Where there’s a Yam, there’s a way

@dreamers your friend is very insensitive to say that to someone who doesn’t have children. Some people just don’t think. Hugs x

@bubble sorry for the bfn. I was really hoping it was a bfp for you this time.

@milk the surge only lasts 12hrs so it is easy to miss especially if you only test in the morning or the evening. I test in the morning and after work and usually manage to catch it.

@Milknosugar1 I am day 12 now and had EWCM yesterday but still no positive OPK. In fact - only the faintest line. Very frustrating.

Welcome Chook

Sorry Sooz that you’re feeling so low x glad that your DH is home now to give you a cuddle.

I’m feeling a bit lonely irl at the moment.i was out with my friends yesterday and they’re all mums and I realised that all they talked about was their children and one of them kept tellling me not to have children because they’re hard work, and only one of them knows that we’re TTC and I suddenly felt like I no longer know them. Aargh, I just feel rubbish this month.

Thanks for the welcomes!

@nothingbutwhitetests I bleed lightly from about 4/5dpo to AF, have done since my late teens and after various tests in my early 20s that was the specialist's 'diagnosis'. It seems to be my normal and even happened when I was on the pill, despite docs telling me that wasn't possible! Very frustrating and I've learned to live with it until TTC, when I can't help but feel it must be a problem. How can the bean stick with that happening? I hope everything goes okay at the breast clinic for you.

@QuietTime We got a letter a few weeks ago to say they had our form and that we may have to wait 3 months or longer. Totally understand that we're not a high priority considering NHS strain at the moment but hope we don't have to wait too long! We were lucky to get preliminary tests by GP pretty early on because of my weird bleeding and as DH had a testicle removed as a child, so mustn't grumble too much!

I just got AF yesterday and had totally got my hopes up this month because I felt sick for days and everything tasted weird (which I've never experienced before). I guess it was just a stomach bug! I'd given up symptom spotting and poas months ago but it was all too tempting this month and I fell off the wagon!. xx

Welcome Chook

Thanks for asking @QuietTime - feeling pretty damn miserable tbh. Fecked off with my body 100%. Thought a weekly test would be sensible but now seems it just brings disappointment and frustration. Where oh where is my AF??? 😒

• are you planning...

Oh sooz I'm so sorry about how you're feeling - and glad the others had such wise words. Do keep talking about it here in the meantime - but good for you for being proactive in seeking further support. DH's hugs are probably what you need, but sending a virtual one now anyway xx

wonky sorry about the tests - how are you doing?

Are you thinking about any pregnancy tests for yourself bubblegum or have you planning to stick to opks to see how they progress? What a pain in the arse that your cycle's messing you around like this

Welcome chook though sorry things are up in the air with TTC - 10 months is a frustrating point either way; hope you get to see a fertility consultant soon - have you been given an idea on the waiting time?

Sorry about the possible AF nothing - when do you see the clinic? I hear you on going back to bed...

Hi @chooklass. Hope you don't mind me asking what dysfunctional uterine bleeding is?
I finally made an appointment with my GP last Friday as we are up to 12 months and reluctantly accepting that we might need help. In between making the appointment though I found a couple of breast lumps so had to use the appointment for that instead. Another fun trip to the breast clinic for me. Plus I'm having spotting and cramping so guessing AF is going to make an early appearance tomorrow. This was the last month to get a BFP and be eligible for my organisation's maternity leave due to a short contract so I've feeling very fed up. I might just go back to bed!

You found us, Chook! Welcome :)

DH has been lovely - totally understanding and sympathetic and giving me lots of hugs just like I needed yesterday.

Just, not looked into it. I think I'd prefer face-to-face, somewhere neutral so I'm not getting all upset at home. I will keep telephone counselling as a back-up though, I've seen some numbers in my searches.

Sooz Have you looked into telephone counselling? I had some at a tough time in my life and actually bought it worked as well (if not slightly better) for me xx

Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me joining you here. Sooz and Milk pointed me in this direction . About me: I'm 36, TTC#1 for about 10 months. Know that isn't long but currently waiting for nhs fertility appt after DH sperm results came back v poor, and I have 'dysfunctional uterine bleeding'. We're keeping on trying in the mean time but feels a bit pointless until we know more. So fed up buying vitamins and opks! I must've spent a fortune so far!!

Thank you so much guys, I can't tell you how much your words mean. DH is back now, I'm so happy. It was such a shock to realise how much I fall apart when he's not around; I'm usually the strong one.

I'm struggling to find a counsellor who can see me in the evening. I work full-time: Wednesday or Friday at 11am is not going to happen! I feel I need it though, going to keep looking.

I've booked an initial acupuncture session this week as well, so it feels good to be doing something.

Oh, I also bought some sweet potatoes to make fries this week, because, you know, I'm desperate now!

Sorry to hear you are struggling Sooz. I found the info graphic below helpful to think about when I've been feeling the same way. Please don't suffer alone x

So sorry to hear you are struggling @SoozC. Some wonderful advice has been posted below, so just sending a big virtual hug to you. x

Sooz have you contacted the Miscarriage Association or Cruse? For both you and DH? X

Posted too soon..

My mc is a massive factor. I don't really care about ttc now but every day I want to cry for what I lost. I know I need help. I'm trying to find a counsellor and I've ordered some St John's Wort. It doesn't help that DH is also struggling with depression, mainly for different reasons, although I know the mc hasn't helped.

Sorry you have negs, Wonky.

DH comes back today, thank goodness. I don't have any friends near enough to pop round for tea and sympathy so will have to stay here until he's back.

@SoozC Is DH home? Don't be alone today. If he's not then go see a friend or family. ideally one who knows you well enough so you can flump onto their sofa and demand tea and hobnobs. Being alone and down is horrible. X

I POAS today. Thought I'd do one for torture fun every week, and as there has been some notable er, changes in my cm I thought maybe I was ovulating really late (cd60). So I did a pg test and an OPK (so I could be cheered up by possible ovulation when the pg was negative). Both stark white negatives. FFS.