TTC After MC 12: Hopeful Twats and Emotional Wrecks welcome!

Nocats, that's exactly why I don't use opk's - far too much additional stress if you don't see what you expect! Hope you get a static soon though.

Fox, so sorry you're here but welcome. It's great you can be open with friends but we're always here if ever you feel like you're boring them! I often feel like this. I haven't bothered waiting for af either times but bleeding has taken so long to subside that I've ended up doing so. There's no medical reason you need to, so if you feel ready, there's no need to wait x

The "at least"s are just the worst!

Thanks for the tip on taking aspirin MsJuniper. I will make sure I go for a low dose and after a meal if I do end up taking it (chances are I'll chicken out anyway!).

Bertie, sorry you're still in af territory. It drags doesn't it!! I was batting around the idea of getting another dog after my last mc as well but managed to talk myself out of it because of additional cost and time. Weigh up all the options carefully, especially with a rescue as you don't know how they'll react when you do bring a baby home one day. I'm sure you've thought of all that though, tell me to bugger off and mind my own business 😂

I'm cd 13 today. Had sore boobs and felt sick for the past 3 or 4 days so thinking that ovulation is certainly on it's way. Just waiting for the ewcm that I usually go on to confirm. I'm actually due to ovulate while we're away camping for a couple of nights so hoping that dtd enough beforehand will do the job!

Cd12 and a low on my clear blue ov stick. I've always found these to work before so thought I'd splash out on them this cycle as I was having no luck with the ic's - they've not shown a positive for the last 3 cycles. Now getting worried something is really messed up with my cycle as I've always had at least a high by now. Hopefully I'll get something in the next few days. Pretty sure I'm panicking for no reason but still it just adds doesn't it to the worry... if I get no positive this month think I'll go to the doctors and ask for some help.

Ray I always use a tampon + pad for the first AF after mc as I've been caught out a couple of times. It is over quicker though (for me anyway). You are supposed to be more fertile in the months after mc but it's most important to do what's right for you and take care of yourself.

yellow it is a lovely name, I would consider it too (but I'm not sure DH would agree!)

Annie that's exactly how I feel; I don't want to be told to relax or have helpful suggestions or "at least"s - just acknowledge the shitness. And try to understand that it's not always as simple as trying again - the whole thing has taken a massive toll on my mental and physical health.

I am really interested that you take aspirin from ov not bfp. If this one doesn't stick then maybe I'll try that next time. Thanks for the reminder about taking it with food.

By the way if anyone is going to try it, I think 75 is the standard dose. They recommended 150 to me because of the tests (& maybe weight?) but that is not what I've heard most people take.

I did not buy any more tests today so will see how it goes. My breasts are still sore which is good this may be from all the prodding but I don't have that sicky hormone-buzz I had yesterday.

Thanks for the aspirin chat, think I'll give that a go next time too, can't do any harm can it!
Sorry you're feeling down ray. I always try to think about first day of af as a new start of possibly a new pregnancy. Helps me a bit. Big hugs.
emvy my DH always tries to be positive too. It's nice sometimes but other times I just want to wallow and cry it out!

That was typo central

That's such good advice nocats, couldn't agree more.

I usually feel fine as soon as af fits, it's normal, if disappointing! But this cycle it's knocked me to the ground and I've cried all over my husband, my mum and my duvet. It's nearly over today so looking forward.

I temp vaginally, found it was more reliable. I only started temping last cycle and it's been really good. Just no thought or effort at all.

Af has definitely been different since mcs, shorter but heavier though this one hasn't been too bad at all.

I'm in aspirin under my rmc and take it from around ov to start of af. I definitely found afs were super heavy and put it down to aspirin but once it starts you can stop aspirin until it's gone.

Anyone going to start taking it, make sure you have it after food. It's a low dose but still good to protect your stomach. I take all my vits and aspirin in a little pot to work and have them with my lunch.

Everyone deals with losses and the shit of miscarriage differently and I've been really lucky with friends mostly saying the right things. A couple of friends have also had losses, though earlier ones, so they totally get it. I find talking to DH very helpful but it's my lovely mum who does my head in bless her! She had all 4 of us first go each time, no losses, easiest ever pregnancies, good labours and took to it all like the epitome of earth motherhood. She's just desperate we've ended up here. She listens well but she's desperate for answers and treatment plans and even asked me when we needed to look at ivf... I've conceived 3 times in a year. It's not getting pregnant that's been an issue but fucking STAYING pregnant. After our mmc in November she was so angry and upset she stopped going to church be cause she suddenly hated god. I'm not a believer but that's big shit from her and I didn't need to bloody have that going on on top of my own pain, shock, heartbreak, fear and rage.

