How do you move on after miscarriage?

Man, I’m so sorry. Miscarriage is rough as fuck and it completely baked my head for quite some time.

Here’s my story:
Conceived month 2 with DD. Great pg, good delivery
When she was 4mo I got pregnant again - half accidentally. That baby was very much wanted and I lost it at 11w. Ended in a surgical procedure. It was so so so so so painful - physically and emotionally - and it knocked me for six. I had to stay in bed for days as I was so physically buggered. The guilt I had about not being there for my then 6 month DD was awful.

BUTTTTT

DH and I talked lots about it. I also had counselling. That allowed me and us to heal. We left it a couple of months before TTC and it didn’t work out quickly for us. But it worked out. DS is now 12weeks old and is snoring like a warthog in his cot as we speak.

Tips:
Please please be good to yourself. Sleep well, eat well, do what makes you happy, from meeting chums for a drink to going for a run.
Talk to people. Nobody knew what to say to me. Most folk were just really nice and sympathetic.
Talk to your DH/DP. He’s hurting too.
Don’t obsess about getting pg again too fast. Preserve the intimacy by cuddling and hugging and kissing DP loads.
If you must cycle watch don’t water your time with cheapie OPKs. Use clear blue digital smiley indicator ones and read the instructions.

My pregnancy ended at 11w but that was 11w of excited chatter about names, if it’ll be a boy or girl, if it’ll have my hair colour (GINGE) or DHs. When that was whipped away from us it hurt so bad. Even with one DC already.

As I mentioned we have DS now. He’s ace but it doesn’t “cancel” the pain of losing his older sibling (who we had nicknamed “Edam”). I think about our lost baby a lot but it doesn’t affect how i interact with DS or DD. It’s just sad.

I send you big hugs and love x

It’s an incredibly difficult and emotional time. And you can never truly understand the depths of despair you feel until you’ve been through it.

I mc at 13 weeks pregnant having no idea that things were not going according to plan. We had fallen first month an I thought we will be pregnant again easily. How hard can it be. Unfortunately I naively misunderstood the grief and despair I would feel. An it took my hormones and my general well being a while to right itself again. It was a very dark and lonely period for a while.

Low and behold though after becoming very frustrated at not falling pregnant as quick again as I did before, I did fall again after 6 months of ttc. And am now 36 weeks pregnant expecting my bundle of joy any time soon.

I promise you, the sadness and despair does fade once you see them two positive lines again 💕 until then be kind to yourself.

Hi Katie.
I’ve been there. It’s awful. I did go on to have my DS. So sorry for your loss. Treat yourself kindly. Comforting food, a warm bath, etc.