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Original poster

Anyone going for a third? Whats your age gap?

58 replies

Mamabear12 · 19/04/2018 10:27

I have two dc, 20 months apart and age 4 and 6. I have been debating to have a third since my son was 12 months. Actually, I was talking about having a third while I was pushing him out :) The midwife said she never seen that before! Lol. But after having two dc, I realised it was a lot more work then I thought. However, it has been on my mind and whenever I was ready, my husband was not. And then when he finally was, I got cold feet. And now finally he has agreed again to try, so I think we will go for it. Am I crazy? My two dc are finally at a place where they are independent and it has gotten easy. However, I am worried if I do not go for it, I will regret it later. I am 35, so now is the time if we go for it. It is on my mind every day literally for the last year.

OP posts:
Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 24/04/2018 19:12

May I join? I’ve just got my bfp a few days ago and conceived my 3rd. My other children will be 5 and 11 so big age gaps.

EverythingNow · 24/04/2018 19:06

@L1zz13 no we’ve had no success, although I’ve had crazy line eye/wishful thinking.

Dc 1 was unplanned.
Dc 2 took 5 or 6months ttc
Dc3 was the only time we dtd after dc2.

I also had a chemical 2 years ago when we were using condoms so I was really surprised it hasn’t happened but I guess I’m older now.

L1zz13 · 24/04/2018 18:36

@EverythingNow have you had any success?
I fell pg first time. Sadly it was not to be.
Waiting to try again. Not sure I could go as long as you. I doubt my husband would want to either.

EverythingNow · 24/04/2018 18:29

May I join too? I’m ttc#4 (although it’s #3 with DH)

I’m 38 (39 in a few months) with DC aged 17,8&7. We are on cycle 11 now.

SoyDora · 24/04/2018 17:56

I have 2 DD’s with a 20 month gap (they’re 4.5 and 2.9 now) and have just had my BFP for number 3! So they’ll be 5 and 3 when this one is born (all being well).
We always knew we wanted three but had a really tough time when our first 2 were younger (2 horrific sleepers) so have only just felt ready for number 3. Started trying in Feb!

L1zz13 · 24/04/2018 17:27

@MrsAmelia hi we're in the same boat. Dreading turning 40! Ovaries are screaming at me!
I'm recovering from a miscarriage so will hopefully be able to try again. Not sure how long I'll try for tho.

NoseringGirl · 24/04/2018 16:18

@MrsAmelia I'm 35 so definitely heading into my upper 30s. My Dad called me middle aged the other day middle aged!

MrsAmelia · 24/04/2018 14:27

Oh so happy to see this thread exists! May I join, please?

I'm 39 and have two children already. DD1 is 3 and DD2 is 1. I'm dead set to try for a third, though my husband is less keen just because we are so sleep deprived. I would rather get the baby years behind me (physically so to speak) as biologically my window is closing quickly.

I'll be so happy to check in on this thread and see how everyone is getting on.

Is anyone in their upper 30s or am I the ancient one here Grin?

x

FourForYouGlenCoco · 21/04/2018 22:52

Just popping on here to wish you all good luck! My DC3 is 10 days old, I have a 5.5yo and a 21 month old too. No regrets whatsoever - am under no illusions that it’s going to be bloody hard work, but she really has completed the family. Pregnancy was tough but she’s utterly perfect and totally worth it. Won’t lie though, I’m very glad I never have to do the pregnancy thing ever again Grin but very best of luck to all you ttc-ers Flowers

Schoolworrier · 21/04/2018 19:26

Me too! My DD is 4 and DS 7 months. I'm 40 this year and seriously considering ttc#3 after the summer Grin

MrsY87 · 21/04/2018 19:20

We are ttc #3...DD is 3.5 and DS is 7m, we've not used any contraception since DS was born and have just finished my 2nd period since stopping bf. DD was conceived 1st cycle and DS took 10 cycles and 2mc so no idea how long it will take this time! I've always wanted 3 and DH has been on the fence about it but we decided if we were going to we would just try and have no3 as close to DS as possible...fx we get that!

loulalou · 21/04/2018 17:26

We're currently trying for #3, we have a 7 and 4 year old.
I've been changing my mind weather to have a third or not for around two years but since Christmas I've made the decision to go for it so we've been trying since January. Really hoping it will happen soon 🤞

PotteringAlong · 21/04/2018 10:50

I have 3! They’re 6, 3 and 1.

