Worried il never have children ..doctor won't help.

How did you manage to get a scan so far OP?
When I was referred for mine (and I do have problems, premature menopause, starting mid 30s - of your bloods were fine this isn't a problem you have) it took 2 months from referral to scan, and that was with Dr putting a rush on it. And another week for report to come back, you'd have to have been pushing for tests when you didn't concieve first month! Maybe I've waited so long for all the invasive tests etc I've been through because of someone like you demanding tests and answers when they don't concieve first month.

As someone who has struggled, and had miscarriages along the way our only hope now is ivf, I find your flapping and hand wringing at 4 months bloody insulting and insensitive.
For what it's worth the delays in those tests, telling us we now need ivf mean that we will have to fund privately as I won't get far enough up the list by my 40th birthday!

4 months is no time at all. Some people take months and months to conceive.
If you are so anxious I would reconsider starting a family right now anyway. If you're so stressed and demanding lots of tests how will you cope when pg or when a baby arrives? Will you be wanting a scan a week just in case?

No judgment here about not bring ready to try to conceive - you know better than anyone here. Plus, no-one's ever really ready.

So. Some facts.

A laparoscopy will waste at least one cycle. Medical intervention generally makes it more difficult to conceive, not easier.

There's a 20% chance of conceiving each time. You need fertilisation (tricky) and implantation (also tricky). At 4 cycles, you have only just broken the barrier for being more likely pregnant than not i.e. more than 50%.

Those odds suck. Only way to improve them is to keep trying. Chin up. You've got this.

OP on the nicest possible way, I don't think now is a good time to be ttc. You clearly need help with your anxiety and munchaussens and bring pregnant will only escalate things.

While 'relax and you'll get pregnant' is utter tosh and a horrible thing to even imply to somebody desperate to conceive, 'stress and you'll make conception less likely' is true.

Fertility is a lottery.
None of us know what our fertility is like until we try to use it.

Having said that 4 months is not a long time trying by any measure.

Well one reason could be that stress is one of the top enemies of conceiving. The human body is clever and if you are in a high stress fight or flight mode you are much less likely to get pregnant as your body will judge it not safe to do so.

Utter bollocks. That kind of advice (relax and you'll get pregnant) is the bane of people trying to conceive's lives.

Op everyone is right-four months isn't long. I hope it works out for you and good luck with seeking help for your anxiety.

Okay enough of the condescension. I have the same issue as the OP. I'm a mum. I coped with childbirth and pregnancy just fine, and there's no need to feel sorry for children of "mothers with mental health issues". If we could have less of the patronising comments towards people with anxiety that'd be great.

Hey OP, lots of food for thought here! Up thread you said you couldn't get your head around not conceiving if you do it as the right point in the month. Well one reason could be that stress is one of the top enemies of conceiving. The human body is clever and if you are in a high stress fight or flight mode you are much less likely to get pregnant as your body will judge it not safe to do so.

Hope you're feeling a bit better!

In the nicest possible way (and from someone TTC for a year now) please STOP TTC and focus on getting your anxiety under control. This is extremely important, not only for your own mental health but also for your future children. I say this as my DH suffered badly and it put a constant worry into his head. Once you become pregnant there will be lots of worries and this will only amplify your stress. Please, get help and be responsible, it's very important you are healthy in your body and mind.

Ps. Please stop thinking 4 months is any time. It's not. Give it a few years. That's normal.

Please stop wasting NHS money.

I think you need to look at the anxiety issue first OP.

I have no health anxiety at all, took 8 months to conceive. However I'm now 8 weeks pregnant and panicking a lot about everything that could go wrong. And I started off with no anxiety issues at all... I'm not sure how you're going to cope once you do conceive to be honest.

You're not thinking rationally. This is anxiety talking...

I've been ttc for nearly a year and a half and have had to beg for the same tests. Leave the NHS resources alone for women who need them. You've got to play the game and wait in the queue. You taking up the time of an infertility clinic puts someone who has waited further down the queue. Your surgery would bump someone who's been ttc at least a year and a half (if not much longer).

