TTC after recurrent miscarriage

Miami Your plans sound perfect. Big hugs.

Sorry things went as crappily as you’d expected foxtrot. I want to smack her on the nose for you. What a cow.

I’m super crampy today. 11dpo. Did Pilates at lunchtime and going again shortly, I’m a glutton for punishment. So might be unscheduled exercise! Af due Thursday.

Hi @whyhastherumgone
I am glad you have found your way to this board as well. We are still waiting for our pm results too before we plan what we are gonna do. I am terrified that they find something and equally terrified that they don't. It is basically just a massive ball of worry at the moment.
So I am 9.5 weeks postpartum and no sign of my period yet, mine was a pretty traumatic birth (had a manual removal of placenta and postpartum hemorrhage) so I am trying not to freak out too much. GP wasn't concerned so am hoping that all the trauma has just made it a bit late to come back.
Cats not sure if this is helpful but in my last pregnancy I had loads of discharge.
Some of the nice things we are doing in memory of Eilidh are we are going to buy a charity Christmas present for a child in need (one of those charities that get what the child wants from Santa or whatever) and get a bird table (maybe with her name on) and today we got loads of frames for her wee pictures. We are going to leave our tree until next weekend. Couldn't face it this weekend.

Oh cats that sounds hard, it's tricky when you've had more than one miscarriage cause you don't know which symptoms are normal pregnancy and which ones are because it went wrong. I had lots of pulling type twinges with the most recent miscarriage but I'm sure I had those with my ok pregnancy too but then maybe I'm misremembering another one that didn't end well. You just don't know. Yellowish definitely doesn't sound bad In itself though like the others said.

Thank you. It’s horrible, after one miscarriage is bad enough but after more than one it is very hard. I do tend to get early symptoms, I can tell before the test so hopefully it’s just another one. I do remember something similar in one of my other pregnancies but I don’t know how normal they were

@thecatspaws it's so stressful. The only reason I have that in my mind as being okay is I panicked when I had it last time, after the MMC, and text my midwife about it - I just checked my phone and the text is still there - she said "Don't worry, yellowish mucus is a sign of early pregnancy, completely normal."

So if it's yellowy rather than brown, fingers, toes and eyes crossed that it's just an early symptom. So hard not to worry though, I know.

Rum I don’t even know what’s okay and what isn’t. I bled more with my healthy pregnancy than with any other but that was at 6 and 11 weeks. My last loss started with pale brown blood and I’m worried this is the start. I’m supposed to be on my period either today or tomorrow so I’m extra jumpy as last time it was a chemical

@thecatspaws I could be totally wrong here, but I thought yellow tinged is okay? I know mine didn't work out this time round, but that was to do with a completely different issue that wouldn't have had any symptoms, and I had yellow tinged throughout. I know this isn't helpful though as once you're in this mindset everything is terrifying and a possible symptom it's happening again. Sending love, and hope everything is okay for you x

@Bertie midwife was truly mortified she looked like she was going to cry, and I got a phone call of apology from the hospital. She thought that instead of ten days postnatal after TFMR I was just ready for a standard ten day postnatal check.

Hope everyone is doing okay today, I had a big cry after I went to bed last night, not sure what triggered it off, but I'm feeling a bit better for it this morning.

Ffs. Just got yellow tinged cm, this is it, this is all over, again, isn’t it? I can’t hrlp but think I’m about to start bleeding.

Hi to all the new people, so sorry to hear such sad stories and Anne that sounds really hard. Well done for
Keeping your cool with her.

I definitely know what you mean about stuff catching you off guard. Had a wedding yesterday, that I was not looking forward to anyway and was fine with the old chestnut 'well at least you have your other daughter' managing to think she just doesn't know that isn't a helpful thing to say. But then something completely unrelated that someone said and I was a drivelling crying mess outside for ten mins.
2 of my best friends are also pregnant and I feel totally ok about that at the minute, but would expect not too. It's bizarre isn't it.

God that's awful about the midwife turning up like that - I bet she was mortified and how rubbish for you. I hope she gives them hell back at the hospital for that. It doesn't take much to be sensitive and I bet she would have been had she known - was it for a check up for you?

One of my friends was pregnant and due around the same time as my first MC would have been, she even had twins. They will be a year old this Christmas. I am okay about dates though, we have lost so early that I had never really progressed to feeling as though we were expecting a baby. I just felt as though I was pregnant and then not any more. But I did find it a bit difficult during the progression of her pregnancy, it became easier afterwards and I don't somehow look at her boys and think "That could have been me", it's just like we never got that far. But I know it must be very different when you've been further along.

Thanks for the welcome. @bertie I know what you mean about everyone being pregnant - six of my friends are, and two are due within days of what should have been my due date :( It's tough.

We have been offered lots of extra monitoring next time, irregardless of the results, including a detailed cardio scan at 12 weeks which should hopefully pick up any abnormalities but I know, like most of us on here I'm sure, I won't let myself believe everything will be ok even if the scans are fine.

