SQUARE ONE'RS TO GRADUATES! Morale & energy is low, but we will not be beaten, BFPs WILL be achieved in this here thread!

Thank you Mimi!
I do wonder if I get AF late because of late ovulation (CD19-CD29)? My cycles are usually around 27-29 days.

oh @russ, the baby is so adorable and all grown

Thank you ladies, finally got my static smiley face! That’s day 9 of it! Never never had it before! But so glad to see it and things work properly after endo scratching! Now hopefully AF arrives in time as flights are booked to go home for IUI. My LO is good and 10 months tomorrow!

hie @Russkispy, hope you finally got a static smiley by now. so sorry for the failed iui last month hun. hope you get lucky this cycle before your next iui. how is your lo doing?

hie there @footy1.how are you and oh? it is rather hard seeing babies when you desperately want one yourself. worse the mom doesn't seem appreciate the blessing. still believe that one day we will all graduate. even though miracles.

hie @Russkispy, hope you finally got a static smiley by now. so sorry for the failed iui last month hun. hope you get lucky this cycle before your next iui. how is your lo doing?

hie there @footy1.how are you and oh? it is rather hard seeing babies when you desperately want one yourself. worse the mom doesn't seem appreciate the blessing. still believe that one day we will all graduate. even though miracles.

oh so sorry @physicskate for the stupid witch. hope you are okay lovely and you will be first time lucky with ivf. who would have thought that we would be at it for years. how is the break from work going?

so lovely to hear from you @radders.how is your ds? must be all grown up now.

how are you doing @Tee4me. thinking of you and hope you are taking care of yourself .glad no intervention is needed but still sending you all the love and hugs in the world. upwards and onwards indeed, but it sure ain't easy! !!!!!!

Oh dear Russ! I guess try and relax? Baths? Maybe have a massage or go for an acupuncture session to chill out?

I reckon I'll start my acupuncture sessions after next af or my paperwork appointment.

Hi Radders! Yes it is incredibly painful on a personal level, but also really exciting on a more objective level! Exciting for people who actually have a chance of making it happen... Hope you are well... long time no see!

Kate sorry about AF!
CD17 here and still flashey face. That’s seven days in the row! What the hell! I hope it doesn’t affect AF as we got our IUI scheduled at the end of this month. Hate the unknown!

Still reading and keeping in the loop thinking of you all as I so wish you all get the outcome you want and deserve.
I understand the heartache of trying for your first and others are now on to their second. It definitely will hurt deep down and it’s only natural of course.

It’s so difficult because stress makes it even harder to conceive but ttc is stressful so it’s just a massive circle

Sending all my love, hugs and wishes for BFPs all round xxx

And af is here. She's hurting like a beast too!!! So I guess ivf it is? Still need my paperwork appointment... if cycles go back to longer without clomid it means we have five weeks to sort paperwork, funding and meds. Unlikely? I think so... so I'm guessing more like the following cycle: 9 or 10 weeks.

Aww ladies it's heartbreaking reading all this. It's exhausting for you all, these painful emotions, trials and heartache I really do feel for you all. Feel like my last 2 years were just a waste of time not alone the expense and now to be told that's it I'm a dried up prune. Totally rubbish.. but like Tee I have to be thankful for what I do have. Concentrating on my marriage at the mo, hoping for that miracle.
I couldn't leave the thread as we all have supported each other for sooo long and you are all my friends now.

Tee I'm so sorry hon, I hope you are not in any pain and have plenty of nice friends / family close by to help you recover. You sound strong but you must be crumbling inside. Look after yourself xx

Kate I totally see it, really wish I could click my fingers for you. Well done for being honest. Unfortunately some people will take offence but we have been with you on this road for two years so totally understand. You have done amazing to stay sane with everything, we all have, to be fair. We all want that finish line and when we all so desperate it's hard to be pleased for others. I get it, deep down we are really but we are all so desperate.Recently my sister just had twins and hasn't stopped moaning how she only wanted one.. I wanted to scream at her. It's so hard, Emotions all over the place. Go easy on yourself, and big hug. We will always be here for you..
Hope Dh is there to support you too and provide some comfort. I know some men are not very good at compassion! (No offence to anyone).
Mine is useless! I have no words of wisdom but always here if u want to rant.

