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TTC after recurrent miscarriage

984 replies

LisaSimpsonsbff · 10/09/2017 11:48

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

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BertieBotts · 01/11/2017 14:17

My cousin's 30th birthday :) She's rented out a big country house up in the sticks on a Scottish island somewhere and we're all going to meet up there. I only know her, my sister, her boyfriend (vaguely) and possibly I've met a couple of her friends before, but I think it should be a lot of fun.

I'm quite hopeful we might even get to see the Northern Lights which would be amazing! I've wanted to see them ever since I've known that they were a thing.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/11/2017 13:46

That's so good you had a positive follow up Lisa, well done for having given the feedback, it's so so important they treat people well and with patience, compassion and the information they need. You'll already have improved the experience of the women who will sadly have to go through the same thing and that's so valuable.

I'm taking the coated aspirin you can get in any chemist or supermarket, I think Tesco was the cheapest but everyone's got it.

It's awful thinking about that process if it's necessary but really helpful to be clear. They tested mine which they removed during the MVA and the whole thing was so gentle and all the paperwork and explanations were easy to get to grips with - essential given the emotional state I was in. There was info on what they do with it afterwards which made me feel really respected and cared for. A small thing but it helped with the 3 in the morning freak outs about some of it. I imagine these things have come on loads over the last few years already and there should be one expectation that you, your partner and your baby/pregnancy/loss will be treated with kindness and consideration.

If I'd passed it at home the same stuff would have applied and they advised how to get and keep it, what would be tested, how it would be despised of after - in our Trust they're cremated with a service from a non-denominational vicar.

Anyway, hopefully it won't ever come to that and your next pregnancy will be as boring as possible with a chubby gorgeous baby at the end of it Smile.

That's exciting Bertie! What's the trip for? Sorry about your UTI, that sucks. More ABs? Hope you're better soon!

We've booked our NYE trip and are very excited. It has no phone signal, no wifi and no shower - but it does have a 4 poster bed and a massive copper bath in the bedroom! Planning to stock up on cheese, bread, wine and books. Can't wait! We're hosting my lot for xmas so we'll need some silence and space afterwards Grin

BertieBotts · 01/11/2017 12:46

I'm alright thank you! Still on antibiotics for my UTI :( Need to go back to the doctor tomorrow and follow up.

I'm getting excited about my trip to Scotland. Will def need to test ON that day which means BFP or party. I really like it when timing matches up like that.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/11/2017 11:36

Fingers crossed that the magic oil does the trick! Grin

I've convinced myself this cycle is a no-hoper, but obviously rationally it's far too early to know either way!

By the way, do you remember I complained/ 'gave feedback' to the hospital a while ago about my follow-up appointment? I got a really lovely phone call the other day; they were really kind, said they'd pass on my comments about appropriate language and that they'd look into having more written information (which they desperately need, as the verbal information I was given was so inadequate - for instance, this phone call revealed that I was supposed to be told to take aspirin from bfp, which no one ever mentioned!). She talked me through the most confusing bit of the appointment, the bit where she talked about collecting any pregnancy tissue if I have another miscarriage, in depth and while it wasn't a very nice conversation to have it was really good to finally understand what I'm actually supposed to do if that happens. It happened to be a day I was in my office, though (I work either at home or off-site more than half the time) and the walls are horribly thin, so I was trying to have this whole conversation without ever saying anything that made it obvious what I was talking about!

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AnneLovesGilbert · 31/10/2017 21:21

Glad there were some lovely things in your day miami. Crying can be healing, no matter how inconvenient the times is can happen! Better out than in.

lisa, we're a day apart! Stick with the new regime, you never know.

How are you bertie?

Hope scan is positive keepon

I used the magical oil my mum's friend sent me! Keep you posted Grin

LisaSimpsonsbff · 31/10/2017 10:31

Hope you had a lovely walk and dinner, miami.

Glad you're feeling positive too, keepon - and glad they've finally got your scan sorted.

