TTC after recurrent miscarriage

I whole heartedly agree with the wine Fox! TTC/miscarriage is miserable enough as it is. I've never been able to get on board with the no alcohol at all thing. The arrival of AF always requires comiserating with alcohol in my opinion. (Also, plenty of alcoholics still manage to have babies.)

anne I think - and this is only going from what ive read - that those who have trouble conceiving need help regulating there periods and ovulation, so the frequency then need is obviously going to be higher as they need help throughout their cycle.

For me, I think as I told her I have had 7 so far, she can see I have no problem getting pregnant (although whose to say, we just dont know what the next time will bring), but as she was wobbling the little needles she just kept mentioning the fact my womb was damp and cold and any baby would be clinging on trying to survive but wouldn't be able to as it was so cold.

And don't at all be worried about breaking down. At my last MC, I had to explain once again to the lovely scan lady that I wouldnt be needing one, she got up and hugged me. I thought once I said 7 Mc's I too would wobble but I didnt, held it together and got through it, I dont know whether to be scared that it's become so matter of fact for me, but whatever the reason I just brushed it off and just went with an open mind, whatever happens its not going to kill you so try and stay positive and use it as a time to relax.

Morning all. Af is gone, boobs no longer hurt, usual service shall resume

What a load of awful stuff going on bertie, I'm so sorry. Healing thoughts to your FIL and I'm so terribly sorry about your friend

But happy things to look forward to as well, especially your son's birthday.

Have you any luck putting on weight?

God flynn, you too. I admire you keeping your head up despite the shower of shit, and I couldn't agree with you more about doing anything and everything that feels right and like you're helping yourself.

And yes to shouting at the sky on occasion Foxtrot. Bastard sky.

I have the same feeling niggling sometimes that there was nothing wrong with my MMC baby, factually scientifically nothing wrong at all, so crap chance aside, there's something wrong with me that stopped her from developing. My other two (first of the 4 was years and years ago and was also early, I don't really count it) were earlier and probably never really got off the ground, so could have chromosomal, but what about the one the middle?

The consultant is sure a lot of women have clotting issues that can't be diagnosed and says he has great outcomes from treating serial miscarriers as though they do have clotting issues. But at the back of my mind is the worry it's not that and he's so dead set on it we'll end up there again as it's just the one approach and it'll just keep happening.

I haven't had any tests for NK cells or karyotyping. He seemed so sure he'll just magically fix whatever's wrong with me with his little pre-filled syringes nothing else has been discussed. Weirdly, maybe, he's as happy for me to do nothing differently next time around and just have all the usual fortnightly scans they offer and just hope for the best. But I don't feel we have the time to piss around and keep doing the same things hoping for a different outcome!

Feeling very positive about my acupuncture on Saturday. She seems so lovely and we've had a nice email exchange. I'm worried as I haven't talked about it all for a while that I'm going to break down and howl. Factually I'm fine saying what's happened but when people are nice it's too much! Sure she's seen it all before though.... When I saw the GP nurse for my first B12 jab after the second one she ended up crying and hugging me. It was nice in a way but also bloody awful. It's like absorbing other people's pain on your behalf. I find my own pain enough sometimes!

flynn why did she say the frequency of treatment is affected by how easily you conceive? That's interesting. How often do you have to conceive to say you do it easily? I can't imagine having had as many losses as you've been through - not to make my sadness for you your problem! - but you have my heartfelt admiration for cracking on x

Alright today lisa?

bertie I get it completely, Last year we lost my nan who brought me up, in april I lost my stepdad and on sunday just gone we lost my fil - along with 6 Mc's thats a hell of a lot of bad luck as my consultant likes to keep saying they all are.

But I've realised I can sit and wallow and do what the dr's tell me, or I can be positive, keep on fighting for what I want and try everything I can - Ive chose the latter. Im all for following dr's orders but when I keep hitting a brick wall and they keep saying oh its just bad luck I cant just sit and accept that. 1 or 2 possibly bad luck - 7 miscarriages means there is an underlying reason this keeps on happening, and the fact they havent found it yet means they havent done the correct test for it. Im so over accepting what im told! Are you paying privately for the geneticist? I assume that this is the test they would be doing for you anyway, you could try to bump up your appointment though as Jan is a very long time to wait! I fully expect to be told on thursday that the tests picked nothing up and to keep on trying, They only seem very interested in when I actually was pg and were trying to sign me up to some trial for progesterone.

keeponrunning as for acu. She said because I can get pg easily she would only need to treat me once a month, we've not discussed treatment for when/ If I did get pregnant again, although im sure I can just ring and ask if needed. For now i'm focusing on taking each day as it comes, working on my diet - I tend to eat on the rush and its usually crap food choices, her telling me I need to stop eating cold foods from the fridge has really make me take a look at what I eat and work out a meal plan.

