The Good, The Bad and The Yams!

Drink til it’s pink @pink! Even if it’s a false negative it would be so early you’d be fine- something about not yet sharing bloods. Can’t remember the details sorry! 🤞 it’s a +

@maddiie I’m so pleased you’ve got a better GP- totally better to try and see what’s going on withcycles like that regardless of TTC. What a horror previous GP was!

Wish I had some advice for you @owl. Finding something else to distract me has been helpful- like eating healthy (although I’m not losing weight) yoga and trying to be social etc so I don’t become obsessed with TTC.
That said our funding came through for ivf today and I was crying in the loo as I read the email!

@BGDino i am so so sorry. You poor thing.

So i dunno what to do. Ive got a hen do to go to tomorrow and FP is due either sunday or monday.

Gonna take a test tomorrow morning. If it's negative then i guess i can drink... but worried about false negatives and all that.

I have really irregular periods, this cycle I'm currently on day 40 something, last month was somewhat regular around 34 days. month before was 93 days.. I went to my gp several months ago during a particularly emotional 120+ day cycle and she was awful, reduced me to tears saying that I should 'go back in 5 years if I want to talk about starting a family' and refused to do anything to help me, which is beyond inappropriate in general and plus I'm 23 I'm hardly 16. I'm I've been to upset to go back to the doctors since.

I've recently moved and registered with a new gp. Rang up this morning and just said I know I shouldn't be calling for help and explained and she was in shock. Said of course I should be calling. Cycles like mine need to be investigated regardless of whether I'm TTC and she can see on my records I first mentioned being TTC 15 months ago, and then again 10 months and again 7 months ago (My cycles make me give up every now and then again, they're so erratic I can't track them and I just get sad and convince myself I'm infertile) but anyway this lovely GP has said it's time to get things in motion so I finally feel like I have a glimmer of hope 

Hope you're all doing ok and best of luck @BGDino wishing you a positive outcome.

@Symptomspotter well I've been trying to loose weight but I agree everything is just a vicious cycle, that with long term ttc, loving food (and wine) and hormones it is so hard. I've been trying the keto diet which is ok and I've lost a few pounds doing that last month so fingers crossed for this month who knows!?

Im actually majorly down today, work is kicking off again, with problems and stress constantly which is not helping me ttc and I know it effects me every month, I'm back at a point of having no idea forward yet again. Ive looked for a new job but nothing is coming up in my area and "carrying on" as dp puts it is not an option. Do any of you ladies have any tips? X

Hope you are doing ok today BGDino and managed to hide out ok - I have been thinking of you. When I had my m/c in Feb, I had the two HCGs and they went up from 1100 to about 1400 in 48 hours and they said it wasn't inevitable but likely. The waiting was horrendous, much worse than previous occasions where I didn't realise until the bleeding. Just wanted to send some empathy.

@BGdino thinking of you, hoping your evening of hiding out goes quickly(!)

it's the waiting for everything that does my head in (Af, then Ov, then LP... Feels like a never ending loop, of testing trying to read body signs for "the window" and hoping lady luck is on side)

Have any of you concentrated on losing weight to help? I'm quite a high bmi (much higher after trying for a few years, with heart ache and comfort eating) know if I go to the Dr to have an IVF convo that will be a barrier (despite being near 35, with no children)..

We've been rigidly taking prenatal vits, and tried the preseed lube this month too (desperate times.. Was super weird to do tmi I knoooo)

We've been trying for so long I just don't know what else is in my gift to do. I know the weight thing is so important, I just feel like such a failure. fp is due sat, I've already blitzed thru 3 hpts and bfn.

@BGDino oh hun sending so many hugs

It's not definite but the odds aren't on our side.

And just to make it suck a little bit more, my husband doesn't come off night shift until Thursday morning and my parents are in Hong Kong dealing with my grandfather's passing.

The only reason I'm not spending the night alone is because hubby forgot his phone tonight so I went clear across the city in an Uber to deliver it, and now I'm hiding in the registrars' on call room for the night instead of going home to an empty flat. (I'm hiding because I don't work at this hospital!)

Crossing my fingers that someone on this thread has better luck than me.

So, so sorry to read that @BGDino

Oh god @dino I’m so sorry to hear that. Is it definite?

It wasn't meant to be.

I got a call from the fertility clinic today to say my BHCG has barely risen instead of doubling. I'm probably going to lose this baby. It's just a matter of when.

@Chooklass I know what you meant about the hormones thing, mine take a nose dive after af starts so not picking up again

@Pinkemi sending lots of hugs but I must admit seeing a counsellor is on my mind again now

@BGDino aww hun if everything does happen for a reason then I truly believe your husband as well, it's funny when these things happen (sorry I didn't mean that to come across insensitive)

So I've decided not to join the bus this month seeing so many young not trying for long bfp's is starting to get me down majorly, I have had so many tantrums this month to dp I'm surprised he's still even here! Anyway onto cycle 21 now. I said to do he has definately got to go for his testing now as I NEED to know what next steps we can take. If it's the IVF route we need to start saving and we can't do that till at least the new year so I can take some time off ttcing if necessary. So here I am cycle day 8 sore nipples lol! Ordered a new pack of opk tests and thinking of getting the lube again this month! Good luck all x

@spark my oh is about as good with his pre-conception tabs 🙄

@dino that is bittersweet. Even though it wasn’t a shock I’m sure you feel sad, I hope his last few weeks were as painless as they could be. 🤞 for you and the bean

A bittersweet update - my 92 year old grandfather died just after midnight Hong Kong time. I found out when I woke up this morning. It turns out that the last conversation we had together, last Tuesday night, when I told him I was pregnant, was really the last time he was completely lucid. After that the uraemia from his failing kidneys kicked in. As I mentioned before I think, we weren't even supposed to have found out until the Friday, and by then he may not have understood what was being told to him. My husband said that maybe this is a sign that this baby really is meant to be - I hope so.

