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Conception

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Original poster

Anyone else trying for DC3?!

544 replies

LittleTipple · 29/05/2018 14:44

Can't quite believe I've just written that title...after a lot of indecision DH and I have decided to see where fate takes us. So we're not obsessively trying, but I know generally when I ovulate so we'll DTD around that time. Tbh we're still not 100% convinced we'd cope with three, but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.

I've been thinking about it constantly and our ages mean it's now or never. We adore our 2 DC's and if that's what we're meant to have we'll be very happy, but if fate has other ideas, we're up for the challenge!

About to start AF and then off we go Smile

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UntilTheVeryEnd · 11/06/2018 07:59

Hi @soelle you are very welcome! It can be daunting making the decision but I promise this is a very safe space to air your worries 😊

In my journey to TTC acceptance I spent many long hours lurking on the larger families section of MN - I found it incredibly helpful in convincing me that 3 isn’t actually that big when some lovely ladies were conceiving their 6, 7, 8th child... plus there were some really helpful threads about cars etc

Love this thread and my MN buddies - I can’t talk to anyone in RL so having a place to talk here is just awesome.

Baby dust to everyone x

Original poster
LittleTipple · 10/06/2018 21:18

Hi @soelle I think we've all been at the umming and ahhing stage and then taken the leap! To make it less scarey DH and I aren't spending too much time actively planning, we're just leaving it to fate and that seems less daunting Smile

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soelle · 10/06/2018 17:05

Hi ladies,

Can I join in this thread? I have two girls (nearly 6 and 3.5) and we’re after umming and aahing we’ve decided to go for it and try for number 3!

UntilTheVeryEnd · 10/06/2018 10:34

Forgot to add... with work a joint account - both wages go into 1 pot and all bills come out of this account. We no longer use or need single accounts. I am in control of the savings pot tho - hubby would spend it all on tractors if he had unlimited access to it.
He is happy that I save but grumpy that he can’t see what I have saved. We are putting up an extension so funds are tight at the moment.

UntilTheVeryEnd · 10/06/2018 10:30

I’ve always hated the idea of being 100% dependant on DH for everything - I know it’s dodgey to think negatively but what if for whatever reason we separated and I suddenly had no income to support my children?!
Saying this my hubby is now really good and says it’s basically “our” money and never questions what I spend. (I only work 1 day a week so my tiny wage is a pittance in comparison) He keeps saying he wants me to resign for like 5 years and go back (if I want to) when all DC are in school. This is completely contrary to how he used to be - very much into equal contributions.

I do enjoy being more or less a SAHM - this time with my DC has been so precious but I do sometimes feel a bit isolated- especially as my job is so intense and intellectual demanding going from that full time to only interacting with my 3 year old is taking some adjusting.

I was such a career minded young woman and now I’m having to watch my colleagues be promoted, and it’s hard! I feel very jealous but at the same time blessed that all the time in the world to focus on my career and only a short time with my babies - hence wanting to have DC 3 now to “get it all out of the way” at the same time.
Sorry for the moan...do folk understand where I am coming from tho?

Original poster
LittleTipple · 10/06/2018 09:43

@Megs87 TBH I was concerned about the financial side of becoming a SAHM because I've always been independent and hated the idea of being reliant on DH. I've got a savings pot that I use for bits and bobs, presents, paying for my car etc, but DH pays the rest. Obviously I miss my salary and feeling free to buy things without too much thought, but DH has been great and always said the money he earns is 'our' money and as long as I don't go mad, he doesn't question what I spend (it's almost always for the kids anyway). We paid off all debts before DC1, so we were starting from a good position. Yes, we've had to cut back, but what I've realised is how much money I wasted on tat, takeaways and unnecessary purchases. When there is less money it focuses your mind and I love looking for bargains now.

I think success financially very much depends on how you and your DH approach it. People have different set ups - some have a monthly allowance, some have joint accounts or credit cards that DH pays. I would definitely suggest a conversation to agree how your finances will work and ensure it is viable and that you are both happy.

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NoseringGirl · 10/06/2018 09:17

@Megs87 it was gradual for us as I worked part time for a while after DS1 and then DH got a new job which meant I could stop working. I was the higher earned at one point so I've found it a bit strange to not be earning at all though.

Megs87 · 10/06/2018 06:44

@LittleTipple @NoseringGirl hope you don't mind me asking....how did you find dropping down to 1 salary? I'm trying to convince OH to let me stay at home but I earn the same as him so it will be cutting it in half

AF still not properly arrived and a bfn on an IC

Wingingit321 · 10/06/2018 06:26

CD 35 here. Pcos. Had a faint line the other day which darkened overnight but I think it’s a nasty evap. Had bfn of FMU with IC.

I’ve actually just applied for a job! If I get it would go back to work and put potential baby in Nursery as it’s a term time only job/gold dust! My other 2 are at school and school nursery so that’s childcare sorted .

Original poster
LittleTipple · 09/06/2018 22:23

@UntilTheVeryEnd I'm a SAHM now and for the most part love it. I had a good career and never thought I'd be happy 'just' at home, but I am. It feels the right place to be. I know it's not for everyone and some days I pray for bedtime to come quicker, but overall I feel lucky to have all this time with my babies. When I go back to work it will probably be in a different industry because I was working long hours and needed a lot of flexibility. I'd struggle to make it work with children.

