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Original poster

TTC after recurrent miscarriage

984 replies

LisaSimpsonsbff · 10/09/2017 11:48

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

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UnicornsandRainbows1 · 16/12/2017 21:16

Hoping it's okay to join still as I've (only) had two mcs. Had the surgical management last Friday, though not nearly as bad as the first one as haven't had bleeding in the last few days. DTD today because I'm a twat so unless by some miracle I'll ovulate very soon (which I highly doubt going by my positive tests), I'm done.

I'm running out of positive vibes for whenever this third pregnancy is (2 out of 2 is my current shitty record) so how the hell do you guys keep going? I've run out of my fucks to give from the last one which sounds horrible and have very little left in reserve.

FoxtrotSkarloey · 16/12/2017 16:53

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Haffertee4 · 16/12/2017 10:29

Thanks fox, that's reassuring I'm not concerned it's just annoying first it showed up early and Now i have no idea what size tampon to use or he long it's going to last. I just hate feeling like I don't know what is happening which happens a lot! Wink

FoxtrotSkarloey · 16/12/2017 09:46

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Haffertee4 · 16/12/2017 09:18

So talk to me about first period post miscarriage. I've not really had one before... after 1st miscarriage I fell pregnant with my daughter straight away ( as a side note thought maybe that would happen this time too and maybe my body does better straight after as she survived... but no ... which is making me rather down) second miscarriage had medical management and not everything was gone so was a long and drawn out process and went straight back in the pill as I couldn't face it again for a while.
Anyway this period started on Monday, pretty heavy and clotty but thought that was prob normal, then slowed and yesterday a little brown spotting so thought I was done. Then his morning bright red blood again with clots back to day one type flow. Is that normal?

BertieBotts · 15/12/2017 21:20

Well DH jokingly did something to my face earlier - I can't remember exactly what it was and I said Ouch, be careful of my boobs! He looked confused and said I didn't touch your boobs, I only touched your face.

Also the bobble on my Christmas jumper is giving me infuriating princess-and-the-pea sensations.

Another one early to bed here. I did force myself to stay up and write a shopping list.

However I have finished Christmas shopping. Might pick up another small item or two for DS but that's all really.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/12/2017 20:42

How are the boobs today bertie? Grin

I’m ewcmtastic. Twice today it’s felt like I’ve wet myself. Also completely exhausted so early to bed.

BertieBotts · 14/12/2017 17:39

Yes am v glad due before Xmas. Probably a week or less of the tww to go now. My bobs have been sore and bowels a bit loose (sorry!) but trying not to symptom spot.

Haffertee4 · 14/12/2017 16:13

You're a stronger woman than I, keepon!

keeponrunning85 · 14/12/2017 12:08

Ha ha Lisa! That pic definitely makes me feel better.

Haffertee I am intentionally making myself choose dark coloured knickers in the morning so that I can't inspect them!

Valley I've never used that test either so not sure what it is meant to look like but I think I can see a cross if that helps?

Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 14/12/2017 12:07

I'd definitely second the recommendation for a FRER - even when they're faint they're clear, if that makes sense. Good luck!

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Valley16 · 14/12/2017 12:05

Thank you foxtrot! I'm going to get a frer and do it tomorrow x

FoxtrotSkarloey · 14/12/2017 10:46

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Valley16 · 14/12/2017 10:03

Hello ladies, firstly sorry for all of the losses you've had secondly I'm really anxious myself, after my last miscarriage I told myself I'd be calm if I got a positive again. I'm not sure what to make of this as apparently clear blue give false positives.. what do you think? X

TTC after recurrent miscarriage
TTC after recurrent miscarriage
Haffertee4 · 14/12/2017 09:50

Morning everyone,

Excited for all those with little beans, Rooting for you all! There also seem too be lots of us with AF currently, going to be making xmas better with drinking and sex I think.

We are a crazy bunch aren't we, one of the things I thought when af showed was "at least I don't have to wear boring white pants over xmas so I can inspect them crazily for specks of blood".

Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 14/12/2017 09:13

When I got them out to take that photo I did think 'why on earth am I keeping these?!'. I might bin them today. To make matters even worse, I haven't taken a test since the first scan, so those 15 (I counted them!) were taken over three weeks - not far off one a day! It did make me feel a bit better because I've always been able to see all my previous ones 'fade out' before the bleeding started, and although it was shit I appreciated the warning - obviously I'm now past the point where that'll necessarily happen, so I've stopped taking tests!

