TTC after recurrent miscarriage

Mog I hope you feel more relaxed soon. For me I think although it might come across as pessimistic to others I've decided to be matter of fact about early pregnancy and assume that it won't work out. I've banished my demons about negative/positive thinking affecting the outcome - it doesn't, that way of thinking doesn't put me in control, it just makes me anxious and obsessive compulsive - and while I'm sure I'll be hopeful and really rooting for the pregnancy to be successful, knowing that it might not seems to make it easier when it doesn't.

Not to say that others shouldn't be positive if it works for you but it doesn't work for me and that's okay - we're not all the same I think it can be helpful to identify if another strategy is actually more comfortable for you rather than going along with whatever strategy seems to be the most popular.

It's Sunday - I often get spikes at the weekend because either I've had a drink the night before or because I've woken up later. Sometimes it doesn't affect it but sometimes even an hour's lie in is a jump of about half a degree! But if your ovulation is due wait and see if it stays up tomorrow.

Temping keeps me sane because yes it reassures me that things are still working properly despite lack of BFPs.

It's the best! I need the validation I'm functioning properly in spite of no BFP these days

Glad yours showed up Lisa. Hope mine does too eventually.

I had really reliable ewcm and stabbing on the same day for months but they're not matching up the last couple of cycles. Same pain again when I woke up but it's faded now. Annoying.

How long's your LP Lisa?

You've been my temping guru bertie!

I had a massive spike today after the most level unpeaky cycle yet since I started.

Yes! I also have been temping so long I can normally predict whatroughly the temperature will be so I get all pleased when I'm right.

Definitely go for an early scan to reassure you all is going well mog.

No more stabbing today and temps show I haven't ovulated yet. Had good acupuncture session this morning and a lovely busy day.

Really strong cramping pains this evening. Very bloated and sore, same as the other day. Not quite af pain and not constant but really sore. Not a clue what it is but i don't like it

Thanks for asking. I'm feeling OK, but a bit fed up that this year is changing me. I'm normally positive and think the best until I know otherwise, but it's really hard to keep thinking that about pregnancy. I haven't had signs of miscarriage before and they have only been shown by scans few weeks after growth stopped. Epu said after last miscarriage that I could go for early scan after 7 ish weeks next time. So think I'll do that in couple of weeks.

To be fair we don't much do it at other times of the month these days I find my cervix is too low during my period, then it's FW, the week after we've lost interest/need a break and then the week leading up to my period I am rarely interested and get too easily distracted. It happens sometimes but not that much.

That's makes sense on sperm health mog, absolutely.

How are you feeling? I'm so excited you're pregnant

That's good bertie, have we all weirdly fallen into sync?! You too lisa? Had no feelings today at all till I got the familiar ovulation stab in my left ov area that was so violent I doubled over while cooking dinner! Bang on schedule. Don't know what the other pain was about.

I'm still not over the novelty of a lovely husband who actually likes shagging me (was a major issue with xh) so we tend to do it every day throughout the month with the odd day or two off but I've definitely seen people say every other day can be beneficial to ttc and it's much better than getting knackered too quickly and then missing the window. For me it's a habit as much as anything. I sort of assume we'll dtd then if one of us is tired or doesn't feel up for it we don't and that's cool too. No sex during/post mmc was an absolute bastard, physically I was obviously a wreck but it was the longest we'd ever not done it and I didn't realise how dependent I was on it as a way to unwind, destress, be close, get to sleep. Bad times.

I hope the funeral wasn't too tough flynn. Your poor DP. I'm sure you've been a huge comfort to him. DH has never been to a funeral. He's 41! Lucky sod.

We don't often do it every night at fertile time, if we did I don't think we would do it for rest of month. My main rule is not first time in a while when I think ovulation, ie I believe sperm healthier if not waiting around too long. But that may be total fiction!

Interesting that there are a few of you in sync with each other.

To be fair it's not like we've done every day every month but some cycles it seemed to happen like that - especially when DH broke his foot, he got very bored sat at home every day! If it's not TMI I am highly context driven with sex so when there's something like the possibility of pregnancy, or some kind of novelty I seem to be up for it all the time Whereas at other times I could happily go weeks or even months without a sniff of action. If I look back over fertility friend you can see where the shine of TTC obviously started to wear off and we hardly managed it at all but then with lots of time at home it bounced back again. 2-3 days seems doable and sensible though.

Same here, keepon I cant be bothered with the every day approach - maybe thats where im going wrong though!

This month were properly back to trying so will see how we go for every 2 days. We had fil's funeral on wednesday and that was the 1st time we dtd in around 5 weeks due to the stress of everything, so its nice to see dp getting back to his old self - obviously still grieving but hes not stressed and wound up as he used to be.

