TTC After MC 12: Hopeful Twats and Emotional Wrecks welcome!

@AnneLovesGilbert

Not sure about interpreting the results!

DH said the GP was saying it's fine as he has normal sperm count/concentration and motility (just about ok)

Google from today tells me otherwise- couples with morphology of 1% or less having IVF or ICSI

She said he could repeat it he wanted to but needs to wait a couple of months. This is painful as it's taken from bloody March for DH to get his sperm analysis!

I'm off tomorrow so I'm going to try and see any of the GPs for more info/a referral to a specialist

It's gone on too long now and I want to see what our options are

@AnneLovesGilbert
Your chart looks exciting (to my untrained eye)- got my fingers crossed for you!

Re the booking appointment- since my MMC 14 months ago, I've always thought that I'd wait til my dating scan at 12/13 weeks before bothering to do the booking in.

Last year my booking appointment was only a few days before my dating scan which went to shit and I was still covered in the bruises from multiple attempts at taking blood!

The booking felt like such a waste of time. Just need to actually fall pregnant again hey-ho

Turquiose, would you consider IVF? Just wondered if it was a way of getting round the morphology thing given that they pick the 'best' sperm. I'm giving it 3 months and then going for IVF with PGS in the hope that we can get a sticky bean. I'll be 41 by then so definitely not got time on my side! x

Under the RMC I'll get fortnightly scans from 6 weeks and have to start bloods, drugs etc from 4, so it's going to start feeling official as soon as it happens. But for some reason the booking in feels like too much.

Hope your session is useful. I used to pay £50 an hour privately I think. But it's free for a reason and you don't want to start paying at a level you then don't feel comfortable trying to sustain. £10? See how you find it then see what you want to do next time?

Anne, fingers crossed your af doesn't arrive! Also not a charter here, sorry! In terms of booking in, I'm not sure. You could do an early scan? I know they like to get you in for 8-10 week tests so you'd need to have been booked in for those. I've never actually made it to booking in both times so for me, that feels a bit like a check point! I was sent away from booking in the first time because I was between scans and they were unsure of viability so didn't see any point in doing paperwork until we were sure. They were right! Can't really offer much more than that, sorry.

Juniper, best of luck with your scan! Nausea kicking off here too! Were you offered a scan through rmc?

Quick question - I've got my first counselling session tomorrow with a local mc charity. The sessions are free but they ask for a donation - how much should I give? I'd definitely like to give a donation but not sure how much - does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks Juniper

Glad you're doing okay! Be thinking of you tomorrow at your scan. Good about your CBD, I loved seeing that.

Sorry you've been feeling rough, how are your iron levels? If you want to top yourself up, I found that gross brown liquid in the flattish bottle much easier on the tummy than the pills. They'll check when you get your bloods done at booking apt but worth keeping an eye on.

Speaking of booking in, I know I'm jumping the gun as not currently even pregnant, but it's really bothering me. When you've had a loss or losses, how quickly have/would you get in the system?

My first mc last year was very early so only told the GP, then had MMC which got all the way to dating scan, so had booking in, all the bloods, scan etc, then had an earlier one after which was all dealt with my RMC and EPU.

The thought of having another booking apt and having to discuss all the bloody shit and losses, and then potentially go through it again, makes me want to put the whole thing off for as long as possible obviously only relevant if I ever get pregnant again but with my last one the RMC doc wanted me to book in around 6 weeks and I just couldn't face it. Lost it at 5 so didn't have to worry but it genuinely stresses me out for next time always assuming! so how do you deal with it? I know I'm a grown up and it's like he could make me, but as such a serial miscarrier to date I'd really rather wait till after a healthy scan for the all the sodding paperwork.

Anne I am not a charter but that looks good to my untrained eye. Is the BD line all the times you dtd? Well done if so! Fingers xed af doesn't show.

Are you alright sorting a new thread Bertie? This must have been the quickest ever!

What a total fucker Turquoise, don't blame you for being in shock. Do you get a follow up appointment to interpret the results or just the bare numbers?