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FoxtrotSkarloey · 14/12/2017 09:04

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Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 14/12/2017 08:43

To make you feel less crazy/out myself as more so, here is a picture of the giant collection of Things I Have Peed On In The Last Few Weeks. Does not include: internet cheapies (numerous), 4 digitals. I just did a quick calculation and I think I might have spent £100 on tests...

TTC after recurrent miscarriage
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Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 14/12/2017 08:36

Sorry about AF schnitzel. Was it you who was worried about cycles not getting back to normal? Apologies if not, but if so I guess it's some sort of silver lining?

Keepon I think it's basically impossible not to be a crazy lady at this stage! I never used to believe that a line is a line - I always thought, yes, but a darker line is a much better sign - but this pregnancy started with really rubbish lines, far lighter than all the ones I miscarried early, and the line even disappeared at one point (leading to a freak out that you might remember!) - and while obviously it's far too early to call how this one will end, it's by far the furthest I've got, and obviously it definitely wasn't a chemical, so now I think that a line really is a line, and can't tell you much about how things are going in there! It's so frustrating trying to guess - I was saying to DH that I wish my abdomen and uterus were see-through or something (which would obviously actually be disgusting!) so that I could check how things were whenever I felt like it!

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keeponrunning85 · 14/12/2017 08:29

Sorry to hear about AF Schnitzel.

I have been behaving like a mad woman and peed on 2 sticks in the past 24 hours. Did the second FRER yesterday after work and a boots one this morning which was a 25 sensitivity. Both positive but have been working myself up that the lines weren't as dark as I would have liked even though I KNOW that a line is a line. Anyway, I have no more sticks to pee on and am determined not to but anymore. Just feel convinced this is going to end up being a chemical but at least I have reached the point where AF is actually late now.

Bleurgh. Sorry for the word vomit there.

Miami81 · 14/12/2017 06:20

Schnitzel I am sorry that AF is here. We won't be trying straight away, unless the meeting with the consultant next week tells us that there is no reason at all not to, and even then I think it will be a good few months before we get back into that head space. We shall see.
Part of me wants to try straight away, but it is all so terrifying. I read on one of the babyloss forums and one of the ladies was saying that they decided to go for it straight away as it was going to be terrifying no matter what they did and they may as well just get it over with. And I can completely understand that logic, my DH on the other hand is backing away from it quite rapidly. He was asking me about egg freezing yesterday, I didn't want to burst his bubble but I don't think drugs and ovulation stimulation and more hospitals is where I particularly want to go with this right now, I just want to be pregnant and have a baby. Which seemed like such a simple prospect 2 years ago and now just seems like such an ordeal.
Sorry for ranting, I do appreciate you ladies willingness to have me here. It helps.

SchnitzelVonCrummsTum · 13/12/2017 23:06

If you would like a tentative cycle buddy then AF is here for me too Miami although obviously our emotional situations do not at all compare. Sending hugs - you've been through so much and extremely mixed emotions are very understandable. Re: cycle buddying, I'm not sure whether you're planning to try again straight away so please ignore me if that's not helpful. xxx

keeponrunning85 · 13/12/2017 22:17

Miami I am not surprised you're experiencing mixed emotions. I don't have anything to say other than I'm so sorry you're not welcoming your baby girl into the world but I'm also glad you're not waiting for AF anymore.

Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 13/12/2017 15:32

Oh Miami I'm both glad that your AF has arrived confirming that your body is getting back to its rhythms - I'm glad you don't have to wait for it any more - and at the same time so, so sorry. It must be horribly mixed emotions and it makes perfect sense that it's a relief in some ways and very painful in others.

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Miami81 · 13/12/2017 11:26

So almost exactly 11 weeks after having my beautiful baby girl my period has arrived!! To very mixed emotions - glad that I don't seem to be broken physically (which was really really starting to stress me out) but just so fucking sad that it has come to this. Instead of randomly giving birth today I am sat here bleeding and being thankful that it has actually happened. Life is properly weird sometimes.
Welcome Eastend - we managed to get some testing done after 2 mc's due mainly to a very sympathetic GP backing us up. It seems to be luck of the draw but generally yes you will struggle to get referred due to having your dc (this happened to my good friend, they actually said to her that there couldn't be anything wrong as she had a child, it was all very heartless the way she was treated). There are always options for private tests if that is feasible for you.