I am definitely not trying for a 4th Grin

holdmybeer · 21/04/2018 10:45

We're ttc #3, ds's are 6 and 2, I'm 37 and have been desperate for another for some time but the timing has always been out.

I had a wobble this week as ds2 refused to go in the pram for the school run ds1 came out and loaded me up with all his stuff and moaned all the way to the car that he was too hot meanwhile ds2 made a run for it Blush I got back to the car and cried. What am I thinking wanting another?!!

NoseringGirl · 21/04/2018 10:37

We're about to start trying for our third baby. DS1 is 4 and DS2 is 15 months. Both took nearly 18 months to conceive so I don't imagine it'll happen quickly!

L1zz13 · 21/04/2018 09:11

I'm trying for #4 can I join?
My children are 17 14 and 6.
I'm turning 40 this yr.

Hermagsjesty · 20/04/2018 22:29

We’ve just started trying for number 3! My eldest are 6 and 4. It’s been quite a rocky road to get to this point... I always wanted 3 but I fell unexpectedly pregnant when my youngest was 1 (and eldest was 3) and after much heart ache, we terminated the pregnancy. At the time, our thinking was very much that it wasn’t the right time for another baby so soon but maybe one day it would be... Afterwards, I regretted the decision. I was completely grief stricken. My DH on the other hand started to feel that maybe our family was complete with 2... We had a lot of counselling and I’d started to reconcile to the fact that my DH might never be sure about trying again... and then a couple of months ago he suggested going for it. I think he sees our kids getting older and knows he’s not ready for that time in our lives to be over (and also that the difficult phases do pass). He’s also a much calmer and more confident Dad. I’m so excited (and a bit terrified!) Hoping the larger age gaps will actually work out to be a good thing.

Oly5 · 20/04/2018 22:19

Had my third in december, my other two kids are 5&4. It’s wonderful.. crazy but wonderful. If you want another, go for it!

caribari72 · 20/04/2018 22:14

I had 2 DDs 20 months apart.

Having a second baby was the biggest shock ever - I was so smug and thought I had it "cracked"! ( how hard can it be???) omg - whipped right down to size!

Fast forward 2 years and I had a HUGE hormone attack I.e. felt ready for a third!

Everyone tried to talk me out of it because I'd struggled so much after dd2.

I braced myself and forged ahead, listening to my heart (and my hormones)

With DD1 aged 4 and DD2 aged just 3, along came DS!
(For me) BEST. DECISION. EVER!

If your heart and your DP are supporting you, it's right!

Fridasfridgefreezer · 20/04/2018 22:04

17 months between first two, and there will be 3 years and 5 months between 2 and 3. I needed a larger gap this time around and wanted at least one child in school. (Eldest is September baby).

Original poster
Mamabear12 · 20/04/2018 21:48

Racheyg, I never thought my DH would be ready. It really is quite a shock. We always talked about a third, but he was never ready...hence the 4 and 6 year old. He always said in another two years. In fact, he was saying that all the way until recently. Has your partner always been adamant for two only? Or did he ever mention more? My DH always agreed for 3 and maybe a 4th, but then kept saying two more years. I always thought maybe he only wanted two, but didn't have the heart to tell me. However, maybe he just wanted to feel ready. I think also feeling ready can come and go. When we bought our house a year ago, my dh felt ready, but I suddenly was not ready.

OP posts:
Racheyg · 20/04/2018 14:48

mama I'm sure 2 weeks won't change dh mind.

mrs I wish my oh felt like that he really doesn't want a third at all. Sad

Original poster
Mamabear12 · 20/04/2018 10:44

MrsBrown28, many people have told me about this :) My mom included, as she wishes she had gone ahead with more children. I just hope my husband is still on board when its time to try in a few weeks!

OP posts:
MrsBrown28 · 20/04/2018 04:53

Would absolutely love a 3rd my husband however is against it.
My way of thinking is you could regret not having tried for a third but you would never regret having a child once they was here

lauryloo · 19/04/2018 21:26

I’d love a third. I have a 4 and a 2 year old. 2 yr old has additional needs so that’s what puts me off.