Yesterday I had cramping all day long in the uterus area and was so tired, I ended up in bed at 8 just after ds went to bed, Still feel like i could sleep all day, and according to the acu dr this is a good sign, my energy levels are being restored and the blood flow to the uterus is restoring my balance (or something, I couldn't really make out all of what she say saying if im honest )

We must be due for some good news soon, right?

Thanks for wishes all. I think I forgot to say we have an appointment with a geneticist in January. So it's sit tight and wait for that. Luckily we have DS's birthday in a couple of weeks and then it will be hallowe'en (not that we do much for that but it is a friend's wedding anniversary and they are expecting, and sometimes the expat group I'm in do a closed trick or treat thing) and Christmas and new year, and then we're in January! So not too long to hold on really. And three (ish) chances to get pregnant before then, whether it sticks or not.

Sorry you're having such a tough time Bertie. I hope life throws you a break soon.

I'm interested to hear more about the accupuncture. I've considered it on and off. Have they recommended you go for a weekly session?

At the moment I'm veering between thinking my op is going to solve all my problems, I'll get instantly upduffed after it and have a perfect pregnancy and thinking it isn't going to make any difference, I'll probably end up with scar tissue and never get pregnant again. A tiny part of me feels that if there were complications and I have to have an emergency hysterectomy that wouldn't be so bad because at least the decison would be made for me.

Need to put my big girl pants on today. Going to visit my best friend and her 3 and a half week old little boy after work.

Great, thanks for the welcome all! :)

I am waiting for AF and it's taking its sweet time. Spotting and spotting and spotting and my temps have fallen but DH is getting hopeful and I just know I'm not pregnant. We're having a shitty time at the moment as his return to work after injury is not going the smoothest, FIL has just had surgery to remove cancer and we're anxiously waiting to hear how it went (he's woken up which is all the news we have so far!) and we've lost a friend to a horrible car accident :(

I can't believe it takes so long to get karyotype results. I've heard this on the BT group as well. It's making me really anxious and wonder if we should try and get the test ordered before we see the geneticist? It would be so frustrating to have waited so long (almost 2 years!) to get the appointment to be told we have to wait months and months for testing.

thankyou anne, yeah I was gutted too, it feels like the last year has been spent waiting for results or appointments with that clinic, the usual wait time is 6-8 weeks between them, then longer if you need tests, I've waited 6 months already for these karyotyping results, I get them this thursday and will then see what else is offered.

The acupuncture was just because i felt I needed to do something while im waiting for the results. But im the same as you suddenly think my damp womb is the reason behind everything and drinking chinese herbs will cure me . I can dream for a while anyway!

I don't have low vitae's D but as an issue it's exploded the last couple of years so in covering my bases I'm taking a supplement. I don't think you can overdose on it. I'm on this one: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B06ZZLYYVC/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Glad you've got a nice doctor.

Hey Bertie

Lisa, we're not instigating hard and fast rules are we? Anyone in a similar boat is welcome

I've had a lovely email exchange with an acupuncturist and have first appointment on Saturday! Obviously been googling like a loon and have decided it's the miracle cure and I'll be knocked up in a month.....

Bit worried about writing a blank cheque and finding myself chomping on herbs. Yuck.

Flynn your description is so interesting, thank you. I'll compare notes at the weekend. I'm so pleased you've found a better clinic. The way the first one treated you was shocking and I was gutted for you.

What's happening with you now? Have you had all the tests or are you waiting on some?

Completely understand where you're coming from bertie (So sad how many names im recognising still), for me a bfp is stress, anxiety, insomnia and symptom spotting to the point I drive myself mad.

If I were to get pg again I don't think id be able to eax until I actually have the baby in my arms.

I've just seen BTW on the translocation facebook group that some NHS trusts are no longer testing for translocations because "most couples with a translocation get a baby eventually" which is such bullshit! Eventually is relative, and no, not everyone does anyway, which is crap when they have the possibility to screen embryos.

