TTC after Pregnancy Loss Thread 20 - Fx for 2019 babies

@KnitKitty ahh I can totally understand your frustration!
But maybe you can try again tonight! Might not be too late!!! Sending hugs

@weasledee so sorry that it felt like a waste of time!!! I have mine coming up soon but i had been forewarned that the NHS RMCs are really limited so I have decided to go private.
But the good news from your side is that you seem healthy! So that's really positive. Did they advise you to take aspirin?
Dr Shehata told me to start taking it every evening 75mg- with dinner. It apparently helps with conception and can help prevent MC. He advises alll of his clients (feels more like a business ordeal than a medical one- not sure if that's good or bad) to take it. So maybe try that.
He also told me he gives all his clients progesterone- but I don't know what his protocol for that is- I will find out in a couple of weeks and let you know!

@weasledee- I’m on cd9 so am gearing up for fw!! Am trying to be as seductive as possible but have got emails flying around for our wedding, favour boxes, dress fittings etc etc😂😂 if me & dp have been in your situation away/staying with family we always had a crafty quickie in the bathroom!! Put the shower on it covers noise🙈 oh what we do for fw & a bfp🙈🙈 I do really hope you get your bfp 😘

Thank you sparkle. I really did feel like i wasted my time! Oh well, fertile week next week when I'm on holiday with the family! Typical

@weasledee I am so sorry that you had that experience at the rmc, & I think it is appalling that you have to have 3 back to back mc’s to have further investigation😡 I did have 3 mc’s back to back & I was investigated between August-November 17 (also had hystorocopy as they thought I had polyp in uterus) I had 2 lots of bloods done & a scan & also a consultation with the professor, every expert I’ve seen feels confident that I would be pregnant soon but I’m 7 months on & not even a whiff of a bfp!! I’ve have had 11 consecutive weeks of acupuncture & am also a quarter of way through another 7 week session, we have tried smep & also done opk’s (got a positive on cd11 & cd12 ) absolutely sorry tmi been at it like bunny rabbits you name it we’ve done it every other day, everyday, twice in 1 day etc etc!! I’ll be 40 in 6 months time so am feeling the pressure a bit🙈 The professor who performed hystoroscopy advises if I had another mc that me & dp should have genetic testing! Dp hasn’t been checked as I have had 3 spontaneous pregnancies they don’t seem to think there is any problems there but all 3 ended in mc, so we have mad the decision to try & chill out & have a fantastic wedding day on 16th June & if nothing has happened by July when we get back from minimoon then to seek medical advice for us both as it would have been a year since I was last pregnant. If we don’t have any joy then we are considering going down the private route, I really hope you have success soon @weasledee❤️

Hello to the new joiners and rant away those having bad days......

Well I have my first recurrent miscarriage clinic appointment, feel it was a waste of time! They did take blood but because my later miscarriages were not consecutive (losses at 7, 14 and 7 weeks, I had my 2nd DS in between) then she said I don't have any issues?! Advice I got: have sex - great advice, not!!! At 42 I was hoping for at least a scan to see if anything showed up? Feel deflated.

Hi ladies, sorry I've not been around for a while.

I've just been trying to catch up with everything. Commiserations to those who've had a visit from AF and/or had BFNs. Hugs for you. xxx

Welcome to the newbies. Sorry for your losses.

RedRobin Glad to see you're over here now. Best of luck with TTC.

Rant warning.

I'm not doing so great right now. Couldn't BD at all last week because we had visitors. They left on Saturday morning. We had a lovely day out with family and then in the evening OH fell asleep before I got in bed (during the time it took me to brush my teeth). We tried again yesterday, however he's all wound up about an interview he's having today and things just didn't happen. Feeling really, really frustrated and upset. Upset because I think we've missed the window this month and upset with OH because of not getting in the mood and upset with myself for feeling resentful towards him when it's not his fault that his body won't do what he wants. GARGH!

I had ovary pains yesterday and a lot of CM so I think it was ovulation day.

Just really struggling with everything at the moment. Still grieving, feeling the stress of TTC (and feeling the pressure to do it quickly because I have a history of endometriosis and only one ovary left so constantly have a lingering fear that I'll lose my other one in the same way before managing to get pregnant), and really not enjoying my job at the moment either mainly because I think I've just lost my joie de vivre. Just feeling like I want to run away somewhere alone and hide from the world for a while.

Rant over.

@RedRobin7 hi! And welcome - so sorry to hear of your loss! I feel I could have written the first half of your post- MMC discovered at 12 weeks after seeing nice heartbeat and everyone telling me I being paranoid! But somehow we knew...it's really a punch in the gut isn't it? So awful and I'm sorry you had to go through it.

With regards to your partner's fertility, I also worried about my OH's fertility and we went ahead and did the sperm comet test- direct on their website - it was very simple but were in London so not sure how the logistics work else where...anyway as well as doing the usual sperm count and stuff they also check the genetic health of the semen- as this can often play a large role in MCs. Thankfully his results came back very positive - and We were sooo relieved! Because then it takes the pressure off of him- I can't really rely on him to take his supplements and whatever else!
IF you don't wanna fork out on the test I have read that the remedy for "weak" or "damaged" sperm is for them to take q10coenzyme (or whatever it's called) and try and consume a lot of antioxidants to help him create healthy semen. (Pomegranates, kale, etc)
Like us women and our eggs- it takes 3 months for the semen to mature - so ideally they say we should all start taking our supplements 3 months before starting to TTC- but I think anytime we start is a good one!

