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Original poster

Any anxiety sufferers out there?

29 replies

TTC7 · 09/05/2018 20:00

Hi guys- so we are on cycle 5 of trying (I don't think it will happen for us this month tbh). I'm literally doing everything possible to help our chances, I'm having zita west pills and maca root x3 a day! I have been for an arvigo maya massage a couple of times (and do it on myself each night as the massage woman told me to). Eating well, exercising etc. After we do the deed, I even lie there with my legs in the air for 10 mins (sorry if TMI). I even say a little prayer every night whilst we are actively trying. I'm now in that awful 2 week waiting period. The thing is, TTC is bad enough, but i suffer with anxiety (and some depression) and not being successful is making it all the more worse. Then it's a vicious cycle because the more I get anxious, the more I think that is making my chances of pregnancy lower. Anyone else suffer with anxiety and have any helpful tips please?

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Original poster
TTC7 · 10/05/2018 10:34

@Lookingforadvice15 it's always the way :-( I have so many friends that either got pregnant first time/very quickly or even some where it was an accident. Bar one friend, no one is able to empathise with what it's like truly TTC for months on end.

Re your sister I think just put yourself first. If you don't feel like always being around her (as it's a constant reminder) then I think that is perfectly fine. Your health is the priority and esp when TTC. Then maybe in time, you might be more comfortable in seeing her etc a bit more. Oh gosh the MMC must have been so tough, but thank goodness you were ultimately blessed with you DD.

Yes, I know, someone else said that to me also, positive thinking re the room as I don't want it to become a self fulfilling prophecy. That's a good idea, I might try re the saying 3 positive things. Really good luck to you x

@Mylittlebee1 oh man, that's tough. Try some breathing exercises (they have really helped me) and I'm also defo going to try and get back into meditation. Perhaps try that also if you don't currently meditate? Sending you lots of positive vibes x

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Mylittlebee1 · 10/05/2018 10:14

I'm the same, my anxiety is not good generally but it's through the roof at the moment.

But then I've been TTC for 20 years and on my 5ft ivf attempt. Currently 8dp5dt, positive HPT but started spotting. My heart is pounding out my chest everytime I go to the loo!

Lookingforadvice15 · 10/05/2018 09:46

@TTC7 yes she knows im trying and that ive really really been struggling with it as well as my anxiety.

It also brings back a lot of the past. In 2013 when i found out i was pregnant for the first time she found out she was too the following month with her 3rd (planned) there was only 4wks between our due dates. I had been trying at that point for 9mths and almost felt like it stole my thunder a bit. Then i had the mmc which was without doubt the worse thing i have ever been through, then i had to continue on watching her bump grow, while going back to step 1 and ttc again. As i say i was pregnant within 3mths again with my dd but in between that time was horrible.
This just feels like its bring all that back. How ive been trying but it seems to come so easily for her. I feel like there is some resentment there. I did congratulate her but ive also been keeping a distance because its too hard and i would have thought she would have been able to understand that.

I have been looking into positive thinking. It can be really hard when your anxious but i have been saying three positive things each day that i am happy/thankful for. Instead of walking past the empty room and feeling sad walk past it with a smile that you are in your new family home and one day it will be your childs room.

I really hope that it happens for you soon

Original poster
TTC7 · 10/05/2018 09:21

@Lookingforadvice15 i totally empathise and feel like I could have written parts of your post too (I've also been going back to yoga and feel like I have been getting depressed- I just don't feel myself at all at the moment tbh).

Does your sister know that you are TTC? If she is a sympathetic person, do you think it would help if you spoke to her about it so that she understood why you aren't jumping for joy for her maybe?

I'm glad you have also heard good things about acupuncture. I have booked in for my first session next week. Really hope it helps.

