TTC After MC 12: Hopeful Twats and Emotional Wrecks welcome!

Emvy! Wow you knew it! A positive is good! We can only take each day at a time and hope for a good outcome. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

I do know why you are nervous. I get the twin thing too. I'm dreading the thought of twins again. I pray for just one this time. As lovely as twins would be I would just feel doomed from the start like last time.

So I took your advice ladies. Thank you for being so lovely after my melt down! The FRER was with fmu but the tiniest amount because I'd been weeing all night to check spotting, and then the CB was taken in the afternoon. The symptoms are concerning me slightly as I've had them for 3 weeks now and I'm worried it's twins again but I'm trying to accept that whatever will be, will be.

The spotting from last night slowed to very light brown by the morning and has gone now. I'm trying to view this as good news whatever the outcome - I'll either get a baby this time or (it definitely feels more likely) I will miscarry again but will then be referred to the rmc. I'm also not treating this as getting a baby, just that I'm pregnant today. I'm also not going anywhere if you all don't mind? Certainly not for the foreseeable.

Lime, how are you doing today?

I feel exactly the same. A lovely work colleague for pregnant the same time I did. She's so happy and I want her to be happy and not to feel like she's not able to share that with me. But at the same time yes it does hurt a bit. Then I feel bad about it.

Yellow, I couldn't have said that better myself. I feel exactly the same. I don't want to be left out of friend's pregnancies by them avoiding me but at the same time, I don't need it shoved down my throat. I guess it's all normal. It's ok to feel all these things. And your stupid colleague clearly does need to shut the eff up!

Sorry to those that are also having a tough day x

Yellow I get it about now wanting to hear certain conversations but not wanting to be excluded either or people feeling like the can't mention the word "baby".

it's a horrid situation! I've been there many times. Crying to my husband because all anyone goes on about is pregnancy and babies, and also crying because I'm worried I'm making friends feel awkward.

Feeling despondent myself today. Tomorrow is a month since I had ERPC. Last Thursday was 4 weeks since we found out there was no heartbeat. All the time dreading my first October due date.
Plus have had trouble at work, had a colleague say 'oh she's tired, you'll know when you're pregnant' She knows too, this person. Plus relentlessly talking about said colleagues pregnancy to the point where my lovely colleague came & apologised not her fault at all! Bless her. She said 'why does she keep fucking going on? She doesn't know when to stop!'. Annoying colleague then apologised to me later because my manager stepped in.
I feel like a pariah (right word?!) I find it very difficult to hear certain conversations but I hate the thought of anyone feeling awkward around me! It makes me die inside! But it upsets me so much I don't want them to talk about it

Am I going mad?

Ps. It is also absolutely chucking it down here, which isn't helping my mood - had been envisaging lots of nice long walks on this holiday!

Yes, I'm probably also a bit hormonal because I would guess AF will come on Sunday (which isn't sad - we aren't trying at the moment because of testing). I'm sorry you feel rubbish too. DH had a bit of a cry today too which - awful as it sounds - made me feel a bit better. I know it does affect him too but he's so much better at hiding it that I feel alone a lot.

I missed your post lisa - I've swung in a similar way, I hate it! Blaming pmt. also on a fabulous holiday which I'm not making the most of today. Feel rubbish!

It is a bit tricky to work out Bertie - but you have been keeping your dtd bases covered! When do you normally ov?

Thanks for the kind messages, and hugs back to you mouse and thought - feeling a bit better now, but still a bit sad - going for a soak in the hotel bath! I just feel like I keep ruining nice things, like this trip away. I guess there will be good and bad days, and the balance between them has been getting better and better. Even just a month ago I was in a much worse place.

I can't work it out Bertie. Have you done any opks?

Hugs to you and Lisa too!

I don't think it's insensitive. It depends what you mean by 'normal', though. One in a hundred women have three miscarriages in a row - that's not 'normal', but nor is it vanishingly rare. Most people of my age aren't still trying to have a successful pregnancy after a year, but nor is it some super unusual burden that only I have to bear! Most people are luckier reproductively than me, but plenty of people are far less so (well, if we assume my next one is successful - if we're being gloomy we don't know yet just how unlucky I'll turn out to be!)

I don't think that was insensitive ekphrasis, could very well be common there's just no public discussion about it so we never know until it happens to us. Doesn't mean it's any less painful.

ana I did some looking around; it's proven for sperm but only in female mice egg wise.

Incidentally, I found more info pointing towards folate being helpful for getting eggs and sperm to get their DNA a bit straighter pre conception at the same time.

^I'm feeling pretty despondent today, I'm not sure that my comment is particularly sensitive - I just feel that my dh and I struggling and having a mc and a cp now is possibly a very usual thing. As in, this is how reproduction works. I'll try to come back feeling more positive!

That would be good to know ana. I've definitely more energy though so would take for that reason.

Great mouse. That's really reassuring.

The thing is that so many pregnancies do not last anyway, or take ages to conceive, I wonder if we are actually just all very normal? (Unless otherwise medically proven). Perhaps we've been lulled into a false hope by media, the stories of others etc.

Thank you Ekphrasis I'll look into it, thanks Anatidae for the extra info, I'm so clueless.

I'm under a specialist at the hospital, see him every 2-3 months. Last saw him last week so he knows. He's lovely and just says to keep going for now.

I take a low dose of propylthiouracil.

Lisa sending hugs. X

I think I'd test too, emvy, but completely understand why you're scared

It's funny how up and down all this is, isn't it? Yesterday I was feeling so positive and thought that, two months after the most recent miscarriage, I'd really turned a corner. I've just spend half an hour full on, snotty crying on DH (we're both on holiday this week), convinced we'll never have a baby. Eurgh. I just want it all to be over.

Emvy how many dpo are you? Definitely worth a test

I'm not sure there's any evidence body for coQ10 and fertility... I remember the cardiac paper a while back (but I'd need to have a serious look at it because it has finding from the company that make the stuff...) and there are issues with the design...

It has a good safety profile though so probably no harm in it...

Emvy -test but also have you been tested/ examined for a cervical ectropian? I had the bleeding mid cycles and made my
First pg really spotty. Had it cauterised in the end.

Hand holding.

mouse is it worth being referred to an endo regarding thyroid and ttc? Just to check all is right there? I know either way can cause mc (I'm hypo).

Completely by the by, when I was checking ubiquinol and thyroxine interactions, I found hyper states can leave you low on coq10, so that could be something to try (if ok to take with what you're on).