TTC #2 - March BFPs

Sorry @Cariad2017. It’s all shit isn’t it. I’m on call (and on metronidazole!) so no alcohol for me! Could really use a glass of wine!

@CatRen27 I’ve never had counselling and not sure it’s for me tbh but might be good for me (and my marriage if it stops me moaning non stop to DH!).

@Twittle, @Yass and @Peanut, thank you for sharing your experiences.

Period had disappeared as soon as it’s started. Now I’m really worried about Ashermans syndrome. I hate this anxiety, I’m usually very calm!

Yass that must be so tough. Well done for getting through it. Super FX it will be your luck soon. Least with OPKs you will feel some sort of control (least I did when I started using them)

AF arrived here too. Had a little cry (made harder by the fact I worked the night shift last night with a colleague who is 1 month ahead of where I should have been in pregnancy) but now just want to move ahead. Ordered a bag of OPKs and we're going to try and do SMEP next month.

Counselling is a good shout Paranormal, I don't know if/where you work but do they have a wellbeing service you can access at all? I'm having some arranged through a charity linked to my line of work but the counselling is for the miscarriage rather than work related so it doesn't just have to be work stresses etc. Sometimes it helps to just let it all out to an objective ear

I always thought I'd skip a month to avoid a Christmas baby but now I'm just like nah, just want to get pregnant as soon as possible.

@catren27 talking therapies by the NHS offers a free service. They worked wonders for me when I was being what felt like suffocated by my anxiety. Look them up. I had one face to face and the others were phone appointments. Really worked for me so I def recommend them xxx

CatRen I have had counselling twice now. First was in my uni years and I will admit that it didn't help me, CBT is not for me.
BUT
I also had counselling after I was sexually assaulted and it was amazing. I only had a few sessions and there was no mention of CBT but instead she just listened and was there for me. An extra support mechanism that unquestioningly was just there. She did teach me a few coping mechanisms to deal with my PTSD but it was so different to the CBT techniques. I think there are different counsellors, just have to find the right one. It was good to have someone tell me its okay to be sad but that doesn't make me weak etc.

paranormal I could also do with some counselling. Have you been before? I haven't and my SIL struggled for years with infertility (has a lovely little dd now) and said it helped no end but i just can't get my head around the process of telling someone how sad i am.. They can't fix it, I don't want any CBT, I'm just sad. Maybe a few coping mechanisms would help as I'm feeling pretty far from resilient these days. Urgh. Just another bloody thing to do. A month off to temp and settle after what you've been through might be just the thing you need xx

Firstly you are certainly are not pathetic and I am sorry you aren't coping well. You are allowed to find all this a struggle though. I'm pretty sure I speak for all of us when I say this is a massive struggle both physically and emotionally.

Maybe having a month off TTC will help you though as you won't be so wrapped up in and can focus on the visiting family better? Also might be a good month to start charting your BBT if you aren't going to be busy TTC?

Period came last night for me too. It's triggered the mini-breakdown that's been building all week but feeling better overall now. 27 days after ERPC and only 13 days after negative pregnancy test so I think that the rapid hcg drop acted like a trigger shot and I ovulated while I was still bleeding. Either way wouldn't have had time to build a decent uterine lining so probably just as well I didn't try this month.

Trying to decide whether to try again straight away but actually don't think it will be possible this month between colposcopy, DH going away and family visiting so we will probably need to wait anyway.

Ordered a thermometer to maybe try temping on an off month.

Also considering having a session or two of counselling. I'm feeling very pathetic but really not coping well,

mayago Sorry AF has turned up, never sure if its better than she turns up early (least it puts you out of waiting but same time urgghhh deffo not pregnant).
I am in same boat as you with Xmas Baby! Unsure of what to do. EDD would be 29th December and we already have 6 birthdays around that 2 weeks of Xmas in close family! But same time DS was 3 weeks early and they say #2 comes earlier than #1?
I want a home birth for #2, I think half of the trauma started from being forced to stay in hospital because of waters breaking pre 37 weeks. Just got to hope with #2 I can get over that 37 weeks mark.

