Hut of Gl/Doom, part IV - FTC, because that's what we do....

Hi ladies

LOL LNO - hope it works!!

here you go seaside - have a large one!

Well Ive been off googling the real egg white issue - its amazing - thank god for the internet eh! - its apparently true, real egg white is used in the lab to help sperm mobility. So cracked open the egg to get it warm only to read on another post that you have to warm the egg! then open it and use straight away - I cant believe how mad and sad I am becoming but hey if it works then what the hell (mind you havent thought of how to use it yet.... iykwim! Im sitting here now with egg between legs to warm it with cat looking on anxiously... DP is still locked to the TV (thank god otherwise I think he would be calling in the men in white coats....)

feedme - I feel exactly the same - we also "held off" proper TTC for a few months at the beginning of last year as we had a big trip planned and I did not want to do it pg - foolishly I thought it would happen straight away. Now here we are 13 months later and it feels like we have watched everyone else around us getting their BFPs - we even have one set of friends who started same month as us and now their TTC effort is 2 months old I absolutely believed we would have a baby by now too and it is so depressing I just feel like we don't work IYKWIM?? We are due to get DH's semen analysis this week am dreading it - all tests just seem to bring bad news

LNO - We are the same - if we stopped DH and I would prob never have a shag!! Its kind of lost its romance now hasn't it? and it doesn't seem to work either

eclipse - I never get any phantom symptoms either - grrr - I would love to just have one little symptom one month - even if it was still BFN at the end.

Impatience - still no AF another day gone. There has been a flurry of BFPs on the April thread (I only lurk) and while I am pleased for them I really think someone from one of the more jaded -oops I mean established threads needs one to join Ambi

I have had a crap day - DH just accepted a job that will mean he will be away during crucial week next month - so I will be on another 6ww no poss of BFP till June Also I had a blood test at GP's and when I went in the doc was with a sweet looking but young girl - he said "meet xx she is a med student - would you mind if she does the blood test - she has never done one on a live human before?" I laughed thinking he was joking - but he wasnt - so of course i said "OK" !!!??? WTF So just call me the human pin cushion!
Pass the Pimms

Oh Dear FMN - Ikwym - I too had a bday last week and now I feel ancient and think I ought to just give up - but then what would I do???This TTC milarky is taking up all of my spare time I wouldnt know what to do if I stopped. (also at least I am guaranteed a shag at least once a month while we are TTC cos I think if I stopped DP would stop too ....

Impatience - high temps are good so will keep fingers crossed. Its no good looking at the old temp cos apparently as soon as you are awake your body starts to go into automatic get up mode and this affects your temps hence why we have to do it first thing even before we have a thought .

Nelli can totally sympathise with where you are today - so rant away and get it all out! as they say better out than in! have you started to think what you are going to do next? we are totally confused and havent got a clue so we are meeting our consultant in May to discuss further....

Well tonight is BD night - if I manage to tear DP away from the footy match... and just found out I have no preseed. Reading Toni Weschlers book she recommends as an alternative (TMI alert here....) real egg white. I daren't even mention this to DP cos I think he will truely think I have lost the plot...but has anyone else tried this?? But apparently the proteins in it are far superior and safer for sperm than lubricants! Gives a whole new meaning I guess to Easter Eggs...
Think I better sup up some of the cocktails with Eclipse for some dutch courage and listen to what you have to say before I proceed

Evening all, I come baring gifts of jugs of cocktails....Stair-Surfer on the Beach, Sex on the Stairs, etc, etc.
Had a really depressing conversation with my acupuncturist today about how fertility declines in women as we age, yet men can keep on going for ages; how most men are reluctant to take responsibility for their fertility but how their sperm seriously effect the quality of the embryo; how men see fertility issues as a statement of their unmanliness, etc, etc, etc.
This time last year I SERIOUSLY thought I would have had a baby by now as I was THAT SURE of my ability to conceive straight away. I even held off starting to ttc as my db and sil were about to start trying and I didn't want to rub their noses in it by conceiving straight away!! How gutted do I feel now!! My birthday is looming and time is passing me by...