Forgot to temp yesterday so just got my crosshairs confirmed today - 4dpo. While I remain unconvinced re my progesterone routine, it does somehow help to break up the 2ww; I start taking it again on Friday.

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keeponrunning85 · 30/10/2017 21:18

Happy anniversary Miami. I hope you and your DH have found solace in each other today. Thank you for the reminder that every month there is a chance. I will do my best to remind myself of that when we return to trying in a few weeks time.

Lisa and Anne, your talk of temping bamboozles me!

I finally managed to get my scan date sorted for a week on Thursday so that's something. And got back on the folic acid at the weekend. Dare I say I'm feeling excited about trying again, almost like I did wheb we first started 3 years ago. Long may it last!

Miami81 · 30/10/2017 12:07

Thanks for the lovely messages.
I have just had a foot massage at the hotel and started crying in the middle of it - I think it was just a release of tension thing. We are going to head for a nice walk around the town and then for a nice dinner later.
We head off to see my parents, sister and nieces and nephews tomorrow which will be overwhelming but probably in a nice way - if that makes sense.

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/10/2017 10:26

That's so well put lisa. Exactly that.

I'm all good thank you! Not sure what it was but got a normal temp this morning and head had stopped baking.

How are you doing?

I hope you have a peaceful day miami, happy anniversary Flowers

LisaSimpsonsbff · 30/10/2017 10:13

Miami what a beautiful message. I really hope you're doing ok today - remember it's absolutely fine to not be fine, and it's also fine to have things you enjoy too - I've never been through a grief like your loss of Eidleih, but I know people sometimes feel guilty for enjoying themselves even briefly after such a huge loss. Hope that your anniversary today is exactly the sort of day you need, whether that's a happy celebration of your love or mutual comfort in the face of your pain.

I hope you're feeling better today, Anne?

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AnneLovesGilbert · 29/10/2017 18:11

Oh miami, you write with such heart. Sorry you're having a bastard of a day. Here if you want to rant. Sending a big squeeze.

I have to say one of the things that keeps things okay is the prospect of waking DH up again with the good news. Hope it doesn't take too long!

I've had a baking head this evening so took my temp again and it's 37.57. I feel fine and dandy so hope it's not the dreaded lurgy... Maybe I'm hallucinating slightly hence the positivity Grin

Hope you're okay. What have you got planned for tomorrow? Will you be home? You've spoken with so much love for your husband in the past and he sounds like a jewel of a man. You've been to hell and back together but you are still together and your marriage is something precious and wonderful to be celebrated. Happy anniversary to you both Flowers

Miami81 · 29/10/2017 18:03

Oh Lisa and Anne
Thanks so much for posting positively today. I have been having an absolute shit of a day and those posts have really boosted me.
Fingers crossed for you both.
We are away at the mo. At a beautiful hotel in Ireland. It is our 2 year wedding anniversary tomorrow. I can’t believe how much of the 2 years has been ttc or pregnant. With only all the pain and grief to show for it. But seeing your posts has reminded me the reason we do all this to ourselves, because the rainbows do exist, because the smell of a newborns head is actually like drugs, for the look on a DH/dp face when the test is positive, for the chance. Because each cycle there is a chance. A beautiful spark of a chance. Some of those chances encounter difficulties that cause them to cease to be at 8 weeks or 13 weeks or 27 weeks but my word the ones that make it are surely worth all the pain and anxiety. Fingers crossed for you all.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/10/2017 17:03

And that is VERY high. Fx......

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/10/2017 17:03

I do too! Started doing it when my temps were very up and down. Not sure it's made much difference but I'm used to it now.

