Hut of Gl/Doom, part IV - FTC, because that's what we do....

Nelli, you're not horrid to not want to sit and watch someone being really happy about something they have lots of and you really really want but don't have. There are enough times that we have to get over our jealousy, sadness etc to just be happy for a friend or relative who's pregnant. There's no reason why you have to waste any of those precious resources for Jordan! She is NOT going to be upset that you didn't want to hear about her scan!

I'm too confused to say coherently and concisely why I'm not trying this month, and don't have the time to witter on endlessly. But I've cancelled this month. We're losing our nerve about both trying together, and my next couple of months are ridiculous so it's probably better for my sanity to have a couple of months off. Dp MIGHT get pg in the meantime. If she doesn't we might feel more like taking the risk of both being pg, but we are deciding more and more that we'd prefer to just have one at a time. It's very complicated and I go back and forth on it. When I have some time I'll witter on at you in my usual fashion (actually not doing too badly here now ) but the decision has been made for this month.

Right, better go catch mother and son in the park.

of course you not! its totally natural. it feel like everyone else pops out a baby every 12m and its hard to understand why its so easy for them. i dont blame you for being resentful and angry, we all are. {{hug}} think a hols a great idea tho.

Morning everyone!

I hope you all well.

I haven't posted for a while as I've been trying to get my head straight - (don't think that will ever happen though!)

Things are quite good (apart from the obvious) at the moment. We have booked ourselves a week away in Tuscany to get 'us' back on track after the disapointment of the IVF result. Also we were trying to buy a house which is just being built on a new development but were told they had all gone - 2 days ago someone pulled out so they have accepted an offer from us. So we are very excited and a little bit of our faith in life has been restored. All we need now is a little one to complete the picture! We've decided to really try to forget about ttc (although we all know that it will never be completely 'forgeten') but I feel alot more relaxed and have a few other things to focus on now. We've decided to go ahead with another treatment but not untill maybe August/Sept time.

Saying all that - and I know I am very lucky to have what I do, but last night my DH called me in to the front room to get me to watch the Jordan and Peter Documentary!! So I sat patiently while they went on about their kids and how much they loved them and missed them when they were apart etc..then it cut to Jordans 16 week scan,and when she started looking at the scan pictures and pointing things out, I found myself saying 'FFS I'm going up stairs' as I grabbed my book and stomped to the bedroom, my DH said that I am full of resentment and anger, but I don't think I am I just don't want to watch other people being happy and having baby after baby and being so blaze about it as though its the easiest thing in the world!!! Am I horrid?! I just couldn't bear to watch it. I've just read that back , I am horrid aren't I?

worth a try!

Oooh, just remembered another important conception-prevention method as I was getting dressed this morning. These low-cut waistbands on trousers. I even wonder if they cut in too much when sitting and disrupt implantation. Apparently high-waisted things are it for the summer so that should make all the difference.

I don't want to seem selfish or anything, but Impatience, you can't stop now. What about us??? Really, though, what's made you think this now? Maybe you could carry on trying in tandem with dp and decide when one of you hits the jackpot.

Pooping-eclipse and chocolatedays, it reassures me that you both run too. Although don't know why, since you're in the Hut too...!

I'm 32. Not old enough to really start fretting about shrivelling up. And things will be so much easier in a few months time (exams over, busy work time finished, perhaps baby on the way, and about a billion other things to boot). Perhaps I really have to accept that taking a break can be a temporary thing. Oh it's quite hard to think about. I'm going to be really mature and go and have another beer.

PS, no Mother comments yet. Will update

Sorry, just 'popped' in. Oooops.

Just pooped in quickly. Got to put the tea on. Impatience, can't believe you're worrying about running. I've been saying to myself, 'Imaptience trains hard and it doesn't worry her so it must be okay.' Now look what you've done; got me thinking about it again. When I conceived ds I was doing loads of running but conceived him on hols when running was not an option and didn't run a step from then on throughout my pregnancy. So it plays on my mind that I'm running again now but I honestly don't think my ftc is a running thing, and, like Chocolatedays, I'm going to carry on running. I've realised I may never get pg and I'd rather spend what's left of my dwindling youth vaguely fit.

Back later.

Impatience, it certainly seems like you have a lot of stuff whirling around in your head at the moment. Good luck with your exam. And with the decision to stop ttc. I am sure you will make the right decision for you and your family. Whatever that may be.

Hello -
Lissie - have you tried pushing for an earlier appointment? Can I suggest you say you have been told you need an earlier appointment to get the results. My long and winding road of ttc has finally made me a bit more pushy with appointments - and I think it is worth it not just to get further treatment but also to reduce the worry you have at the mo.

