TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 18: Christmas cake for Christmas babies

@matchesmalone what a lovely thing for you to post. It's so difficult for you guys as all the focus is on us woman. You're more than welcome on here it's nice to hear a man's point of view !!! Congrats on the bfp

Congratulations to you both @matchesmalone. Hoping everything goes smoothly this time. 🤞

Hi

Have been lurking on the TTC after pregnancy loss thread and the TWW one since the start of the year.

After discussing deciding to try for a child at the end last year, my girlfriend fell pregnant at the first attempt, we came home from holiday, she tested, pregnant. This was early January. Towards the end of the month, she messaged me at work that she was bleeding, we hadn't told anyone art this point but my boss used to be a midwife so I got her to speak to the other half and we ended up at the hospital. They thought it was ectopic but it wasn't just a chemical.

Next few weeks were tough, but we resolved to keep trying, nothing last month, but today she's taken a test and got two pink lines, she's 3/4 days late.

My reason for posting is that reading these threads has been a great help to me since December and I thought it only right to share, since I've received so much.

If any of you have questions about what it's all like from the mans point of view, TTC, TWW, miscarriage etc I'll try answer any questions.

If as a man I'm not meant to be in here, feel free to delete this post.

Thanks again

@DaisyMay thank you! Yeah the hardest part is not knowing, in my last pregnancy my lines got dark so quickly so this is worrying me a bit but keeping everything crossed 🤞🏼 FX for you too when you test next Friday! Hopefully there are more BFP’s still to come this month

@hayleyfx I see something on both too, fx you get some nice dark lines soon, sorry it seems to be get dragged out for you, limbo must be tough.
I'll be joining in on poas Friday next week!

Hi @boboelephant AF due today/tomorrow. I’ve had mild cramps off and on today but I have had noticeable watery whitish CM (sorry TMI) today, which for me is odd, as usually I’m fairly dry up to AF. So of course I’m starting to getting optimistic again that maybe I ovulated later than I originally thought, but it’s silly of me as every cycle has been different since mc so I just need to calm down and wait for AF. It really was a crystal clear white BFN on Wednesday! How are you getting on? What stage are you at?

@Bobo thank you! Going to sit on my hands and not allow myself to test 😂 yeah very true, I love living here... despite it being bloody freezing 24/7! 🤣

@Claire138 how are you? Did af show?

@zarala love that you're on board with POAS Friday!! 🤣🤣 @cakelaur did say our crazy would rub off on you!! 😂

@hayleyfx I woould wait until Sunday morning because then if it is the day af is due you won't need a frer. A cheapie should do the trick. Sorry you're going through this. It must be so confusing!! On a positive note, you live in such a beautiful area. We went up there for Christmas and it was stunning. DS got to meet wild reindeer on Xmas eve- he was in awe!

@TheDinosaurRoars it really is! Thank you, keeping everything crossed

Ah, yes, I can imagine that living in the Scottish Highlands makes next day delivery difficult. I hope you get your test and BFP very soon.

@TheDinosaurRoars thank you! I had a look but nowhere will do next day delivery, I live in the Scottish highlands so delivery to here is a nightmare 🙄 away on holiday on Sunday/Monday, really would like to know by then but don’t think I will! If all else fails I’ll finally be able to grab some FRERs when we drive down to Glasgow on Sunday - finally! 😂🙄

Still keeping everything crossed for you @hayleyfx. Could you get next day delivery for some FRERs?

@Claire thank you! AF is due in 2 days, keeping my FX that I get a dark line soon but really worried about it being a chemical now everything crossed though that it’s not though 🤞🏼

@hayleyfx sorry you’re having such a confusing time! I would say holding out to when AF is due is prob best thing for you now. Sorry you may have already mentioned it but when is AF due? I know it will be really difficult as I would be POAS every day till AF in your position! Hope AF stays away and you get a strong second line 🤞

@Daffodil thank you, yeah I wish I had a frer today, I literally checked every shop and nowhere had them or had them in stock 🤦🏻‍♀️ I guess I just have to wait now but I’m starting to think could this be a chemical? I had a suspected chemical last month too according to midwife (but it wasn’t confirmed by blood test so don’t know for 100% if I was pregnant or not) so starting to freak out a little 😣

@zarala POAS Friday love it! 😂
@PumpkinPatch thank you!

