Getting Ready For Baby Challenge Thread 5

unicorn that's amazing, seahorses are very cute but you're right about not knowing about the size! They need to stick to common garden animals or pets so we know where we are. Think my friend said she was carrying a baby penguin by the end of her pregnancy.

parnsips sorry about the BFNs, remind me how many dpo you are? The atmosphere at work sounds awful.. hope you aren't too exhausted today.

Grumpy I just hope it hasn't upset you too much. You definitely sound like you know your rights and you know what you want! :)

Jupiter the problem with animal comparisons is that it's harder to visualise. And I've not heard of half the tiny animals. Right now I have a pygmy seahorse... (I mean, I can picture what it will look like, but no idea what size it might be!!)

5DPO here and feeling all manner of symtoms (bloating, headaches, sore boobs) so checked on Ovia for same point last month and symptoms were identical! Maybe she does have her uses.. scarily my emotions follow the same pattern each month too - makes me thing my whole mental state is hormone related and not based on reality. Hmm..

confused thanks lovely! I'm glad google was reassuring, your debt doesn't sound unmanageable at all. It will all be fine. Lucky bubble with you as a Mum :)

Ohh Tigger bet you can't wait to see your little ladybird. I prefer an animal comparison to all the fruit stuff. Good luck!

Wow grumpy that is outrageous, sorry you were put in that position and felt you had to justify your choices. As others have said there is legal protection in place but I know that doesn't always feel like a comfort. In the NHS they can move me anywhere as long as it's the same pay. I'm positive I will be moved out of the new and dynamic city based service into somewhere else more county based (and boring).. ultimately though when we have our babies this might not seem to upsetting? I totally empathise with your fears though after so many years of hard work.

glitters hope your dad is on the mend now

Omg Grumpy that's so bad! It's a tough position to be put in, I would be trying to find a way, when you do get to tell them you're pregnant, to gently mention your rights disguised as asking what your options are? I know you probably don't want to come across as demanding though, they are murky waters for sure

I'm nervous about telling work because I only came back from Mat leave 6 months ago, but I know that realistically they can't won't have a problem with it. I have a new line manager though and he is, while very nice, a bit unprofessional and I'm not sure he knows how to handle things like that - a few weeks ago my dad was very ill in hospitable and a doctor had (wrongly) told him that there was nothing they could do and he would be gone shortly. My manager's responses was, "well he is 70" and "If you do have to go and say goodbye, I'll try and get it so you can have a medical day instead of having to use annual leave" . Having to tell him plus currently waiting to get the okay to go back full time has be pretty nervous to announce ATM!

Sorry as well, lot's to catch up on on this thread! I still have a feeling you're getting that BFP Parsnips :) I'm feeling kind of anxious atm, am approaching 6 weeks now and don't really have any symptoms, last time I had a few obvious ones by this point :(

Yes my role is the only really equivalent role but I'd have to prove that another role at same current pay (e.g. on the client team) wasn't equivalent (it's not as less there is much less upside and prospects but hard to prove that). No way I'm risking not getting my exact job back! Anyway it would be too detrimental to take more than 6months (and I wouldn't want to be at home much longer than that anyway)

Wow, as if TTC isn't hard & complex enough on it's own... it creates all sorts of other shockwaves! Sounds like you handled it like a pro grumpy (even tho you shouldn't have to at all!)

My job doesn't come with the politics (mobile hairdresser) but it's worrying me about letting my clients down/not being able to take enough time off/having enough work when i want to come back/not having anyone to recommend to them while im away blah blah blah!

Yet another thing for us girls to deal with that the menfolk don't!

That's shocking Grumpy!! I'd say you've done the right thing for now, but definitely don't get into any further discussions about it with your employer. The cynic in me also says that you should write down what was said and keep a record of anything else out of the ordinary that happens... just in case!

I know you have the right to change your mind on how much leave etc but I would want to be crystal clear that it would be under 26 weeks to protect my right to my exact role back (so they don't start planning to move me sideways out of my strategic role).

Thanks parsnips it was hard to not answer but I was trying to be vague in our intentions I basically said yeah maybe we will in the future but DH knows he would need to step back in his career if he wants that. I could not bring myself to say no we aren't planning to, as it would then seem odd if I announce a pregnancy in a few months.
Also I have my DD already and worked hard to get to where I am, they know that.