It's also difficult because both my husband and I are "planners" and thought I would honestly be pregnant by now. We have just bought our first home. The room next to ours was always supposed to be a nursery. Now all i imagine is that when we move in I'm going to be walking past an empty room each day and it will be a constant reminder that there is no baby in there x

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Lookingforadvice15 · 10/05/2018 08:43

So glad i found this thread.

@TTC7 i could have literally written your original post myself. I am on cycle 5 ttc #2. I have suffered from anxiety for at least the past 10yrs on and off. I was on anti depressants in 2013 found out i was pregnant. That pregnancy ended in mmc and i alway blame myself that it was because of the tablets. I stayed off them after that and fell pregnant with my dd 3months later.

This time the longer it is taking the worse my anxiety is. The more i try not to think about it the more it becomes all i can think about. I have been trying to keep busy. I also download an app and i have been going back to yoga once a week. Ive decided if nothing happens this month im going to acupuncture next month, heard amazing things about it.

I also understand about the avoiding part. I feel myself withdrawing more and more from people to the point im getting into a depression and thats the last thing i need on top of my anxiety.

My sister who already has 3 kids and WASNT ttc has just found out that she is pregnant with number 4. She was not interested in another child at all and had missed her pill. It has all but ruined our relationship at the moment as she cannot understand why i am not jumping for joy for her and feels that i am being selfish.

Original poster
TTC7 · 10/05/2018 08:17

@turtlesone thank you, I'm going to download the app again and give it a go (good idea to meditate whilst having legs up in the air also!)

@Laurenita ah I feel for you, panic attacks are just awful :-( You May have seen above that i did CBT and have found that it has really helped with my panic attacks. I learned a breathing technique which really helps when I feel a panic attack coming on. But I know exactly how you feel, if you have had a panic attack or bad bout of anxiety during a cycle, it's difficult.

@Hayleyg2305 initially I felt awful for having these thoughts and so I was distancing myself from my friends. But actually, so many women struggle with similar thoughts and now that I understand that they are only natural, it has actually helped with my coping a little.

Wishing ladies lots of luck x

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Hayleyg2305 · 10/05/2018 07:39

@ttc7 i think sometimes its hard to be happy for people without that sounding horrible, and @nillynally, i will try again in a couple of days althought im not hoping for much :-) xx

Laurenita · 09/05/2018 22:11

Hey, long time anxiety sufferer here. Also had depression in the past. I’ve been doing well in the last 6-9 months but found out recently I needed some fillings and I am TERRIFIED of the dentist. Queue a meltdown today on the chair! 😭 I was told to get some Benzodiazepines from my doctor then come back. Even after the panic attack stopped, my heart hurt literally all day and I had a banging headache from crying. What a palava. For that reason, I’m thinking that there isn’t much hope this month 😭 I’m 34, TTC #1 on cycle 4, CD 6 / 24 (av).

turtlesone · 09/05/2018 21:49

Yeah give it another go. I'm an over-thinker, I'd get really stuck in my thoughts and it stopped that and stopped me obsessing over the fact we were TTC.

I also did the legs in the air thing (prop my hips up under a pillow) and would meditate then! Made me find the whole thing quite relaxing!

Original poster
TTC7 · 09/05/2018 21:40

@Hayleyg2305 yep, tell me about it. I avoided going to dinner with my group of girlfriends as I was TTC same time as another friend and she got pregnant first cycle. I'm obviously happy for her but I feel kind like oh, that should have been me :-(

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Original poster
TTC7 · 09/05/2018 21:38

@turtlesone thanks for the suggestion. I have used headspace many years ago and didn't quite take to it. But I'm going to give it another go I think, got nothing to lose. Thanks! x

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Hayleyg2305 · 09/05/2018 21:37

@ttc7, the worst thing is watching everyone around you having babies, its horrible, i deleted social media because it was taunting me. X

Nillynally · 09/05/2018 21:36

@Hayleyg2305 well I'll say a very cautious congratulations then... when will you test again?

