The Good, The Bad and The Yams!

Yikes @Booksandbaths1! Wishing you all the luck!

@Owlpatrol I'm brown spotting too. AF due Thurs, I think. PMS pretty bad this cycle - been really grumpy!

@BGDino how are you getting on? Think we were due AF about same time?

@Owlpatrol On no for FP!

@Booksandbaths1 Good luck for this week! Thats gotta be difficult.. your a stronger woman than I am!

@LexieJean Nope.. pain is still there. It comes and goes... its weird. Ive been getting what feels like growing pains in my legs too recently... which is stupid as Ive done like NO exercise recently. Maybe thats the issue.. too much sitting around. lol

Hope you all have a great week you lovely ladies. I'm trying to keep positive and upbeat but must admit i'm struggling a little.

Good luck @books! That is full on.

Sorry about FP @owl I’ve defo been getting myself a little treat each month. Look after yourself.

@pink I hope the pain has gone now?

@Pinkemi @Booksandbaths1 @Owlpatrol sending hugs!

Oh crap @Owlpatrol 😣 I get brown spotting pre FP too. So annoying, though sounds like your LP is good (silver lining). Go get yourself some nice treats.x

I'm away for the rest of the week seeing friends. 2 x new babies and 1 x pregnant friend to visit between Thurs-Sun. Going to have to work hard to keep my emotions together! Wish me luck yammers.

GAH af got me....well actually brown spotting so af will come tomorrow. 30 days this month with no pre spotting so that's good! Still it's a short week for me whahoooo. Onto erm cycle 21!?!!? Never ever thought I'd be here. I think I'm over ttcing now haha it has defined me for a long time, but I'm scared of who I am now when I'm not ttcing does anyone else feel like that or am I just the delusional one?

@LexieJean I dunno about ovulation pain.. Ive never had it before.. surely i would have had ovulation pain before? Saying that I still have it.. so it couldn't be ovulation pain. (Shrug) blerugh is all i can say. lol

Well fingers crossed that I am in for a chance this cycle.. Although with all the stress thats going on.. I'm not so sure that it will be our month anyway.

I tend to offload a bit on my acupuncturist AND my reflexologist too... I feel bad coz recently ive just gone BLAAAAAAAAHHHH as soon as i walk in the door! haha My acupuncturist did actually say on Thursday that my pulse seems a lot "more stressed than normal." I was like.. no shit. lol Definitely think its worth having someone you can just offload onto when going through TTC as long as we all have been.

Hope you all have a lovely week. Mine is looking like its going to be pants already. (sigh)

Pink - if you did it Thursday or Friday and your temp was up today then that's good timing! Temp goes up the day after you ov, so you may have ov'd yesterday to see the temp shift today. Got everything crossed for you!

Lexie - I second acupuncture. I have a good ol' natter with my acupuncturist, she let's me offload to her then needles me so I feel loads better!

Dino - I used to test after fp was expected, as I found it less of a let-down. But I guess you could test Wednesday next? Then you'll be 14dpo or 10dpo and more likely to get a definite result?

@Pinkemi our specialist advised having sex before ovulation actually happens is good because the swimmers can survive up to 5 days and can lie in wait! Will cross all my crossables for you just in case?

I must confess I tested with 2 FRERs Friday and today, even though I know it's too early. TBH I don't even know how many dpo I really am... they called and said my oestrogen had risen on Thu 9/8 and they expected ovulation to happen between then and Sun 12/8... so that's at most 10dpo and at least 7dpo today? When do you normally test?

@pink could that be ovulation pain? I’ve never experienced it but I know some women get a physical pain. Glad the counselling has helped- I’ve found my acupuncturist is like weekly therapy and it’s been soooo helpful for my mental space.

Actually whilst i think of it.. ive been having a really weird pain in my lower stomach recently.. almost like when you hold your pee in for too long you know? Weird cramp style pain. I have no idea what it is. [Confused]

Knowing my luck it will be a water infection or something. Lol

,@FairyAnn yeah ive been to talk to to a councillor recently and found that it really helped. Ive been going through a lot of other rubbish on top of TTC so it felt good to get it off my chest.

So DH and I made sure we "did it" before he left (as hes away this weekend) and low and behold i think i ovulate today. Temp has shot right up! Typical as he is away until tues or Wed.

