TTC after Pregnancy Loss Thread 20 - Fx for 2019 babies

@Martydog I'm so sorry xxx🐧

@Martydog
I am so so sad to read this. I don't really have any words. Just that im so sorry, and its unfair. Sending hugs and i hope it goes quickly and smoothly for you. 🙁

@Martydog this is it: Tips for coping with the practicalities of miscarriagewww.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/1344311-Tips-for-coping-with-the-practicalities-of-miscarriage

@Martydog I am so sorry to hear this
Did you take the pills by mouth?
For me I took them on a Monday evening but nothing really started until the Wednesday morning- then it was quite intense all that day. Bleeding then died down that night and spotted for a few days after.
There is a really good thread called the practicalities of miscarriage which I found really useful for managing it at home- I'll try and find the link-
Hope you have your partner with you and that you won't be alone for the next couple of days. Take care of yourself and try and relax as much as possible.

So sorry @Martydog. I had the medication twice but unfortunately it didn't work either time for me. They did say it could take up to 48 hours though when it does work.

Really sorry @martydog, that's really rubbish. Sending hugs x

@Martydog I’m so so sorry 😔 sending you lots of hugs 💕

So sorry to read this martydog x

@martydog so sorry to read this , it took around 3 hours or so for the bleeding to start for me. It was a lot of blood very quickly and quite painful , codeine and a hot water bottle helped me xx

@Martydog oh no! I'm so sorry to see you back here. That is really rubbish. I don't have any experience as I had erpc but just wanted to send hugs 🐧❤

Looking for some experience really. I took medicine about 3 hours ago to bring on a managed miscarriage as at my 7+5 scan there was no heartbeat. How long did it take for the bleeding to start and how bad was it. Sorry for tmi.

Thanks Cakelaur. Really interesting that your partner had a feeling about the third month. Maybe he has some weird mind-control over his sperm!?

I've got a mantra going of "it'll happen when it happens" whenever I find myself over-thinking things now. I had been wondering about starting OPKs and/or temping to try and figure out my cycles, however I didn't do this the first time round and feel like it might stress me out more than it helps me and make me overly obsessive. So the plan at the moment is to try and let nature take its course and trust that things will happen at the right time.

Thanks @boboelephant. Have dtd but nowhere near enough if fw was last week. The crazy has def hit me today! Going to put Friends on Netflix and hideaway until tomorrow!

@knitkitty same as others have said, my husband def doesn’t have the same urgency about getting preg again quickly. But I’m kind of glad as it balances things out a bit - don’t think I could cope if we were both going loopy with all this!

strawberrye yes, that totally makes sense. Carrying a pregnancy is such a special feeling and I don't think I even got my head around it before I lost it which makes me feel even more like I want that experience again to fully take it in.

HidCat It's nice that he's take the week off with you. I think it must be hard for them trying to find the right thing to do since they don't know what it's like to be the mummy in these situations.

Thanks Boboelephant & hayleyfx it makes me feel like I'm not crazy. (Or I am, but I'm in good company ).

@KnitKitty my other half said after the MC that he didn't want us to fall pregnant until 3 months so my body had time to recover. I was so angry at him. That he didn't want to fall pregnant straight away!! He said he just knew that it would be the third month we fell, to relax!! Of course I ignore him and did everything we could to fall. And weird enough he said to me on the third month, this is the month, and weirdly it was.
Anyway my point is, I think they guys have a lot of pressure on them to "fix" the situation. To make us whole again to make us happy again. I know emotionally I wasn't ready much before we fell again.
So you need to do what's right for both of you. 🤞🏻 it is your month

@Boboelephant thank you, hopefully! I’ll be relieved to just have a normal cycle this month!
@KnitKitty absolutely, I totally agree with the others - it’s a man thing I think. My OH was devastated after the MC and he wants me to be pregnant again so much however he doesn’t stress like I do. I want it to happen right away, I don’t want to wait, he has the mindset more of “it’ll happen when it happens” he still cares as much but he’s so much calmer than I am. I really want to be as calm as he is!!
@weasledee ooh fingers crossed for you 🤞