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Megs87 · 09/06/2018 20:36

@UntilTheVeryEnd no not yet officially due on tomorrow so will see what happens then.

I still work full-time as I could find a part time job, I work as an accountant so there isn't much flexibility. I am hoping to go part time after dc3 as my work are quite flexible now :) I hate working full time and I would love to be a sahm however I don't think we could afford for me to not work at all :-/

NoseringGirl · 09/06/2018 19:58

Hello @UntilTheVeryEnd 👋
I stopped working just before DS2. I do some volunteer work but am pretty much a SAHM. I absolutely love it. We're never actually at home, we're always out and about doing fun stuff. I sometimes worry about how I'll get back into work when the kids are older but I love my lifestyle now.

UntilTheVeryEnd · 09/06/2018 19:42

@Megs87 did AF arrive? OPKs are a mystery to me but one assumes you pee on it and hope for a line?

@NoseringGirl 👋 I recongise you from the waiting to TTC board - trying for 3 makes us different to lots of others on the conception boards... I really enjoy this little thread cause we are all practically in the same boat.

What’s everyone planning to do re working once DC 3 comes on the go? I ask as I am very conflicted with my job as i am a teacher... I obviously don’t want to leave but find managing my job part time with 2 DC hard enough!

Megs87 · 08/06/2018 21:41

I think AF is arriving 😞 on the plus side my OPKs have arrived, no idea how they work tbf

Wingingit321 · 08/06/2018 19:59

Mega87 we do that too!!

Original poster
LittleTipple · 08/06/2018 14:21

@NoseringGirl No treatment for the sciatica, but I think I'll need to do something. The occasional pain now is bad enough, so dreading if I get pregnant. Last time my midwife said near the end of my pregnancy that she could have referred for physio, so I would mention it straight away this time.

I am worried about medical bits generally. Each thing seemed to be a bit worse with 2nd pregnancy, I just hope a third won't break me!

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Original poster
LittleTipple · 08/06/2018 14:10

Ha, yes it is definitely less sexy third time round. We were so enthusiastic with DC1 and took good advantage of DTD all the time in the name of making a baby. This time round the activity is a lot 'quicker' shall we say Wink Two small children are exhausting and I'm all touched out by the end of the day!

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Megs87 · 08/06/2018 14:04

😂😂 my hubby actually woke up this past cycle to ensure we got our DTD in! So romantic! Or we sneak off whilst kids are playing and then panic that we might get interrupted!

UntilTheVeryEnd · 08/06/2018 11:29

Having a wee giggle to myself thinking of us all - dead exhausted trying to sexy it up to conceive DC3.

I swear I am so tired by bedtime! the thought of DTD every other day just wouldn’t happen in my house - Netflix and chill in my house is Netflix and fall asleep while it is still playing 😂

Megs87 · 08/06/2018 09:42

That's really good that they picked up on it quickly for you.

Haha yes, one of us has a tendency to fall asleep putting the youngest to bed! And I'm not a morning person 😕 So glad I found this board...I couldn't keep up with those DTD every day around ov

NoseringGirl · 08/06/2018 09:09

@LittleTipple that sounds very painful! Have you had any treatment for it? I'm looking forward to the having a bump part too. It's a lovely feeling and just about worth all the pain and general discomfort!

Thanks @Megs87 I'm a lot better now. I was luckily already under an excellent perinatal mental health team because I'd had problems when DS1 was a baby. So they picked up on it and treated me very quickly.
A complication free pregnancy would be amazing!

It's definitely a lot more difficult getting things done at the right time when you've already got two kids isn't it? We're always exhausted by the time we've got into bed.

Megs87 · 08/06/2018 07:06

Both my pregnancies have been terrible and had emcs with both of them so I guess at least I will know when baby is coming this time round. It only lasts for 9 months I guess :) can you imagine if all the pregnancies were complication free this time?!

Ah so exciting @LittleTipple I have everything crossed for you on first cycle success

I've been trying to ensure we DTD in the fertile period but never seem to quite hit on time as typically hubby is either working away or the kids play up 🙈

Original poster
LittleTipple · 07/06/2018 22:05

@Megs87 this is our first cycle of going with the flow. We've been so indecisive about having a third, that we decided to leave it up to fate. Therefore I'm not manically tracking like I did for previous pregnancy's. We'll DTD when we can near fertile periods and see how it goes, but I'm desperately trying not to get too obsessive about it!

@UntilTheVeryEnd I've no idea how long deposits last, but probably not too long! Someone mentioned it on another thread, but I've got no knowledge I'm afraid.

@NoseringGirl hello! My last pregnancy was hard going too and I still get sciatica now. Part of me would love to be pregnant again (love a bump and feeling the baby), but I worry about the medical side. Just have to grit our teeth and get on with it!

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Megs87 · 07/06/2018 21:57

@NoseringGirl welcome :) good luck with your TTC journey and hope it doesn't take you as long this time round. Sorry to hear about your PND, hope you are ok now xx

NoseringGirl · 07/06/2018 21:13

Hello! Can I join please? We're in our first proper cycle of TTC#3 (we've not been overly careful for the last couple of months though). Both our kids took nearly 18 months of TTC each so I feel like I might be in it for the long haul! I'm equal parts terrified and excited. My last pregnancy was awful (sickness, aversions, early onset GDM and then bad SPD). I also had PND when DS2 was born. Feel like I'm a bit mad to put myself through it again but we're all very happy now and would love another!

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