SQUARE ONE'RS TO GRADUATES! Morale & energy is low, but we will not be beaten, BFPs WILL be achieved in this here thread!

I just checked mine from over a year ago of test results I kept the printed sheet. It was 1. My problem is ovulation. I used to be so regular! It's so frustrating.

I'm hoping the combo of vit pills will work, stress has eased a bit otherwise I may have to go back on the clomid route 😔

Mine was 2.3 when last checked in Nov. My gp said it's a 'non-starter'. I wish they'd give me low dose thyroxine, but they won't :(. Between 1-2 is best for ttc.

As we all know, my gp is shite!!

I'm OK @tee, only needing naps ever so often. I'm enjoying them though lol . counting down indeed, I am so excited. Do you still plan on poas Tuesday? Have everything crossed for you. Are you feeling any symptoms yet?

Sending massive hugs and cake your way ladies. Hope you are feeling better now @kate and @jam.

It's so true that ttc strains the relationship. I remember end of last year when dh was behaving selfishly and I had had just about enough. I really hope you all look for things to be grateful for each day like jam once said and I am quite certain that you will all eventually get what you want.

Have a great weekend 🌻
xoxo

Hope you are feeling ok kate. Thinking of you all too.

Anyone been constipated on the extra b vitamins?

Cheers for the support all. Tee I would take that deal in a heartbeat.

Please do let me know if any of you head North at all! Will do the same if I head south...

I'm not really doing WW anymore, but got my bmi down to 23.8 and lost over a stone. I'm keeping it off and eating more veg... I started 30 day yoga with adriene - a few days in.. so I should be feeling great about myself but I don't.

I took an opk and it was negative, so it makes me feel better that we might have a bit of time to dtd. I guess things aren't going my way so I want to give up and run away. My flight response it pretty developed... coupled with DH working and me being on summer holidays our empathy for each other starts to run thin about this time of year...

Oh and I love marmite! I even use it in shepherds pie, casseroles and gravy!
Always good to try new things.

This week I'm on a new regime of extra strength vitamin B, Angus castus, folic acid and zinc.

Thinking of you all. Think my relationship problems got worse ttc.

It's such a let down each month. I definitely think my moods were effected with Dh playing up.

I'm currently on day 60 of cycle. Not a cramp or bfp in sight.
Started the Af pills again to bring it on as don't want to be on holiday in couple of weeks time with a heavy period.
I too been seeing counsellor on my own and as a couple. Not really for ttc, but marital problems. Although he has expressed he'd love another child. I do too. Was kinda hoping I would accidentally fall recently but took a test yesterday and nothing.

I have family near Leeds too so I might join the pity party drinks too 😬

Keep going ladies xx

Thanks tee you're so sweet xx

Wow so so close to my in laws. Okay we are going to have a bottle of wine next time we're up. Will have to ask DH to excuse me!

I'm very near to Leeds but work in Wakefield! My husbands family are over in Huddersfield, so oh yes, West Yorkshire!!

I'd love a meet up, not sure I'd make you feel more positive or pet, but we could pity party together if you're up this way!!

All of those thoughts and feelings I completely get. It's the unknown of it all, the complete lack of control and the feeling that it's just stretching ahead of you endlessly. How much of your life can you spend like this?

I completely understand feeling sadder when you don't have sex. It's so so so hard to keep forcing it over such a long period of time. It really gets to my DH too. Then I get upset and say he doesn't want it enough. Long term TTC is like torture. It's a massive strain on the strongest of relationships.

With IVF we get one fresh cycle and one frozen transfer. Then we would have to start paying. The way I'm seeing it at the moment is no one has said there is something wrong with us - we should be capable of conceiving our own baby. It's just a case of how and how long it will take and the toll this takes on us in the meantime.

The thing I'm most scared of is IVF working and then miscarrying. I just don't think I'd cope.

If you think you need anti depressants then I don't think you should deny yourself. If you conceive you can wean off. I really think we need to put ourselves first and do everything we can to stay mentally and physically well.

My husbands family are from West Yorkshire .. if you're anywhere near there we should meet when we're up and put the world to rights xx

I'm up in Yorkshire Jam...

I have the counsellor again next Tuesday. I have plenty to keep me busy with work but today is a bad day. I was kinda ok yesterday. Really thinking I might start those anti-depressants. But DH will judge me for it. Not judge, but he doesn't want me to be on them when we do eventually conceive. I can't live my life like this. I don't feel like I'm 'living' just plodding along.

I don't know what's happened, but today I feel 10x worse than yesterday.

Maybe something to do with I am sick of dtd and we didn't last night as DH went to bed before 9, even though it was a dtd night?

I think I'd be ok if someone came along and said 'no kids for you'. It's the not knowing. It's the trying to get hopeful each month. It's the resentment of him being tired. It's the fact that I feel in such a holding pattern. I think I'd leave teaching... but I'm not going to because re-training will take awhile and there wouldn't be the same maternity benefit...

Very sorry for the rambling.

Jam surely your appointment is soon? I know we can't get 'excited' about these things, but have you had access to their counsellor? I am probably the blind leading the blind... how many cycles do you get? Is it just the one? How do people do this for years and years and years?

And what happens if we don't get pregnant and have a baby???

Kate I'm in a shit place too - also barely slept last night. Think I finally drifted off at 3. Am so, so tired. Tired of all of this.

Starting to have thoughts of what our lives might be if we don't have children too. Hmmm.

Please make sure you put your relationship first though - you loved each other first and I'm sure he doesn't want anyone else.

Are you in or near London?

Hi all. I'm not in a good place today. Couldn't fall asleep until sometime around 2 last night. Mulling.

I'm mad at so for making us wait as long as we did to ttc. I was more than ready at least a year before we started. I don't know how to not be mad at him for something in the past that can't be changed.

Also feeling low because I'm expecting ov this weekend and I just know it's not going to work. And then I've got fertility people next month when I firmly believe they'll say I've got no rubella immunity so we need to stop ttc at that point for three months. And or they'll say Do has no sperm. And they're going to want to do one more sodding test that takes months to get the rest of.

I'm fed up and starting to think I should just leave and let him find someone who can have kids.... and I can start over and accept that I won't have kids... how sad is that??

I like marmite on toast. Yummy . enjoy your breakfast @tee. Glad you are feeling like a new women .counting down to the poas date fx.your dtd pattern is remarkable.

I wake up feeling hungry and I am enjoying my food 🙈. I hope life won't gain too much weight lol.

Hope you slept well jam and kate

That's what I have to remind myself Kate some people eat shit drink and smoke and never sniffed a supplement. There's no rhyme or reason

You don't have to eat marmite though - just check your supplement has B3

ugh. cringe... we do peanut butter, not fermented yeast? Might have to try it again. ew.... love it or hate it, right? The things I've done for this as yet to be conceived offspring!!! I couldn't really keep up with being vegan. I think I lasted 4 days? If someone said do X and you would fall pregnant, of course! But the uncertainty... so many people have such unhealthy lifestyles and fall pregnant, it's difficult to give up all of my slightly bad habits!

Oh I've started doing yoga with andriene jam. day 3 tomorrow... feeling it in my shoulders... I'm doing her 30 day thingy... enjoying it so far!

Glad to hear thyroxine is perking you up bit! It's fantastic stuff!

Can't stand marmite and all that... Americans aren't raised with it!!!

I've cracked out the ole vit b complex to take after ov....

Ooh yes I love marmite