Original poster
TTC7 · 09/05/2018 21:36

@8DaysAWeek forgot to mention that I also track literally everything, almost to an obsessive level. However this current cycle, post ovulation I have tried not to be so rigid with measuring my BBT and next cycle I think I'm also going to try and chill out with all the tracking generally. Even for this short period of time, it's definitely helped not being so obsessive over tracking and therefore I think helping me be more balanced mentally. So perhaps try having a little break from all the tracking, even if just for 1 cycle x

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turtlesone · 09/05/2018 21:34

I would really really recommend meditation. This is what I did and I do think it helped me, I was so much more chilled whilst TTC than I otherwise would have been. I use the headspace app which has guided meditation, it really helped with my anxiety and can't recommend it enough! If you don't want to get the app think there is also guided meditation on YouTube.

Original poster
TTC7 · 09/05/2018 21:33

@8DaysAWeek I really recommend CBT. During the sessions you learn different techniques to help with anxiety, so it would be worth a shot. x

@Hayleyg2305 I know, it's so difficult. For me I find it even harder at the moment because I'm at an age where so many of my friends have either given birth recently or are pregnant...and I'm not. Best of luck to you x

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Hayleyg2305 · 09/05/2018 21:30

@nillynally, i stopped trying at a year, i just lost all hope, i done a test today 4 day before af was due and got a very faint positive, although i am not getting my hopes up dont believe it at all, x

Hayleyg2305 · 09/05/2018 21:28

I have an anxiety disorder also; and trust me i honestly went loopy for a while... and i realised it was making me quite ill, im only in my mid twenties, and panic all the time because its not happened, so trust me i know how you feel, best of luck to you... hope you get there soon xx

8DaysAWeek · 09/05/2018 21:00

Good idea @Nillynally! Will look into trying some audio books.

@TTC7 no I've not tried therapy, though would like to. Before I had my son I went to the GP and was prescribed anti-depressants (at the time depression was far worse than anxiety, though that's flipped now) and they really helped. I stopped them when I fell pregnant though. I've always liked the idea behind CBT though.

Amz8898 · 09/05/2018 20:53

@Nillynally that's great news !!! There are horror stories when you look into it on line !!! I wish I never got it but I have fibroids and that was the only thing to help at the time .... good luck with TTC . Hopefully it will happen soon for us xxxx

Nillynally · 09/05/2018 20:50

@Amz8898 about 6 years! She was coming off to have a break as she'd been on it for so long!

Amz8898 · 09/05/2018 20:46

@Nillynally omg .... 😍 I hope this happens for me . I have already told my other half we will be doing it everyday 😂. Was she on it long ? I've had two shots 🤞xxxxx

Original poster
TTC7 · 09/05/2018 20:31

@8DaysAWeek Oh I really really empathise. I recognise everything that you have just said. Have you tried therapy? Because I suffer with anxiety generally, I have had talking therapy (for a particular issue I was trying to work through) and also CBT. CBT has really helped. Don't get me wrong, it's not miraculous as I do still very much suffer with anxiety (hence the post) but it has helped somewhat eg I used to have frequent panic attacks and those have diminished x

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Nillynally · 09/05/2018 20:30

@Amz8898 my best friend got pregnant as soon as she came off the injection. She was told it'd be a while so she was a bit carefree and ended up with a very happy accident (now 4 years old)

@8DaysAWeek I sometimes struggle to sleep thinking about too much, however I find that listening to an audible audio book really takes my mind off worrying and I fall asleep within 10 minutes nowadays!

8DaysAWeek · 09/05/2018 20:26

I suffer badly with anxiety. It really affects my sleep and I keep reading how important sleep is when ttc but I get a few hours of broken sleep a night because I overthink everything. I think about stuff that happened years ago and is irrelevant now.

This overthinking has made me obsessive over ttc too. I track everything including cm, temping and opks.

I would just love for my brain so be able to switch off sometimes :(

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