Anyway sorry for the long post but I personally find these kind of remedies help my anxiety - as I feel we're actually doing something positive to help the process.

Hope everyone has at least an OK day! Sometimes we just have to take it one day at a time...but the suns shining and I'm off to yoga!
Lots of penguin huddles to all who need it
And high fives to those girls about to get on the FW JKS ride! 😂

@Pampl3m0usse Im so sorry for everything, I can't even begin to imagine how hard the last year has been with so much going on. I can only hope that it's onwards and upwards from here. Definitely a spot in the middle of the penguin huddle for you.

@Pampl3m0usse I recognise your name from the miscarriage board. Really sorry to hear about all you have gone through, you've had a very tough couple of years. Definitely here to hold your hand! I'm expecting AF today which will be my first after the ERPC. Who knows, though, my body has been very weird. Take care xx

Please can I join you ladies?
I found out that my baby had died at a scan on 10th May, my birthday, at about nine weeks. Cue two lots of medical management.... almost rushed in for an emergency ERPC as I had Mum's inquest to 200 miles away less than a week later.
The baby was due on 15th December, the first anniversary of my mum's suicide, so although not planned we were devastated as it seemed like my ray of light. I knew things weren't well as I'd had heavy bleeding beginning the day before my Gran's funeral / the burial of my Mum's ashes, also 200 miles away (you really couldn't make it up), and having had hypermesis with previous pregnancies my lack of symptoms were a concern. Despite this I saw the heartbeat twice and all seemed well.
Anyway it's been an appalling period in my life (my youngest almost died from sepsis a year and a bit ago, I was made redundant, got another job a long commute away which is very stresseful / difficult boss). But I think I'm ready to try again. Bleeding has pretty much stopped and have a very faint positive pregnancy test now; we're not intending to wait for AF as I'm not getting any younger.....
You all seem like a very supportive bunch; I think I might need a bit of a hand hold when my first AF arrives, but hopefully I can offer some support to others too....

DBoo Fx for you, that line is faint but definitely there.

Lilmum4 I'm really sorry. A chemical pregnancy is an early mc. Take really good care of yourself, you deserve a little pampering x
maverick79 welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss. When to ttc again is frequenty asked here, the consensus seems to be whenever you feel ready

RedRobin Sorry for your loss, I can't imagine hearing a heartbeat and losing the pregnancy so suddenly. I know I overthink everything, it's hard to restart ttc without doom and gloom and a little self blame (for me). I found mindfulness really helpful. It reminds me that thoughts are just thoughts. I can think the mcs were my fault, but my thoughts don't necessarily have any basis on reality. They are just thoughts. I found it easier in distancing myself from the non stop thinking about why/how; fertility issues are not logic or common sense based and so wont be solved in my head.

I'm definitely approaching af. I'm really emotional and bloated. It's a real bummer.

Thanks @boboelephant. Due af today according to flo and tomorrow according to ovia so see what happens. Tbh i think af is on its way and yesterday was probs a dodgey test but its not over till its over.

@maverick79 So sorry to hear of your loss. We also decided to try straight after my surgery (after bleeding had stopped and doctor said it was fine to do so). We were told that I am very fertile after the procedure so we didn't want to miss an opportunity to conceive, as my husband has a low sperm count. I also am yearning for a baby and take comfort from the fact we can conceive naturally and that hope is really helping me through my grief.

@RedRobin7 very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I totally sympathise, I also lost my first pregnancy and am ttc again. DH has an existing fertility issue so we were overjoyed to conceive naturally. The fall was quite hard when we lost the little one. I too feel your fear and anxiety but I cope with it by dreaming of baby number 2 in my arms. Please do reach out for professional help if it's getting too much, there is a lot of support out there. Take care of yourself.

Thanks for your positivity @Boboelephant but I think AF will arrive today. I've had a temp drop and if I count my ERPC as day 1, today should be my af. Even though I really wanted a new pregnancy realistically I don't think I ovulated and if I do get AF today at least I will know my body is back to normal and healthy.

Good luck to all you lovely ladies. None of my friends have had a miscarriage, they all have healthy pregnancies and babies (thankfully!) but it means I have no one to talk to who really understands. This board has brought me a lot of comfort x

Ooh not sure why that doubled up. Sorry all who got double messages!
Also @MrsLCW good luck!