I'm not sure if it works like a scratch mog. That is a very good question. I don't know if the healing time afterwards negates any scratch like benefits.

Sounds like a great plan Bertie. I've never been up for the every day approach unless we're on holiday if I'm honest!

I'm getting loads of fertile CM so must be in FW.

DH has decided our strategy this month is not to do it every day. So we're going to stick exactly to the NICE guidelines and do it every 2-3 days :o

Flynn - I know I should and generally have been doing less and sleeping more, mostly because that's what I feel like doing. But part of me doesn't want to stop doing too many things, because I have been pregnant for more of this year than I haven't and cant put life totally on hold. Have quite a few painting jobs round the house I wish I'd done before like you are. That can wait now though!

Maybe you could try the other acupuncture once to compare. They all seem to do it slightly differently and you might prefer it. I've not been given tablets so no guarantee they will consistent with that though. Do you feel like they are doing something helpful, other than wee?

Hope everyone is Ok and not too worried about things.

Hey all, keepon Sorry I'd missed where you said you were having surgery before, Have everything crossed for you but im sure it will go fine!.

Mog yeah you need to make an appointment and get yourself some rest. Mine told me if i were to become pg again I wasnt to do any manual work - which is why im now painting the hall so I wont be thinking of doing it should I suddenly get a bfp!

This weeks session actually hurt, I think she stuck 2 needles into my nerves on my lower leg so all the way through I couldn't move and was getting slight shocks. I wish I could also understand her more but she barely speaks any english, The tablets are to make my uterus warmer, to rid any damp in my body, I have been weeing to the point I may as well move onto the toilet!

I did catch where she said if i got my bfp to call her and she would change the tablets. the next lot would be to promote warmth and strength to the uterus and the blood supply which would give the baby a chance of clinging on. I'm skeptical but also optimistic about any of this working.

There is a new lady in the area who is also advertising acupuncture and im thinking of switching to her, shes closer & cheaper too so thats a bonus, and I may also be able to understand her, just worried if someone has prescribed me tablets this new one wont be able to have the same supply.

I am feeling annoyed with myself for working too much today and not making an appointment, so not as relaxed and refreshed as I should be. Yes I think I want to keep going to acupuncture throughout, partly because it is nice to have the break to relax properly and chat to someone neutral about how I'm feeling. Wonder if she knows she is part therapist! She only works near me on a Thursday so need to wait until next week now.

Keep - I never knew about a uterine septum until looking it up, interesting how our body's can develop inside without knowing. I hope it helps give the magic fix for you. might it help with implantation like the scratch does?

Anne - I don't think I have had pains like that. Hopefully doing something good not bad. Fingers crossed that the sperm and egg have found each other.

You're not prying Anne, don't worry. The surgery is to remove as much of my uterine septum as possible, with the hope that it'll lead to a successful pregnancy. There isn't a huge amount of evidence to support it, but it is the only thing that has shown up on tests so far.

I had been feeling a bit better thanks. Not quite so good today but I have been off work and I do rely quite heavily on work to occupy my mind. So not looking forward to being off after my op! I'm going to go to running club in half an hour and that usually helps.

I know what you mean about Miami. It must be absolutely devastating. Even if I ever make it beyond the first 8 weeks I don't think I will relax until the baby is here.

Good luck with FW Bertie Enjoy!

Glad things have been better in bed Lisa, bless all of our men, we at least have each other and I do wonder what the DPs/DHs would say if they had a thread! So good you can talk about it, really important, and he's being honest with you and you're finding a way through together.

Have you had a session this week flynn? I'm back Saturday, feeling really positive about it! And DM's bringing my magical oils along tonight... Has the sweaty hands thing happened to you since the first time? And what are the pills?

My woman hasn't mentioned diet at all which was surprising. But maybe she will. You'll have to take up cross words or knitting or something when you're pregnant! Still but keeps your mind and hands busy

Are you feeling calmer this week keepon? Will the surgery make TTC easier or is it a side issue? Sorry, I don't want to pry.

Mog, hope you're feeling well and as relaxed as possible! Let us know what she says. Do you expect to continue with sessions throughout?

I'm doing alright. Had a strange feeling in my lower tummy yesterday and today. Not crampy, not ov shabby (though I think I might have ovd yesterday), but like a localised ache, lower than ovary level, more behind the knicker line, quite far in. It hurt when I was walking when my right foot touched the ground. Not that bad at all but just hanging around. Feels gynaecologist not gastro. And it's probably a weird ov symptom.

I'm beyond heartbroken about Miami, it stopped me in my tracks completely. To think you could get that close to the end and then lose your baby is too much. I know people get through this, and worse, but it's hard to imagine how.