Grumpy it's so difficult. It's outrageous that they asked tbh. I think if it's an American company and an American boss, that may be why they think it's ok to ask... employment rights and maternity rights suck in America! Also, parsnips will correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think they're allowed to make you say how much mat leave you're going to take before you take it. And I think you have the right to change your mind!!! I do understand it's a difficult position for you, as you clearly enjoy your career and it's important to you. It completely sucks that you have to think about all these issues. :(

No specific project tigger and I'm not sure it's legal wiggley (I know it's illegal in interviews I'm not sure about in a current role!). My next promotion is 2yrs away (will likely be a bit delayed if I have a baby but I'm ok with that).

They pretend it's friendly chat but it's so blatant! I'm in a key strategic role and there's only one other woman on our team. It would be really difficult for them if I took a year mat leave which is why I think they are asking. But why not give me a chance, I feel like I'm being judged for being female married and 30 while we might not even want more kids at all (obviously we do now but we were on the fence until recently, mainly because of my career). One thing is for sure, I'll have to tell them upfront I'm taking only 6m leave (worried it will need to be 3m..) and DH the rest.

Welcome flower definitely the most supportive board!

Grumpy I can't believe they questioned you on your intentions!! It's so hard being a woman in a career. It sounds like you made it clear there's a plan in place when you do need mat leave and that should be enough to reassure them, is there a big project in the offing is that why they're being so direct?

Jupiter your friend is so lucky to have you!

Confused glad you're feeling better I agree my debt would be minimal without knobhead but there we go live and learn!

So I'm officially 6 weeks today with scan on Friday to check everything is in the right place. Baby is apparently the size of a blueberry or ladybird now. Oh said I had a dream last night that you had the baby and we had a little girl. He's so cute.

Grumpy I'm shocked they even asked you?! Is that legal? Surely your ttc plans are no ones business but your own? Try not to worry about ur though, it's hard but they will either judge you or not and there's nothing you can do about that. There are laws in place to protect you (hopefully) so it's really not your concern.

I keep having the same doubts. A colleague recently got pushed into leaving as bosses would only offer her her old hours back and she wanted to work PT. It is so unfair, but life goes on and your tiny bundle of joy will be worth these obstacles and will fade into insignificance when you're holding your baby. ❤️

Confused I agree with others, it's not the end of the world as long as you're keeping your head above water. And you got a head start by buying lots of bargain bits already! Tbh, I know we'll be in the same position with credit cards after our honeymoon.

Hi ladies wow lots to catch up on I have had a full on day at work as my big boss is here from America. Meetings all day then dinner with the big boys. Been grilled asked nicely about baby plans which I massively resent because I'm getting judged even before I fucking do it. Made great efforts to explain DH would be part time / SAHD if we were to go down that road. I'm now worrying massively about the impact on my career (even just perception wise) even if I take minimal time off. ARGH

Welcome flower

Confused if we're exchanging lutes things are getting a bit bizarre...! ;) Glad you're feeling happier about things! Definitely a good way to look at it, it's all ok so long as you are happier!

Sorry about all the dick exs!!

Jupiter your friend is definitely lucky to have you. And of course you're not selfish! Natural for it to stir up inner concerns you have. Hopefully she has success with ivf later down the line!

Awhh all you ladies are lovely!... i consulted doctor google and it would seem that although my debt seems large and overwhelming as its not even half of what i earn after tax we are ok for the moment! Lol tbh ive thought about it and so what if it takes 6 years to clear? The payments gradually get smaller and even as it is we still have some savings each month! and if we come into some money we can always use that to help!

Seven i have 4 but 2 are interest free and 1 is so something like 4% and the othef is ridiculous! But they are all cut up! I understand your pain with multiple cards though!

Jupiter you are literally so lovely! I am sure ur tubes will be fine hun! And let the lute exchange commence! Lol

Tigger stupid bastard ex's are literally the worst! I wouldn't have barely any debt if it wasn't for mine!

Buzz DS will be 2 in May.

Jupiter we used Preseed last time & worked a treat so will be using the same again!

Thanks for the kind words everyone, you’re all bloody lovely. My tubes and I are extremely appreciative

flower - seven does our fantastic updates that is at the top of the thread :) how old is your lo?