Husband's low sex drive

@upset congrats thats soo nice!x👶💜 ur giving us all hope lol

@Upsetandmaybeunreasonable yay - fab news :) just seem this post and pleased to see a happy outcome!

Bye! Ur name says it all really

The quotes I’ve included above are from the OP, if you want to report her go ahead, but it doesn’t make any sense to report someone who has a different opinion to you, just because they’re different and have a different view, now does it?
In fact it breaches the sites rules.

I’ve been respectful about my opinions, and have based them on the OPs posts. I’ve not called anyone names, or attacked their professional abilities.

My opinion is just that, and is based on my experience, and the experience of my friends, and from my long career, and here, is based entirely on what the OP told us.

Personally I feel that if you think my posts are an ad hominem attack on the OP go ahead and report, but they aren’t. My opinions are based on what the OP has herself said about her DH... they’re based on the OP’s direct posts.

Perhaps it’s time to reread the site’s guidelines everyone?
Ganging up on a poster, calling her names, telling her to fuck off and whipping up hate @thisisouryrfx18 and @Emma198 is breaching this sites guidelines, and makes you look bad.

Having said that, I wish you the very best of luck with the counselling OP.
My counselling style is to challenge- I don’t believe in sitting sobbing on a sofa in a therapist’s office warbling on and on about the same old, same old, week after week, so I push my clients hard and fast to find their own solutions.

I’m glad I helped you define your core values in your relationship.
I hope you find a speedy resolution to your problem.

This, what was it now OP, oh yes, “bitter old crank” is indeed, er, “fucking off” and leaving you all to it.

Peace and love!

If you turn somthing that is supposed to be enjoyable into trying for a baby then it becomes a chore.
Drop the term trying, and stop the stressing on him and start relaxing.

Just report letsgobitches everybody

@letsgobitches ..... fuck off

Letsgobitches if ur really a counselor i feel bad for ur patients! Dishing out advice like that what a nasty piece of work

I'm getting really frustrated, as my husband just isn't very interested in sex. This isn't an issue that's only come about since we decided to start trying, it's been ongoing

im struggling to get my head around why he wouldn’t make the effort

he outright refused counselling

i feel like he isn’t trying

All your words OP.

Listen to yourself.

That’s what I based my post on, YOUR words... if you don’t like what I’m saying, why did you post at all?

I didn’t make anything up about your situation, I based my advice on everything YOU said was going on.

Be in denial and make me out to be extreme, (and roll eyes and have a laugh) but I’m just reflecting back what you said about your situation and feelings. All of which are valid btw.
I’ve worked as a counselor.

Good luck with it.

We had similar issues and infertility problems. It turned out DH actually had a heath problem that caused low libido and low sperm count. Once this was addressed, things improved. It put a huge strain on our marriage though. I got wound up when he wouldn’t have sex or couldn’t finish..obviously this made it even worse. We had to be inventive. We had a pact that we would both try to initiate, we would have a sort of ‘get naked with no expectations rule’, create opportunities to have sex but no blame if it didn’t happen. We found giving massages really helped - it was both relaxing and sensual and often lead to sex. We tried temping/OPKs but it definitely created more stress. It’s worth suggesting he sees the GP if he’s willing?

Anything *

I had this issue too, we both have low libidos and it was not at all an issue until we wanted to make a baby! Didn’t help I wanted it more, too. We had lots of talks about it and promised to do it more but it didn’t really happen. After a few months of managing it once in FW with no joy, & him complaining about feeling under pressure, I tried jumping him earlier in evening instead of waiting until bedtime & being too knackered, twice within a couple of days and it worked! So my advice is try being more ‘spontaneous’ even if it’s anutging but, really 😂

Is there any way you can take sex back from just dtd and more towards being intimate again? Less 'we are ttc' and more 'I miss you' if that makes sense? Maybe share a bath or a shower together, have a glass of wine and just chat. You sound like you've been through a lot together which is worth an awful lot. Good luck OP x

I have a similar problem. I love my husband dearly and our sex life was never an issue. It happened when it happened and months could go by. However, now we are trying to conceive it suddenly seems like such a BIG thing. We missed my FW last month because he works shifts and their was one day (day before ov) but we both got so worked up that it didn't happen. Now I feel like there is more pressure on this month. It doesn't help that I'm comfort eating and have gained weight (2 stone in 3 months!) so my confidence is too low to try and seduce him!

I've looked at going private using partners sperm for IUI. There is so much more to our marriage then sex, but it just feels so awkward at the moment.

From my experience my partner got stressed about performing under pressure so now I do the ovulation testing in private so he has no idea about it. I totally understand how frustrating it can be but the worst thing you can do is have a go at him about it as he will just get more stressed and the problem will get worse. I would try to talk to him and make him feel relaxed about it. It’ll happen when it happens! You can instigate sex when it’s the right time of the month and just aim for sex once within a couple of days of ovulation as this should still give you a good chance. Just don’t make it obvious it’s ovulation time!

I agree with @thisisouryrfx18 we tend to manage once or twice during fw and when I first joined mn I thought everyone was at it like rabbits 😂 anyway we don't have a massive sex drive but try to do it on key dates and we've never managed to do sperm meets egg plan.

Its not easy ttcing lets face it. One time I love to dtd is Sunday mornings if you can stomach his bad breath 😂 it's nice because you're not tired but relaxed

We had this problem. I had to explain to the husband that if he wanted to have a kid, we had to have more sex.

Yes, it was a lot of pressure, but it was only fair. I'd been struggling for months dealing with it on my own and keeping the opks and temping away from him.

Once he'd embraced the rather mechanical aspect of it, it got a lot better. I won't say we enjoyed it, but it was less awful.

Stress and tiredness are definitely mood killers. How about staying off contraceptives but trying the more relaxed not trying but not preventing route for a few months to take the pressure off. We did this at DHs request as he thought I was getting obsessive and it was stressing him. Hasn't worked for us but then neither has planning it to the nth degree which we are back to again now.

I ll b honest with you op i wouldnt stop ttc if i were you i tried waiting for the so called perfect moment to start ttc and let me tell u theres no such thing lifes too short. I thought id stop using contraception and bam it would happen, at our age your better finding out if theres any problems and try to fix them sooner rather than later. As for letsgobitches comment im glad im not your partner what an unsympathetic selfish woman, clearly the ops partner has anxiety and possibly depression the guy needs support not threats. Keep ttc but dnt mention anything about cycles etc to put pressure on him. But i would suggest being more firm about him going to councelling, ttc aside he sounds like he needs it poor guy.