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28 and TTC: Anyone else in same boat?

79 replies

FruitandNutty · 10/08/2017 21:41

Hi there,

I'm a newbie here, and I've been finding all the conversations/threads really interesting to read.

Me and DH have just started trying for our first baby. We started not using protection around day 20 of my current cycle (I have quite a long cycle at 30-31 days on average). I didn't really expect anything to happen, as probably too late/I had already O'd. Haven't had full on AF yet, but some spotting. Guessing she is on the way. After AF, we will be starting to 'try' properly, with a full cycle ahead of us – any tips would be appreciated!

Also, I have been doing some general research into how long it might take someone of my age. I had thought that 28 was relatively young (in my friend group, only one has children), but from reading around I see that the majority of people have had multiple babies by my age! What is the average age for first time mums these days? Is there even one?

Hoping to hear from anyone who is in a similar situation to me, and just at the start of their journeys :-)

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Aspenn17 · 19/08/2017 10:44

Ah sorry I posted that too soon before I had seen the other messages from this morning! Stupid hotel wifi.

InRainbows- hopefully if she is a nice boss she'll understand that it's maybe not something you feel comfortable talking about! My boss (a man) asked me last year if I was planning on having kids right after I got married, I awkwardly laughed and was like 'um I don't think you're allowed to ask me that?' But then I lied and said no, I feel like it would effect payrises etc in my case so fibbing was the best option!

Aspenn17 · 19/08/2017 10:36

Hi everyone!

Yes Nicolle let us know how the birthday surprise went!!

I'm finally going to test tomorrow morning as we're flying home tonight. AF is now about 10 days late, feel like I've had a few symptoms but still worried it's all just in my head Confused

Have any of you told your friends or family that you are TTC? Or are you keeping it to yourselves?

InRainbows · 19/08/2017 09:23

Yup I'm in a similar boat @PurpleIris I'm in a small team of three and close with my boss, she was saying she is going to TTC in Jan and asked me when I was going to TTC and it was written on my face 😳 I'm feeling a bit stressed that she knows but I work for a really crappy company so don't really have any aspirations for pay rise or promotion so it doesn't change much! Also she has not mentioned it since so that's good!

*@BabaGanouch I watched a vlog by Katie&baby she swears using the kits is what got her pregnant however I've heard they are very expensive, what cycle are you on? Maybe something to consider if you feel it is taking too long to TTC and you have the loose change.

Purpleiris89 · 19/08/2017 08:52

@InRainbows its soo hard at work isn't it. The other girls have a cuppa every hour!

I caught my college looking at me funny the other day so told my work friend turns out the other one thinks im pregnant i wish!

Babaganoush123 · 19/08/2017 08:50

Wowza congrats @Nicolle Grin !
Purpleiris89 I drink coffee, mainly when I'm at work to get me through the day, don't drink it much if I'm at home. I only drink couple cups max normally.

Just wondering, does any use the clearblue ovulation thingies or is thinking of using them? I'm struggling to understand my cycle so wondering how good they are.

InRainbows · 19/08/2017 08:27

Morning Ladies 🌞

I am also 28 and TTC #1. Now in cycle #2 and really want a bfp before my Birthday in October (AF due 14 Sept)!

Congratulatons @Nicolle let us know what your hubby says! I don't think I could ever keep that one quiet!

@PurpleIris For me it's coffee!! I have stopped drinking and smoking but I just can't give up coffee - I am having two a day occasionally three. Its hard because at work we have a 3pm coffee hour and get the Boden out, we all get so excited about it so I just can't opt out!

Rockandrollwithit · 18/08/2017 19:25

I had my first baby at 28, although I was 26 when we started trying 🙄.

It's a lovely age to have a baby, I'm now expecting my second at 31.

T4taylor · 18/08/2017 19:23

Hi ladies can I join please? I'm 29 and we will be starting TTC in December but I'm eager to start following journeys of others in my age group. I've been married just over a year and my body clock alarm suddenly went off last October! I told my DH he had 1 year to come round to the idea of actively trying for a baby rather than preventing one! I came off hormones in Feb and have been tracking my bbt since then using the Naturan Cycles app to get to know my body. Xx

Sunshinegirl99 · 18/08/2017 15:54

Hi everyone
I'm new to all of this too.
Congrats to Nicolle! Fab news.Smile
I'm 28 and just started trying with DH. 2nd cycle this month. Not due AF until end if month so got a while to wait.
Starting to get quite obsessed with TTC which is annoying as trying not to think about it.
Next month may buy ovulation tests as not really sure on my cycle yet as the 2 apps I have say differently.
Good luck to you all this month xx

Purpleiris89 · 16/08/2017 12:12

Congrats @Nicolle468. Aww i love that idea so cute. How exciting x

@Aspenn17 i think it depends on where you read it but i normally drink about 8 cups a day! So i thought i should really cut down. As i was having no luck ive changed my diet and now exercise hoping it might hope x

Nicolle468 · 16/08/2017 11:13

@Aspenn17 Thanks! Second test at the bottom showed a much stronger line this morning. I didn't dream it!

Nope no symptoms, just sore boobs which I get every month before AF anyway. Feel completely normal Smile

Yes was first month TTC, hubbys birthday tomorrow so have somehow kept my mouth shut to surprise him. Got a little daddy to be birthday card and heading to the shops after work to get a baby grow to put all in a box with the tests!

Good luck everyone xx

28 and TTC: Anyone else in same boat?
Aspenn17 · 16/08/2017 08:13

Omg congratulations @Nicolle468! Did you say that was your first month TTC? You must be so excited! Did you have any symptoms?