Impy - I stopped most excercise when ttc first started to look difficult... and was turning into a lard arse. My bf has just got pg training for the marathon (she ran 18miles, 16miles and 12miles plus interval training etc during the first 5 weeks) and another friend also got pg marathon training a few yrs ago. So I have started running again - 56 miles last week (not in one go!) this week coz of af it will probably be 30miles.
As for stopping ttc for now - it is totally understandable and not nec for ever... how old are you? Hope that doesn't mean you'll leave the hut???

I have just had an acupuncture session with a guy who specialises in acu for IVF - he's my third acu practictioner and he was excellent - filled me with confidence. Hope, hope, hope.

This is turning into a long one so I'd better just say Hi to everyone else!

Lissie, re your blood results phone call. Did you have any reason to think the nurse/receptionist you spoke to knew your results? If not then don't assume her reply was related to some Bad News, but rather blanket advice. That's my bet.

Eclipse, are you a runner? I am, and am always wondering whether it was that race, or that run in the cold rain etc that has stopped me conceiving. I don't do massive mileage, and am small but still pretty soft where it counts so I'm not over-exercising, but I do run really hard. I've been poorly and had so much work etc on this last few weeks that I've only run once a week, and I've noticed quite a bit more fm this month... related, or just random? When I started TTC I cut exercise right down. Only took up running properly when dp got pg so I though F it, I'm going to bloody well get my fab body back. Then when the TTC turned to FTC I now refuse to stay blobby and grouchy on the vague off-chance that the running is interfering. But then I still worry about it. BUT according to my calculations Paula R was just pregnant when she won the London Marathon last year. No wonder she had to stop to pee! Perhaps I'm wrong, but she conceived, so my humble trotting along shouldn't be my problem.

If anyone's still here after all that I actually have something pretty serious to say: It looks like I'm going to hang up my ovaries and stop trying. This isn't a def decision yet, but have to make it quick because I've got a motorway dash to donor booked in tomorrow. Now dp's trying I think we both feel fairly confident that she'll conceive fairly quickly (I know I know we might be wrong...) and I think we're leaning away from being prepared to risk both being pg together. Lots of reasons. But I'm afraid that if I stop trying now I won't want to start again. So I'm reluctant to stop. But that might not be a good enough reason to keep going. I'm very confused.

Yikes have to pull myself together: Got an exam this afternoon!

(Anyone suspect I might have too much going on, and it's no wonder my body has relegated conceiving to low priority...? )

Blimey, that's a huge amount of time to wait Lissie, what a nightmare. No point saying try not to worry I guess but it could be something very minor or they could just have a policy against giving any results on the phone so I would try not to read to much into it.

In an odd way, wouldn't it be good if there was something wrong but fixable? At least you would have some answers then.

yep, june the 4th.

And when will you be seeing the doctor? This isn't you appt in June is it?

i suppose, it was a nurse i spoke to tho, got me a bit worried now

Well in which case I wouldn't necessarily say having to go in is a bad thing. There could be something really simple that is slightly amiss and easily fixed that they need to see you about. Ot maybe bloods were all clear so they want to discuss next steps.....? Personally, I prefer going in for results cos I hate the receptionists just telling me everythings normal with no advice what to do next (about anything, not just ttc).

about a billion things, hormonal imbalance, clotting, chlamydia, chromosonal probs, low progesterone and about 10 more things that i cant remember.

What were they checking for Lissle?

oh, and i rang up fertility clinic today to ask about my blood results and they wont give me them over the phone, just said to not ttc til we see the doc. thats a bad sign isnt it?

pmsl, sorry, not funny i know. well am officially in fertile time cm is promising and all those other little hints are there. but am quite pissed off with dh (for no real reason) do i go all seductive or just ignore the baby-monster that lives in my uterus?

eclipse, i do that. when i was pg with ds (didnt know) i climbed onto the restaurant roof in torrential rain, got so stoned that i had to be put to bed and drank 3 bottles of wine with my sister.

each mc ive had since is coz (i picked up a suitcase, a carrier bag, drank full caff coffee or ate a prawn. oh the tortuous mind of a ftc-er!

Can't imagine!!! Maybe he should work on his aim a bit during your 2ww.....maybe you could get him a dartboard, or draw a big target on your living room wall or something.....

That pretty much sums us up!! So how come I'm not pregnant?!

Beansprout, have mental image of lots of yous with legs akimbo in a row moving along on a little conveyor (like the ducks at "shoot a duck" at the fair) and your DP trying to knock one off while aiming at one of the yous!!!!!!

But if the right time, isn't days 10, 11, 12 and 14 then when is it? Half past eight on day 13? I'm beginning to think I have a 5 minute window to actually get pregnant each month but a variable cycle means I am trying to hit a moving target.

Oh good.