TTC MAY-be, maybe not.... lets try again with the May thread

hi all! am back from my sand-dune shag-fest. so just have to wait now. you have been busy, what've i missed?

Scorpio - hope the next 5 days goes quickly for you

Morning all. Have only just got the internet up and running again at work, there are always problems with it.

Am feeling a lot happier after my chips yesterday Flumpy - did you get any chocolate? One of the Yr10 students bought some chocolate in for me this morning from Austria - am trying not to eat it all at once but don´t think I can help myself

i am actually cd36 today, and still waiting for af. my last cycle was 41 days (marked in my diary) so im waiting until then to see whats on. 5 days....

jhyesmum - I have tears running down my cheeks now for you. What lovely things you said about your Mum. I hope she fixes it for you to be sent a baby to make you smile this cycle

Fingers crossed for what's left of May ladies

Girls...... Thank you so much for all your kind words and thoughts. I have tears streaming down my face.

The last few days have been a blur. We laugh at memories one minute, then we realise she's gone and we sib our hearts out the next.

She free of pain now and she hasn't got to fight anymore.

She was my best friend in the world as well as the best mum in the world, so I have been a very, very lucky girl.

Thanks again girls. Love to you all xxx

p.s. AF has arrived! I think mummy sent it for me!! xx

Me too

Such willpower! I'm so impressed!

CD35 here, and oh, look at that, im still waiting!

Flumpy the whole point in treating yourself is getting something indulgent, frivolous even - to cheer yourself up. Maybe when dh takes you out tomorrow you can have some champagne to toast in the new month The last few months when af came instead of drowning my sorrows I decided to celebrate the new month to kind of give it good luck. Sounds silly but it meant that I could drink for a good cause rather than a bad one. Mind you, I don't know if I could have kept that going beyond another 3 months. Having got used to these celebrations, the flip side is that now I can't drink and I am craving alcohol I have found some nice German beer (0.5%)and though I don't usually drink beer it is doing the trick nicely (one bottle a few times a week can't hurt I would imagine).

Jhyesmum - so sorry to hear about your mum. It's good to know that it was a peaceful moment with all of you there by her side.

Jhyesmum - so sorry to hear about your Mum, lovely that you could all be with her though. I hope you are all okay and holding each other together. It's now nearly a year since I lost my Mum, it broke my heart to see her go but to see her face peacefull and free from pain at last was comforting. Sorry to gatecrash the thread but I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and if you ever need to talk let me know. Big hugs, Bec x

You're right Soph, this site has been an absolute god-send for me. I'm being driven crazy at the mo beause my sis has an absolutely gorgeous 7 weeks old little boy and he reminds me of everything me & DH should have had by now. It's like I have to pretend that everythings great and we're doing fine because my family are so happy with the new arrival. Don't get me wrong, I love my little nephew to pieces; but he's a painful reminder of everything I have lost and having to try again.

I'm walking around with a fake smile while inside I'm screaming, crying and stomping my feet like a little girl Then I can come on here and have a moan to all of you because you know how frustrating it can be. Thanks!

Ooooooh yummy chips, I want some!

I might get some chocolate on my din-dins

Flumpy - sounds like a good idea to me I know how you feel about it all feeling a little hopeless sometimes. I´m so pleased I´ve found this site so at least I´ve got like-minded people to talk to. It´s not easy when none of your friends know you´re ttc and you have to keep this fixed grin on your face when all you want to do is scream from the rooftops (lol). At least you´ve got your other half to comfort you and take you out to lunch - yummy It´s chip day at school today so have been cheered up by that. Me and dh have had a bit of a falling out and because we work at the same place I can´t avoid him or scream at him, so I needed cheering up and the chips will help

Hi Soph,

I think we should both be moving over to the June thread, but it seems a bit quiet over there so we can lurk on here a bit longer!

xx

Thanks girls.

