We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

A few of us have had reflexology Amy, and I started back again last cycle and really enjoyed it. I looked for a fertility specialist when I was ttc last year, but then got pregnant before the first session and used it as a nice way to relax. Stopped for a bit then started again more for general hormone balancing. It's really good. I was so lucky finding someone who does home visits.

Haven't seen her for a few weeks but I'll give her a ring and book one in. Been spending all my money on driving lessons!

Worth having a session and seeing if you gel with the therapist. I really wish mine was a bit more hippy and woo, but she's very nice

That's a relief emvy, best of a bunch of shitty options I guess.

Depending on how you feel I'd get some iron supplements in you and cancel anything you can over the next few days.

I'd expected my last mc to be like a period as was only 5 weeks but it was much heavier and more painful than I'd expected and I was off work two and a half days in the end.

I can relate to what you and conker are saying though about the feelings side of it. When I got the HCG results on the phone that Friday at work I literally doubled over and howled. Could not fucking believe it was happening again! I was angry, shocked, disappointed, gutted, heartbroken. I cried for an hour or so, then slept. Spent the weekend in limbo, and by the time I started bleeding on the Wednesday was pretty much completely fine.

Looking back after the initial happy surprise of the bfp I really didn't enjoy the few days I knew I was pregnant before getting the news. I was stressed and anxious beyond belief. I'm obviously not glad we lost it, but it would have been a relentless stressed and awful pregnancy I think. Hoping we get another BFP very soon, but on balance I'm glad we've had a few months off. We were both battered by it all.

Sending so much love to you both.

Sorry for your bfn nocats, but it's a good sign there's no sign of af yet! Everything crossed for you!

Thanks everyone.

Scan was as good as could be expected - nothing there except some blood at the bottom of the uterus, suggesting I have a fair bit more bleeding to come but that it should work itself out. Nothing stuck and ovaries all look good. Pregnancy test already negative so we can carry on trying as soon as bleeding stops. Feeling fine about it. The nurse/midwife was lovely and talked sensitively about 3 losses being a referral and to just wait and see. I really can't fault our EPU in any way, they've been amazing with both miscarriages and all nurses, midwives and sonographers have all been so sensitive despite both losses happening so early, at around 6 weeks. It's such a shame that not all EPU's are the same. I don't know how one group of professionals can be so lovely and another so cold. It's really sad.

Conker, hope your chat with the doctor brings results - keep us updated!

Hi all,

Thanks lime for the new thread. I've been laying low for a while. I tested like a HT on wednesday with a FRER, i had one burning a hole in the bathroom cabinet, obviously is was a massive BFN. I was only 7dpo i think then so maybe way too early anyway. I'm not going out tonight now it was cancelled so i don't have to test again due to wine drinking...my ovia app is saying period due today but so far nothing. I'm about cd29 and maybe 10dpo but this cycle has been pretty odd so who knows.... I'm holding out and if nothing will test monday.

conker and emvy i'm so sorry for what you are both going through. Sounds frustrating and crappy for both of you and i hope you get answers soon. [tea] and for you both.

Waves to everyone else!

Hope today goes as well as it can @emvy

@Conker, I have really vivid dreams too so perhaps it was a dream? These things do tend to take over our life

Hope today is as ok as possible Emvy and not ectopic.

Oh gosh how scary conker! Maybe you dreamed that? How bizzare!

Bleeding was heavier again for me in the night. I guess I need to be thankful it's all being expelled naturally.

Sending you a huge hug @emvy - will be thinking of you all day tomorrow !
The strangest bit in all this is that I swear I woke in the night and went to the bathroom and saw a giant clot - but dh says I didn't get up at all and can't have gone to the loo as he turned it off as there was an issue with it so would have been stuff there this am and wasn't! But I swear I got up in the night and bleeding was heavier! Feel like I'm going crazy!!!!

Your worries are completely understandable conker. I really hope that as your bleeding has really slowed, that it could be a good sign. There are plenty of women on here that are proof bleeds can happen and all end well! I hope you have more luck tomorrow.