@annielovesgilbert That sounds tough re DSC but it also sounds incredibly human - I think I'd feel the same tbh. I know what you mean about it catching you off guard. We put up the tree today or started, and it suddenly struck me that this was supposed to be the last christmas just the two of us, even though I'd had a reasonably good day, this just took the wind out of my sails a bit.

Had a rough day Friday as well when a midwife appeared on the doorstep - she had me on her list as ten days postnatal and, after introducing herself, said "where's baby then?" - was left to me to explain what had happened and that actually, there wasn't one. She was mortified and it didn't do much for me either.

Sorry to be a downer, I am actually managing to be relatively positive at the moment, just trying to get my head in gear for TTC in Jan providing we have our results then.

Good luck for everyone hoping for a BFP in the next couple of weeks - I had no idea pregnancy was this hard before we started.

We’ve been pretty organised with Christmas this year and spent the last couple of hours wrapping presents. Had some bubbly and we were having a lovely time when I ended up having a big bawl and we were both wondering how the hell it’s Christmas and we don’t have the baby that was meant to arrive in May. Had a big hug and the moment passed but it catches me off guard sometimes.

I love my DSC to bits but since we got together we’ve hoped to have children together and as much as I try as hard as I can to unconditionally love being a stepmum, I’d always imagined being a mum as well as a stepmum and I don’t know if it’s going to happen.

Welcome to our new people. Wish you didn’t have to be here but hope you find some comfort from a place which gets it.

Oh yes defo, that's the way I feel about BFPs as well. It's not a given (well, it's never been a given for us). It does make it easier to cope with, IME. It's all milestones and will be until we have a baby in our arms.

Rum - not knowing until 28 weeks sounds incredibly rough. Is it anything they could pick up on an amniocentesis or CVS earlier do they know? Perhaps that also depends on the results of the genetic test.

Rum I’m so sorry for your losses. I had a missed miscarriage and honestly it robbed the joy of pregnancy. Because I miscarried without even knowing it’s as if I can’t ever trust myself. It was then followed by a confirmed early loss and a suspected one.

I’m now at a stage where I look at a positive test in the way I look at o signs - indicators of a potential chance but nothing concrete.

I hope your results help you and you feel ready to join us later on

we're *now waiting

Hi everyone, can I tentatively join? Recognise a few names - hi @miami81, I've thought of you a lot recently, I'm glad to see you on here as I wondered how you were getting on.

Although I'm not TTC right now, I hopefully will be in the new year. Had a MMC at ten weeks December 2016, then found out at our 20 week scan in November this year that there was a severe heart defect - so severe that tfmr was really the only option. That was three weeks ago, and we're not waiting on results of genetic testing [as they suspect the heart defect could be linked to a genetic syndrome] and post mortem. I don't expect we'll get those back for a while - 6-8 weeks is what we've been told but with Christmas in the middle, I guess it will be a little longer.

At the moment I just feel utter fear and dread at the thought of getting pregnant again, combined with a lot of other worries - what if one of us does have the gene (our chances will then be 50-50 that it happens again), what if the tests are inconclusive...what if it's something else. I also know that I am never ever going to relax in pregnancy now - this heart condition usually doesn't show up til 28 weeks, so I know that even if we are lucky enough to get to 20 again, I won't believe everything is fine until I actually have a baby - which seems to be a vague daydream right now.

But, I am trying to stay positive as much as I can, as I know there's not much I can do about any of it. You seem like such a lovely bunch of supportive ladies - I have joined the other TTC thread but it was all a bit much for me, your experiences seem more in line with mine here.

It's such a sad thing to see so many of us struggling - and I know I haven't suffered as many losses as others - but it's also lovely to know there's somewhere you can go for support as it does make a huge difference.

I'm 34 next year and I have to admit, for the first time I've started having a small panic about my age - what if it takes years etc...I think at the moment I'm just in a general worry spiral!

Anyway apologies for the essay - I'm going to read back through some of the posts to familiarise myself. :)

bertie Sending you a hand hold and/or hug if either helps. It’s the shittest feeling. I hear you.

FFS everybody is fucking pregnant. Just seen my old boss's new wife announce :( 20 weeks already. Probably won't be pregnant again before then will I?

DH's boss's wife (who is also his ex colleague) is also expecting by Christmas which is probably going to depress him because he wanted to be pregnant again before their baby arrives. Then his current boss is going on maternity leave next year.

I think I've lost count of all the baby bombs now?? It just feels like we are getting left behind :(

Lisa it’s hard so I’m glad you’re feeling better.

Yesterday. About 9dpo ish, I didn’t use OPKs but I get very painful o. Did one today and today’s was worse but I drank a lot so it might be that. Not testing any more. Agonising over lines only tortured myself.

Lisa just realised I’ve PM’d you before, and seen you had a heartbeat at your scan. Congratulations!

Can I join? I’ve had two confirmed and three suspected miscarriages. Had basic bloods which were fine and DP is fine except slightly low morphology. One DS from a previous relationship. I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks, and one possibly two chemicals.

Currently I’m possibly pregnant again. Very faint bfps but I’m not very hopeful they will stick. Also we only DTD about four or five days before o so I’m doubtful of these lines.