I'm CD25 and would usually be due af in 2 days. We'll see what happens, FF tells me I'm only 8DPO. Temp this morning was exactly the same as yesterday, which seems weird. Attaching a pic which I don't expect anyone to look at, I'm even boring myself, just putting it out there....

And yes, I paid for it, like a complete sucker. Only 3 months though, which is how I'm justifying it! (So ashamed)

@BertieBotts
Thanks for that

I'm reeling a bit at the moment
CD14 and I should be kind of excited (like I get every month) but now it seems a bit pointless, like another fucking joke Mother Nature is playing

His GP was apparently quite blasé about it and his sperm count/concentration seems pretty high...I know it'll probably be a case of "keep trying" but we don't have the time to just keep going aimlessly
I'm going to be 40 next summer

Hi all, I've been away for a week and wow the thread is nearly full plus loads of new members! I am sorry to read about the losses and struggles you've all had and hope you get your BFPs and more importantly babies soon.

I'm now 6+4 (give or take a couple of days) and have my first scan booked at the RMC tomorrow. Nervous/excited to know that there's definitely something there but of course worried and from past experience I know even a successful scan is no guarantee (in both my 9wk mcs I saw a hb at 8wks). The positive news is that I've been feeling quite sick and dizzy (room was spinning this morning, yay) and my cb digi has gone up to 3+ so cautiously optimistic but simultaneously expecting the worst.

It's a strange tension living between those two extremes all the time, like washing that's been pegged out. It was good to be away for a few days but at one point I had some twinges and immediately thought the worst which caused a mini breakdown at a funfair. The rest of the time I've been quite calm but constantly aware of my body and second guessing what's going on.

I nearly bought the B3 but haven't after reading all the stuff. So I'm on Pregnacare Max, separate folic acid and aspirin.

Bugger and bollocks.

DH has contacted me late morning with his sperm analysis results- he texted to say that his morphology looks to be a problem at 1% (apparently normal is 4% or more) and motility is just on the cut off of normal!

Of course I've just been googling furiously and it doesn't seem good

Yikes I though sperm analysis would just be a formality and would come back "normal"

Think I need to find a new group for me- TTC after miscarriage, taking more than 12 months and with dodgy sperm!

nocatshere & bertie, just wanted to say thank you again for your advice. My last message was a bit , as I was in the process of running to the bathroom to poas. I've just got a negative result.

I did think 3 weeks was a long wait, as I had stopped having pregnancy symptoms about 2 weeks before the m/c, and in the 2 scans that we saw the sonographer said the baby was developing slower than expected .

Thank you again, I'm feeling like a bit of an emotional wreck today, but I'm hoping I'll be back to hopeful twat soon. I might even progress to emotional twat later on!

can't link but to anyone interested ij vitamin b3 the nhs have released some information on their website regarding the recent study.

nocatshere & bertie, ahh, good thinking (my brain escaped a while ago!). I'll have a go shortly and call back later. Thanks for the advice.

Snap advice from bertie on the weekly test!

So I'm just finishing my period and onto cycle4...have ISWTE book and going to up some vits due to my age. In the book it says it might not have an effect for 3 months which has made me feel better about conceiving this month when my fw is slap bang in the middle of bloody camping with friends and kids...so will approach this month and not worry and just get my vitamins in and hope something happens in the next 3 months. A little pressure has been taken off and that feels good....

grumpy sorry about the bfn but do enjoy your holiday. i am also embarking on cycle 4 so I'm with you. but glad your next fertile window falls on holiday too.

yellow omg i've watched those videos too. Christ my google history is mental sometimes!

impatient welcome. there's been lots of wise words already and yes i agree i often think later on must be worse or people that have no children yet (I'm feel very lucky to already have 2 children) but at the same time no matter the circumstances that baby was very much wanted and you picture a different future and its very difficult to let that go.

teara welcome and so sorry for your loss. There is no reason other than dating why you shouldn't try again. However i would personally wait until you get a negative pregnancy test before starting again, otherwise if you do fall pregnant you want be clear if its a new pregnancy or some product left behind. After both my mc's I've waited for a neg pregnancy test. The first one i got a neg very quickly, in a few days, the mmc at 10 weeks took longer - 3 weeks. Perhaps test weekly to see when that happens?