Oh, just the usual, beansprout. Thanks for asking. Coming up for a year of ftc and will know by the end of the week that it hasn't worked again. I never even get phantom symptoms to spot. Dh said yesterday that he thinks I am pregnant this time and I find it harder to deal with his disappointment than mine (not strictly true but I thought that would make me sound like a nicer person). Haven't told a soul in RL that I'm ttc cos I don't do sympathy well, so the hut suits me well. And I feel old and fat. Aaah, wallowing in self-pity now. Vodka always does that to me.

Thanks for the offer of Pimms, Chocolatedays, but rather overdid that during the weekend, if it is possible to overdo Pimms.

Looks like it could be a lively night in the hut after all.

Evenin'all

Impy - OMG - you are still in limbo. What a mare.

Re: all these pg women around at the mo - I've taken to counting the number of people who pass me that are not pg vs those that are!!! Obessive complusive disorder anyone!
MOST of the time it calms me down when I realise only about 1 in 20 seem to be up the duff (though I do make the assumption some women are just fat rather than pg!)

I'm mixing up a big jug of Pimms if anyone fancies some (after all it does count towards 5-a-day)

What's up eclipse?

Hi, Impatience. Sorry to hear you're still waiting to know. I'm hoping that the longer you have to wait, the more likely it is that you'll be getting a good result. I imagine it's quite stressful for you but, in the spirit of comradeship, I'm feeling the need for a stress-relieving session in the hut. I've decided to settle in the corner, with a good view of the sunset and sand dunes and an obligatory crate of vodka and red bull (not my usual tipple but it could be a long night).

Still in limbo here. Temp was high when I woke up earlier than usual, but then slept another hour or so and woke up later than usual and it was lower. So I don't even know whether my temps still up! Feeling a bit more periody today and have had a tiny bit more brown. The worst thing is that I feel I'm being set up for a cruel joke. I can't believe after all these months of trying that I could possibly be pregnant, yet over the last few days I've had moments where I've imagined what it could be like and I feel like an idiot for believing in the possibility.

TBH I can imagine posting on here that my period has started but I can't imagine that I'll post that I got that elusive line. What a sorry state my expectations are in.

Nelli, sorry you're feeling so crap. I recognise exactly what you're describing.

Sorry, only depressants allowed in the hut

Impy - you are getting my hopes up here.
Nelli - I soooo know how you feel. You are very welcome to come and rant here whenever you want.

First month of temping seems to have revealed that we shagged on all the wrong days. Am sooooo fed up .
Naturally, will still go through all the usual 2ww stuff of talking myself out of the notion and then convincing myself again. Torture, in other words.

Still, at least I don't feel old and fat at the moment.

Doh! I do!

Nelli - it realy sucks doesnt it - I have no helpful words really - sorry - just I absolutely agree with you - I find myself staring at every pg woman I see and thinking why her - its so horrible.
IKWYM about happy people too - I have pretty much avoided all my friends who are of childbearing age at the moment!!! (and def those already pg!) There are a couple of friends I have not spoken to in a few weeks and I have an irrational fear that if I call one will impart some joyous news on me and I will start to cry - not from joy!!
In fact I have just ordered some fancy flower remedies tis morning (for those who dont know me - I will try anything and seem to unearth a new "treatment" every week which seems worth a shot!!) So this is what I have ordered this morning!!
White Chestnut: another flower remedy helpful in getting pregnant, white chestnut reduces tension, stress and anxiety. Helpful in promoting mental health, white chestnut is particularly helpful in reducing feelings of bitterness and frustration which women who have difficulty getting pregnant often experience in their journey towards pregnancy

Particularly liked the bit about bitterness and frustration- LOL - thats me!!

Shall I get a vat of it and we could try mixing it in some cocktails??

Or maybe the original huttees will object if we become all happy and carefree!!!

Sorry - me again - something else I need to get out! My step daughter (who is 8) is due this week which normally isn't a problem but I am dreading it and how it will effect me at the moment! She has also (as from yesterday - when ex wife rand dh to 'discuss') just hit the whole 'I hate everyone - and want my mummy and daddy back together' stage! Talk about good timing!! Ofcourse this could also be ex wife being dramatic as this is what she is like if the attention is not on her for too long!!! She also rang on sunday and asked dh if I was pregnant!!!! godd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks xx

Hi there everyone! I trust you all had a nice break over the weekend?!