And AF over night - she's early this month. We were going to skip next month, as the EDD would be Christmas week, and only a couple of days off DD1's birthday. But now this has shifted almost enough to make it doable.. well, unless I went overdue

I've been watching a lot of One Born as well Twittle. Bless you, a second birth will be completely different! I'd planned a lovely home birth that didn't pan out when DD didn't turn in the correct position, and labour stalled. I've spoken to a few midwives who are adamant your body will know what to do the second time around!

CatRen super hope that it is a line though and it just doesn't really show on here. FX!

maya bless you. You are allowed to be tearful! Hopefully you are just too early. You aren't out yet. FX! You will get a 2018 baby.

I've been super emotional too. Nearly had a breakdown at work. But actually was because of the thought of childbirth more than not yet having #2. #1 was pretty traumatic and I still blame myself for it. Ended up watching OBEM last night though to show to myself it isn't always like that

BFN at 11 DPO here, and irrationally upset about it! The thought I won't have a 2018 baby is making me very tearful. Seriously time to get a grip We have been NTNP for a year now, but not actively TTC for that long really!

Antipodean morning to you all, no change on this end, same faint shadow/line not real line and didn't get a frer so will go again tomorrow. After a night's sleep I'm expecting it all to be nothing and even then don't feel too depressed about it so that's got to be progress! Having a little giggle at myself for getting so worked up yesterday.. 🙊🙈

How's everyone else doing?

@MynameisJune I think the gynaes just get so interested in my cervix they overlook the adhesions in my uterus which I'm sure are causing the miscarriages. I didn't have these issues last time around, they result from damage during c-section.

Anyway I think you are right, I'll find something else to focus on for the next few months.

@paranormal ah that’s rubbish. I guess something like a cervical cerclage wouldn’t really help on the pregnancy front then if there isn’t a lot there in the first place. Still there is hope, you’ve had one DC so you know it’s possible and hopefully surgery will help with baby No2 x

@MynameisJune I have lots of colposcopies sadly! Gynaecologists are fascinated by my fairly useless cervix- it’s so short that smears tend to pick up uterine cells rather than cervical. And so scarred that colposcopies always look abnormal. So I have regular biopsies. They are itching to remove what little cervix I have left in case there’s something hiding behind scar tissue but I have been resisting as I’m looking unlikely enough to have a safe pregnancy without making it even higher risk!

Definitely need to focus on weight loss. Thankfully dental abscess kick started things a bit! But went mad eating yesterday as was first time I could have solid food in days!

@paranormal so sorry you’re feeling shitty, it’s just so unfair. As if a negative test isn’t bad enough we then get a 4 day reminder that we’re not pregnant.

I had a colonoscopy and biopsies for abnormal cells when I was early 20’s. It’s not that bad especially compared to child birth. And May isn’t that far away, I know it will seem like it but it isn’t. The reason I know this is because I’m away with super skinny mum and sister at the end of May. So I have 10 weeks to make myself as skinny as I possibly can in that time! Have you noticed when you need to lose weight for something like a holiday or wedding that time speeds up? Maybe try that instead of waiting for an appointment, which always seems to make time go slow. 😊

Does that make any sense?

@Cat I can’t see anything either but they can be hard to capture in photos. Fingers crossed for FRER.

I’m cranky, crampy and on the verge of tears this morning meaning period is imminent and I wish it would just come! Even though we’ve purposely not tried this month the thought of a period when I want a baby so badly is hard to take.

I have a colposcopy and biopsies in a few weeks and hopefully procedure to strengthen cervix May/June so won’t realistically be able to try for ages. Think I was hoping that I’d magically conceived so I wouldn’t need to wait!

So just as i thought i had cracked my BBT charting my temp decides to dip after only 2 days of being high (and even then only by a couple points) post ovulation. My temperature always seems erratic, blamed it previously on night feed for DS but this cycle he's been sleeping through so who knows. Guess I will just stick to OPKs.

Sorry cat same as June. I can't see anything.

I’m really sorry @cat I don’t see a line on that one at all. Get a FRER and try fun again it’s still early days.

Argh this is a different type of test and second morning pee.. its thicker and has more colour... could this really be happening?

Yep I'll get a frer for tomorrow morning unless af turns up to ruin my day.

paranormal of course you poas, its what we do, there's no rationalising it..! Hugs to you, plus 🍰🍩🍷 to get you through the dastardly pms..