STOP! Yammer time. 🍠

@pinkemi don’t be so hard on yourself- TTC is a total mind fuck. It messes with your head so much. Not to mention your relationship and sex life. I’ve kept both Clue and Ovia but am trying to be far less obsessed with entering all my data, to try and help me chill out a bit. Last couple of months I’ve been a bit better, but only because I’ve kind of lost all hope of seeing a bfp (20 something cycles in). 💐

Pinkemi I get that too. We’ve had months where we’ve had sex every day in FW, months where we’ve done every other day, some months we haven’t scheduled sex because we were trying to be relaxed and so just had sex when we felt like it. Nothing has worked for us and we haven’t had even a sniff of a bfp in 19 months. It’s so frustrating isn’t it

@bubblegum89 I just couldnt bring myself to delete them! I use Clue as a reminder for when AF is due.. mainly so I dont end up ruining knickers! I then have the Femometer app which I was using to track my BBT in the mornings. Didn't want to delete it an lose the history incase I needed it for.. i dunno.. proof to the doctor or something. And then Ovia.. was the one I checked this morning because its really quick and easy to see what date you are on! face palm I guess in reality I could delete this one.. (Hovers over the app) WHY CANT I DO IT!? face palm again

I know its sad.. but Im beginning to think that I wont ever get pregnant.

We have had months were we had sex like everyday in my fertile period... (although I was also drinking a lot back then as it was our honeymoon) And then months where we carefully plan to have sex every other day.. and still.. I have NEVER had a BFP. always stark white bloody pregnancy tests... and the end of this cycle will be a year of TTC. (I know I shouldnt complain because most of you have been trying for longer.. but it just seem so bloody unfair!) And try as I must.. i cant seem to lose weight. Infact i seem to be bloody putting it on.

WHY CANT I GET MY ASS IN GEAR AND MY HEAD IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND?!

Pinkemi that’s why I haven’t had apps for about the last 6 months lol. But if you usually ovulate today and you had sex on Sunday then you should still be covered.

I’m on CD7 and having lots of watery fertile cm so I’ve fully decided that I have no idea how my body works and after 18 previous months of careful monitoring, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no such thing as normal. If I’d got fp on time, I would be cd10 today which is when I normally start getting a bit of fertile cm so I’m assuming that we’ve just decided to keep my cycles going as normal but just ignoring the glitch in the middle. At least this cycle will be a shorter one

Ah bum! Why didn't I delete my apps!

Just (stupidly) went sod it.. and checked what day I am on. Day 12. The day I normally ovulate (roughly.) We didn't have sex last night (I was knackered) and I'm away from DH tonight. Which will mean we will miss it.. cries we had sex sunday..

Ffs I shouldn't have checked.

@WonkyDonk87. The same thing happens to us! We are ok until about cd21 ish and then we start to flag :-( The idea of ovulating on or near cd14 is like bliss! I got a bit bleary eyed telling DH lol "Do you know what it will feel like to ovulate mid cycle??".

Poor DH! It comes to something when you're just as excited over the idea of ovulating as you would be of getting a bfp I do get fertile looking cm but I think it goes on for too long, I had it for 7 ish days this cycle, so it's probably just random cm!!

No bloody idea! But I have literally nothing else to put my faith in at the moment. Can't go back to the GP until September. Going to try temping on the next cycle to try to self-diagnose the issue but fuck knows when that will start. I make guesses at ovulation by cm/spotting, but then when I pass the date I expected FP then every day stretches on making me feel angry and despondent. Doesn't help we've usually tailed off shagging by this point and then I think I ovulated late and then missed it.

@WonkyDonk87. I'm hoping it will give my lazy ovaries a kick up the arse! I'm not expecting miracles, especially with DH's morphology but at least it will feel like we finally have some kind of chance.

How can they bring it on? Do they put the needles in certain places? I had it after a bad car accident at 14, my skin is hypersensitive so I found it a very unpleasant experience :-(

Ooh exciting! My friend got upduffed on the first cycle of that. I was very pleased for and insanely jealous of her My acupuncturist said if it's not here by next week she'll adapt the treatment to try and 'bring it on'. That's pretty much the only hope I have atm. Fucking useless CCG

@WonkyDonk87. I get yellow cm a few days before my period sometimes. I never get sore boobs though - unless I'm pregnant :-( I'm hoping mine isn't too far away as I'm starting clomid next cycle!

Day 36 for me. Sore massive boobs, yellowy cm, major grumps. Could be tomorrow or could be in 3 months. Ugh.

@WonkyDonk87 Ha! That's like mine! Stupid pcos. I'm day 25 now so it could arrive tomorrow or in two weeks time!!

@starwishing and @MichaelKnightsCar I totally know what you mean about life being on hold. I have no reason to stay working there it's only stat mat leave!!!! Argh

@starwishing dont think youre weird I am a psychic as well....and into all that kind of stuff!