You've done brilliantly. I remember the night we came over after the scan thinking that my heart would literally break and fall out of my chest in pieces. I couldn't imagine laughing again or looking forward to anything. And yet we heal. There have been times this year that I've felt fucking miserable and it's all seemed too much (you've been there for much of it!). And others, like last night, like today, when I've felt purely happy. Hopeful, fulfilled, healthy and well and like it's going to be okay. Who knows if it will. I'll no doubt wobble again soon! But take the good times when they come and it all helps build you up and hopefully make you stronger for the next dip if there is one Flowers

Cycle buddies! Good stuff Smile

LisaSimpsonsbff · 29/10/2017 16:32

Thanks, Anne, I really appreciate the encouragement - I do feel a little bit proud, or at least less cross at myself!

I think we've synced again! Temp's up, so assuming it stays that way I think I'll get crosshairs telling me I ov'd on cd14 - pretty early for me. My temp this morning was 37.22! Mine are always a bit higher than most women's because I temp vaginally (I seem to sleep with my mouth open because my mouth temps are really, really erratic), but that's still strangely hot for me...

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AnneLovesGilbert · 29/10/2017 16:18

Oh lisa, I'm so pleased for you. You should be really proud of yourself for your healing and your loveliness abs happiness for them. My friend is due soon, they've had a hell of a struggle and this is their third ivf baby. She's been so sweet to me even though we're not usually that close. She's promised me loads of cuddles! She said when she was in her 2ww with her first she had cuddles with her friend's newborn every day and she's sure it worked! I've got another friend who went into labour with her first when she cuddled a colleague's tiny baby. It can do wonders holding precious little ones. Give his head a good sniff for me!

Yep, copious ewcm was cds 11 and 12. Was watery and I had a big temp dip cd13 and it's been mega high ever since. Coverline is 35.7 this cycle too. Usually 35.5.

How's yours all looking?

LisaSimpsonsbff · 29/10/2017 14:21

How does that line up when you thought you did, anne? Mystery solved?

So glad you had a good time. I'm also feeling good about life today. Went to go see my nephew today and he's scrummy. It just also made me realise how much better I'm do in myself - two months ago I'd have just been in floods and floods of tears about it all. I feel more or less back to myself again; it seems to have taken a bloody long time!

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AnneLovesGilbert · 29/10/2017 14:18

Enjoy *bertie! Grin

Got my crosshairs today, ovulated cd13. It's getting earlier and earlier! Back from an incredible night away. Feel like we're back in honeymoon phase at the moment, we nearly broke the bed. Despite no baby yet life feels pretty great Smile

How are your temps lisa? Good luck with CB foxtrot. I know nothing about opk but there's so much wisdom here. Really good luck.

FoxtrotSkarloey · 29/10/2017 13:08

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FoxtrotSkarloey · 29/10/2017 13:04

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FoxtrotSkarloey · 29/10/2017 13:02

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BertieBotts · 29/10/2017 11:33

When you're very close to LH peak I believe it only lasts a few hours so you can miss it.

I read on a FB group about "carpet bombing" Grin So we're on DTD eod from cd 8-18 this time. Maybe until cd20 as I've been known to ovulate on CD19. Will see what happens. Apparently the couple on the FB group said it never failed them.

We do have a 5 day weekend this week so hopefully lots of time.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 29/10/2017 08:40

Hi foxtrot. When do you normally ovulate? Presumably quite early if it told you to start using it before cd7? The most flashy faces I've ever got is six, but some women have more - so it needn't be untrue, or mean you're going to ovulate early, it might just mean you get quite a few before a peak. It is frustrating when you get that many. The problem is once it's gone high it stays there until you get peak, so if your hormones are flukily high one day but then go down again it's got no way of showing that.

Some women test multiple days because they're worried about missing the peak. I only ever test in the morning and have got a peak every time I've used the CB digital (which I think must be in the region of eight cycles now), so I think it's probably unnecessary and a waste of money.

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FoxtrotSkarloey · 29/10/2017 07:19

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Meme10111989 · 29/10/2017 05:52

Hey guys. I’m new to this forum. Been feeling really depressed lately. We’ve been ttc for almost 2 yrs now. Conceived on the 2nd try 2 yrs ago which ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks! My periods have been so irregular since then. Showed several doctors but nothing is helping. It’s killing me.

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