@Purpleiris89 I drink tea, not a coffee fan, I probably drink about 3 cups a day, I know you're supposed to cut down on tea when you are pregnant but does it make a diffference when you're TTC too?! I didn't know that!

Nicolle468 · 16/08/2017 07:54

This happened yesterday on CD24, just about to do another one to make sure I'm not loosing my mind!

X

28 and TTC: Anyone else in same boat?
28 and TTC: Anyone else in same boat?
Purpleiris89 · 16/08/2017 07:02

Aww ive got my fingers crossed for you.
Af is due the 25th for me. Im pretty regular only got to the tww once. Hate the feeling when af turns up.
Do you ladies drink 'real tea' or coffee or decaf? I used to drink so much tea. Ive cut down to two cups aday then herbal teas or red bush. Cant seem to cut it out completely.

Aspenn17 · 16/08/2017 01:21

Sorry to hear that chochaw, fingers crossed that it happens for you really soon.

How is everyone else getting on? Anyone testing soon? AF now 6 days late, boobs are killing me, but currently on holiday and I'm too scared to test until we get back (20th) in case it's negative and maybe my bodies just confused because of all the travelling/stress of the wedding etc.
Confused

Babaganoush123 · 14/08/2017 19:13

I've been using ovia and fertility friend to get the hang of my cycle so far. I have been using opks as well but I'm on CD 14 currently, normally have a 28d cycle. Initially opks were showing a faint line at around cd11/cd12 but now not showing anything/stark white. I never got a positive opk... I have ewcm last 2 days so assuming I'm in my fertile week Confused , I'm really confused!

Purpleiris89 · 14/08/2017 07:16

Sorry to hear that chochaw. It kind of takes over everything doesn't it. I hope the gp helps you.
All i can think about is babies. My other half has a 5 year old so that can be tough sometimes. Then i feel guilty for feeling like that.
Hope you get your bump soon xx

Chochaw · 13/08/2017 22:56

Hi, I'm 28 and been TTC first baby my for 12 months now. We got married last July and I came off the pill straight away. I had a MC in October at 6 weeks and had nothing again. I have been tracking using Glow app and taking vitamins since the start. I have been using Clear Blue Ovulation kits for 7 months now. My cycle is 34 days. I don't know what else we are meant to do to get pregnant. I have a GP appointment this week but I have a feeling they will tell us to keep trying a bit longer. I am really frustrated now and it seems to be all I can think about.

Nicolle468 · 13/08/2017 20:39

@Aspenn17 I have been using the Glow app to keep track of my cycles/BBT you can also long your symptoms on there which I'm going to start doing as of Cycle 2 of TTC so I know what's normal rather than wondering if it's a pregnancy sign.

Don't know if it's just because I've been really busy this weekend so haven't had much chance to think about it , but had a sudden acceptance that I just have to wait and see rather than letting it take over.

That might only last until the morning though when it's back to the office Grin

x

MrsBluebell · 13/08/2017 18:58

I'm 29 and in second cycle of TTC baby no1.

I naively thought it would happen straight away, having not ever being on any hormonal birth control. We're only on cycle 2 so it's very early days. Im finding it's easy to become a little bit obsessive over TTC though!

Good luck Flowers

Purpleiris89 · 12/08/2017 20:24

Hey ladies,
Im 28 and trying for my first baby. We have been trying for 7 months but very casual. This month im taking the right vitamins, changed my diet and exercising so kinda feel like im starting from the beginning .

LisaSimpsonsbff · 12/08/2017 08:12

The average age of a first-time mother in 2015 was 28.6, so you are very, very normal! www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/livebirths/bulletins/birthsbyparentscharacteristicsinenglandandwales/2015

It is quite social group dependant, though - like you, I think 28 is fairly young, but then I only knew two people who had children by then. I've just turned 30 now and the baby announcements have suddenly started rolling in thick and fast - I genuinely think a lot of my friends started trying at dead-on 30, like a new year's resolution!

I think on Mumsnet you get a skewed view, because you get a lot of posters who had their children in their late teens/early 20s, and then a much smaller number who were late 30s. I think, though, that's because people only mention their age if it's unusual or in some way relevant to their story - 'I had one baby at 29 and another at 32' isn't much of a story, and nor is it likely to cause issues worth posting about!

PJsAndProsecco · 12/08/2017 07:22

Also, sorry, just saw you wanted people at the start of their journey Blush well, I am starting again with ttc :)

PJsAndProsecco · 12/08/2017 07:18

Hiya, I'm about to turn 28 and just starting to try for our second baby! We had our first when I was 25, and she is nearly 2 and a half now. I think 28 is still pretty young to be a first time mum, a lot of women do wait until their 30s now :)
What I've found is the pressure of "when will you have another?!" Once you have one, there's an apparent assumption that you will definitely want a 2 year gap between children or indeed want another at all. We've known we wanted another but wanted to have a 3 year gap minimum for many reasons. Hence why I've just come off BC. But I really think the best advice I could give would be to relax about it. It's hard not to obsess but really, try to keep the fun in sex and relax into it, you have only just started and you can be sucked into obsessing over TTC. A lot of women find when they aren't so focused on it, it happens! This time around we are too tired with a toddler to obsess or time sex etc, literally just "not preventing" and seeing what happens Grin

Aspenn17 · 12/08/2017 06:52

Welcome Babganoush and thank you FruitandNutty! Good luck!

Do any of you use apps to track periods/ovulation? I've been using Clue and Flo for the past few months but they give me totallly different ovulation dates!? AF is now 3 days late but still feeling like she's on the way so still putting off testing Hmm

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