Hi everyone, mind if I join? This was my first m/c.

Mummy36 & Weasledee, I was wondering about the same thing. The thing that worries me is if there is any physical reason why you can't try again straight after? I'm worried if we do get pregnant again it will be bad for the pregnancy.

I had been bleeding lightly since 27th June, then started bleeding heavily on 24th July, had scan on 28th July which confirmed I was having a threatened m/c. I m/c at 8 weeks on 3rd Aug (I knew I'd m/c), and scan next day on 4th confirmed it had finished naturally.The bleeding eased off gradually after m/c, and finally stopped on Saturday (12th).

I didn't ask the sonographer when we'd be able to try again, all she said was to take the pregnancy test they gave me in 3 weeks (on 25th) and to call them if it's positive. What if I get pregnant between now and then though? Is that bad or is it just because of dating (if it's even possible for me, as I'm not sure when my cycle will return to normal)?

Hope everyone on the thread is ok, I'm sorry to hear about everyone's losses and experiences.

I love the thread title, it's perfect. I've been swinging between hopeful twat and emotional wreck for last 2 months, I'm starting to realise this is something I need to get used to with ttc , it's comforting to know other people feel that way!

Apologies for the double post! Can't delete it!

Apologies for the double post! Can't delete it!

Grumpy, I'm so sorry. I hope you can enjoy your holiday and as Anne mentioned, fingers crossed for holiday fw!

Impatient, welcome, I'm sorry for you loss. I don't think I can put it any better than Ray to be honest - no matter how early a loss, it can still be devastating. When a baby is so wanted and loved already, it's no wonder it's a huge knock when you find out you're not getting the baby you expected. I found that, with my first loss, although I knew mc was common, I didn't expect it to happen to me. After all, most pregnancies are successful and although I felt nervous at times, that's what I would tell myself. Of course, when a mc happens, you don't just mourn the loss of the baby you were growing but you mourn the loss of a future you thought you were going to have. And that's the case regardless of how far along in the pregnancy you were. I feel the same in terms of later losses - I can't imagine how heartbreaking they must be but as Ray said, although it's good to be sympathetic, you are allowed your own grief. It's a slow journey, don't rush yourself x

So the past 2 days nausea has kicked off big time which although means I'm not up to doing much, is reassuring me.

I hope everyone is having a good week so far x

That sucks grumpy, I'm sorry. Fx for holiday fw, enjoy x

impatientmummy* I miscarried at 5 weeks too. It's been 2 months and I am still trying hard to over come it.

Your experience is a devastating one and I think although it is good to feel empathy for others who are further along, I just need to tell you that YOU also need love and care and you have to grieve.

Everyone is different and no matter how far along you were it is still a horrible experience. I can vouch for that.
It's good to talk to people, I found that talking to others has really helped and opened my eyes that we are not alone in this. A lot of women I have spoken with have shared similar experiences.

I marked my loss and I found that really helpful.
I ovulated straight away but I didn't rush it. They say to wait a cycle because it can really mess up timings and lead to more heartache but it's a personal choice. Also, for me, I must have had a high HCG level because it took at least 2 weeks to stop feeling symptoms and I still tested positive for a while.
It's everyone's personal journey. I would talk to your partner as well because I have bad days and It makes it difficult to get out of bed etc. If you are having down days, it's important to share that. I didn't and it caused arguments.
I am feeling better now but everyone is different and only you will know how it affects you.
I read up a lot about trying again and there are some useful articles but I think i obsessed about it. I'm trying to take it easy now and find that making time for me and enjoying myself with the things I love help a lot.
I certainly won't be the same again and i think it's about acceptance of that. The hardest thing for me was not understanding why and I think that is common. I still hate that I don't know why but I have been trying hard to keep fit, eat well and take vitamins which I wasn't doing before.
You will go through stages...I suspect. I went through really wanting to try again as soon as possible, to anger, sadness, guilt. The lot. And that is normal. By understanding that it is normal will go along way. I hope this was somehow helpful... and I hope things go well for you in the future.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Ray