I've just logged on today because I need to rant!!

I have spent the last 4 days in my house refusing to go out as I didn't want to run the risk of bumping into any 'happy' people!!
I am so angry ! Sometimes I feel like I want to scream and shout and others I just feel so very sad it feels like my heart is tearing in two. Its all so very unfair, especially when you see sooooooooo many people who if there was any higher judgment, would not have children at all!! I work in a GP surgery so you can imagine the things I see and how frustrating it is. Alcoholics,drug adicts, unwanted children, abused children and then I log on here with all us lovely ladies who so want a child to love and look after and it just makes me sooooo mad!!!!! Why is this happening to us!! Part of me feels like I am being punished for stuff in my past! I have always tried to do the right thing and live my life the best I can, but as with everyone else I have made the odd bad decision. One of these sticks in my mind ,its the biggest regret ever, and part of me , even though I know its silly, and irrational and so not the case but a little part of me can't help but think its my punishment! How stupid eh?!
I'm now at work , sitting here at my computer going throught all the normal chit chat when all I want to do is shout and make the world stop untill I am ready to carry on 'as normal'!! Got to go now as I have some patients to see!! God help them!!! Will drink my coffee and calm down a bit before hand so don't worry!!
Thanks for listening , hope I don't sound too barmey!!! xxx

OMG - Sounds like some kind of hell - Permanant 2ww - Even Dante's inferno couldn't beat that!

Yep - a friend told me about the pineapple juice. A damn sight tastier than grapefruit juice
Interpolated -a constant 2ww would be mental!! It's great that your donor is happy to do double the work ... I love that you are calm and relaxed when it comes to DP but the reverse when it comes to yourself.
My fingers are crossed for both of you
I'm in cycle 8 now - I foolishly assumed I would be pg by now! Still... keeping going

I didn't know that about pineapple juice! After all this time I still find something new to try. I too will try anything.

Seaside, I don't know how they expect anyone who's logging their temps and fluids to forget when their period's due! Good luck for the long 2nd week...

Yes Ready, dp has started trying... It is very strange to be on the other side of TTC. I've noticed her already going on at length about her various ovulation signs and stressing about whether she's insem'd too early or too late. And I have developed a 'what will be will be, you're doing the best you can, now just try and relax' attitude from nowhere! It's very interesting.

Thing is, our cycles are perfectly interpolated (yikes, is that the right word? it just slipped out!): Until one of us conceives we will be in permanant two week wait... hmm

seaside - if you lose the VIP features - you don't get the taunting countdown

Impatience - It sounds like your patience is really being tested at the moment!! Hang in there - and keep those temps high! I've been reading the posts in the Hut and I saw that your DP is going to ttc as well - so fingers crossed for you both

Pineapple juice for the implantation - Grapefruit for the CM

Impatience AF is due a week today but as if I am not thinking about it enough FF starts counting from 5 to1 and then puts a big fat T on Monday in case I might have forgotten that I could test then!! Actually this month I think I might just test anyway on Monday even when AF has arrived (as she does every month) I never get to test (stamping feet stroppy emoticon!)

Cocktails only with grapefruit juice before OV and now I have read we need Pineapple juice after OV to make the uterus sticky and help implantation or something?? - quick - down a pint of it now!!

My motto should be "try anything" cos I will

Oh hang on, do you mean your countdown starts Wed, or you expect period/bfp on Wednesday? If the countdown starts Wed that's a long time to keep waiting!

should our bucks fizz not be with grapefruit juice?

Sounds like we might both be going bonkers on Wednesday!

thanks Impatience - so it is def legs crossed till Thursday - 18 is the magic number!!

It seems that lots of people dont get a BFP until well into the 2nd month - theres still hope while there is no AF!

I had a good weekend in the sun thanks! This is when living by the seaside is the best!! Mind you I only have a few more days left of blind optimism and chirpy mood so get ready I will be back in depression by this time next week. Handily Fertility Friend gives me a lovely 5 day countdown to doing a test/Af arriving which starts on Wednesday. I am so grateful - NOT!!

BTW -Thanks Debsy - do you think I could make a bastardised Bucks Fizz with some pineapple juice

Hi there Seaside, crossed posts with you. Hope you had a good long weekend.