I've also got my sisters wedding (going to be wedding of the bloody century) abroad next June and have the family's hope for us to have a baby (first grandchild) and concern it cocks up the wedding plans. Ffs.

I just want to get pregnant again. As time ticks by my underlying panic is creeping in and I can see DH beginning to freak out.

I'm waffling on, sorry!!!!

Tip to people dealing with other people and I'll stop: remind them that the most useful thing is to acknowledge the whole thing sucks. It's completely shit and if even if they know someone who's had a mc they don't know how YOU'RE feeling but 9 times out of 10 "I'm so sorry, this sucks" is worth far more than positive stories or platitudes. Be honest about what you need from them. DH knows that I usually need a hug more than an "it'll be okay". It might be but there are days I need to say it might not.

@MsJuniper bloody nightmare isn't it? I rely on opks and they seem to do the trick for me. I wait for at least 3 weeks after I ovulate to test though; I'm always 2 weeks or so behind on my dates! By the way, Juniper is on our girls name shortlist so I love your username.

@Raysunshine I'm so sorry for your loss. After my first mc I didn't get to AF, I got pregnant again straightaway. This time I think we'll wait, but I have no idea how I'll feel about seeing more blood, I'm still spotting from my mc and I still haven't had a negative hpt either
I'm quite lucky, my OH has been so brilliant, but he worries me because he keeps so much in

Ray, i found it difficult to talk to my OH as well. He's always so positive and actually, sometimes all you need is a good cry, not the "positives" rammed down your throat! I also find that I go through ups and downs. Some days (most days now), I feel fine, but occasionally, and sometimes suddenly, I feel very emotional, particularly as nocats says, when I'm approaching dates, and at points in my cycle. Just be gentle with yourself and ride with it almost and pop over on here if you're struggling with support in RL.

Thanks Msjuniper. I'm taking vitamin c as was advised by gp back at the beginning of our ttc journey. Other than that though, I'm just on the folic acid. If aspirin has been medically adviced that makes me feel better and I may bite the bullet when (if) I get another bfp.

msjuniper Thanks, it's only in the last hour or two that I have noticed spotting. I'm sure it will be a heavy one though because of how bad my PMS has been..plus miscarriage. I want to try again but I am quite nervous about it all

Thanks nocats really means a lot to me. It's great that we have some place to go and talk.

I think my husband thinks I'm going a bit mental. Feel distant and just spend lot of time in bed. He did just say to me about starting pilaties on a Wednesday. I know it sounds helpful but he really had no clue, with this period!? Haha unlikely!!!!!
I dunno, I've tried to talk to him and explain. It's hard.

ray so sorry about your loss. And about ways to cope obviously try and take things as they come and you will have days that are ok and ones that are shit. For me certain dates are the worst, like when I would have been 20 weeks etc the hardest and sometimes other days are ok. Be kind on yourself, allow yourself to grieve, not just for the loss of a baby but also what you pictured as your new future. Reallynmy support is on here as like you I find people expect me to be over it by now as it was months ago, but actually I'm finding getting so much nearer what would have been my due date is actually making me feel really sad again. Basically this place is a life saver and vent on here whenever you need too!

for you ray. Has AF been heavier this time? I found the next period post mc to be really heavy but then back to normal. Are you planning to try again this cycle?

yellow I have stupid irregular cycles too. 34-40 days. It makes tracking ov and timing ttc a bloody nightmare.

I was advised by the RMC to take 150mg aspirin once I got a bfp so started yesterday. They tested for all sorts and it came back that I had sticky blood but not APS. I was tempted to start it early but thought I'd better follow the advice.

I tried to get high dose folic but they wouldn't prescribe it. I am taking folate though on top of my pregnacare.

I've been taking Ubiquinol and Vit C too but not sure whether to continue those as read conflicting things on internet.

Halloumi, I am gutted to see you here. I'm so sorry you're going through this again, and at so close to your dating scan . Also sorry to see a couple of other new faces x

I'm interested to learn a little more about aspirin. A friend of mine, for seemingly no reason whatsoever, has taken it with both of her pregnancies and swears by it. I'm reluctant to start it before a bfp as I'm scared it'll play havoc with my af's but beginning to think I might start it with my next bfp (if I'm lucky enough to get one!). I've read nothing about it though because google scares me after my reliance of it for driving myself insane with all other things! I'm sure it'll just put me off.

I'm already being a HT and I've not even hit ovulation. Gah! Ridiculous.

Hey guys.. I guess I am a bit of both, but more an emotional wreck.