@YellowDaffodils86 any more news?
@DaisyMay25 sorry hun. EDD's are tough. I hope you did something nice yesterday.
@DBoo fx for you. I hope that squinter becomes a nice strong line.
@Mistymeow fx for you too. I think you can fall that quickly again. You might be wearing that fertility cape! 🤞🤞
@@YellowDaffodils86 any more news?
@DaisyMay25 sorry hun. EDD's are tough. I hope you did something nice yesterday.
@DBoo fx for you. I hope that squinter becomes a nice strong line.
@Mistymeow fx for you too. I think you can fall that quickly again. You might be wearing that fertility cape! 🤞🤞
@maverick79 welcome and I'm so sorry for your losses. After my EP we waited 3 months as I had significant internal damage. It took 9 months to conceive again which sadly was a MMC. We started immediately but are still trying 6 months on. For us our DS is almost 3 and we are desparate to have another so that is why we didn't wait. Its been an unwelcome surprise how difficult it has been as with DS and the EP I fell first month trying. You have to do what feels right for you both.
@Lilimum4 I'm so so sorry. Climb into the middle 🐧🐧
@RedRobin7 welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so hard and impossible to forget but this is a wonderful group of ladies who are all just trying to be mums whether it be for the 1st or 8th time! I know what you mean. I look at it as ttc my second 'take home forever baby' whilst my two angel babies will be forever in my heart.
@ek78 DH jumping time!!

@RedRobin7 I'm so sorry for your loss. I had my MC confirmed at my 12 week scan too and it's such a switch from excitement to grief even when you have a gut feeling something's wrong. I'm glad that you're feeling ready to look forward. How you regard your lost baby is a very personal thing, but I also think of mine as my child and some people will find that weird. If you're open about your miscarriage then saying you're trying for another will be fine, if you're keeping it to yourself then perhaps something a little more vague rather than no. 1/2 would be better. I think we will all agree that future pregnancies are a wonderful yet terrifying prospect. With your husband having MH issues anyway then he will feel it every bit as much as you but you need to try to keep each other as optimistic as you can.

@ek78 FW is a go go right here too! We've DTD 3 times this weekend, now hubby is away til Thurs, which is annoying, and according to my OV app I should OV on Friday so will need to crack on (haha, maybe not the best choice of phrase) as soon as he's home Thurs night!
Good luck! X

Oh @lilimum how terrible. I hope today is a bit kinder. Permission granted i also dont knoe how to do a penguin

Welcome newbies you are in the right place.

I definitely worried about how i would cope with another pregnancy but your urge to be a mam will take over. That's how i have had to look at it you either want to be scared or you want to be a mam. I know want is hardly the right word but hopefully you get what i mean.

I had a horrendous mmc with my first pregnancy but in my subsequent ones the hospital have been great and given me what i wanted which makes me feel a bit more confident that even if something did go wrong it would never be as bad as that first time.

Welcome to the new people sorry you find yourselves here.
It would have been my 12 week scan today so feel a bit sad but hopefully at the same time as in the tww.

@maverick79 hello! I’ve had 2 mmcs this year and both times have started to try again pretty much straight away. I think this time I would have waited a bit if I hadnt been feeling the pressure of age (I’m nearly 40 and ttc #1)...

Welcome to the new people! (Though I’m sorry you find yourselves here of course) This is a really supportive place.
Anyone else in the fw at the moment? I just got my ‘flashy smiley’ a couple of days earlier than expected so (ahem..) all systems go...

@RedRobin7 welcome and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Finding out at your 12 week scan must have been devastating. You'll never forget about your first baby, have you thought of doing something as a memorial? I too lost my first pregnancy (and second) and found it helpful to mark it in some way. Whichever way you feel our want to deal with it you're in the right place - this is a strong, supportive group of ladies who have been so wonderful to me in the past few months. I hope you find being on here as helpful as I have

@RedRobin7 hello and I'm sorry for your loss. Please do not think you have to just forget your first baby none of us forget. I feel the same way you do hun. Desperate but also terrified at the same time. Your in a safe place to talk here. All the ladies here are amazing women and so supportive.

Hi ladies,

Can I join please? I've been stuck over on the miscarriage board since March but it's time to move forward!

I fell pregnant in January but found out in March at my 12 week scan that I'd had a MMC. We saw the baby and heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks. I had a bad feeling that something was wrong but everyone tried to convince me that I was being paranoid. I had the surgical management a week later. There were some complications but thankfully no further management required.

I have always known my purpose in life is to be a Mum. I don't actually know what the point is if I can't have a family. My husband shared the same view until he got ill and now suffers with anxiety. He was told that because his autoimmune disease went undiagnosed for too long, he may have fertility issues. Although we managed to get pregnant, he's now so anxious that there's something wrong with his sperm and that he's a let down. We have waited two cycles as i struggled to deal with the miscarriage but in two weeks time we will start TTC again. I'm terrified in case I don't get pregnant - I worry the surgery might have caused some damage. I'm also terrified I'm going to MC again. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to go through it again so soon but I desperately want a baby so have to try hard to be strong and just get on with it.

My husband keeps telling me to stop overthinking it all and just to wait and see what happens but as you all know, it's hard not to! Others also keep saying how I've only had the one MC and that there's every chance the next pregnancy will be successful but this doesn't help me either. I'm so anxious but I know I'll get support from you lovely ladies, just like I did on MN in my first 12 weeks and again after the MMC.

Sorry for the long post but just wanted to add that I find it so hard to say we are TTC #1 because to me that feels like I'm supposed to just forget about the first baby I carried - however brief. I'm sure I'm not alone though.