Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC #2 (November BFPs)

359 replies

Cariad2014 · 07/10/2017 22:09

If anyone is ttc2 and expecting their AF/ BFP in November then this thread is for you.

Let’s all give ourselves a fabulous excuse not to drink at Christmas!

My stats are as follows:

Age: 35
DS: 2 (in late November)
Cycle: 13 (lucky for some?!?!) I have short cycles so this is month 11 (yawn!)
AF/ BFP due: 2 November

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Cupcakesandlove · 05/11/2017 21:23

I’ve never been someone to be able to just fall pregnant, my friends have all been like oh we just fell pregnant -how!!!!
One of my friends went away for a week and forgot her pill came back pregnant... cheers!!! Even with my first it took a while and wasn’t immediately- was quicker than this time though hence why I’m so down! Even family are like oh we thought you would have another by now? Thanks really helpful - not

Original poster
Cariad2014 · 05/11/2017 20:14

Cupcakes - I know how you feel. The rollercoaster I’ve experienced when ttc both times around has made me quite keen on twins (assuming of course I had a healthy pregnancy). It would be a real f*%$ you to the woes of infertility. DH was quite keen on 3 (until we started ttc DS).... There is NO way on earth I’m ever ttcing again after this, so whatever happens this time around, our family will be complete.

OP posts:
Cupcakesandlove · 05/11/2017 20:08

HOnestly the way I am feeling right now I would take twins triplets or quads! I certainly couldn’t cope with twins Hmm

Original poster
Cariad2014 · 05/11/2017 11:10

It’s comforting to know that others are in the same boat Lopey even though it’s utterly rubbish. I shall be keeping everything that you get that elusive BFP very very soon.

Both my mum and MIL are teachers and are obsessed with birthdays and the school year.

I almost died of shame at a baby class last Summer when my Mum struck up a conversation with the heavily pregnant teacher about her due date and when she heard it was August remarked “oh, so you’re having a Summer holiday baby”. The teacher’s response, along the lines of “if only we could all plan these things”, and the fact that she already had a 4 year old, made me want the ground to swallow me up!

OP posts:
LopeyLopez · 05/11/2017 10:53

*first too, not two!!

LopeyLopez · 05/11/2017 10:52

Morning all,

Going back to some things mentioned that I meant to comment on and never found time.....

Late summer babies: yes, never wanted one as we are both teachers and it was important to us to have a baby born near the start of the academic year. We were lucky and our first was (September). This time I would have preferred at least not after May/June, but now - same as others - I am desperate and don’t care!! Any baby, any birth date preferable to none at all!!!! Beggars can’t be choosers, as they say......

Age gaps: ideally wanted 18 months to 2 years gap. Would have loved a small one / two born close together. Would have loved to have avoided being swamped in nappies still by my early forties....! But now am looking at a 3 year gap. Again, as others have said, beggars can’t be choosers and now I will be happy with anything.

Agnus castus: have been on this for months. Used it for my first two. Found it did regulate my cycle and lengthen my luteal phase (but only slightly, and of course I don’t have evidence for this - could have been other factors at play). Used to have 10-11 days luteal phase and now it’s usually 12. I do get spotting though (apart from last month...?!), so not sure if this could be caused by AC. I say try it if you want. For me I prefer to be on it than not, because I feel I am least trying to do something proactive about the situation and taking control (over something I have pretty much no control over, unfortunately....)

Such are the predicaments of secondary infertility....

Good luck all; everything on here rings so true for me. Glad I have this place to share xxx

Original poster
Cariad2014 · 04/11/2017 22:46

Mynameis - I definitely don’t have it in me to ttc for years and years. I am far too impatient and obsessive about it all - it’s dominated much of my non-work related thoughts this year; and much of my recent conversations with DH. It simply wouldn’t be healthy or indeed fair on DS to carry on like this indefinitely. I definitely don’t see us ttcing into the next decade, so if I’m not upduffed by the time DS is 4 at the end of 2019 I think I’ll be hanging up my ttc coat and shoes for good.

I shall be keeping everything crossed that you get your BFP very very soon. Xxx

OP posts:
MynameisJune · 04/11/2017 22:13

cariad I can totally understand the black cloud and low lying sadness. I know as well that it isn’t going to go away, even if we accept that we will be a family of three I think that sadness is going to take a long time to get over, I guess it would be grieving the life we expected to have. I know we have a ways to go before we get there but I do know we couldn’t TTC for 6 years like last time.

Original poster
Cariad2014 · 04/11/2017 21:38

It’s so tough isn’t it Mynameis. One of the books I’m reading about IVF has a chapter in it on secondary infertility. It makes the point that in some ways secondary infertility can be harder than primary infertility because you end up being surrounded by pregnancy and families with multiple children with no way of avoiding it. I can definitely identify with this.

It also describes the longing for another child a bit like walking around with a dark cloud above your head, which is precisely how I feel. There’s this low lying sadness that I know I won’t shake off unless I get pregnant or finally come to terms with the fact that we are going to be a family of three.

OP posts:
MynameisJune · 04/11/2017 20:50

cariad yes ideally we wanted 2 years, failing that at least before 2.5years. At this point DD will be nearly 3, it feels like failure even though I know we have such little control over it.

It’s not helping that so many people are pregnant and there is talk all over of maternity leave, second babies, bump pictures and so on. Sometimes I do just sit wonder and why us, I must have done something really wrong in a past life because I just wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Original poster
Cariad2014 · 04/11/2017 20:31

Waves back at Steves. Lovely to see you on here again. I really hope your journey to DC2 is short and sweet.