@sweetpea0318 sorry you think you might have missed your window. It only takes one though. Have you dtd in the last five days? At least if af arrives you'll be out of limbo and can move forward.
@hayleyfx fingers crossed it's back to normal this month! I was so relieved to ov on 16 not 22!
@weasledee fx for tomorrow.
@L1zz13 will be thinking of you tomorrow too.
@DBoo hopefully you'll get lucky!
@BabynameEdie I think it's a very good lucky sign. Means that going forward as soon as you get that dip you'll be ready for ov the next day!! Hopefully not for long but could be useful for future pregnancies too!
@KnitKitty yep I think it's a man thing. My DH desperately wants another one too but can remain super calm with a just let it happen attitude whilst I turn into a crazy person. He also isn't affected by milestones like me. I agree it's hormones! We attach when baby is in womb and dads don't until baby is born.

@Lilimum4 up to 6 days before period is due is the official line.

@KnitKitty my OH is happy to try again straight away but isn't as concerned about milestones as I am. He was worried about me not being ready but it's taken so long to get back to normal that we're both ready to get back on it. I also want to be pregnant again by my due date but I've taken 2 weeks of annual leave around it just in case so hubby took a week off as well. He hAs said he's gutted at losing the baby but he's definitely not as affected by it as I am. I think it's partly hormones for us tbh and they just can't grasp that side of it.

@KnitKitty I know exactly what you mean and I think its really common for women to get frustrated or upset at our partners when they don't seem to "get it" after miscarriage. I guess at the end of the day it was us that was carrying the baby and then lost it - I think especially in the earlier stages of pregnancy the woman has a deeper connection with the baby, therefore feelings and emotions regarding it are a lot more intense! Also, although both DH and I desperately want a baby together, I don't think he understands the very basic desire that I have to carry a pregnancy. Not sure if that makes sense?

Hi all, hope you're all having a good day. Anyone testing soon?

Just a question RE your partners' attitudes to TTC after MC...
What are your OH's opinions on the matter?

Only asking because I mentioned today that I wanted to be pregnant before my due date would have been (October) because I can see myself feeling less upset if I have a new pregnancy to look forward to. My partner said he doesn't want to rush anything. He said he'd be happy if I got pregnant straight away but if it doesn't happen that's fine too. I think his way of thinking is a healthy attitude to have and I'm touched he's concerned about allowing my body to heal and everything, but I feel slightly frustrated as well that he doesn't seem to feel or understand the need I do to get pregnant again.

Anyone else have a partner who doesn't really 'get it'?

I know everything will happen when it happens and I am making every effort to be chill and relax about the whole thing because I know stressing is the worst thing to do, but I just feel like my partner's main concern about the MC was for my health; and while that's lovely, I don't think he understands how I feel about losing a baby and how it affects my readiness for a successful pregnancy.

Yes babyedie I'm gonna crack open a frer tomorrow morning, just ordered 2 more from amazon

According to flo I'm 5days post O @BabynameEdie I guess I don't count tho lol

@L1zz13 fingers crossed for your results, it's so hard this waiting game isn't it.
And to you @weasledee 🤞🤞 I'm 5dpo - too early to test?! 😂 I'll be right there with you testing at 9dpo don't worry. Try again tomorrow?!

Thanks @Cakelaur I've never really noticed the big dip before O but just looked back and the cycle I got pregnant also had that dip so maybe it's just my pattern. Hope it's not a bad thing 😬😩

So I'm now 5dpo and have such tingly sore boobs and lump in tummy kinda feel. Have had it so many times before that I think like you @Boboelephant they aren't nec pregnancy symptoms but simply the symptoms I seem to get after ovulation post MC. Anyone else 5dpo?

@HidCat how early can they be used