Yesterday I couldn’t get any FRER so I just got a boots hpt and 2 clearblue tests. The boots hpt is meant to be almost as sensitive as frer... I just took it and there’s not even a hint of a second line. The clearblue looks like it has a faaaint line but firstly I’m probably seeing this and secondly I know blue dyes aren’t great and also the line should be darker by now so I’m kind of giving up at this point. Feel like I should just wait for af now 😭 Really didn’t think I’d get a false positive and then a bad evap the next day to top it off - really disappointed. Oh well. Onto next month I guess...
I’ll post photos of the tests so you can all have a look anyway!

Morning ladies good luck to anyone testing today. Have it all crossed for you! X

POAS FRIDAY!!! Come on ladies!!! Whoop! Fingers crossed all!! Let's see those two lines!! I poas this morning (opk) and not at my peak quite yet! But chugging along with our marathon. Day 4 today and quite enjoying the challenge!

Thinking of you @hayleyfx hoping you get some positive news when you next test.

@zarala POAS Friday love it! Now I’m tempted to test lol AF still hasn’t turned up after 7 weeks I have no tests in though boo!

Good luck @primrose16 I hope your GP agrees to the tests if that’s what you want to do.

x

@Primrose16 also good luck with your GP
I actually managed to convince mine to get me blood tests after 2 MCs, this latest pregnancy was not supposed to happen.
I basically told her that I am 35 and that my mum went through early menopause (she didn't but I just basically said that I have anxiety and stress and borderline depression and she needs to help me) so she gave me the blood forms.
The tests on the nhs are not as complete as going to a specialist but they are a start.
The nhs don't test AMH- which tests your ovarian reserve - which is an important thing to know at our age! But they will test your hormones and whatnot
Usually they test the hormones on day 1-4 of period and then progesterone levels on day 21 ( a week or so before period due)
I am now waiting for AF to come after this latest MC so I can get these tests done
Keep me posted on your appointment and hope your gp is as helpful as mine was! Xx

@Sloeberrygin yeah the breastfeeding this is interesting- because as @Eastend2015 and @Boboelephant said- lots of women feed through pregnancy and go on to tandem feed. But my mum kept telling me I shouldn't continueA that's its too taxing on my body. Maybe she was right? Maybe I'm just not "big" enough for that! Haha - I am really petite - but maybe it's totally unrelated. Especially if your consultant didn't seem to think it was an issue- then...well who knows
I know I've said this before to you but I am really sorry about your second trimester loss- it just breaks my heart to think about it. Especially with the milk coming in...
I think I just need to stop squeezing my boobs to check! As I'm sure that's not helping it stop! (Lol)

@Primrose16 yes I feel the same about my daughter. How old is yours? Mine is 17months on the 25th. If I didn't have her I don't know how I'd have survived these past few months.
I also often chide myself and think why didn't I start younger? But I was no way ready! And I definitely wouldn't have been so patient and available as I am now. I was very narcissistic and into myself and my life before - I was no way ready for the family life pace. I also think at this age I really cherish every moment with my baby- whereas when I was younger I don't think i was as present in the moment- I always had to be on the move- on to the next thing. I think a baby would have stifled me and my energy. So I think - like you- if I am only supposed to have one, then so be it - she is amazing and my world and I feel so blessed.

@hayleyfx haha! You do whatever you gotta do girl! I mean tomorrow is POAS FRIDAY? Right girls?! Lol

@dulwichdays thank you! Fingers crossed for you too when you decide to test, hopefully there are more BFP’s this month

@hayleyfx Fingers crossed for you whenever you test.

I’m 34 as well and still TTC #1. I think I’m about 8/9dpo, although I’m not tracking definite OV, just EWCM.

Weirdly not feeling pregnant and not stressed by it, which is a stark contrast to last month when I had loads of symptoms and I was convinced I was. I should expect AF anywhere for next Mon-Fri depending on whether I count by pre-MC or post MC cycle. So I’ve told myself I’ll test if I get to next Sunday if I don’t get any sign of AF...fingers crossed I can hold off until then.