I've read some of the comments from today (there are so so many!), I am sorry things aren't going well..guess we wouldn't be on here! Doh!
I just find it incredible that even after a 2nd miscarriage DR'S don't seem to do much :(

I had my first miscarriage about 5 weeks ago. And today AF showed her lovely face. I shouldn't complain, I guess my body has repaired itself quicker than I thought it would. I am terrified of it happening again.
Anyone got any advice on how to cope?
I guess everyone is different but I hate my period right now. Anyone else feel that way?
I really am glad to be on here because I haven't had a lot of support. A week later and everyone just forgot about it. Some of my (what i thought were close) "friends" didn't even bother to ring me when it happened despite me asking them to. And my DR surgery has been a joke.
The Dr I saw was just cruel and then they didn't bother to cancel my midwife appointment, so she turned up on my doorstep a few weeks later. It's been a joke really and I needed to vent haha so thanks!

Genuinely though, I think all you guys who have had miscarriages are so brave, it is such a tough time. I can only hope that it works out for you all and I wish you all the best for the future.
X

I'll start aspirin when if I get my next bfp, so shouldn't impact AF.

The doctor I saw said from when you see a heartbeat but I'll be taking it straightaway! My highly irregular cycles mean until I'm scanned I'm never quite sure where my dates are.

Yellow, Are you taking the aspirin now? Its just i hear some start after a BFP and some before to help with implantation and i wasn't sure how it might affect AF?

@halloumisandwich I had my second mc 2 weeks ago, the doctor I saw said to start on aspirin her exact words were 'it couldn't hurt'.
My GP also put me on a prescription-only dose of folic acid.
I didn't qualify for any tests either, so hoping the aspirin & folic acid will be enough for next time (hopefully!).

Thanks for the welcome, i'm feeling more like an emotional wreck at the moment, but no doubt I'll be back to hopeful twat in a few weeks!
Sorry you're in limbo stuck and hope you get some answers soon.
waves to those I saw on here before, sorry you're still here!
EPU wouldn't see me and when I managed to say through the tears 'this is my second miscarriage, is there anything I should do?' she told me to see my GP in case they can refer me for tests. I can't imagine they will, as no family history on my side (although both DH's sister's have had mcs, does anyone know will that count?). I'm going to ask about aspirin too- any of you have any advice on that?

stuck oh i hope you get not only good news but actual info from the epu tomorrow. It must be so stressful not knowing what the hell is going on. And love hearing about your OH, so glad he has stepped in for you. It's lovely to hear how much you love him, it's nice when this bad shit brings you closer together.
I'm ok thanks, feeling positive, but I find it comes in waves, so often feel positive during fertile week with lots of unknown hope, then it starts to leave as the 2ww hits. Then like anne tend to feel low after af arrives which is when i normally disappear off here for a week or so then catch up and feel better again when we start all over again!

juniper I'm not surprised you don't feel joyful. I really hope all is ok, but i understand you not wanting to get hopes up either.

ms juniper i too am not hopeful either, you learn to manage your expectations after several losses. I am crossing all my limbs for you.

nocatshere one hit wonder for this pregnancy so can happen! How are you feeling emotionally?

Any one else in the 2WW?

I find the temp thing fascinating, which is more informative vag or mouth? Also what do your Gps say when you ahem.. temp down there?! mine would have a heart attack!

The GP said that the high HCG could be as something is wrong, poss a molar pregnancy, so off to EPU tomorrow with strict instructions to A&E if the pain returns. I did have a HSG and thyroid test today ( trekked to another surgery as they do walk ins and my GP could only fit me in in 3 weeks) results in 5 days... So hopefully this will be ok.

She said the bleeding was common but she thought i would miscarry as was quite a lot and every few days and very early on. DH shut her down at this point and pointed out she had no factual basis for this and we would go to EPU and see the test results. He grew these GP dealing balls when we went to NCT classs and he learnt how to be my advocate and speak up. He did it in my labour too. I fall in love all over again when he does it! I am an alpha woman, don't get me wrong, but when he steps in all grrr, i love it! sorry i just adore him bleughhhh. Sorry i digress. Helps i like him given all the TTC dtd no matter what.

I do recall this was the lovely stupid i hate her GP who measured me at 32 weeks with my son, i measured 42 weeks/cm -whale and had been having contractions since 23 weeks and she declared a state of emergency and had mme blue lighted 200 ft to delivery suite in a panic. I was only there for a check up! all was fine. I do pity GPs as pregnancy is so specific and they are so general. but still she is an arse.

Gave myself the day off as the nausea is coming in waves and she said i have a throat virus thingy os that might be why i am feeling so rough.

Despite being on a strict 1200 cal diet at the mo, cake is in the mix for today i think!

I'm so sorry halloumi that really is devastating. I hope it works out for you.

Stuck I hope the doctor is helpful and gets you the medication and some further investigation/scan if needed.