TTC after recurrent miscarriage

Sperm once they get to the fallopian tubes are thought to be able to live for up to 7 days. Though that is apparently a stretch and 5 days is more likely, and anything up to 3 days is going to give you better quality. But certainly 2 days before is well within the good time - that's why they call it a fertile week, as it's 5-7 days before plus a day or so after ovulation.

I'm actually surprised this isn't common knowledge, because I've always known sperm can live up to 7 days - TMI - but I distinctly remember when I first went on the pill and so had ditched condoms, walking around all smugly the day after DTD with my then-boyfriend thinking that I had a little piece of him with me all the time Cringe!! And yuck! I wonder where I learned it from if most people don't know.

Haffertee, I've heard of that before, it must be so frustrating. It doesn't make sense either, why should they reset the count - it's still unusual enough to have had three miscarriages.

I did find after two in a row I felt a bit more motivated, because I knew that third pregnancy would either get me a baby or some testing. I don't know if that helps at all.

Thanks Anne, it's good to be here.

From what I understand about the little swimmers, which is more than I ever thought I would, they live for up t 72 hours and kind of go the sleep in the fallopian tubes if there is no egg about. The egg emerging makes them wake up again. So I think before is best so they are there waiting for the egg, the egg doesn't do waiting! This was surprising to me but I think my understanding of how it works was largely from watching look who's talking which it seems is not that accurate biologically.

Haffertee, you are so very welcome here, and I'm incredibly sorry for your losses Real, honest, occasionally crude, no such thing as TMI, kind, funny and totally understanding are what we're doing here I hope. Jump in.

I think I saw that Bertie where someone was asking how often people are dtd! 2 days before seemed a bit much tbh and not sure whether I'm glad I checked or not but it is what it is. I wonder why it is though, do you know? Is it swimmers hanging around?

Haha, I looked through FF pregnant/non pregnant charts the other day and I found that WAY more people seemed to get pregnant with DTD before O than on or after it.

Hey everyone, been lurking for a few
days, never posted on a group like this before and a bit unsure. Would like to join as it seems a place for support but also honesty and real ness. You are all amazing!
I have a fantastic daughter who is six, one early miscarriage before her, then a missed one and then two weeks ago my third. They won't refer me for anything because it's not three in a row (like not winning a particularly sucky game of bingo!) and I feel a bit too crazy for the ttc after miscarriage thread. Feels like here might be a good place even if the NHS doesn't think I qualify as having had too many, you guys seem to be kinder.
Oh that made me sound rather cross, I'm not really, just very mixed emotions and the fear of can I do it again? Which I'm sure you are all familiar with.

Keep, hope you slept better last night. What a dream!

Miami, do you want to share some of your plans? Eilidh will always be with you. I feel like we know her too from what you'd said, I'll never forget her. What are your Christmas plans?

I found myself trawling FF pregnancy charts to see how many got there dtd 2 days before ovulation. And I'd told myself I wasn't even going to think about it this cycle.... Muppet. There were 20. But it doesn't mean anything!

Ha ha keepon loving making the cat pee on a stick.
Eilidh should have been due on Christmas Eve, which is just a head fuck of a situation, but we just have to get on and get through it. I love Christmas so am planning to do some things for her in the build up. We are so proud of her and want to still have it be her Christmas a small bit even though it will be very sad as well.

Hmmmm. Not sure Anne. I'm not sure who is testing in general these days. Presuming (hoping) my cycles have gone straight back to normal after stopping all the hormones I'm CD15 so I won't be testing for 2 weeks.

Just to lighten the mood. Last night I had a dream my male cat was pregnant. I knew he was pregnant because I got him to pee on a stick Clearly losing it!

Is anyone testing soon? I'm not so could use some vicarious anticipation! Pretty please?

Miami

Thinking of you.

Miami I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. I have no words but if you need to come here to rant/rave/talk about Eilidh please do. Do you mind me asking when your due date is? I hope you get an appointment at the hospital soon.

Hi ladies
Congratulations fox and Lisa. So delighted for you both.
I have been having a massive struggle with the world for the last couple of weeks so feel a bit detached from reality. As Eilidh's actual due date approaches I feel like I am just now beginning to comprehend the enormity of what has happened. Sorry that you are also struggling with a December due date Keepon. The paralysing fear I can totally understand.
I have been spending some time reading up and following some stillbirth and late term loss people and they are truly amazing. I feel a bit better armed for what comes next having read some of their stories, Tommy's and all the work they are doing really does give me hope for the future. Maybe not my future but just the future in general, there are way too many Eilidh's, way too many parents grieving what could and should have been. Tommy's also have opened a dedicated rmc, have any of you encountered that/ read about it. They seem to be leading the way in research and developments so definitely worth chatting to for a different perspective if any of you are struggling with current treatment plans. Or want to get involved in the research in any way.
I have spent the morning ringing the hospital to chase up our post mortem appointment. I just want to know if we are likely to hear from them before Christmas, I don't think that is much to ask.
In terms of the medical terms used, try in uterine Fetal Demise - 'fuck off that's my baby' is I feel the only appropriate response to that.

I looked into chemical pregnancy recently and it seems it is a term used in cases of assisted conception such as IVF etc - they'll do the assisted procedure and then wait for confirmation. First you'll get chemical confirmation - urine test basically - which usually then proceeds into a clinical pregnancy ie one they can identify in the clinic with rising hCG levels, scans, and later on the actual presence of a massive bump etc. Chemical pregnancy was the name they gave to those pregnancies which were detected via urine but did not proceed to be clinical.

Because obviously this term is used with people who are undergoing fertility treatment it seems to have seeped into general consciousness via infertility forums etc and hence people think it applies to unassisted conception as well, which I suppose there's no reason why it doesn't, but I am just not a fan of the term really. To me it makes sense to be used in a clinical sense but not outside of that. But obviously if someone finds it helpful then that's up to them!

My miscarriages have been pretty early but I've usually started to miscarry immediately, or even before the embryo stops developing. I only had the earlier scans with my first one, but there were I think three days between seeing a sac and then seeing an empty one and the empty one was much bigger - about 16mm to 5mm at the first one I believe. And it was flat and sort of C-shaped as though something had been torn out of it. So even after I was bleeding and cramping, it was still growing. And I lost symptoms pretty much immediately too. I think missed miscarriage is when your body continues to "feel" pregnant for several weeks potentially afterwards. I have heard of women having perfectly normal scans and then beginning to bleed and pass the pregnancy a few days later, so it can happen that it's lost straight away. I don't know which would be the more common outcome.

I have an MVA which is an ERPC under a local. Seemed like a good idea as I’d get to go home straight after but it was a mistake. Wouldn’t choose that option again.

In my case it really was missed as the baby stopped developing at 8+5 but the sac etc carried on as if it hadn’t so when I had the scan at 12 weeks it had already been weeks and they had no idea when I’d start to lose it. As it was, I had two lots of failed survival management which didn’t work as the sac was quite big and it all got stuck. Never known back ache like it. I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t found out it had failed from a scan. I had so many symptoms and the pregnancy was continuing on but with a nearly 9 week fetus which had died. Baffling when you think about it.

The terms are pretty grim, I completely agree. The nurse at the EPU kept apologising for the “products of conception” terminology on the paperwork and saying “pregnancy” instead. She was so kind. Not an enviable job and she was wonderful to us.

Habitual aborter?! That is terrible!

I read somewhere recently about a new term for ERPC but I can't remember what it is. It was better though.

Lisa hope all continues to go well. How exciting! Little growing bean :)

Fox I totally agree!

Is blighted ovum the same as missed miscarriage?