Mine on the other hand, still mega cramps, still floods of blood. Sigh. The internal scan will be interesting in this state! 😰🙈

Thanks ladies - I am awaiting a call back from the gp tomorrow am and am going to ask him to kick ass with the EPU tomorrow! The other option is to go to the other maternity unit in the other direction - who don't know me but almost certainly would see me straight away - my friend is a midwife there so am tempted to message her this eve!
It's so confusing as the bleeding has slowed down and is turning brown again this even - nothing on towel just on wiping? So am v v confused! Been to see a friend tonight and she says I should raise hell till they scan me!
In my head I have totally made peace with it being a loss and am not thinking of myself as being pregnant anymore - like you @emvy I hadn't attached - feel like a complete selfish madam for not being in floods of tears but have to protect my self from the cycle of despair I felt with both the two Mmcs !!
I will keep you all posted and let you know how it goes tomorrow!
I think my biggest fear is that there is stuff that cannot be expelled and I will end up with sepsis again like last time :-(

Thank you for your response as well starshine. I didn't feel too emotionally attached to this pregnancy as had distanced myself from the start but it's the fear of the unknown I guess. Best of luck with the rmc.

Oh conker also, how on earth have you done all those things today?! Incredible! Please look after yourself though and don't push yourself too hard. You must give your body time to heal. I've barely moved off the sofa! I've basically slept all day! 🙈

That's awful conker I'm so sorry your epu are being crap! I find it very condescending when they say things like, "it might not be a miscarriage." We know bleeding can occur. We know cramps can occur. But often, a woman knows her own body better than anyone. I'm sorry they're not being supportive.

I feel the same emotionally - my mmc was such a shock but this one was inevitable. To be honest, the only reason they're seeing me in epu before next week is because I had some pain in my hip... it's the odd sharp pain, it's not ectopic, but I'm going for the scan just so they can make sure it's all cleared even if they don't know that!

Starshine that's great to know and I hope you get some answers from him. I might get in contact too if the GP fails as he's not a million miles from where I live. Certainly easy enough to get to his Harley Street clinic.

conker that's awful, I hate that the EPU services make you go through that. They don't appreciate the mental issues that go along side a miscarriage. It's so distressing and being told to wait can be truely awful.

Ramble away conker - so sorry with what you're going through and how epu have treated you- that's really not what you need! A week is such a long time to wait! Oh no this is probably really bad to say- but if you had abdo pain, they'd prob see you sooner?

Hope you get to go on your run soon

Will be thinking if you with scan tomorrow @emvy - let us know how you get on - I totally agree with you that everything cleared would be the best outcome given am in same situation!
We rang gp today and he said given my past history of retained tissue after last erpc I should be scanned! Told me to call EPU who are usually lovely- called them and basically they challenged me as to why gp wanted me to have a scan even though we'd spoken at length with them about the bleeding yesterday!!!! I burst into tears and handed the phone to dh! They have said more 'wait and see - might not be a miscarriage!' And will book me a scan for next week!!!!!!! Feelings v v let down and stuck in horrible limbo which is what I was dreading most! I absolutely hate this period of not knowing even though I am 100% sure it is a miscarriage and am so worried about stuff not coming away - although at six weeks shouldn't be much?
Sorry am rambling! I am trying v hard to keep busy though and I have to say that as this has happened naturally whilst I am desperately sad that this baby isn't meant to be - I am coping far far better than with mmc' sand have done the school run and seen friends and run rainbows!!!
What I really want is to go out for a long run as this is my main coping mechanism but am terrified of being out there and bleeding v badly on my own!
Think I will definitely go back for reflexology for some healing and re setting of system! I can really recommend it to anyone thinking if trying it!
Thank you all so much for your support - you guys are awesome and for welcoming me back! Xx

Anne thank you so much for your wonderful and inspiring posts today. ❤️

I'll be (according to ff) 11dpo on Monday, and also due af (again according to ff). But that would mean my very regular 26 day cycles pre miscarriage have been 25 and 23 post mc... which is a little concerning. But hopefully still within the realms of normal.

