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Conception

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Original poster

Living a lie

37 replies

LiveInCompanion · 07/04/2018 19:27

For nearly 3 years my husband and I have been supposedly trying for a baby. In all that time we’ve had sex perhaps 10 times. He insists he wants a baby, that he loves me, that he fancies me etc.

I’m at the end of my tether. I feel lied to and cheated. I know if I raise the subject he will cry and get upset and insist nothing is wrong.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
LiveInCompanion · 07/04/2018 23:37

His attention and energy go into work and his phone. He’s just happy with companionship and a live in housekeeper.

OP posts:
Oneapenny · 07/04/2018 23:20

What do you think the actual issue is ie why aren’t you having more sex?

Original poster
LiveInCompanion · 07/04/2018 23:18

I’m probably too old to conceive naturally. Very isolated as I feel telling friends would be a betrayal to him but I’m so tired of having to reply to their enquiries with lies and shrugs. I want to scream and say can’t get pregnant if you haven’t had sex this year! He’d say we just haven’t been lucky yet and would give me a quick hug. He genuinely believes we are ‘trying’ 🤬

OP posts:
MaGratgarlik1983 · 07/04/2018 22:28

Hope you're OK. Totally rubbish!

Original poster
LiveInCompanion · 07/04/2018 20:57

I guess I think counselling would just delay things; as I said he'd just say all the right things but I guess I ultimately don't believe he will change and I've run out of energy to console him when he protests how hurt he feels.

I think age is a factor and he knew at 42 time mattered and I just feel betrayed

Sorry to vent

OP posts:
Owlpatrol · 07/04/2018 20:37

I totally understand what you mean. I left my ex just as we were deciding to start ttcing and not that this should effect your opinion but honestly it was the best thing I did. We had other problems just then babies but my resentment towards him grew and grew until I decided to leave. Sorry your going through this sending big hugs xx

Whatevszz · 07/04/2018 20:21

You might get some more responses on Relationships OP

Whatevszz · 07/04/2018 20:21

Sorry x post

Whatevszz · 07/04/2018 20:20

That must be so hard for you. Do you think it's worth cutting your losses? Or would couple counselling maybe shed some light?

Original poster
LiveInCompanion · 07/04/2018 20:00

No real money or stress worries. I’m finding it harder to excuse his behaviour; he’s just completely self absorbed hence my name on here.

I doubt he’d go to counselling and would say all the right things (which is what he does every time I raise the issue).

I don’t know if I can overcome my resentment towards him much longer

OP posts:
physicskate · 07/04/2018 19:40

Couples counselling? Ask how he would feel/ what he would think of you looked at donor sperm?

Sounds like this is a massive relationship issue... you have my complete sympathies...

Are you sure you want to continue the relationship?

MaGratgarlik1983 · 07/04/2018 19:38

That sounds rough. My DH took a couple of years to decide to have DS and we talked about having two. DS is now 2.5 and he's still not keen on ttc. It's totally rubbish. Maybe your DH like mine is worried about money or stress but he should be honest with you. I think men are pretty good at procrastinating and then it all being our fault! I hope you get answers soon, I know how you feel x