I'm sorry for making you all yesterday. I took your advise Scorpio and cried and snotted all over DH and it helped. It made me feel so much better that he felt the same. He said he had been really down yesterday too because af had arrived and he tried to reassure me that our time will come.
I know it will but it just all feels so hopeless sometimes.

Anyway I'm full of cold (so obviously my bodies just not ready yet). I feel a bit better today and thanks for listening. It's so nice to know that I have you guys on hear who listen when I feel like everyone else around me is totally oblivious to how I might be feeling.

Plummy, I very nearly hit the shops yesterday lunch to treat myself but I chickened out thinking I would buy something really Frivolous that I'd regret
DH is taking the afternoon off tomorrow and taking me out for lunch so that'll be a nice treat

Thanks for all your good luck wishes for June, fingers crosssed it will be my month. But I might lurk on here for a bit longer if that's ok

MrsMc and Plummy hope everything is fab with you both!

I've still got absolutely everything crossed for you Scorpio!

Fruitful, I sometimes think I'd love twins but then reality hits and I remind myself how hard it would be with just one let-alone 2!

xx

Morning all

Fruitful - one of my main fears when I found out I was pregnant with ds was having twins. Mainly because twins are quite common in dh´s family (don´t know whether that would mean we would have twins!) All I could think of was "how would I cope" and having to buy two sets of everything (lol), but now I think it wouldn´t be too bad

(slinks away to think about that last statement!)

Plummy - there is a parent at ds's nursery who has a dd a bit older than mine, a ds a bit older than mine, and is having twins next week. I too think "ooh wouldn't that be lovely" about twins (particularly since I'd like 4 kids but this might have to be my last pg). But then I look at that lady and quake with fear that it might happen to me!

Oh Flumpy! Phtooey. Ratfinks. And other polite swearing!

Jhyesmum - I am so sorry sending you hugs. I really hope you get some happy news soon.

Flumpy huge hug for you too.

Hang on in there ladies, your time will come fingers crossed for you all.

That last one was for flumpy.

Yr post made me feel sad too Lots of luck for June. Try and treat yourself to something nice to make you feel better.

Hi there everyone. I am so annoyed, I have just tried to send a message updating you all and my computer went bugshit!! So here goes again ...

DS was off school again with nasty stomach bug but is much better now. DH very happy bunny as the house has been tidied, dinner was prepared before he got home, ironing done and I was quite relaxed so loads of bding (so I´m also a very happy chappy )

Anyway, sorry not to send individual messages this time but I haven´t yet caught up with all your messages

Should I be moving to June thread?

Flumpy, your post made me too.im sorry to hear its cd1 - i think we all have a little cry when af omes, i know i do.i normally snot and cry all over dp!!

Your cycles sound like they are around 33 days - so if you get later than 33days on next cycle, you could in theory test if you wanted!

Hello ladies,

I'm so so sorry Jhyesmum, words cannot describe how it feels to lose someone so precious. My thoughts are with you and my only advise would be to treasure every single memory with all of your heart..

Hi Scorpio, it certainly sounds like you're back to your usual cycles, which is good. At least now you can be sure where your up to if this months not a lucky one. But like Fruitful says there's still a good chance!

I'm wishing away the next 2 weeks for you plummy!!

Lol at you Frutiful - Popping out 3 eggs, I know have a very strange image in my head!

Well CD1 for me today I'm afraid. Yesterday was CD33, and af reared it's ugly head this morning so I assume that means my cycles are 33 days and today is therefore CD1? Have I got that right?

I kind of knew, I just didn't 'feel' pregnant but I couldn't help that little niggle that there just might be a chance. Well not this month
I was so so gutted this morning and must confess that I had a little cry in the shower.. I feel a bit better now but still so sad. Af arriving this morning has just made me realise how much I so want the chance to be a real mummy rather than a mummy to an angel.

I'm going to go now because I'm making myself cry and someone might come into my office..

Thanks for listening to me waffle on all month..
(Flumpy picks up her things and shuffles off to the June thread)
xxx