When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

So it feels like one thing after the other here.. got my tests back and doctor says i have BV. She was going to prescribe antibiotics and was then like.. hmm maybe not as your TTC. Stupidly googled it and am now freaking out. How do i get rid of it without antibiotics?? Pretty sure my AF is on its way so am tempted just to go screw it and take the antibiotics.

Obviously been stressing about it as slept so badly last night. :-(

&mynameisJune I'm the same negative some f*cker doesn't want me to have this!!!!

Still no af here so caved and took a test this morning. Stark white bfn, don’t know why I bother getting my hopes up. I should know by now.

Yep DH will delay going to bed or not be in the mood frequently. For him his meds affect his libido and he worries about being able to perform too. There have been times when I have worried if it's me but I remind myself it's not and he still likes to kiss and cuddle a lot.

I think when you are dtd because you need to for ttc, rather than just for fun, that fact in itself can be a bit of a turn off though.

It's almost like DH read my thoughts lol. We ended up dtd and he apologised for being a bit off and he did make an effort this time. Maybe it's the pressure getting to him, especially since he got his SA results last week.

I don't know if anyone else's DH gets a bit weird about dtd but mine has the last couple of weeks or so. Like, he'll stall going upstairs and I'll say "Ah we don't have to if you're not on the mood" and he'll say "I will be" or "no it's ok, we will" Last week he even apologised after and said he wasn't "really feeling it"

I was mortified. It's making me feel really self conscious to the point where I've decided to lose some weight because I'm worried he's gone off me! I actually said to him we weren't going to dtd one night because I didn't want to if he wasn't in the mood

I would do it @LookingAtTheStars89 - especially if you are horny! (Think it's too easy to forget that sex isn't just for ttc!!).

@Bubblegum89. Wow, I didn't know that. Thanks :-) I got all dolled up for when DH got home, I wasn't very subtle about it it "Can we have sex tonight?" Lol DH must be in ttc mode because he was like "But we only did it yesterday, aren't we supposed to do eod" Hopefully he will be up for dtd in a bit!

looking when your ovaries release the egg, it survives for up to 36 hours so definitely dtd! My fertility doctor told me the day after ovulation is actually the best day to dtd as you have higher chances of conception (apparently) Enjoy ;)

@Chooklass. Would It be too late to dtd now? We dtd yesterday morning.

Hey @LookingAtTheStars89 - sounds very much like OV to me!! I get all those symptoms on day before and day of OV.

Sorry I meant on the toilet roll lol

LADIES HELP ME! Ok, It's not as urgent as all that but this morning there was a few specks of really light pink in the toilet roll when I wiped and then there was some more when I went just now. I'm cd15 - I'm really turned on (sorry tmi) and my cheeks are warm and pink - could I be ovulating? Or could it just be a random thing?

Sorry if it sounds like a basic question! I've never had anything like this before.

Thanks June I've calmed down a bit now. Been chatting to a friend who's been through our clinic and wasn't asked any questions about mental health. Been looking online our local clinic does private and NHS, it's only a 5 week wait which surprised me and there is an open evening in a couple of weeks. Starting to get a little bit of Hope back, even though my friend didn't have any luck they seem to have a very good reputation.

Hey @pinkdonkey that sounds unfair - I don't think they could discriminate like that? I had my first FC appt the other day and the doc did ask lots of thorough q's about our health, so I think that's standard. Maybe your doc was just giving you a heads-up to be prepared because of your history? Hard not to worry though - I hope you don't have to wait long.

I had TWO baby bombs today. One is a very close friend and I'm genuinely delighted for them but can't help feeling a bit sad too.

@pink I’m pleased you got a referral and that the Dr was good with explaining things to your DH. I don’t have a great deal of experience with NHS fertility clinics but I’ve never heard anyone be turned away due to MH issues. Maybe have a read of the NICE guidelines and see what they say. I’d try not to worry too much, as long as physically you both meet the criteria I don’t think they’d be able to say no.

Well on the down side AF appears to have arrived about 15 mins after buying HPT. Well I suppose I'd not peed on it so it's saved me some money.