Pinkemi no idea if it’s any good. I started on it a couple of weeks ago. There are men’s ones and women’s ones in the box and so far DP has taken one tablet.

@OrcinusOrca I lasted barely 72 hours on metformin - at a dose of 500mg daily! I had such bad cramps and diarrhoea the only way to tolerate the drug was not to eat anything... did wonder if that's how it makes you lose weight, by forcing you to fast! Hope appointment on Wednesday goes well.

@SparkwoodAnd21 sending you hugs

I'm having another blood test tomorrow morning (reassurance bloods I guess, the nurse offered when I rang about the cramping), also need to go see my GP and make an appointment with my psych as yesterday my normal hand tremors got noticeably much worse, along with feeling generally shaky and lethargic... all symptoms of mild lithium toxicity so I've spent the weekend resting, drinking lots of water and NOT taking my lithium. (Also thank goodness for ED doctor friends who answer texts about what to do for that on a Saturday night!)

@sparkwoodand21 ohh i think thats what ive just ordered from holland and Barrett. Is it any good?

Sorry to hear you feel like you wanna give up. :-(

Congratulations Dino!

I haven’t posted on this thread for ages because I’ve almost given up. It’s been almost 2.5 years of trying and I can’t take much more. I’m 41 so I think I have to accept it. I won three months of Proceive so once that’s done then so am I.

Congratulations @BGDino !! So pleased to read your update.

Going to do some reading back to catch up on everything. I have an appt at the fertility clinic on Weds. I've been feeling quite unwell generally the last year and my GP agreed to put me on metformin to see if that helps (given recent PCOS diagnosis) both normal health wise and fertility wise. The side effects are grim and it makes me feel horrid though. Bit nervous about the appt on Weds but will have to see what the plan is then.

Glad everything’s ok @dino

No more waiting for me- harsh cramping and FP started this morning. It’s 3 days earlier than expected so does that mean I got my ov date wrong? I used opks but still doubt them. At least I can have a coffee and hit the sales this long weekend! 🙄

@Pinkemi oh I totally understand the FB thing, I deactivated mine two weeks ago because it was too hard getting random b-bombs in my newsfeed and doing bad things to my mental health. Still haven’t gone back TBH.

Got cramps yesterday which totally freaked me out, but fertility nurse said not to panic. Think they actually felt worse than they were as haven’t had actual cramps since before going on the Pill 13 years ago! No bleeding though. BHCG doubled nicely from 66 on Wednesday to 120. Have been told to take it easy and rest this weekend so spending the whole day napping snuggled up to hubby while he sleeps for night shift seems totally justifiable

@pinkemi I totally understand and don't feel bad for having a moan here ever - that's what this space is for. I've done so much 'hiding/snoozing' of folk on fb that I'm surprised there's anyone left on mine now.

I'm feeling upset and hacked off too. Seems like this is one of my weird short cycles as FP seems imminent (cd22). The past few days with babies and now my pregnant friend combined with pms isn't making me feel good (hence insomnia & 4am post!). Plus hycosy appmt date next month and now this short cycle rules out that cycle for trying and yet I wanted 2 more goes before moving to ivf. We likely won't be eligible for nhs cycle til march'19 so are looking to fund privately oct/nov to fit in with work. Oh and dh said today if a few cycles of ivf don't work for us maybe we just need to accept it and move on with our lives. Ugh feeling crap. Hope other yammers are having cheerier weekends. 🌻

@LexieJean exactly.. smug mothers with their perfect lives. gah! but i know.. I know that what you see on facebook isnt the whole picture. Some people could have been struggling just as long as we have.. we just dont know! But its too painful to keep seeing all those + signs when i have never even had a small glimmer of one showing up for myself.. you know?

I'm actually seeing a counsellor for other reason.. but its such a relief to finally talk face to face to someone about all this TTC bull. And she is helping me by trying to provide coping strategies.

@Symptomspotter we are just looking into IVF now after trying for 16 cycles. We are having to go private though as NHS wont allow us to have it due to my BMI being over 30. I would check what your local area allows your BMI to be. The private clinic we are looking at wont let us have IVF with a BMI of over 35. im 34.4 at the moment so i need to be careful that I dont put on any more!

We are having a consultation in the first week of September.. with the hope that they will allow us to start in October.

@pinkemi I completely understand, sometimes is just too painful to see (what feels like) everyone becoming pregnant so easily when it feels forever away personally. Sending big hugs! What I would say tho is what people post and reality are usually miles apart.

Bit of a question to all, how long have you waited before trying to get Ivf? I'm wondering whether it just isn't going to happen for us and whether it might be an avenue to explore, altho my bmi is so high I'd probably be excluded

@pink it doesn’t sound silly at all to remove yourself from things like Facebook groups. I couldn’t hack all the perfect mothers bullshit and have left it completely- it wasn’t doing me any good constantly comparing myself to others and their children! I’m so pleased you have your counsellor, I think it should be mandatory when you’re TTC as it’s such a head fuck! Wishing you strength 💪💐

Sorry @chooklass. I’m due Tuesday and pretty sure FP will arrive- still have really sore boobs and spots. Just want to get that deluded false hope out of my system and start FP already!

Good luck @books that’s a tough few days. You can do it! 💐

You’ve reminded me @fairyann to chase my ivf funding as we’re on that path now too.