When is the right time to have a baby?

Do you definitely want children eventually, or is this a "should I have them at all?" dither? What does your DH think?

I agree that there's never an absolutely "right" time, and that you will you will get fat / feel unattractive / lose some independence / change your relationship with your DH. None of those things needs to be entirely negative. It's a bit like a roller coaster -- if you are sure that you'll enjoy yourself once it gets going you grit your teeth and get on even though you know that all the way up to the start of the first drop you'll be thinking "why am I doing this? Can I change my mind now, please?"

Yes, you have to bear in mind that it might not be as easy as you think. We're all brought up to think that one missed pill and bingo. But it took us four years.

sorry...

really though: why are yiou paranoid about being unattractive? when did you last see an ugly pregnant woman? ok so you might have a few pounds to lose afterwards but ya know, there are more important things. you don't have to leave your fab job either unless you're a professional abseiler or something.

Totally agree with the others. I think Twinklemegan has summed it up perfectly. For me, once I'd had DS (6 months ago), I have enjoyed all the changes in my life - relationship with DH is different but better, my career is happily on hold for the time being and the 'loss of independence' is short lived. We're beginning to get out and do things without the baby now and up until now, we only wanted to do things with LO anyway! Good luck

the right time is about 4pm imo. then you can have afternoon tea afterwards.

I don't think there is ever a right time. You don't know how you will be - you might pop back to your pre preg size in no time, you might have a great pg and look amazing and feel fantastic, it will probably bring you closer to your hubby (after you get over the initial couple of months). You could keep your job and request job share.

The thing is if you leave it until you feel ready it might never happen. We would have loved children years ago but my DH was in a very serious accident and took a couple of years to get well enough to TTC. We were half expecting to have conception problems but were really lucky. The thing is though - you don't know until you try. I'd say discuss with your DH and go for it!

any time and no time is the right time

IMO there is never a "right" time. If you wait for the right time you could end up leaving it too late. Just go for it.

Hi Gangle. Welcome to mumsnet.

Sorry - you won't want to hear this, but you will get fat, you will feel unattractive, have loss of independence and you won't ever have the same relationship with dh.

However.....

It's well worth it.

btw, Mumsnet is not just for mums. We even have some...

men!