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Original poster

Would I be stupid to try for another baby at 41 with a 6 year age gap?

31 replies

dilemma45 · 31/05/2018 14:16

Has anyone done this? What are the pros and cons

I have one dc and thought I was finished but I have this nagging feeling...

I know it might not happen anyway but should I try or would that be foolish?

OP posts:
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Original poster
dilemma45 · 19/06/2018 16:27

Thanks for all your messages. Will keep you posted!

OP posts:
CamdenTownie · 07/06/2018 20:34

I'm 38, dh 41 and we've just decided to ttc again, my youngest would be 11 years old if we were successful.

We've taken the same attitude of if we don't try we'll regret it in a few years when it's no longer an option.

I do agree that if you're considering it then it must be something you want to happen.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 07/06/2018 20:08

Decided to ttc in the October and got a bfp in Feb!!

Original poster
dilemma45 · 07/06/2018 20:01

April wow 43 .. that's amazing!! Did it take long?

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LimpLettice · 04/06/2018 19:44

I'm going to be 41 a month before this one comes, my DD will be almost 9, so no, I hope it'll be fine!

It's been a bit of a struggle, 3 early losses, although I've found it easy enough to get pregnant. 16 weeks now though and feeling pretty good. I'm definitely more tired already, but that's to be expected and we're financially in a much better place for me to have more time off to recover.

kirinm · 04/06/2018 19:19

It was literally no trying with this one but I've had 4 miscarriages too although I was still in my mid-late 30s when they happened.

Original poster
dilemma45 · 04/06/2018 18:46

Congrats kirinm

For those of you who had later pregnancies how long did it take to conceive and did you have miscarriages along the way.. I know the chances are much higher over 40 and that frightens me about trying

But the alternative is no second child at all

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Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 04/06/2018 08:57

I had ds at 43 when ds was 6!!

kirinm · 04/06/2018 08:55

For what it's worth, I feel physically fine at 27 weeks. Not particularly tired or anything. I'm still running 4-5 x a week so I'm not sure being 40+ necessarily means you're going to struggle with being pregnant. I'm dreading sleep deprivation though towards the end of pregnancy and when the baby arrives.

Original poster
dilemma45 · 04/06/2018 07:44

Sorry to hear that cleo

Good luck with ttc

OP posts:
Cleozeta · 02/06/2018 12:54

I think it would be nice for the older ones to have a future friend and also they could enjoy helping out and feeling feeling grown up and important.

It will be harder though, I have just had a mc after over a year of trying. Not giving up yet though!

Original poster
dilemma45 · 02/06/2018 10:24

Ruby .. I will be hitting my mid/ late 50s when dc leaves school/ heads to uni anyway also I guess what's another 6 years?

OP posts:
HayCaramba · 02/06/2018 08:27

I’m 39, just had DC2 and DC1 is 6 years old. We thought we were done with one child then had a rethink and decided to try for another for a short, defined time period. If it was meant to be, it’d happen and if not we’d move on and keep enjoying DC1. I got pregnant first month.
There’s no jealousy issues, I get to spend lots of time with DC2 when DC1 is at school and DC1 will have a sibling (he doesn’t have any cousins). Being slightly older parents we’ve made a commitment to eating healthier food and looking after ourselves. Good luck in your choice.

AndCallMeNancy · 02/06/2018 08:24

Another one saying you should go for it. Does your DC ask about siblings? I have a 4 year old who would be over the moon if I got pregnant (as would I!). Me and DH both have siblings with a 5 year age gap to us who we have both always been close to.

If you try for 6 months with no joy then your GP should run some tests which can give you clues to your ovarian reserve, or you could go to a private clinic for a fertility MOT.

As PP have said, you will be at higher risk of a miscarriage due to egg quality declining with age.

Good luck OP Flowers

HangersOn · 02/06/2018 08:22

If you can do it (physically and financially) and want to try, I’d go for it.

I wouldn’t worry about the age gap because that will diminish as they get older (adult age) - but it may well be nicer for your children to have a sibling as you age.

But you will be more tired! I was 29 with my first and nearly 37 with my fourth - I was so much more tired. And you will be older when they are teenagers - but that may not matter. They could be an easy teenager/ they could keep you young.

HidCat · 02/06/2018 08:12

I'd go for it! My Dad was 43 when I was born and we have a great relationship. The 6yr age gap is no different to if you'd had a second 2yrs ago and wanted a third so I don't see it being a problem. My cousin had a baby at 40 wit an 11 yr age gap to her oldest sibling g and to this day they are very close. I'm facing a 6yr age gap with mine now as we had a miscarriage but it won't stop me trying.

CookieWaffle · 02/06/2018 08:11

There's 6 years between me and my sibling and it's never been a big issue. Of course we got jealous of eachother but what kid doesn't get jealous of their siblings. Now we're older the age gap doesn't make any difference anyway.

kirinm · 02/06/2018 08:06

I'm pregnant, 40 and will have a 22 year age gap!

Original poster
dilemma45 · 02/06/2018 08:00

Yes I don't think it is very likely to happen but maybe it's worth a try...

Good luck cleo.. if it does happen
are you worried how it might affect your older one. Mines been an only for so long

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Cleozeta · 01/06/2018 23:48

I'm trying at 41 and there will be a 6 year age gap if we succeed soon.
It's harder to conceive and more risk of miscarriage, but it's certainly worth a try

LadyCassandra · 01/06/2018 23:00

My mum said similar. She actually told me i’d ruin my relationship with my eldest (she was projecting, she hated being the eldest of 4). It’s not your mum’s decision.

MrsDilber · 01/06/2018 16:19

Go for it ASAP. Time is of the essence and you don't want to regret not trying down the line. Good luck!

Original poster
dilemma45 · 01/06/2018 15:55

My mum just said " you won't be having another one now love will you? You're too old😩

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Ninchninch · 01/06/2018 10:39

Oh oh oh also my mum had my brother at 42. I was 16 and my sister was 8. So it's probably quite common.

Ninchninch · 01/06/2018 10:37

My friend is currently pregnant with DC2 she is 39 and will have a 6 year age gap. If it's what you want do it.

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