Boy and a girl/pigeon pair/perfect family + 1 ??

I'm hearing you op, don't at all think this is a strange post.
I was the eldest of 3 girl, boy, boy. As kids I don't think it made much difference our gender, it was more age that me and my brother (elder of the 2) were closer but it did always feel like it was 2 against 1 in any argument with no pattern of girl vs boys or vice versa just with there being 3 of us so in that respect sticking with 2 might be easier! I also get your 'for kids it's better the same' i never felt like i missed out having brothers but i do think it made me a bit tom boyish and i think having a sister would of been quite a different childhood but more so now as an adult I feel a lot of my friends have sisters who share a friendship I don't think you quite have between a brother and sister which I also think my brother's share.
As adults though I love having 2 brother's who I feel are very protective of their sister so I think having 2 and 1 has worked out well.
I totally also get that people have a thing for the desired perfect family of a boy and girl and I do definitley think if you have only either people think you are trying for the other but if you have one of each people think you should be content with that. That probably is a bit of a dated way of thinking in a world where It's apparently the future to be gender neutral but I grew up on a farm in the highlands of Scotland where things probably are a bit dated.

@nooka 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I have boy/girl children. Got comments when they were tiny but after that it's not something people comment on at all. I don't know if that's true for people who have children of one sex but I expect there is a point when potential commenters realise that you aren't going to have more children and move on to different inane comments.

There are differences in bringing up girls and boys that have nothing to do with their personalities.

The purely biological is mostly about female puberty IME. I'm not sure if ds even had wet dreams, but dd has had some issues related to periods that he didn't (luckily) have to experience, and so of course we supported her (visits to hospital, doctors appointments, extra care when she was feeling terrible etc). Should either of them get pregnant/get someone else pregnant their sex will be very relevant too.

Then there is the gender side, and again it's dd that has needed the support there too. No sexual harassment or assault for ds (not that it's impossible of course just a great deal less likely for boys). Gender conformity/ non conformity could be an issue for both of them, but the world undoubtedly treat boys and girls, men and women differently.

I have one of each and have had lots of "pigeon pair" and "perfect family" type comments. It's just something to say. If I'd had 2 the same they'd say how lovely for them and they'll be best friends etc.
I am pleased that I get to experience parenting both sexes but would have been just as happy whatever I had, all combinations are good for different reasons.
Have a third if you want and ignore everyone else. I won't be, 2 is work enough!!

"I have 2 girls. The ‘are you going to try for a boy?’ "

I used to get that too and wasn't DH unhappy he didn't have a son. Erm, nope... we wanted two girls, actually. But don't say that because then you get accused of being a smog. 😂

I have a girl and a boy, and desperately want another. I hate it when people say you must be happy having one of each. I have two children, as far as I’m concerned, not ‘one of each’, and I would like a third. I can’t advise further than that as I don’t have a third yet, but if that’s what you want, then go for it!

Yes boys also give you grandchildren but ask any grandparent and they will tell you it's a completely different experience with your daughter compared to your son!

I don't agree with this either. I thought we had got past this sort of generalisation.

Yeah that list is a bit silly tbh.

*I'm not sure I will be supporting any of my boys through their first period...

Or helping to pick out prom dresses and wedding dresses with him....

Or holding his hand as he gives birth...*

My mum missed that memo.

Too embarrassed about periods. Fortunately i was a reader, learned from books and managed myself.

No prom dresses, proms are a recent thing. Don’t boys need help picking out prom outfits? Wedding dress, nope, we eloped and my mum didn’t even come.

Holding hand while i give birth? Can’t think of anything worse. She’d be utterly useless. She came to stay the week after and did nothing but pester me to take dd to the gp because she was crying/feeding/pooing/sleeping...and she was sure something was wrong.

I think you get less comments having a third in your situation than having three of the same sex, which is of course and outcome of having a third. The mean comments I get about having three boys infuriates me.

So some of that list is not a "given", to me that list sounds a bit like fantasy 

Agreed. Everyone's individual and unique. You cannot assume you will do any of these because you a have a child of a certain gender.

It does to me too. My mum had no involvement in any of the above.

Queenamongstmen.... my mum never chose my prom dress (was not that sort of girl) or wedding dress (wanted to choose that alone) or held my hand during birth (I only wanted DH there)

As to periods, my mum was too embarrassed so my dad explained about pads

So some of that list is not a "given", to me that list sounds a bit like fantasy

My mum had me, then my brother

Perfect, everyone said, now you're done

Then she had another boy. So glad she did as my youngest brother and I are so close

Loved growing up with 2 brothers, and my brothers say it's nice to have a brother AND a sister

Just do what you like!

Quite happy to miss out on wet dreams but I see your point

@Nonomento yes you don't experience your childrens' wet dreams and periods but you have to parent through them and they are so completely different experience. So if you have two of the same you'd miss out on the other experience.

@Nonomento yes not necessarily when they are small but you are a parent your whole life and experience parenting your child throughout your whole life and there is most definitely differences!

I have boy girl girl, and you are all missing out if you only have two. It is a much more interesting dynamic with 3.
Of course 1 is great and my friend with 8 has a very different dynamic in her family. So maybe we are all missing out.

I think the experience might be different but not necessarily when they are small.

Having a boy and a girl is meaningless as ALL babies and young children have their own distinct personalities, so you really aren't 'experiencing' anything that a mother with two children of the same sex isn't experiencing.

Seriously?

I'm not sure I will be supporting any of my boys through their first period...

Or helping to pick out prom dresses and wedding dresses with him....

Or holding his hand as he gives birth...

What a ridiculous thing to say.

Of course the experiences of bringing up boys and girls is different!