On the up side DH took me with him to see GP and have both been referred to fertility clinic so it was worth going together. Been told that they will do SA first before they start investigating my end as it's less invasive GP emphasised to DH how invasive the female side was with some graphic hand gestures sounded like he is used to persuading reluctant male partners that they have it good in this respect. He slightly concerned me by saying that the fertility clinic would thoroughly dig into both our mental health histories, we have experienced prejudice before around DHs condition and ttc even though his mental health team who know us the best are completely supportive. It makes me feel so judged and also so angry for DH as he is amazing with his nieces and I know he will be an amazing Dad when we eventually get the chance. Theres so many people out there who are rubbish/absent fathers by accident how can it be fair we get scrutinised. We are both sensible adults in a loving stable long term relationship and yet there's drug addicts out there using whilst pregnant. And if all this fails we will get the same scrutiny placed on us if we tried to adopt. In fact I have a friend who she and her husband both work with vulnerable people in health an social care and have 2 happy healthy older kids who failed a background checkbfor addoption so what chance would we have. He also said that pregnancy is garunteed to make my mental health worse, which whilst scary I also know from talking to others is not necessarily true. He is known for being very blunt.

Sorry to have a rant, best case scenario is that they want to know all the history so they can support us, I'm just so scared we will be judged unfit parents due to mental health history and not get the help. I know we have the disability discrimination act in our favour and the human rights act included the right to procreate but I don't know how it works with assisted conception.

@jaggy that’s not a bad place to be when TTC! It sounds like TTC heaven to be honest 😂

@sooz your poor DH. Hopefully a break tonight is just what he needs!

Cramps appear to have started here, oh joy.

Haha @MynameisJune the government here REALLY wants people to have kids haha. There is quite a lot of incentives to start a family here, as there is a high amount of elderly people, and couples are having smaller and smaller families, if any at all, the government seems to be panicking haha.

@SoozC haha thanks for the positive vibes. DH is apparently going to be emailed his results, as the doctor will look at them today, but is off tomorrow, then we are away for a few days, and then the doctor is off for like two weeks, argh. The one I go to is a proper clinic, so if my doctor is off i just get another one like back home, but that seems to be more unusual here and most doctors practices are run by only one doctor, or two most, which is a bit rubbish!

Hahaha at your DH!

@jaggy I did wonder if you were in the UK or not. Didn’t think it was standard practice to monitor ovulation via ultrasound. My friend is in the ME and had fantastic care for her IVF and natural pregnancy. I’m daren’t even let myself think that af might stay away, it’s more likely I just ovulated late this month.

Thanks ladies! He has been to his appointment now, and said hardly any came out as it wasn't a nice experience and he 'has some left over' for me, haha. I was like 'eew, I don't want your old sperm!' haha! His doctors sound rubbish. We don't live in the UK but he speaks the local language very well (As do I) but the receptionist was ignoring him and only speaking to him in terrible English, then couldn't understand his English, so he had to say everything loudly and clearly in both languages so the whole waiting room could hear, plus he said he had asked to find out what his blood type was and they had forgotten (also had to get all his details again as they'd lost them) and they kept suggesting it was coz he hadn't asked in the local language when he had! Haha the worst I have had at my doctor was the receptionist correcting me once when I pronounced 'gynecologist' wrong.

I have to say, I dunno if it is my L-Thyroxin tablets (Have been taking them for 5 days now) beginning to work or something else (Perhaps the knowledge that I'm getting lucky tonight haha!) but I feel great today, more energy than I have had in months and just generally a lot happier and more focused. The symptoms of hypothyroidism include fatigue and depression, so it certainly could be the effect of the tablets.

@pinkdonkey good luck today, and hopefully the appointment isn't cancelled!

@MynameisJune well fingers crossed AF doesn't arrive and that there is a BFP waiting for you.

@sooz I hope this is the month for you. I felt that way when I got pregnant in September. I just knew. Hopefully you do too.

@jaggy good luck for tonight! Fingers crossed your DH gets the all clear from the Dr.

@pink good luck at the GP. Hope it isn’t cancelled.

Af is due today, hasn’t shown up yet but I’m not getting my hopes up as I’m not sure exactly when I ovulated.

sooz hope it is your month. I was very positive about this month but AF due Friday and cramping and reduction in boob soreness have now convinced me AF is on the way.

jaggy will let DH know he could easily go 30+ days let alone 10. I have to pounce on him in fw! Anyway appointment with GP is booked for this aft if it doesn't get cancelled snow is still coming down thick and fast here.

Thanks @jaggy and good luck tonight!