Oh ladies, so much sad news on here today- really sending huge virtual hugs!!

Envy, it does get easier- that sounds crazy I know but I think my second miscarriage hit me the hardest as I just didn't think it would happen (had a missed miscarriage at my 12 week scan with the first so had a heart beat check at 7 weeks on my second pregnancy which was fine- then went private for a ten week as couldn't stand waiting 12 weeks and baby had stopped growing)- I was completely shattered. Following miscarriages have almost been easier to cope with as from the start have tried to prepare for the worst- sounds crazy written down I know. Don't get me wrong, still have days of despair and I have unfollowed any friends with babies or expecting on fb, also unfollowed anything baby related and that has hugely helped! I know I avoid certain situations or make sure DH is there for support as he really is my brick. We just have to keep hoping

I have been referred to rmc at st Mary's and awaiting results, but felt I was just a number. Have also been seeing mr shehata in Surrey privately- I have had worries about ovulation too tiffin and he actually listened to me today and has arranged blood tests and scans to check- st Mary's didn't listen at all. I know I am in a different situation to u tiffin, but just thought I'd share. Your local hospital should also have fertility specialist that can track ovulation (perhaps talk to your gp for a referral).

I am off to find some chocolate as really feeling the need tonight!

Exactly @tiffin I wasn't one to complain and i would never go to the GP but since the MMC I want to get it sorted.

I was told by one GP to wait 3 cycles after a MC for your body to return to normal and then they would look into it further.
I am so impatient I just want it to happen now!!

I hope you make some progress with it soon tiffin and the doctors do their bit! x

amy that's really useful thank you. I'm awful for thinking that I'm wasting their time and always leave things longer than I should. This is one thing I can't leave though, it's affecting me to much. I'll wait to get my next af and then try and go see the GP that saw me with my miscarriage. He seemed like he might be reasonable and may listen to my concerns.

@DoubleChocolatetiffin Your story sounds very similar to mine, I have a nearly 5 year old which we didn't even need to 'try' for. Had a MMC in Feb of this year and chose to have surgery.

Since then i haven't had a proper cycle. Took me 10 weeks for AF to return, then after a scan they found a 'large' cyst and i was told to wait 6 weeks...cyst had gone but they then said i have many immature follicles so basically diagnosed me with PCOS.....Sorry to go on about me but i would deffo get booked in with the GP to get the ball rolling. Mine wasn't too helpful at first saying i need to have been trying for a year (I had been trying for 3 before the MMC) but i pushed and pushed and finally she referred me to the Gyno Hosp so i should be starting medication soon to help me ovulate. Its worth getting the ball rolling with the NHS even if you decide to go private.

@Anne Is it you that does reflexology? I have just enquired with a lady close to me who specialises in 'fertility reflexology' I am willing to try anything now.

My best friend went for her 20 week scan yesterday and she found out shes having a little boy. I am so happy for her but its bitter sweet as my due date is looming and i am still not pregnant again.
She seems to have it all looking from the outside but her OH isn't happy and has told her he doesn't feel happy they are expecting another baby and wanted to leave :( ...It just goes to show you never know what is going on behind closed doors. x

Not at all, Anne. It's nice know I'm not the only one who can talk and talk and talk about it!

That sounds like they're really on top of things - great news that he's so on the ball. Were you referred through the NHS after your 3rd?

A friend of mine was taking aspirin anyway, apparently you can just buy it? Thoughts on that with (hopefully) next pregnancy?

Thanks tiffin. I'm just hoping for it all to have cleared to be honest. That will be the best outcome I think

Thank you so much Anne that's such a useful post. Sounds like a chat with the GP is in order in a few weeks. I should have probably seen them already about an injury I got to my leg a month or two back - still hurts a bit and I think I may have fractured my shin a little, so I'll kill two birds.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Emvy I really really hope it's all ok.

To sum up. "Just bad luck" probably covers it. But he's used this protocol for 16 years and is convinced a lot of women have clotting issues they can't yet diagnose so he treats that anyway.