It’s so tough with age gaps isn’t it Mynameis. My ideal would have been exactly 2 years, and failing that a Spring 2018 baby, but it seems I’ve lost the boat for both by a long shot. The best I can hope for now is that the gap doesn’t end up being huge. So much of this decade has been dominated by ttc and pregnancy already that I certainly don’t want to be changing nappies into my forties.

OP posts:
stevensupersquirrel · 04/11/2017 16:47

Oh my god cariad, I was on the buses with you when I was try dc1. ( I was ohlordyplordy back then).
We're just starting ttc dc2 as of today - but it's cd14 so doubt I'll be that lucky this cycle!
Stats
Age 37
Dd 2 years 3 months
CD 14
AF due 18th

MynameisJune · 04/11/2017 16:35

@cariad thank you lovely. Typically I didn’t buy any wine today as af wasn’t due until Monday oh well always tomorrow.

I’m with you on the nostalgia, I think that and sleep deprivation has just made it slightly worse this month.

Whilst I know a 3 year gap will have lots of pro’s like DD will probably be fully potty trained and more able to understand etc but it’s still so far away from what we planned that it’s so hard to get my head around.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for bfp’s for us both by New year 🤗

Original poster
Cariad2014 · 04/11/2017 16:18

Sending enormous hugs and a big glass of Wine Wine your way Mynameis. I remember the first AF after both my losses and both were equally crushing (even though we didn’t even ttc in the month after my ectopic). It’s such a cruel reminder.

You’re right - the time of year doesn’t help, I keep getting nostalgic about this time two years ago when we were readying ourselves for DS’s arrival.

Be kind to yourself my lovely. You’ve been through so much in the past month.

On a more positive note, you have two more shots at a sticky BFP in 2017 and if that doesn’t work out, then I shall be keeping everything crossed that early 2018 brings us all those BFPs that we so desperately want. I’m starting to think that a 3 year gap won’t be all that terrible after all...

OP posts:
MynameisJune · 04/11/2017 15:53

Af has arrived so that’s me out for now. I kind of knew it wouldn’t happen this quickly after last month but I’m so sad that we’re facing new year still not pregnant. It really puts into perspective how long it’s been now.

LopeyLopez · 04/11/2017 15:07

Yes cariad and penny we do really need BFPs on this thread to cheer us up and give us hope!! I guess it’s still early - is only the 4th November on the November thread after all...,!

Original poster
Cariad2014 · 04/11/2017 11:02

Thank you for sharing Hedgehog. I’m so pleased your friend had such a positive outcome. Currently reading up as much as I can on IVF, and like so many things in life, if it works I get the sense that everyone sings its praises and genuinely couldn’t care less about the expense. It’s a huge burden both financially and emotionally if it doesn’t though, particularly when you already have a child to think about.

OP posts:
HappyHedgehog247 · 04/11/2017 10:35

@cariad I just read back and saw your post about IVF. I hope the fertility appointment goes well. I had lunch with a friend recently who is just having her third with IVF and she said although it was expensive and emotional she actually found it much better once she was underway with it (they'd tried naturally before) and as soon as baby arrived they didn't care what it had taken to get him. I don't mean to sound flippant or minimise it but just wanted to share how positive she was about it. Good luck. I may look at that option soon too x

Original poster
Cariad2014 · 04/11/2017 08:40

Good luck Penny - I really hope this is your month. Amazing work on not testing. Some BFPs on this thread would be just ace - I really hope the floodgates open soon. You’re right, late Summer Birthdays have the advantage of cheaper childcare. It’s also a lovely time of year for a Birthday party outside.

OP posts:
pennyw85 · 04/11/2017 07:16

Hey everyone

Really hope to see lots of BFP on this thread soon. I’m 12dpo but trying to hold out testing until Monday as AF due Wednesday. Really trying not to get my hopes up but I have to admit they are already quite high Grin

With DD1 (now 4) I thought it would take ages to get pregnant but it didn’t so we ended up with a very late summer birthday (28th August). This time I’d actually quite like one again as it’s cheaper on childcare - one less year of nursery fees!

Original poster
Cariad2014 · 03/11/2017 21:15

Rhi - I’m glad you have a plan of action. That always makes me feel so much better!

Curlie - stories like yours give me hope. You have NO idea how much I’d love to conceive naturally and therefore avoid IVF. Wishing you a very uneventful pregnancy. Xxx

OP posts:
RhiBee29 · 03/11/2017 19:17

@MynameisJune and @Cariad2014 I’m going to have another bash at reflexology and vit b6 and if no joy by new year I’ll try the Vitex.

Cupcakesandlove · 03/11/2017 19:03

Hi @curliegirlie I had my day 21 test done on Wednesday...
I’m hoping all is ok

curliegirlie · 03/11/2017 18:11

@Cariad all is not lost! With dd I conceived on cycle 10 (16 months in - I had some loooong cycles) and with this pregnancy (currently 8 weeks) I conceived on cycle 12. First time round we had just had our first fertility appointment with the consultant. I should have had an HSG that month (dye down my tubes) but put it off, as we were going on a weekend break and I didn’t want an alcohol or sex ban! Just as well, eh! This time I got my BFP 3 days after my day 21 test 🤣.

Good luck, all of you, I’m sure you’ll be joining me before long...

raybay1 · 03/11/2017 17:59

Hi all,

Hope it’s not too late to join - I have no idea what I’m doing and all your support/advice in this thread has helped a lot!

Currently ttc #2 and have a DC aged 9. This is the first time we are ttc As first DC unexpected (when we were 17!) and really have no idea regarding timings etc. Currently just winging it whilst body gets back to “normal” after having coil removed. I’ve had 1 cycle and think I should have af around 18th but like I say I’m not 100% sure until it happens! All this not knowing is so frustrating!!