With a 20% chance of falling pregnant each cycle, about 80% will become pregnant in a year.

Honestly you need to address this anxiety. Your post is a bit offensive to people going through actual infertility, as at this stage, yours is perceived, not real. Leave ttc for a few months to work on you. Be the best you that you can for your future child(ren).

I do hope you get the help you need - and not with ttc...

Be kind to yourself. You're hurting yourself right now...

You need to address your anxiety before ttc imo.
Pregnancy would bring a multitude of problems except it wouldn't just impact on you anymore.
Be responsible about this

Get some ovulation tests , have sex every day when you are ovulating . You can only get pregnant a few days every month so concentrate your energy on working out when that is .. also stick your legs in the air straight after sex for a while .. sounds bonkers but I know so many people who this ha worked for .

I think maybe a while out from TTC to focus on your counselling might be a good idea - because your health anxiety is the actual issue here, not your fertility, and I can't honestly see how you'd cope with pregnancy if you feel this way after 4 months TTC with no sign of any problems whatsoever.

I'm amazed you managed to get this far with tests after 4 months tbh, took me a lot longer even with warning signs.

The most important thing for you seem to be to actively address your anxiety.

Nobody knows what their fertility is like until they try to use it and it is always a bit of a game of roulette.
Your doctor is right to not subject you to risky and at this point inappropriate investigations.

Have regular unprotected intercourse (no more than every other day during the middle 10 days of your cycle assuming a monthly one), take pre-conception vitamins (Folic acid and Vit D) and accept that there is a bit of magic or something involved that defies logical explanation.

I agree that you need to sort your anxiety out as a priority over getting pregnant.
You think you're anxious now, what are you going to be like through the pregnancy? Even the calmest mums to be panic with twinges and bleeds etc. It won't do you or the baby any good. Please concentrate on getting yourself better because from what you've put about your experience so far with the dr it looks like you're physically healthy enough to be trying just not mentally prepared

Has your partner been tested?

My GP wouldn't consider me for tests until we had tried for over a year and I was 38.

I'm a healthy person. We've been ttc for 11 months but nothing. I've been through some basic tests but nothing more until 18 months of trying.

Each month, you have a very small fertile window and an ever smaller chance of conceiving - it is normal! It can take healthy and normal couples up to two years to conceive!

What will not help, however, is the amount of stress you're putting yourself under. It can delay periods and even ovulation, messing up your cycle. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I know it's hard to manage but your anxiety levels now will be nothing compared to the levels you will experience when pregnant and a new mother. For your sake, and any childs, please try to get it under control. I find practicing mindfulness and yoga has helped dramatically.

As someone with sometimes very severe health anxiety, I know this won't help much now but please try to hear... you have to stop thinking about it. Stop googling. Stop reading about possible problems. Find sonething else to focus on. You are young and the tests you have had show there are no problems, so you're just going to have to wait it out.

If you're having CBT you'll know how to address your worries - head on. Make a list of what you're worried about, and how you would deal with each problem if it happened. It will help you realise that none of these problems have actually happened yet. And if they do happen, you can and will cope.

@Tiramisu I agree with that. It may well be that they do eventually test his sperm count and they come back as all fine - then what happens? The OP may then be worried about it still as it "should" be happening but isn't. I guess the same applies if it's a low count too but that's probably a different road to take.

OP, I understand that you are having or have had counselling? Has TTC been brought up with them at all? I can understand you perfectly when your anxiety is through the roof as you just want something so bad and it's out of your control. For now, it has been 4 months and your tests have come back clear so far which is wonderful! I would take your GP's advise and go back when a year is up. I know it sounds like a lifetime away but right now, work with your GP.

All due respect to those suggesting checking DH/ tracking ovulation but unfortunately with anxiety this kind of advice on how to do ttc "better" can just feed the anxiety. I think getting the anxiety better managed has to be the focus before doing more around ttc (or doing more ttc at all).

It took me a year to get pregnant the first time round. It eventually happened when I gave up worrying about it, went on holiday and drank a lot of alcohol

The second time we decided to have a second and three weeks later I was pregnant. It's completely random and you need to relax a little.