@starwishing Can you ask your medium when my period is going to arrive? No bloody sign of it FFS, and I've got no idea

@MichaelKnightsCar I've had my life on hold for at least a year in The hope of "well we will have a baby soon" and then I decided last week to just get on with it and I've applied for new jobs, taken the liberty of booking a holiday and put all my baby stuff up for sale. If that invokes the power of Sod's law... so be it!

I've called my gp today and she explained over the phone that my consultant won't treat me now but I can still see him if I go private and it might move things along a bit quicker.

Don't laugh anyone but I'm going to see my spiritualist medium on Thursday and see what she says. She told me I was pregnant at about 1 week past conception and a hpt didn't pick it up till 8 weeks!

@MichaelKnightsCar you sound so much like me... in terms of the hating work but only staying for the maternity pay.

@Owlpatrol.

I go away for one weekend and look what happens!

Congrats!

I'm sorry everyone is having a shit time right now.
@starwishing I can't imagine how you're feeling, I'm so sorry

I feel like my life is bottle necked and stacking up behind our TTC.
We want to move house and move somewhere more rural but we don't want to invade we have to use some of our savings for IVF.
We want to move to a different part of the country but don't want to because of the above but also if we start down fertility treatment then we need the consistency of being at the same place.
I want to change jobs (to move counties!) but don't want to risk losing the maternity benefits in my current place.
I've been diagnosed with a medical condition that has no cure but has treatment but can't start treatment if TTC

My whole fucking life is stacking up behind my inability to conceive.
Maybe it's the universe telling me to stop bothering and move on

Argh I'm sorry everyone's having a rotten time today and things aren't looking up yet. I haven't got a moment to breathe today let along thinking about af coming this week. Let's face it, it's inevitable it'll come I'm just so angry at the world at the moment. No pregnancy, hating work, can't get ivf I'm literally thinking of jacking everything in and going on a round the world trip or something (yeah right if I could afford that!) Life just sucks so much and whilst having a baby wouldn't solve everything it would at least give me something to live for. Meh!

Congrats to the BFP that have appeared over the weekend. Very happy for you! :)

@Bubblegum89 With regards to sex drive going.. Yes.. I had this last month. I let TTC take over my life so much that I just didnt want to do it. . It became too much of a chore (which sounds awful.) Thats why this month, we are just DTD when we feel like it to try and get romance back into the relationship.

@Starwishing.. Sorry to hear your news!

So my month of not stressing about TTC seems to be going okay... ish. I feels nice to not have to worry about what day I am on (although I find myself trying to work it out sometimes) and not having to take my temp in the morning is nice (although I should go to bed earlier.)

Had friends over sat and had a few drinks. Stressed about it a little bit.. then thought what the hell. 3 drinks is not going to make that much of a difference.. ive had months of not drinking and no sign of a bfp.. so...

the main thing i need to work on is my weight! I cant seem to get my head in to gear.. I have 3 stone to lose if I ever want to have help from the NHS..

We had some private fertility tests done in Jan.. and they basically said if i wasnt pregnant by 6 months time.. then I MUST NOT delay and have IVF straight away. I dunno if they are just saying that because they are a private clinic and want the money. :-/ But July will be our cut off point.. its getting very close now. :(

Catching up after the weekend and Sooz I'm so happy for you! All the fingers and toes crossed.

Star I'm sorry you've had bad news. It must be so hard to process. As your friend said though if you're still getting regular positive OPKs and periods hopefully you are still ovulating and there's a chance. Will be thinking of you.

Had a GP appointment this morning that went a little like "well.... it's been 13 months so I could refer you to the fertility clinic, but I think it would make you more stressed so just relax and come back in 3-6 months"
Yeah, really easy to relax when BFPs haven't been forthcoming and then getting pregnant isn't even the end game because you've got a genetic condition that means 50% of your eggs are duff. Cheers Doc .

@Chooklass he's partially right. I had some problems with eating disorders when young and he's seen that causes early menopause. I'd had my DS since though so thought I'd got away with it. I didn't realise menopause might be genetic. My mum is 63 and hasn't started it yet and she had my youngest sister at 48 naturally (by accident). Actually everyone in my family seems to have babies easily and into quite an old age. My auntie is 49 and pregnant (50 by the time they're born).

The reason he says to lose weight is because google said so. It says I have a lack of progesterone too that he has said means I should lose weight?! I am heavier than when I had my son but I was also bulimic then too so that doesn't count.

I've taken the tact of ignoring it. I'm going to just try again and eat super healthy and exercise more.

@starwishing 35 is young (I'm 36!) and 26 day cycle is well within the normal range. I'm no expert, but think if you are getting FP regularly then you still definitely have a chance.

If I'm reading your last message correctly it sounds like your DP suggested you must have done something wrong to cause this? Apologies if I misread that, but if I haven't - that's not on! I'm sure being a healthy weight and eating healthily benefits everyone, but going through early menopause must be a genetic issue? This is not your fault! I wish I could help in some way - I can't imagine how distressing your diagnosis must be.

@star sorry to hear your news, I hope you take a few days to process and think about your options.

@si1ver good luck with first injections- so exciting and scary!