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Conception

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Original poster

Does anyone actually know in person someone who has conceived naturally at 45?

31 replies

Idontknowwhatithink · 12/04/2018 14:02

I'm 45, have two children aged 3 and 18 months (both conceived naturally when I was 41 and 42) and lets just say we had an irresponsible moment shortly after my last period and now I'm a few days late and too scared to test!

I'm having a HUGE wobble!

I keep telling myself it is very very unlikely because it was very early on in my cycle and chances of conceiving are very very small at 45.

I know I should just find out but haven't got the courage to atm. If I took a test and it was negative it would put my mind at ease but if it's not....oh my gosh.

OP posts:
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SallyOMalley · 14/04/2018 20:32

Oh yes - I felt it was unreal too. I couldn't believe it at my age!

What surprised me when I was getting my head around it all was how complicated it all seemed. Nothing about it was black and white. I felt guilt and sadness and yet knew what decision I felt I needed to make. It's so difficult to talk about it too - almost taboo even. My immediate family knows, but no one else.

Go easy on yourselves and take time Flowers

Original poster
Idontknowwhatithink · 14/04/2018 20:05

Thank you everyone, your kindness and understanding has made me cry x

It's really starting to sink in now and I can't stop crying, it all feels so unreal. I'm so annoyed at myself, we've been so stupid and irresponsible. I never imagined I would end up in this position.

OP posts:
Hypermice · 14/04/2018 14:17

Gosh. Take your time to let it sink in and don’t feel too guilty - contraceptive failure and moments of madness happen. We are all human.

gillybeanz · 14/04/2018 14:00

I'm sorry it's not the result you wanted.
Lots of women become pg at this age, some because of the menopause.
It happened to me, but I was early menopause at 37, periods all over the place and I doubted fertility, but it happened.
Ditto to the sweet tea, if you haven't already Thanks

SallyOMalley · 14/04/2018 13:59

OP, I was in your shoes at the age of 45. It was an utter surprise, and not quite the one I wanted. Good luck with whatever you decide Flowers

Onceuponatimethen · 14/04/2018 13:58

Flowers op - I can imagine it’s quite a shock

My friend conceived naturally first time at 46 and another at 47

JennyHolzersGhost · 14/04/2018 13:57

Sorry to hear that OP. I hope you can reach a decision you are comfortable with. Flowers

BettyBaggins · 14/04/2018 13:55

Brew Sweet tea. Let the news sink in op.

areyoubeingserviced · 14/04/2018 13:54

My grandmother conceived naturally at fifty.
I have an ‘uncle’ who is the same age as me

ScreamingValenta · 14/04/2018 13:52

I'm sorry it wasn't the result you wanted. I hope you soon feel calmer and that everything will work out OK for you.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 14/04/2018 13:51

Good luck with whatever you decide, @Idontknowwhatithink Thanks

Original poster
Idontknowwhatithink · 14/04/2018 13:43

Just updating as you were all kind enough to respond.

I took a test and it is positive. I'm beyond shocked and feel quite numb atm, I can't believe I'm accidentally pregnant at 45. I read the chances of conceiving at 45 when 'actively trying' were less than 1%! This really wasn't in our plans. We both can't believe it and now feel so annoyed at ourselves for allowing this to happen. There really is no excuse when you're 45. I just can't believe one reckless moment immediately after my period and I'm pregnant. I have a very regular 25-28 day cycle.

My head is spinning atm.

OP posts:
IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 13/04/2018 20:51

I know someone who had her 3rd child at 44. I vaguely remember hearing that women can have a surge in fertility before menopause, which might explain late pregnancies if it's true.
Hope you get the result you want x

ScreamingValenta · 13/04/2018 20:44

I know a colleague who did - she had two children at 41 and 45 - both healthy and straightforward pregnancies AFAIK. She hadn't had any children before that.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 13/04/2018 20:43

After a mmc at 45 my gp told me I wouldn't carry a baby to term at my age anyway.

nogooddeedgoesunpunished · 13/04/2018 20:41

Me at 45 after years of unexplained infertility. My GP told me it wasn't that unusual and she had a 48 year old it had happened to. Apparently there can sometimes be a surge in fertility as you approach menopause years. Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear but distinctly possible you're pregnant.

Hypermice · 13/04/2018 20:27

It’s not that rare indeed. My midwife was VERY keen on lecturing me about contraception - she says she sees an awful lot of ‘bonus third children’ in women in their early to mid forties who have assumed things are over reproductively.

A hand hold for the test anyway, Flowers

Original poster
Idontknowwhatithink · 13/04/2018 20:12

Thank you so much everyone for responding.

It's obviously not as 'rare' as I thought it would be. I was told by my consultant and midwife that I was 'lucky' to have conceived at 41 and 42 so I really did think the odds at 45 were stacked against you and extremely unlikely.

I've gone so far as to buy a pregnancy test but I can't being myself to do it. I'm so annoyed I've put myself in this position.

I will test, I know I have to and update.

Thanks again everyone x

OP posts:
Goldiehawnoverboard · 13/04/2018 08:14

Yes, me at 45 after not using contraception for 8 years due to husband’s fertility issues. Wasn’t actively trying and had previously had IVF at 40. Complete bolt out of the blue as we were adopting at the time. Sadly miscarried.
My grandmother had my mum at 45 (no such thing as ivf in those days).

Redrosebelle · 13/04/2018 08:08

My friend conceived in one month at 42 and she has endometriosis! Test and put your mind at rest..

RedHairing · 13/04/2018 08:06

Me, at 46. DS was born 10 days before my 47th birthday Smile

PontypandyPioneer · 13/04/2018 08:03

Yes. A friend of mine conceived her first at 45 and second at 47. Both planned. Test and let us know!

Checkedwoolblanket · 13/04/2018 08:00

I did, it wasn’t planned. I miscarried though, but I have a history of recurrent miscarriages and need medication before conception for a fighting chance.

Todayissunny · 13/04/2018 08:00

Yes. She was trying for ages for first child. Considerd ivf because it wasn't happening. Baby is about 8 months old now.

Attie17 · 13/04/2018 07:57

Probably not what you want to hear, but several family members conceived aged 46-48 - all happy accidents, at least now!

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