Guess this month is out too. Lol

What with all the rubbish going on these days.. struggling to keep positive and enthusiastic about anything. [Confused] basically coasting through life.. which is a bit sad really.

A very good viewpoint @booksandbaths1, thank you 😊

@BGDino I think going to see a counsellor at your clinic would be a great idea. I've been completing a higher ed course p/t and accessed a few free counselling sessions via the course. I think the counsellor lady was a bit surprised when I wanted to talk fertility issues instead of coursework but it was soooo helpful. I found offloading my fears and worries to a neutral person made me feel calmer. I think @pinkemi said she went to see someone too and also found it helpful. I'll definitely be utilising the clinic counselling for ivf if that's what we have to do.

@Fairyann I echo what the other wise yammers have said. My DH has slightly low count and low morphology. We've been told it may be a contributing factor to our lack of bfp but the reality is that conceiving is a complex process. So the way we see it is that we both take steps to improve our chances (healthy eating, vits etc) whilst also being realistic that we need to still enjoy life and being a couple. Do remind yourselves that we wouldn't 'blame' someone or oneself for having cancer or getting flu so why on earth would you for fertility issues. It's just random and also incredibly common.

Thanks @lexiejean and @owlpatrol, I think continuing to speak of us as a team is the best way to go. It's so disheartening to see everyone else have it so easy. We don't want much in life, not bothered about expensive things or holidays. This is the only thing we want

Hey @fairyann I know my oh has been struggling recently, he really thought it would happen quickly and is frustrated and sad. We’ve just tried to talk to each other and be reassuring and I’ve been emphasising we’re a team. It’s really hard though, so many emotions. Wish I had some decent advice for you! I guess just keep repeating that it’s not his fault and you’re in it together?

@Teachermummy83 there's this pregnant woman from work and it usually falls to me to organise baby showers (pass the sick bucket) birthday etc and I have outright not engaged in any conversation about planning it. I literally can't face it

@BGDino sounds positive and once again yammers have made me feel better. I was ready to throttle something this morning but knowing you are also thinking about your mental health this makes me feel I am not the only one!

@FairyAnn my dp is in a denial stage that it could be him, it's so hard! I wish I could offer some tips but mine thinks that because he has two already (previous) it can't be him.....It's very frustrating

Morning all, sorry I've been absent for a while. Everything got a bit much and with lots of stress on top of it with work, had to retreat for a bit.

We have our follow up appointment on Thursday so hopefully will get some updates then.

Had a talk with my partner recently and he's admitted he's feeling down because he feels this is his fault (poor motility). Has anyone been in a similar situation? How can I reassure him that I don't blame him at all. I see it as something we overcome together, not just on him. I love him so much and I hate the thought of him blaming himself

Next month is round 2/4 of OI (specialist only attempts x 4 before moving on to IVF). Have been off the booze since July for the treatment, aim to maintain that and do a bit better with self care as this TTC is doing bad things to my mental health. Apparently my clinic has counselling, thinking of looking into it.

6 days till blood BHCG. 4 FRERs burning a hole in my bathroom cabinet. Somebody grab my wrists!!!

@LexieJean ha yes, you'd think so! I checked our ccg website & it was ambiguous. So I emailed them & got 2 conflicting responses (1 said we could self fund 1st & other said we couldn't). So I called them and they didn't really know for sure. Then I called our local clinic... anyway it turns out we can definitely can self fund 1 x cycle so I think that's what we'll do, eek.

Happy weekend all! Chin chin 🍷🍻 x x

Tell me about it @owlpatrol! Exactly the same happened last month, so I’ve decided nobody’s getting baby gifts from now on - they’re the jinxing factor! Hope you have better luck than me - enjoy your wine and chocolate. I’m on a major diet so it’s Diet Coke for me tonight at a wedding dance..... sigh 😔

@books check your local ccg website-mine allows up to 2 privately funded ivf cycles and then couples still qualify for nhs funding but they all vary so worth checking.

@Teachermummy83 oh no how shi**y I'll be joining you tomorrow. I've been avoiding this pregnant lady I know all day....Back home from holiday now I've OCD'd the house and bought a bottle of wine and a large bag of giant buttons

I should have predicted it - Yet again, the day I go baby-gift shopping for all the fertile f***s popping out gorgeous newborns all around me, AF arrives before I’ve even unpacked the shopping. 2 days early as well...... bugger, bugger, bugger!!!!!