When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

Oh no wonky thrush is awful!

sooz ooh that’s good! I totally get you waiting to test though, nothing worse than a bfn :( and well just as taking a test is the best way to bring on a period, it seems so is posting on here lol put my mooncup in this morning, just went to the loo and took it out just to see as I’ve been having a few twingey cramps and sure enough there was a little drop of blood in there. BUT it was bright red. Literally only a drop but I’ve not had bright red fresh blood the whole time I’ve been ttc, only dark red or brown so I’m hoping that that’s a good sign that my periods are maybe getting a bit healthier

No period.
No pregnancy.
Thrush.
FFS.
(Soz for the TMI ladies 🙈😂)

Any sign of af yet sooz? Went for a wee this morning, nothing when I wiped but getting a bit niggly down there so I’m hoping that means my weird brown bleed on Friday isn’t all I’m getting for this period. Fingers crossed she doesn’t show for you!

Also, after 18 months of this nonsense I really should know the answer to this but how long after your first positive opk do you ovulate? I got that really strong positive Friday afternoon. Friday eve I got just a normal positive and another normal positive on Saturday morning (I know you’re not supposed to do opks once you get your first positive but I can’t help myself). So if my first one on the Friday afternoon is the only one that actually counts, when would I have likely ov’d? The Friday was cd13 so I expected it to be cd14 when I ov’d. But could I have ov’d as much as 48 hours later? Meaning my af is actually meant to start today not tomorrow?

I’m just a bit confused as to why I had very obvious brown blood this Friday night but didn’t start af yesterday morning as that’s my usual pattern. Brown spotting on 13dpo then red bleed on 14dpo/cd1. I’m worried my flow is getting really inconsistent with stopping and starting :/

@Pibbee I suspect you will be OK with depression, especially if it has been treated. DHs MH problems are rather more serious and enduring and I also suffer with depression anxiety and PTSD which doesn't help.

@pinkdonkey wow, that GP sounds awful! Hopefully no one so ridiculous will have any part to play with you. Hell, I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago! Hope that’s not gonna count against me...

Sooz I hate to say this but I always buy food/drinks for the homeless as DH and I have been homeless in the past and even the local big issue seller has had 2 babies in the time we have been ttc! It was still a good thing to do though and I'm sure will be appreciated.

With regards to the mental health it was the GP who referred us to the fertility clinic who told us to expect both our mental health histories to be scrutinised but said that it shouldn't be a problem. There's nothing in the CCG criteria except a little clause about risk assessing in line with child safety guidelines, it's when I've looked into that that it gives guidelines on the rights of the embryo and that is where the stuff about protecting the embryo from potential future harm. There's stuff in their about any convictions against children, any history of drug or alcohol abuse and mental and physical health problems. It even states that in cases of surrogacy these guidelines should also apply to both the surrogate and their partner as well as the prospective parents in case the surrogacy arrangements break down. DHs MH problems are significant but his psychiatrist, CPN and psychologist are all on board with us having kids it's not a decision we have taken lightly. Just because someone doesn't have a mental health problem doesn't automatically make them a better parent than someone who does. There are plenty of shit patents with no mental health problems out there. It frustrates me that we will have other people deciding if we are going to be fit parents before we can even get pregnant. I hope that those people are fair in their assessments I'm scared we may have to fight to get fertility treatment. I'm sure DHs mental health team will support us as they have all said we will be good parents, but I had one GP who had never even met DH tell me it would be morally wrong to have children so it scares me that whoever gets to make the decision will share this view.

@pinkdonkey I didn’t know they could look into mental health before an IVF referral! That seems so wrong if that’s the case...I hate that those of us that need help seem to have to jump through so many extra hoops compared to those that don’t... is it definitely the case for you that they would look into that? Just asking as it’s not been mentioned to me at all thus far and isn’t on the list of criteria I have...

@sooz I can just imagine a spate of women doing good deeds to try and earn karma points for ttcing now 😂 Although I’m sure we’re all about due some bloody good karma on this thread.

I do normally get a red bleed on cd1. I get brown spotting the day before af comes then red bleeding cd1 then brown bleeding for a few days. I’ve mentioned it to various doctors and they all said as long as I have some kind of period and it’s regular then there’s nothing to worry about as periods change with age, birth control use, pregnancies etc. And I’m defo not pregnant because my tender boobs have gone and I had that brown bleeding yesterday so I can’t be. I want to forget this cycle and move on

Sooz lovely you don't need to do that to have karma on your side. Can't hurt though. Ha.

Bubblegum I'm so sorry af is a bitch.

Soooo. I'm ignoring possible pregnancy / chemical and have spent all day spending for wedding. I don't really wanna put a pic up here as I know a few people who would recognise me. But I'm gonna post to fb. I feel pretty good in what we got, with proper hair and face. No laughing at posey twat pic please 🙄

@sooz it went later by 6 days. CD17 as opposed to CD11 as normal.

@bubble have you spoken to anyone about the lack of periods? It doesn’t sound normal at all. You should be shedding a womb lining. So either you’re pregnant or the lining isn’t moving for other reasons? I took Maca root last cycle and whilst it evidently moved ovulation my period was much heavier than normal as well. Maybe worth a try?

Also sorry for the major tmi but usually a bowel movement will start my bleeding off without fail (that’s what happened last night when I got my brown bleeding, before then I’d had nothing) then whilst my mooncup has been in today, I’ve been to the toilet three times (must have eaten a lot of fibre-rich food yesterday 😂) and none of them has started my bleeding off. Hence my worry.

What, they take mental heath into account for IVF? That’s terrible. Like june said, people with mental health problems have babies all the time but to have help you get scrutinised? That’s awful.

My period is being a dick. After going the loo last night, I had quite a bit of brown blood. A good streak of it rather than a couple of little spots. I put my mooncup in. Took it out this morning and there was a tiny tiny dark red clot and a little streak of brown so put it back in and I’ve had it in from 10am until about 20 minutes ago. I’ve had no cramping at all, took it out and in the bottom was a drop of watery stuff (cm maybe?) with two or three teeny dots of brown. Now I’m panicking that that brown blood last night WAS my period. I’m 90% sure I ovulated on 3rd as I got my positive opk on 2nd, so should be on cd1 today. Obviously I’m not pregnant because I’ve had my usual brown bleeding/spotting on 13dpo like I always get but now there’s nothing and I’m worried it’s a bad sign :( I just want a normal period!

@pink I think that’s absolutely abhorrent and almost akin to thought policing. People with mental health issues could have babies left right and centre with no intervention. But those willing to go through IVF are vetted on mental health. Surely that’s some sort of human rights breach?

ladies it sounds tough for everyone at the moment.

My opks arrived today, but DH is not at all well so not sure if this month will be possible at all. Would happen just as we get this fertility clinic referal. Have looked into what the GP said about our mental health being scrutinised and found that they can refuse us fertility treatment is they think there are any potential future risks to a child either physically, psychologically or emotionally from a physical or mental health problem. And now we can't even say DH has been stable for ages. Bloody he'll I'm now hoping for a long waiting list so he doesn't come across as completely unstable in our first appointment.

Limp oh no, I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Would love to see some dresses though on FB (I’m still missing my own wedding planning 16 months ago).

Bubble sorry that AF has arrived. And what a shitty baby bomb!

How’s everyone doing today?