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Original poster

Choose TTC or new job? Could really do with advice :(

32 replies

webster144 · 21/11/2017 12:33

Hi everyone,

I’ve post quite a few times on here my journey, I found out I was pregnant in September and had a miscarriage at 5 weeks shortly after. At first we decided not to try again and instead I threw myself into my current job and applied for a new position that I really wanted...

Since my first period since the miscarriage I haven’t managed to shake this sad lonely feeling and the longing to be pregnant again, it’s been all I’ve thought about and my partner has admitted he would love for us to try again and I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t tried to forget about it...

I’ve now been offered this position starting in January which is a great opportunity, but with that would mean falling pregnant is off the cards as it’s a new position and I wouldn’t want to let down this person (who runs their own company and it is very small) and I wouldn’t be entitled to any sort of leave pay if I did fall pregnant again so soon into the job. My current job is okay, but nothing exciting and the pay is average. This new job is a great opportunity with more money and more of what I want to be doing. My current job would be fine if I announced I was pregnant, but I’m scared I get stuck in a dead end job for the rest of my life.

My partner wants to try again and says he is behind me whatever decision I choose, but I just don’t know what to do. I’m desperate to be pregnant again and have back that feeling and I’m dying for us to start a family.

Note - I’m 25, been with partner for 3 years, engaged for a year, long term steady current job, good income from both of us and we own our own home. We feel this is right for us, pregnancy that turned to miscarriage was semi-planned, we weren’t actively trying but just going with the flow and if it happened then it happened.

Any opinions on what people have done in their life, chosen career over family or vice versa, as I’m at such a cross road in my life and unsure of what road to take. I am about 70% family driven, 30% career....if that makes sense! Prefer the idea of starting a family over choosing my career right now, just so stuck and wouldn’t mind some kind words of advice or experiences on either career or babies.
Thanks so much xx

OP posts:
OwlyLady · 21/11/2017 13:29

(advice coming in from another Owl fan, waves hey there Owlpatrol)

Taken from the government website, to qualify for SMP you must:
earn on average at least £113 a week
give the correct notice
give proof you’re pregnant
have worked for your employer continuously for at least 26 weeks continuing into the ‘qualifying week’ - the 15th week before the expected week of childbirth

I read that as being able to start TTC again for sure a month after joining in January. As PP said it might take you a while to get pregnant anyway plus they cannot discriminate against you if you did become pregnant not long after joining!

I plan to start a new job in January and I have been actively TTC for past few months. You still get Leave (even if you dont qualify for pay) no matter how long you have been with a company.

Best of luck with both new job and baby making

Original poster
webster144 · 21/11/2017 13:26

Also please note this has nothing to do with money, I would be going part time with the new company and the wage rise is £2 more an hour, but across part time with my current wage this isn’t much and won’t make too much of a difference.

This is more of an emotional thing Sad

Thanks x

OP posts:
Original poster
webster144 · 21/11/2017 13:24

Hi, thanks for your replies!
It’s a completely new company, that has 2 people working for it and I feel if I was to start in January with them, and say for talkings sake I fell pregnant in March, you have to be working for a new company at least 26 weeks before you are pregnant I heard to qualify for all the benefits etc. I would be going from full time to part time with my current employer, and then going part time with the new employer to make up the other hours. Two employers, all very confusing. The new employer can’t offer me full time so we have agreed part time with both jobs.

I know it’s good to have a steady job behind you and a good wage, I have a good wage at the minute but of course a little more would never hurt!

I’m just so lost about what to do, I so want a family right now but scared about turning down this opportunity.

Sorry for such a drama! x

OP posts:
DistanceCall · 21/11/2017 13:22

Do you intend to leave your job permanently and become a SAHP when you give birth? (which I would really recommend against).

If not, I don't think there should be a problem. I'd probably wait for half a year or so so you can recover and adapt to the job, and then start trying again. As a pp has said, you are pregnant for nine months, and if you don't overdo the maternity leave and are relatively flexible, it shouldn't be such a problem.

Owlpatrol · 21/11/2017 13:08

They also can't discriminate against pregnancy so you should be safe guarded.
Sorry for the essay!

Owlpatrol · 21/11/2017 13:08

Ps it could take you another 6 months to be pregnant again sorry to be downer but you should be out of any probation period by then and I'm sure doing an amazing job. Plus you'll be pregnant for 9 months so your boss will have time to get over it x

Owlpatrol · 21/11/2017 13:05

Hi chick. Is it the same company? You should still be entitled to the same benefits if you have worked for the company for the same time. Anyway you will still get smp regardless. I'm in HR so that's what i think. However check your company policy if it is a deal breaker. If you want my opinion this happened to me this year and I went for the new job and couldn't be happier, still no bfp however I am less stressed at work which has made ttc better so either way I was still a winner. Also, when you have a baby it'll be better to be on a higher wage with a bit more smp. Also, you will feel different after having a baby and going back to work will be a whole other topic.
Good luck - go for it! X

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