Russ - glad your daughter is doing well and wish you well. Sorry to hear about your recent bfn x

Apologies to any new comers.. it's not really a thread of good news at the moment and we only really just support each other through this painful journey. Wish you all the best in your individual journeys. I'm sure two years of testimonies tears and joy will provide advice and tips and all what we have been through.

Hi to Mimi too and Jam if she's still around x

Tee, I’m so sorry to hear it! Stay strong! Thinking of you 🤗

Oh tee. I'm so sorry to hear that. I suppose it is quite good that it may not require intervention... but my heart breaks for you hun...

Everything about ttc is shit.

Kate, you haven’t offended me at all! And Suz, sorry you felt horrified by Kate’s comment. But we’ve been for one another for the past 2 years! Through highs and lows. And I’m still here not rubbing into faces that I’m TTC#2 but supporting others and vice versa.
Kate, stay strong, I know it must be getting harder and harder but we must! Our time will come! I’m convinced! I’m right behind you!

Suz, I honestly hope you never experience infertility. Or the heartache of being unable to conceive when others do. I hope it doesn't make you feel less of a human being. This thread is my 'safe place'. So thank you of trying to deprive me of the support of women I have grown to love and know over the last few years, the women who have been there with me during every low (there haven't been many highs).

I understand that no one else's fertility has anything to do with mine. I got that when I had a miscarriage and then my best friend announced she was expecting. And when my SIL did the same thing with my first miscarriage.

I do still feel like total shit about myself whenever someone gleefully announces how easy it was for them to conceive.

Russ, I'm glad you took it in the spirit it was meant - I am sure you will get the family you want (and richly deserve). I just hope that I do too (but am becoming less and less confident that it will ever happen).

I couldn't even put my reply to YOU in the previous post. I honestly do admire so much how proactive you've been since your started your journey.

Every pregnancy announcement I hear is just another reminder of how low I am these days and how shit I feel about it all.

Your lack of success is not Russ's problem. i just don't see why you'd say something like that. It is absolutely awful. So what if she already has one? Good luck Russ

Suz - in the time I have been trying, Russ is now trying for her second. She has a GORGEOUS little girl. I have exactly jack shit to show for the last two years of pain.

I really really wish her success, and continue to be impressed with how she took the bull by the horns in order to conceive her first.

Suz you know nothing about me or what I've gone through in order to try and start a family. Fuck off with your judgemental shit!!!

Thanks Suz. I don’t think she meant it in a horrible way. She’s been through a lot and wants her BFP more than anything else in the world! And I hope she gets it very soon!!
My journey wasn’t that bad in comparison and of course I wish I was pregnant now but my time will come. I know it!

I'm a lurker but @physicskate wow... just wow at your last comment. Who says something like that to another woman? @Russkispy you're a better woman than me because there's no way i'd stand for that if someone had the audacity to say something like that to me

Kate, I wish you get your BFP sooner than anyone else in this world!
I wish I could help somehow!
I’ve got an appointment with a lady on Monday, Medical Herbalist specialising in infertility, she will advise on foods to eat and not, supplements and herbs etc. I’ll post it here once I’ve got info and hopefully it will be useful to some others

Thinking of you today @Tee4me...

Thanks for your kind thoughts Russ. Please don't take this the wrong way - but I really hope I get pregnant before you do.... This has been the shittest thing that has ever happened to me (and I've not always had such an easy ride)...

Tee, so sorry to hear it! Sending big hugs!
Kate, hope you get your BFP soon! Thinking of you.
As for me, last month went home for polyp removal and endo scratch, suffice to say, we didn’t do but went for IUI instead. My dr warned me if IUI failure but we still went for it. And it was BFN. Gutted but knew it might not work. Just got back from home where my dr removed the polyp and I had endo scratch! That happened on CD9. We DTD yesterday and I’ve only just realised I’m in the middle of fertile window, ovulation usually happens cd14-16. I’m on CD14. Do we have a chance of falling pregnant this cycle? Or too soon after the scratch?
We also booked IUI for the end of this month.