TTC after recurrent miscarriage

Thanks for the lovely comments the other day.

Water, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news

I think it's one of those inevitable things Lisa! Don't beat yourself up for feeling hopeful, or emotional.

And I can so sympathise with the boobs, mine are massive, rock hard and absolutely boiling. Which I didn't have anywhere near as badly last cycle but sore boobs are a feature of my usual cycle.

I've never had a BFP at 10DPO, even on a FRER, but you know yourself. I wouldn't give up yet, and I don't blame you for testing when you have strong symptoms.

Keep yourself busy for the next couple of days! Crossing everything for you.

So sorry to hear that waterfeature, please look after yourself.

Oh Lisa, I think it is impossible to not be a hopeful twat. And we cannot protect ourselves from the disappointment.

I for one am crossing my fingers for a BFP in this group some time soon!

@Waterfeature I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. No need to make decisions right now. Take it easy on yourself and hope you have people there to mind you in real life. Big hugs.

Popping in to update everyone. I had a bad scan this morning — no HB and tiny embryo. Bright red bleeding now. 3rd MC in a row now, and at the grand old age of 45 I think I need to do a reality check. I wish all of you the very best of luck and will pop in from time to time in the hopes of good news.

Oh Anne sorry to hear that happened whilst you were out at the fireworks. I echo what Miami and foxtrot said, sometimes you have to just let it out.

Miami I do hope the GP appointment is helpful. Will you also have an appointment with the Consultant at some point to?

Well I got away with an indirect baby bomb in the end so that was ok. DH was told by his friend after I went to bed on Thursday evening and then had a text after they'd been for the scan. The wedding we were at on Friday was one of my school friends so we saw some of my oldest and dearest friends who listened to me have a bit of a mope which was very helpful. Only one of them has kids, one of whom is my adorable goddaughter, and the others aren't even close so fortunately it wasn't one of those situations where it is all baby chat.

Sometimes it feels like there are so many what ifs and no-one can answer any of them for us. My life plan got thrown out of the window a long time ago. I'm trying to spend less time ruminating on/worrying about the future and generally I think I have got better at it with time.

@AnneLovesGilbert
Hugs to you. Some days are just shit. Well done for getting through it. And better to cry it out then trying to keep it all in.
Twins = even more anxiety, but at least it would get it all done in one go. I don’t think I could handle having another reason to be high risk on top of my existing ones though. I have always randomly thought I would have twins, was slightly surprised that my pregnancy with Eilidh wasn’t twins. But all that is very far away for me at the moment. I am waiting for my first AF to land, it is six weeks since the birth on Thursday. I need to write my list of questions for my gp on Thursday also. One of which is going to be what support they can offer me - I certainly don’t want to ever have to deal with my very unsympathetic midwife ever again.
I found out that my grandmother had 2 maybe 3 stillbirths. She had rhesus issues in rural Ireland in the 50’s, she eventually found a gynaecologist who worked out what to do to help her have living children and she had three daughters in the space of 2 years and 8 months. So for the next few months I will be channeling my nana’s spirit and finding my own miracle team to help me sort this shit out.

I've had my bawl. Felt really good and positive all day but it hit me when we were watching the fireworks, standing in the dark with a hugely pregnant woman standing behind me holding onto a pram with another little baby in. My baby should have been here in May and with us tonight. Safe in my arms. It's been a year and all I have to show for it is yet another lost baby from the February mc. DH gave me a big hug then I legged it and had a proper howl in the tiny child sized loos of the local primary.

Feel okay now, just had to come out I suppose. Tomorrow is another day and all that.

You get four weeks extra here for twins or premature births. And there's a sibling bonus if you have two close together which I assume also applies to twins, so a bit extra pay.

I'm not caring for a small child, he's nine and enormous And pretty much looks after himself except for giving me palpitations in the supermarket because I think he's about to smash the trolley into a shelf full of glass bottles

Oh god, in an ideal world I'd earn loads of money and DH would be a stay at home dad, I can't see that happening while we're in Germany though sad to say. Maybe if we move to an English speaking country and I do a proper teaching qualification. Not that we'd be loaded but I could earn as much as DH is earning now plus a bit more.

Thank you bertie, if she brings it up again I'll mention it.

We've got closer over this year but she massively annoyed me when she said, in the middle of the office in front of a couple of people last year when I was about 8 weeks "oh you're pregnant!" I went bright red and stammered yes but only a little bit! After that people knew waaaaay before I'd have chosen to say anything. A couple of weeks after I'd got back to work she asked me, at the printer, if we were trying again. I could have lamped her. Who does that?!

But she then said later, far more discretely, they were ttc and looking back, she's been finding pregnancies and babies so hard to be around she's just a bit clumsy about it.

Acupuncture was really good! I'm shattered now. And really crampy, which was going on when I woke up.

Oh yes I know your friend wouldn't qualify for NHS IVF, I think you have to be under 42. But the AMH test can be done regardless. She should ask about it.

My main concern, which I realise is shallow, is I want two more DC less than 4 years apart. Preferably less than 3. Twins would take the worry out of that nicely... plus I've always loved the idea of them. I do know that it's not easy though, nor is it a stress free pregnancy, higher chance of premature birth, likely c-section, etc etc... it's definitely not all rosy. In reality two pregnancies would be better, I know.

The time taken to conceive this one isn't concerning me overly, it's if it takes as long again. We've already decided we won't use any contraception after this one is born. Though I plan to breastfeed so may not be fertile for a while anyway. Considering doing a bit of a mix, actually, for fertility reasons - just need to maximise all chances really. But I know I'm getting WAY ahead of myself!

She wouldn't qualify for ivf though I don't know about privately. She'd be such a wonderful mum. I hope for a miracle for them.

Thank you fox xx

I would too bertie My twin DSC are something of a handful but it's quite convenient having two the same age and an efficient way of getting more babies per pregnancy! They were from ivf so as far as I know we're not naturally predisposed. But you never know.

Wishing you a super strong bfp very soon and at least a couple of babies