TTC after recurrent miscarriage

Sorry for your losses Scaryduck and for what you've been through. Glad you found us though and hope you find this a helpful thread. I'm in the same boat having caught every time for 3 BFPs and now it's been a while. I've recently started acupuncture, which won't be for everyone but I'm finding it helpful and chinese medicine woo aside, she did make the point that after the battering my body has taken she's not surprised that despite well timed shagging and all the vitamins I'm rattling with, my system has probably been focussed on healing rather than doing it all again for a few months. Which makes sense and made me feel a wee bit better. I hope you're looking after yourself, with whatever makes you feel as alright as you can

I got my crosshairs! CD15 Bertie Still giving me high chances in FF, which is nice. God I've become dependent on virtual pats on the back.... So sad!

What do you make of the big dip again? It's only just over the coverline. Does that mean I'm out or would you only expect elevated temps post ov when pregnant after implantation if/when?

Noo it's a great username, simple and memorable :o I'm slightly concerned I must swear a lot for it to not choose duck. Anyway am on computer now so you are safe.

I can definitely see that the group might get a bit much, I am still in the gathering all info stage because it's frustrating me that we only know the merest hint. But being on the group definitely brought me down to earth on statistics and chances etc and it was very sobering reading for a while. At the moment I'm enjoying the success stories and it's not too much but I think it will be more real when we get the karyotype done and sit down and have the results explained. We have had two miscarriages at 5w4d but recently nothing for just over a year now, which is almost more frustrating in my mind than the miscarriages were, though they were horrible. I have read that BT can cause embryos to be rejected straight away rather than implanting properly as well as causing miscarriage, and that there are several combinations possible from each translocation so it could be that one particular combo caused our two miscarriages, and another one is causing this lack of... anything, but it's just a theory really. DH has had a sperm analysis which came back fine but I know they don't pick up unbalanced sperm like that.

That's why I'm here on recurrent though rather than TTC after miscarriage general, because I know we have higher odds of miscarriage in the first place and the relentlessly positive attitudes of other TTC areas are, like you say, difficult. Totally appropriate for them but I would rather be more conservative and pessimistic until we know everything is okay.

Haha Bertie have realised I may not have chosen the best new user name....
I know ALL about my translocation, it took over my life for a while and I have researched everything there is to research. I was on the FB group but have unfollowed as it was all getting a bit much for me. Ultimately there is nothing I can really do but try again and accept the likelihood of more MCs. Sorry to hear about your DH's as well, it sucks.

Sorry for my phone's terribly dirty vocabulary.

HI Scary Fuck! DH has a translocation too - first time I've come across another on here. Do you know much about yours? DH only knows that he's had it because his mum had testing during pregnancy, we're waiting to see a geneticist in January and get more information. Are you on the Facebook group?

Hi all, can i join? Just found this thread, I don't usually look at the conception pages these days, too depressingly optimistic for me! I have lost 3 pregnancies - 2 MMCs and 1 TFMR - all to unbalanced chromosomes cause by a translocation. In the past I have got pregnant easily but it’s taking a bit longer this time - every month is a mix of disappointment, and sheer relief at not having to go through it all again for a while longer. I’m in my fertile week just now though and making a real effort this month - I figure if I get pregnant now, it gives me time for a MC and back to normal in time for Christmas. Such a horrible way to look at it…

Sorry to see everyone else’s stories too, but glad to have found this thread. I don’t think I fit in on the other TTC threads, or the infertility threads, and can’t ever see myself on the pregnancy threads! As for not telling people about TTC etc, I didn’t tell a single person about my last pregnancy (except DP obviously), it makes me feel guilty as though I didn’t even acknowledge the baby but I can’t take any more pity from anyone!

Sorry been busy today and tired now, so not read all the posts fully, but looked at the charts.

Lisa - hopefully temp will go up tomorrow to not give added confusion and confirm ovulation.

Anne - maybe you have a slow temperature rise after ovulation and could have been day 11 or 12. Was that when you first started getting pain?

Bertie - wow interesting seeing all charts together like that. You seem to get a dip post ovulation quite often.

And Anne - totally agree about not wanting some people to know, as then they know you are trying to conceive and the added questions and pressure that gives.

Yes I definitely do, and it's one of the reasons that I haven't told that many people about our mcs or been open on fb etc.

I just took Screenshots and then stuck them all together!

Thank you Bertie You're so kind and it makes the whole thing less shit and lonely having people to share it all with. Thanks for the pic. How do you get one of those?

Just back from Pilates. Really enjoying feeling stronger and more flexible.

One of the things I'm finding a bit crap at the moment is people who know about the mcs knowing we're ttc. I'd never have told a soul as who wants to know we're having unprotected sex! But it's obviously out there now that we've been at baby making for a while. It's lovely people care but every now and then a friend or nice colleague shoots me a look and asks if there's any news. I know it comes from a kind place but I want to snap no there's bloody no news, thanks for reminding me. Or no, but if there was I'd have told you when I wanted to and assuming I'm ever pregnant again I won't be telling a soul till I absolutely have to so please don't bloody ask. No one asks DH do they? Is he still optimistically shagging his wife and hoping it works one month?