So if you've had 3 unexplained miscarriages, especially if there's family history on either side of infertility/miscarriages/chromosomal disorders and you haven't been offered karyotyping you should ask if it's offered, if it's not offered, consider paying for a private one, it's about £400.

Hi all, would I be okay to join this thread? I have only had two miscarriages so not officially "recurrent" but DH has a balanced translocation which means that we have a really high chance of repeat miscarriages. I have enjoyed the other thread but feel like this one might be a more comfortable place for me, as I'm happily reassuring others on the other thread that they are not very likely to miscarry again even though I know for me that while we might get lucky and beat the odds, the odds aren't that good! I also feel like I'd be happier with the kind of company who understand that when I get pregnant I'm really not going to be hoping for a baby until quite a lot further into it. It's just too difficult so I prefer to see early pregnancy as a stepping stone rather than the final goal so to speak.

First though I would very much like to get pregnant again as it's been a year and I'm really frustrated about that.

Glad you enjoyed the acupuncture Flynn. I found it so relaxing too. I'd forgotten about the pulse and tongue checking. Acupuncturists seem very in tune with different bodily signs.

I will do some research to find out about my local hospital and reviews if I can. It's a big busy hospital so guess it will be good if I can get seen but may be hard to get appointment.

Hi all, to the new ones too! You'll come to realise im crap at keeping up with everyone's stories so apologies now If I miss you out!

mog as anne said it does depend on where you live, we both had a mc's at around the same time and anne's appt was fairly quick where mine was made, cancelled, then changed, cancelled again etc. Its been pretty much like that ever since, the final straw was they lost my blood results! so Ive switched hospitals now thankgod, further to travel but they seem to be fab so far!

So anyway what I came on here to say was i had my acupuncture today - If anyone is thinking about it please do it. I had my reservations at 1st but the lady was lovely, I hadnt told receptionist why I was there so the dr came out to greet me, we go in have a chat, she takes my pulse on 1 wrist, then the other and tells me I need to rest, she asked to look at my tongue and says My energy levels are too low, then she asks how she can help and I tell her ive had 7 Mc's, the history etc, she nearly fell off her chair when I said 7 and kept repeating it to me to make sure I was right.

So she went onto explain that after 1 mc the womb is damaged, to have another pg when the womb is not repaired will do further damage to it, explained it like trying to keep a car going with things breaking off it. Then she again took my pulse felt my belly and told me I have too much damp in my body, which she needed to get out of the womb.

She started the acupuncture by putting needles in my lower legs, 1 at top of groin under belly, each elbow and 2 in my forehead, she waggled the belly 1 quite a bit - None of this hurt by the way!

Then she rubbed something like heat rub on my nose, massaged my head for a bit and left me to relax for half an hour, it was pure bliss! after my time was up she came in took them all out and said there was a build up of moisture in my womb and each session she would release it for me to help future pg's stay. She has also ordered me some herbs to take as a tea and I'll get these next week, this will warm up the womb and draw out more moisture. She told me I may feel the effects today or tomorrow but shouldn't fear anything bad happening.

After around an hour of this happening, My arms were sweating - Nowhere else on my body but my arms just kept feeling wet. I wonder if this is the moisture coming out. I also went in with ov cramps - dp is away so nothing will be happening this week/month, but the cramps stopped during the treatment.

I go back next Monday, if nothing comes of this I really enjoyed an hour to myself chilling out and can highly recommend it just look after yourself for a bit.

Totally with you on the 'so and so had 500 miscarriages and then had 10 babies' and 'at least you can get pregnant' comments. I know people mean well. One of my good friends suggested to me at the beginning of the year that what I needed to do was decide to be positive when I woke up in the morning. This was about a month after miscarriage number 3 and a few days after finding my out my best friend was pregnant her first month of trying. I just about managed to refrain from punching her in the face.

I think my brain is working over time. The past 3 nights I've had 2 dreams about my op and one about miscarrying a tiny, transparent cat.

Have been feeling rather mopey today. Not helped by the fact that my post-work supermarket shop was hampered by them rearranging the entire shop including having moved shower gel into the baby aisle!!!

Anyway, anyone got a recommendation for where to buy Ubiquinol from? I need to get back on it.