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TTC after stillbirth

480 replies

toots123 · 09/05/2018 16:00

Just wondering if anyone else is ttc after a stillbirth and wanted to join me on this very daunting journey? Smile

OP posts:
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Namechangefailagain · 10/06/2018 22:44

Lilaclris

Thank you.

I don't have an exact date yet but it's going to be around August/September and then need to wait 2 months before ttc. I don't want to try in November as it was the month I conceived my daughter.

Good luck to you too. X

LilacIris · 10/06/2018 22:38

Do you have a date for your operation yet @Namechangefailagain? I really hope it is successful and you go on to have a smooth pregnancy.

Are you under a consultant already @Bumbers for this pregnancy? I was told to call the hospital and go for early scans from as soon as I get a positive test.

I hope things continue to go well for your friend @Lemonsherberts

2ww begins now. 🤞🏻 Not overly hopeful for this cycle.

Lemonsherberts · 10/06/2018 17:49

So sorry to hear what you have been through.
I just wanted to share with you that I work with someone who had what was considered a late miscarriage and was understandably heartbroken.
I know that her midwife has been incredibly supportive in various ways to help reduce her worrying.
So far she is having a healthy pregnancy, into her third trimester, and I’m really happy that things are going so well for her.
She can contact her midwife any time she feels worried and can go in to hear babies heartbeat which I think has been so reassuring for her.
I’m all sorry for what you have been through.
Sending you best wishes for your next pregnancy Flowers

Bumbers · 10/06/2018 17:42

@Miami81 I was terrified I wouldn't get pregnant again. I am now 6.5 weeks pregnant!

Still early days and don't believe I will end in a baby, but just trying to focus on the positives.

Namechangefailagain · 10/06/2018 17:31

Miami81

Yes I fear I will never been able to get pregnant again and fear what will happen if I do.

Unfortunately I can't start ttc again now. I need an operation before or risk losing another child. It means waiting til the end of the year before I can try. I keep thinking what if it doesn't happen, as each month goes past I worry that the chances are decreasing.

LilacIris · 10/06/2018 16:36

Oh @Miami81 don’t feel silly and it is a perfectly normal reaction. I’ve avoided alcohol since my last pregnancy and I know if/when I drink I will end up crying.

I’m leaving with a joint fear of never becoming pregnant again but also of being pregnant and how I will cope!

Miami81 · 09/06/2018 10:52

I went out with work girl friends last night. Got way too drunk and when they were having a perfectly normal conversation about being mom's to their kids I just started bawling crying at the table. Feel silly today.
Must learn not to drink too much in these situations.
Anyway hope everyone is having a nice weekend.
Does anyone else live with a constant fear of never getting pregnant again?

LilacIris · 08/06/2018 14:51

Thank you @Miami81 and I think Christmas will be difficult for all of as we should all have babies here enjoying it with us.

Miami81 · 08/06/2018 13:26

@39Suzy my cycles took 11 weeks to even come back at all, so must have o'ed around 9 weeks after delivery at 27 weeks. 7 wks is still early in terms of work stuff, just take it easy on yourself.
@LilacIris dates are a headmelt. Go easy on yourself. I keep thinking if we fall pregnant soon then we will be around 27 weeks at Christmas, which was dd's actual due date. So I am totally freaking myself out and then the dark part of my brain is like - fuck it my baby is dead already, how much harder can Christmas get anyway.

LilacIris · 08/06/2018 13:21

I will keep everything crossed for you @39Suzy. I don’t think I have ovulated yet but am still very apprehensive of trying this month as I don’t think want any dates clashing as I don’t potentially want a baby having the same birthday or anniversary of death.

I’m still off work as well and am probably going the take the entire year’s maternity leave. I hope meeting your colleagues goes well and you don’t feel under any pressure to return.

39Suzy · 08/06/2018 12:25

@lilaciris well i think i ovulated around the time i should have but, won't be too disappointed with a negative test as this is only month one....

Been trying to make contact with some if my work colleagues (still not back at work yet as is only 7 weeks since) so feels like i am making some progress but normal still feels a long way away.

How are you doing, have you ovulated do you know?