I'm probably being narky for no reason. But does anyone know what I mean?

There can be huge variance in patterns between cycles so there's nothing to worry about. Here are all of mine, hopefully it doesn't make them too small:

Oh yes Anne, I reckon you'll get crosshairs tomorrow and I think CD15 too but you've done every other day So I think you're absolutely covered, timing wise.

I don't have any crosshairs yet

That was my Sunday spike Bertie, and it's come down but it's still up, relatively.

Lisa, I've had dotted lines change to proper ones a couple of days later with an ov day a couple of days later twice now. And last cycle I had nothing and was starting to freak out despite two trips away and messed up sleep for it to then suddehtly tell me I was 6dpo!

No, not necessarily because it's still at a higher level than your average before plus you've got mostly open circles.

Sometimes you get a dip at 2-3dpo and then it goes back up, this is called a fallback rise. Sometimes you'll get a dip at 6-10 dpo which can be a sign of implantation (it happens about twice as often in pregnant charts as it does in non-pregnant charts.)

Like anything with temping you have to wait and see, you can't call it on a single low point like that, you have to look at it in retrospect.

It's given you dotted lines because you've got fertile mucous after the suspected ovulation date, that's all.

Crosshairs is related to basal body temperature. Your basal body temperature is your core temperature when you've just woken from sleep which is the lowest it will be all day (activity and eating and stuff can raise it.) Before ovulation it is consistently around half a degree lower than after ovulation (it switches again during your period) and during pregnancy it will be around half a degree higher again. So by taking your temperature with a sensitive digital thermometer every morning you can track these changes and plot them onto a chart (handily today, we can just stick them in an app and the app makes the chart ) and you can see where the rise occurs and so pinpoint when ovulation is likely to have been.

The app puts a vertical line to denote ovulation date and a horizontal line known as the "cover line" which basically just makes it easier to see which are the lower and which are the higher temps. So you get crossed lines which somehow ended up being called crosshairs, like that's what you're supposed to aim for

I haven't used OPKs myself but as I understand, if the test line is darker than the control line it's positive. If it's lighter or the same colour then it's negative, but the test will produce a line regardless.

I've never had any ovulation pain or physical signs of ovulation so the temping is useful for me, I probably would use sticks as well but at the moment it's an unnecessary expense. When we get some spare money if I haven't got pregnant by then I'll try it.

Anne, don't worry, it's not important to DTD the exact day of ovulation, as long as you've managed it at some point during the fertile window. Increased times of DTD doesn't actually increase your chances anyway, it's just the more days you do it the less chance you have of miscalculating and missing the fertile window entirely.

People can be so kind flynn, how thoughtful of her.

Crosshairs are on the fertility friend app and appear 3 days after you ovulate and it's comforted by 3 consistent elevated high temperatures. I'll post a pic.

I've never used OPK, I've really gone off peeing on sticks of any kind. I hate taking HPTs and OPKs strike me as mega stressful. But then I swore I'd never get into any of this stuff and temping has been a breeze, free, easy, nice little pat on the back once a month. I'm a sucker for a bit of virtual reassurance!

Can I ask what these crosshairs are? I used to do ov tests, just the cheapy ones, but even after 2 days f finishing my period they would show the line and I could never work out if it meant positive or negative as on the back it says if the line is there it is negative, it ifs a strong line its positive - Like how do you know!

A lovely lady last year was on one of these boards with me and once she got pg she sent me her clearblue ov tests she had left over as well as some chocolate and a little good luck card - I'll never forget how kind she was, and they were much simpler to use, even though You wait a while for them to show up. I may get them again actually as I don't use anything at the moment other than the same pain as anne described, always on my left side too and leaves me doubled over!

Im pretty sure Im due on soon, as weve not tried this month ive not been checking though, so want to be prepared to go fully at it soon as I know when day 1 is again!

Oh keepon, that sucks, sorry you're being surrounded. Your meal sounded good though! Go easy on yourself today.

I've woken up feeling pretty rested and aright. Still no magical crosshairs but temp stayed up, despite a bit of a drop. I have a feeling it's going to say I ovd CD15, the one day we haven't DTD, would be typical!

Happy Monday everyone.

I'm impressed with all of your dedication to the temping and OPKs. I had a vague go at OPKs (cheapies) for a couple of months but never got a positive so gave up. I am a terrible sleeper at the best of times so figured temping was probably a bit of a non-starter as I'm not sure how accurate it would be.

Two friends have announced the birth of their second babies this weekend, one of whom started trying for their first after us. So am having fish fingers, potato letters and beans for tea to cheer myself up! Cannot be bothered to make anything proper.

Bertie - I agree I don't think what you think affects the outcome, but I find it less stressful not to think of the worst outcomes. I deal with the bad parts when they come but not before. Saying that today I have been feeling very impatient to know if things are progressing how they should. Getting and being pregnant involves so much waiting and patience!

I love temping. But when my cycles are normal I only tend to do about 3 or 4 temperatures and 1 or 2 Opks a month to confirm what I expect. Doesn't give a satisfying chart, but is much lazier option.

Anne - So do you think today's spike was post ovulation spike?

Lisa - I've never waited 14 days post ovulation. I'm impressed you manage it.