Any older ladies? I'm 46 and really want another baby, too old?

My friends mum had him at 42. He's now 34 and planning his own family. She has recently been diagnosed with dementia and is unlikely to remember his wedding next year or their subsequent family. He also says that by the time he was 20, his dad had died (was a couple of years older than his mum) he had no grandparents and his aunt's and uncles were being diagnosed with cancer and other illnesses. He now only has his mum, one aunt and a handful of cousins in their 50s. He feels very alone in caring for his mum.

It's possible- plenty of 42+ babies in my family.
But. You have 3 healthy children. Why risk the impact on their lives by potentially bringing home another child who is going to need extra care, or worse?
I think it's very common to feel broody at the end of your reproductive days, but having a baby won't keep you young.
Be thankful for what you already have, and concentrate on your existing children (and I say this as someone with secondary infertility).

I'm 50 and the thought of having a 3/4 year old to look after fills me with horror. Our lives are now getting easier with the youngest being 12.

I'm with gamerchick and would be grating my face off with her

Good luck!
I'm the same age and although I wouldn't try for a baby now, it wouldn't be a disaster if it happened. It would for DH though, he is firmly in the no more camp! (We have 3 between us). But I would be worried about the baby being healthy and I would worry about how long I would live and will I be around for this child growing up? Thoughts I'm sure you'll have had yourself.
As an older Mum it will be noticed by some people, you may get someone tactless enough to call you Granny, but these are small nuisances really.
I rarely sleep all night now and if you've older kids things like the broken sleep (whilst still hard) will at least be familiar.
My DD has older siblings so I figure if I wasn't around, she has other family. Both my Mum and her Mum died quite young (68 and 72) which does worry me a bit as I was mid 30's when I had DD.

OP the thing about fertility and pregnancy is that for all the statistics in the world and generalisations, its an individual thing at the end of the day. Yes, you are older so will be more difficult to conceive, risk of miscarriage and abnormalities is higher but that said I know lots of people who had babies in their early - mid forties without any problems at all. That said, much as I would have liked another, I called a halt around 43-44 - it was taking too much out of me emotionally

If you are ovulating, it is always possible. I am 41 and perimenopausal (high FSH) and got a bfp 3 months ago. Sadly it ended in mmc, but it still happened, and I won't be giving up. Come on over to the 40+ ttc thread, there are some ladies on there who are the same age as you and going for it.

Technically it’s not impossible, yes. However there is a good chance your egg quality won’t great, so higher chance of miscarriage and other chromosomal issues. Also yes higher chance of multiples.

You could do the fsh/amh tests, but tbh in my experience, unless your numbers are sky high (or low in the case of amh) they won’t tell you definitely if you can conceive or not.

Yes, 46 is old. However, if this would be your first, I would understand. However, you have 3 DC’s. Why can’t you enjoy the children you already have ? It is natural to want a biological child but I really think people just want babies as some sort of fetish... I don’t know, can’t think of another word I can use.

I hope you have a chance if it's what you truly want.
But...
Do you remember the newborn days? Not the nice cuddly ones. The sleepless weeks ones? I'm thirty and the youngest is teething and I'm breaking.
Fair play to you if you can do it at 46. Bloody marvellous, I don't think I could!
Good luck!

Haven’t RTFT so this may already have been raised. You’re much more likely to have multiples with later babies.
Our surprise 3rd (I was 45) was twins and it’s v common as you’re literally spraying out all those last ditch eggs

OTOH. If you can afford the time and effort (toddlers and teenagers were fun )
Then let the dice fly high.

I’m 45 and it would be too old for me, but if it’s not for you then go for it

Agree with expat i wouldn’t take the risk at 46 Just enjoy being mum to the 3 healthy children you’ve already got

@LavendarLove

I hope you don't think I was criticising you in any way. I wasn't.

I suppose there are risks, but that is all it is..... a risk, not a certainty.

Hope someone comes along to give you some success stories.

I'd be too afraid of the risks of disability, tbh. I'd quit whilst you're ahead.

It's interesting what you say about the longevity in your family OP.

My DH's grandparents all died in their 60s or before, SIL and MIL went through menopause at 42 and had their children straight from school.

My family live long long lives, menopause is mid to late 50s, my grandmother was still having children in her late 40s.

I think it's all to do with the individual.

Why do you want another child right now?

Tell the truth!

If it were me with a five year old I would be sitting back and waiting for the day 5yr old is independent and I could go off on mad holidays and live a little of the madness that we all have inside us.

That is just my opinion OP, but if you didn't have doubts you would not have asked!

Best of luck, but do think it through realistically and consider your family and yourself in all this first.

I think you need to do what’s right for you and your families situation. How old is your DH/DP? Will you both be in your 60s when your child is in their 20s? That could be quite limiting and it’s likley your child would lose his/her parents relatively young.

Do what is right for you and good luck if you decide to go ahead with it!

Op will your potential child really want a mum who will be nearly 60 when they are 13?

I felt like l could easily bring up another child at 40 and 45, now at 48 things have changed so much.........
even with HRT energy drops off a cliff for most and a host of other symptoms start.......no one can truly outrun age.

I couldn't honestly be a fraction of the mum l was to my Dcs now if l had a newborn as l simply don't have the same energy.

Its all very well in early 40s being so optomistic but add 20 yrs....will you still be relevant, healthy and capable...maybe, maybe not.

Do what is right for you. I love being a mum and my children's age are 27, 25, 10, 9, 7,and my lovely babe age 5. All healthy and born a good weight and labour was trouble free. The only one that was trouble was my oldest, I had an e s c at 2 weeks over, he was only 5lb and hadn't moved all day and we were luck he came on great as he grew. I was 21 yrs old. It's an personal thing if you want another and you are well enough do what you want. I have no regrets, what I am saying problems can happen at any age but mine were when I was young. I had all mine naturally no ivf .