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Original poster

TTC after recurrent miscarriage

984 replies

LisaSimpsonsbff · 10/09/2017 11:48

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

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Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 10/11/2017 14:59

No it's definitely not small change, but it is more possible than I thought it would be. But then I suppose the question is what would we do with the information in the very unlikely event it did show something? Similarly, both DH and I feel like we wish we could know whether I am just producing crap eggs with no chance of making embryos that make it past a couple of weeks. Obviously there isn't actually a test for that anyway, but I have thought about having my ovarian reserve tested. But again, if it comes back low: then what? The advice is still the same - keep trying and hope you happen to get a good egg, and I guess it would just make us feel more hopeless and down about it all.

I was very pleased with myself for not getting upset and being all 'just one of those things'. Then DH texted to say he nearly cried in front of year 10 (he's a teacher, not a random weirdo who gets emotional around teenagers) and, of course, that set me off!

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BertieBotts · 10/11/2017 12:53

For about. I didn't mean to suggest 400, especially x2, is small change!

BertieBotts · 10/11/2017 12:52

Yes, you can have a private karyotype done for but £400 I believe. That should show up any genetic issues.

I thought that too about the dreams and it's been a symptom of mine before. Mustn't get carried away, though! It's still a week until I can really test.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/11/2017 11:09

Your head must be reeling, give yourself some time to process it all today Lisa.

What did the woman say about any or all of it? Are you coming off the aspirin? It can make your period a but heavier so I'd come off it before you think you'll come on. Not dangerous in any way but it probably won't be doing anything at this point so I'd stop for now and keep it for next time x

It's definitely good you're still ovulating. Bless you for seeing the positive in having had a line. It's so hard, it's okay to lose your shit a bit about how fucking confusing and exhausting the ups and downs are. It wasn't an overreaction. We all saw the line. And it's not a molehill. You had a BFP and it's shocking it's going now. It probably feels like ages till Tuesday but write down any questions you have as they occur to you and I hope the call is helpful.

See what they suggest about testing for DH. It's really good he's so on board and up for doing what he can. I feel for you both.

Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 10/11/2017 10:27

Sorry for mega post! Thanks so much to you all for listening to me making a mountain out of a molehill over this over last few days - I really appreciate having this space to chat. I'm also sort of glad I posted the picture of the test as it's the only thing that makes me feel like I definitely didn't just have a brief delusion!

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Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 10/11/2017 10:26

Thanks Anne - I was also a bit shocked at how quickly it went. I did an internet cheapie, too, so it wasn't just that test. And that is weird, because I did an internet cheapie when I got in from work last night and it was clearly present then. Mine have all featured fading lines apart from the last MC, but they've never gone so fast before. When I spoke to Coventry just now the woman on the phone (who wasn't a doctor, but clearly has been given a lot of information about 'common questions') said I should stop with the progesterone now if the test is negative - I know it's not quite but I feel there's no hope now so I just want AF to come and to get onto a new cycle. I guess the one good thing about early testing is that I know exactly what that maybe-in-the-right-light-a-line means, whereas I guess if this was the first test I'd taken I'd be obsessing over it now.

I actually wonder whether Coventry will say this is the prog+endometrial scratch doing its job and making my lining 'choosier', and that's why it kicked it out so fast. They might want to keep me on it longer now - you're only supposed to do three cycles on it but that's because it stops some women ovulating properly, and clearly it doesn't me. Anyway, will have to see what they say on Tuesday.

DH desperately wants to get some testing on him, but, as we discussed the other day, I don't know what could usefully be done there? He wants us both genetically tested, but I don't think that's something we can just do even if we pay for it, is it? Anyway, this is probably an overreaction to not much happening!

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AnneLovesGilbert · 10/11/2017 10:05

Sounds good Bertie, please be careful around traffic! Smile Lots of people report vivider than normal dreams as a symptom.

Thanks Fox. I used it to get a prescription the other day and they were shocked when I offered to show them the card as they were just taking my word I don't have to pay! Anymore symptoms for you?

Mog, how've you got on with booking appointment and scan plans? Are you feeling well?

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/11/2017 10:00

Lisa, I can't believe it? But nearly nothing there isn't negative and your lines were nice and strong. I'm shocked. Well done for contacting Coventry, have they told you to come off the prog? They won't tell you off for testing early, they should completely understand. You definitely need the positive to be recorded, it was so clear.

God, I'm so sorry, what a rollercoaster for you. Sending hugs Flowers

Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 10/11/2017 09:41

Thanks Miami. I've just rung Coventry and they booked me in a phone consultation on Tuesday. I'm a bit worried they'll just tell me off as, of course, this wouldn't have happened if I'd just tested on 14dpo as they told me to do! But I just feel more convinced than ever that there's actually not much point messing about with my hormones and womb lining (both of which have never been shown to be anything other than normal) - I think I make dud eggs. Four conceptions in thirteen cycles with not one getting anywhere at all (which I am grateful for - much better than later, I know, and I don't think this one is a loss at all, just a particularly shit kind of cycle-where-I-didn't-get-pregnant).

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FoxtrotSkarloey · 10/11/2017 09:35

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Miami81 · 10/11/2017 09:17

Oh Lisa i am sorry. Is there anything to be said for ringing your rmc for a bit of a chat today - even to record with them that you had a positive test. It may mean that they alter the strategy for you as you go on? Big hugs Flowers.

Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 10/11/2017 08:31

To be honest I'm just glad that if it wasn't going to happen, it went on time rather than forcing me to faff around with blood tests and get my hopes up any higher.

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keeponrunning85 · 10/11/2017 08:12

Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear that. Flowers

Anne that woman sounds like a right numpty! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Hopefully she's learnt something from it.

Miami I'm glad the GP was supportive.

I hope everyone has some nice plans for the weekend.

Original poster
LisaSimpsonsbff · 10/11/2017 07:55

I am so sorry that that happened Anne, and that you encountered that awful treatment from what sounds like an absolutely awful woman.

So, I feel like an idiot - all complete false alarm, this morning's FRER was almost completely negative so it looks like that's that. I don't think it's worth bothering anyone about, so will stop taking the progesterone and hopefully get AF in the next few days. Onwards to another cycle! Maybe next time I'll try and actually not test until 14dpo! Thanks for being lovely about it over the last few days but just a big fuss over nothing, as it turns out...

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FoxtrotSkarloey · 09/11/2017 21:44

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Miami81 · 09/11/2017 18:58

@LisaSimpsonsbff
I think I just happened upon a very cooperative gp on the day. It helped that I bawled crying as I was bleeding at 5+3 and it was too early to scan. He rang the epu for me and took bloods at the gp office that then got sent to the hospital for me. Went back to gp two days later for more bloods.
GP was lovely today, she just listened to me ranting for a while and then we went through my list of queries.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/11/2017 18:41

I did thanks keepon and she was very kind. Said to chill a bit and come back for tests via the GP in Jan if nothing's happened. She was pleased about the acupuncture and the temping. Said if I get bloods done the temping will help pinpoint when.

Same as the acu lady, she didn't seem surprised it's taken a while after the trauma of all the pregnancies and losses, not for a specific physical reason but several times mentioned "the need to heal". That doesn't help but what can you do.

DH has a different GP surgery and has booked in for a chat about a referral for a sperm test next week. He's been so sweet, said so far I've taken all the poking and prodding and if there's anything he can do he'll do it.

Had a weird visit to the dentist, just a check up but was last there perky and happy and 11 weeks pregnant.

Sitting in the chair the dentist said "so you've had the baby" and I said no, he did a querying face and I said I lost it. He said okay. Did the teeth poking, all fine, then said I could use my mat exemption card at the desk.

Went to check out, gave her my card and booked next apt for a year. She asked what kind of card it was and said "maternity exemption". And then it went like this:

Her: You're pregnant?
Me: Yes I was
Her: You haven't written down when your baby was born (on the form)
Me: Oh, well actually I lost the baby (need to find a better way to put it, clearly...)
Her: You LOST it?!
Me: Yes, I had a miscarriage
Her: Huh?
Me:
Her: Well you can't use the card and have to pay
Me: No, I can use the card
Her: Did you tell the dentist and did he say you still don't have to pay?
Me: Yes
Her: Right.... Well I suppose you don't have to put the date down
Me: Thanks (about the lose my shit and bawl)
Her: Bye then

I made it down two flights of stairs and started crying at the door. Didn't last long and then I went and bought loads of presents for my step kids which helped a bit.

I'm bleeding with af and been cramping for the last two days, gutted enough about not being pregnant again this month and I'm sure she was uncomfortable but it was like she'd never heard the term miscarriage before and was going out of her way to make me feel bad for "losing" the baby. I probably should have just paid the £26 for my ten minute check up, but why the hell should I have to? The card lasts till May next year, a year after my due date, the letter you get with it tells you to continue using it whatever happens with the pregnant, so I did.

I'm having a glass of nice red wine.

BertieBotts · 09/11/2017 17:27

No next weekend. But I'm symptom spotting too. Had a weird day today, just couldn't focus on anything including I walked into traffic without looking and caused someone to beep at me Blush and got the wrong bus to work. Also having weird hyper realistic dreams to the point I can't work out what's real and what's not.

keeponrunning85 · 09/11/2017 15:30

Miami, how did you get on at the GP today?

FoxtrotSkarloey · 09/11/2017 15:28

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keeponrunning85 · 09/11/2017 15:23

Thanks guys. Feeling nice and upbeat right now. Let's just hope it lasts!

Anne did you have your chat with your GP?

MogScratch · 09/11/2017 14:29

Foxtrot - haha good fake symptom. When can you test?

Bertie - is your weekend away and testing this weekend?

MogScratch · 09/11/2017 14:23

Lisa - glad things are looking fine for now. How exciting but scary. I think if you have valid reason, they will do them and as you say progesterone masking natural bleeding is a valid reason. if your body is unnaturally holding onto anything when normally without projestrone it would bleed then that might be infection risk. Saying that i don't think it is high risk and I have retained things for 5 weeks after pregnancy stopped growing and no issues. Still a good excuse to get some reassurance though.

FoxtrotSkarloey · 09/11/2017 14:11

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BertieBotts · 09/11/2017 13:29

Yes EPU for bloods I think in UK because it's not at all standard, but understandable if you've had multiple losses before.

I'm sure they'll be able to advise on whether it would affect potential mc bleeding. But hopefully it won't come to that!