LilacIris · 07/06/2018 19:41

Welcome @Miami81 I am sorry for your loss and I understand your guilt. I’ve also had a couple of miscarriages so I think any future pregnancy I have will be full of anxiety throughout.

How is everyone?

39Suzy · 06/06/2018 09:24

@miami81 i could have written that, it has made me more determined too as i think we have a lot to give including a big bro that will always be looking down on us 😚

Miami81 · 06/06/2018 09:15

@39Suzy I am so glad to have found this group. The guilt is savage. At the moment I feel slightly excited about trying again and then the big wave of guilt washes that away.
But her very existence makes me more determined then ever to try and bring a baby home, she was all of us and perfect and wonderful and every day she makes me smile simply because she was there. I will never forget the look on DH face when we met her for the first time, it was just pure love. I have to try for him if not even for myself.
Anyway I am so glad to know that you guys are here and that you get it.

39Suzy · 06/06/2018 09:07

@nameschangefailagain @miami81 i am sorry for your losses.

Thanks @lilaciris you too.

@mrslcw i am terrified and have feelings of guilt. I know we want to try again but equally am worried if we get pregnant again, about the journey ahead to a baby coming home. I know it is normal and we will get a lot of support but at least we can all go through this together.

39Suzy · 06/06/2018 08:56

@toots123 yeah we did although not 100% if i have ovulated or not yet. Fingers crossed for you x

Miami81 · 05/06/2018 22:51

Hi there
Can I join? Very tentatively, in that we haven't agreed to ttc again yet (seems like we will from next cycle) but just wanted to say hello and I'm so sorry that you are all here.
We lost our beautiful baby girl at 27 wks last September. @DBoo - we also have a few mc's under our belts, I haven't quite made it to as many full weeks pregnant as you, I'm at 45 wks total in the last two years. It's so hard to think about going there again. I hope all is going well for you at the moment.
I have a large uterine septum, which everyone assures me has nothing to do with dd dying. Could be to do with the earlier miscarriages though. Due to risks of surgery (septum is massive) we have agreed to try one more time before having resection. I don't know if that is insane or not.
I'll be on 150mg aspirin (double dose), heparin injections, progesterone and 5mg folic acid all from 6 weeks.

Namechangefailagain · 05/06/2018 22:41

Sorry I ment Bumbers I'm on my mobile and it auto corrected Blush

Namechangefailagain · 05/06/2018 22:32

Bummers

I'm sorry for your loss. They think my loss was due to IC. It's so hard especially when you don't have answers. X

Namechangefailagain · 05/06/2018 22:30

Thank you.

MrsLCW
I am so sorry to hear you lost your daughter also. It's scary as hell. I lost my 3rd pregnancy at 7/8 weeks my daughter was my 4th pregnancy. They think my loss was due to IC im petrified of it happening again so looking at getting a TAC before I ttc. It's been 9 weeks tomorrow since I lost my girl.
I'm glad I came across this post as was looking for others who are in simular situations as I am so worried.

Good luck and hope you get you BFP soon x

Bumbers · 05/06/2018 22:25

I'm so sorry for your loss @namechangefailagain. I lost my twins at 23 weeks. No obvious reason why - i just went into labour. Hope you're doing ok.

MrsLCW · 05/06/2018 22:18

@Namechangefailagain so sorry you find yourself here. I had my little girl at 20 weeks in Feb too, this was our first month TTC. I won't lie it's bloody terrifying, but everyone here is so helpful and caring. Wishing you all the luck in the world!
Xxx

LilacIris · 05/06/2018 21:24

I’m sorry for your loss @Namechangefailagain and I hope all goes as well as it can under the circumstances when you see the specialist.

🤞🏻 for the 2ww Toots and Suzy. I think I have a few more days to go until I join you.

toots123 · 05/06/2018 21:07

Sorry for your loss @namechangefailagain

So awful we find ourselves here but nice that we aren't alone x

OP posts:
Namechangefailagain · 05/06/2018 20:56

Hello all. I wanted to say I'm sorry for your losses and good luck ttc.
I will be hopefully joining your journey soon. I lost my daughter at 20+2 after my waters went and my cervix dilated, they said they believe her little heart stopped during delivery. Technically not a stillbirth but that's how I see her.

I'm seeing a specialist regarding IC and fingers crossed I will be able to start ttc soon.

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