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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Feel like an awful friend

37 replies

SpongeCake23 · 31/12/2017 15:18

So how do you deal with one of your closest friends being pregnant and the other one with a 3 month old baby? The close friend just announced it to me this morning. She's about 6 weeks.
It's an overwhelming feeling of jealousy and I hate it. I want to be happy for these people but it's so difficult!
I also held the 3 month old yesterday. Which was very hard. Seeing him again tonight too Sad

Me and my DP have been trying to conceive for 6 months 😔 We've put it on hold for a month or two while we look into getting a mortgage and buying a house.
But I still feel like there must be an issue with one of our bodies (or both).

What makes it worse is that both friends conceived within the first month of trying! She said she only downloaded the pregnancy app to track her periods about 4 weeks ago!
If only it was so easy! Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
SpongeCake23 · 31/12/2017 18:50

@Timpani
Aww thank you. I feel like deep down it'll happen for me sometime too, but it's almost like it'll never happen too and that I'm tempting fate by thinking it.

OP posts:
Timpani · 31/12/2017 16:51

I agree, your age is a good think (dp's age doesn't matter too much). Yes, it was a year of trying before tests for us. Personally I went just short of a year ans they were happy to get the ball rolling.
Despite our MF issues, we had no problem accidentally conceiving our second child. However the third is proving as difficult as the first so we are going to jump on the fertility wagon again. I understand you Feeling because I've been there with both of my sisters in law conceiving and having their babies and second babies during the time it took us to get pregnant with our first. And now again my best friend is trying for her third and will no doubt get pregnant immediately like they did for their other two. It sucks big time.

But believe me when I say it that one day you will be me and you will be dishing out this advice. I always believed it deep down and I was right.

Pibplob · 31/12/2017 16:27

That's good then as you have lots of time ahead of you for it to happen. I'm sure it will all work out for you in the end. X

Original poster
SpongeCake23 · 31/12/2017 16:17

@pibplob I'm 28. DP is 36.

OP posts:
Owlpatrol · 31/12/2017 16:09

Similar situation to you....but I can't tell.my friend we are ttc. It seems to be all about her and I'm not ready to tell her I'm try and have been for over a year. It's all very hard. But the decision is always yours whether you seek solace from your friend or not.

Pibplob · 31/12/2017 16:09

How old are you? I'm sure you'll get there even if there are difficulties. There is so much that can be done to help now. Stay positive.

flumpybear · 31/12/2017 16:02

Both mine took two yeRs each ttc

Read up on agnus castus for period issues and ttc

Ameliaxx · 31/12/2017 16:02

Me and my best friend went through a difficult patch when she told me she fell pregnant without trying. Worst thing is we worked in the same office too so she told the whole office on the same day so when we walked into the office in the afternoon everyone was shouting congrats and everynin and all the baby talk for the next three hours. And yes she knows how much ive been struggling. We dont speak anymore but thats because i had a rough patch with my bipolar so she didnt want to know xx

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 31/12/2017 15:53

This is our 6th cycle too and everyone else seems to be pregnant! You're not alone OP.

Original poster
SpongeCake23 · 31/12/2017 15:53

@Timpani I think it's a female factor issue in our case (it could be male too) but my periods are very heavy and painful. I think I may have endo/pcos.

I have spoken to my GP and they say they won't start tests until next summer when we've been trying for a full year Sad and may not even do all tests until 18 months have passed.

OP posts:
Timpani · 31/12/2017 15:42

In my experience, if you feel like there's a reason why you're not conceiving then it's possible there is. I was the same. Got to 6 months and felt like you. In the end we were diagnosed with male factor, which is what I suspected because I knew as far as possible that I was 'ok'. We had IVF in the end.

I understand your feelings entirely. It's so hard.

Chienrouge · 31/12/2017 15:22

6 months isn’t all that long to be trying. We tried for 13 months with our first, with no known issues/barriers to conceiving. Second conceived in the first month! You have a 20% chance of conceiving in any month.
It’s hard when things seem to happen easier for other people though, so Flowers