TTC - First Time! (2)

Hey girlies, I'm feeling a little better today. Hubs has calmed down and my hangover has gone. Back to normal.
It seems a few of us are having a bit of a miserable time right now. It's not great is it. Surrounded by babies and pg ladies, although probably no more than normal, just we notice it more right now!
I would have been 12 weeks now and probably going for my proper scan this week. Feels like forever ago when I took the test and got my bfp! Another life ago 😳 I'm finding it hard to let go of the milestones and dates. I will be fine for a few days then the what ifs will appear. My due date was November and I'm just praying I'm pregnant by then. I know it's a while off and anything can happen but time goes fast, I'm into my 8th month since my wedding now!! It's horrible when people ask 😳
Really hope we all get some good news soon, I think we all need a bit of a boost.xxx

@Twistedsister7 I am sorry you felt so down but glad you feel a little better. I know it's so cliche but we just gotta or patient. I have endometriosis and every time I go on a board and see someone else with that got pregnant my heart breaks but I am also filled with joy for them as I know how hard it is.

@mistybxx I hope you are feeling a little better, it's so hard when people just ask "when are you gonna have a baby then" like just hold on, let me pop into Tesco and buy one...eyeroll

I'm having a bit of a rough time. My 2 years wedding anniversary is coming up in a few months and it's just depressing me as I thought by now we'd have a toddler. I only went on bc because we couldn't conceive and my endo was so bad, but what if I wasted all those months? Yes my endo is much better now I hardly have any pain but what if I missed my chance? My best friend had a baby last month, her sister in law had one last week and her actual sister just found out she's pregnant with her 4th; I am so happy for them and I LOVE my best friends baby, I even helped her pick out the name but part of me is really struggling with it. To make matters worst my stepmother touched my belly the other day and asked if I was pregnant, I had to tell her no I just put on weight, I felt so shitty I just wanted to cry. And this morning I dreamt I had the most beautiful baby girl, and we loved her so much and then I woke up and tried to go back to sleep just to see her again. I feel like I'm going mad.

AF is due tomorrow and I'm dreading getting out of bed in case she came early. Anyway sorry for the rant ladies, I'm just having a rough time x

Oh you poor love @MistyBxx. I would never ask another woman (unless they were a very close friend and we were discussing the following anyway!) when she was planning on having a baby, esp at a baby shower! It's nobody's business. How are you feeling today? Xx

No AF this morning, but BFN using FMU! Guess AF is going to be late. This whole process is frustrating me, and it has only been two months...

Hey girlies, sorry to see a couple of you are feeling down, I can totally empathise today, I'm under a huge dark cloud 😣
Enjoyed the baby shower yesterday, it was lovely and I even felt a little kick on my hand which I thought would break my heart but actually made me feel so much love for my friend, and excited for her! Also found out another (not close) friend who was there is 14 wks. She got married last year but didn't want to try immediately, then decided to try this year, came off the pill around New Year and boom, caught first cycle 😳 like literally, how the fuck does that just happen for people?? I was happy for her as well of course but she was moaning all day about feeling tired etc and I felt like rolling my eyes 😒 obviously everyone talked babies allllllll day which was lovely and I had a few "when are you gonna have one then, come on you've been married 7 months!" my poor best friend (who knows everything) was cringing for me and I couldn't look at her 🙈 she was trying to change the subject but all eyes were on me and I was like "oh god knows, I'm happy with my wine at the mo!" Oh and we all laughed and laughed and I did NOT feel like laughing. But I did drink my wine and have a horrible hangover today. Argued with hubs coz he was annoyed I stayed out so late (he's not a control freak but I did go a bit ott, spent a bomb, my phone died and I slept at my sister's without telling him so he was right to be annoyed) now we are not talking right now, my head is throbbing and I'm feeling generally shitty. I would have been 12 weeks this weekend and was looking forward to the baby shower to tell my pregnant friend (afterwards, didn't want to steal her thunder). So yeah. My positivity isn't so strong today. Also no sign of af and no idea when it's gonna arrive. God I've been in limbo with one thing or another for ages 😡 sorry to be depressing but a bit like twisted I just feel really down xxx

Ttcnovice it will be our turn soon!!! I'm going to try to relax a little. I am incredibly stressed out at the moment workwise so that won't be helping and I need to take care of myself better!!

Confused that must have been a hard decision to make! But if it's the best decision for you and your DH, then ultimately it will have been the best decision for your future DC . Definitely do stick around on here!

Ahh bless you twisted I understand exactly how you feel . It's so, so hard isn't it! Everyone else seems to just look at their DH/OH to fall pregnant, whereas here we are, 6 months of bloody military planning, and still desperately waiting for those BFPs! My DH is the same as yours too, keeping an optimistic look on things and saying "it will happen for us" - I know all too well it's hard to believe that at times though! I'll try to channel a bit of that positivity for you though and remind you that the best things in life are worth waiting for... let's just hope we don't have to wait much longer hey .

@ConfusedWannaBeMum you can definitely stay on here! Sounds like you have made the right decision for you and DH

Glad you're feeling a bit better @Twistedsister7. I hope this doesn't sound awful, but what I can't stand is people who pop out loads of (unplanned) kids by five different dads then moan they have no money!

Hi @StaceyRavis. I've heard stories of people getting pregnant just after stopping the pill! I stopped two months ago now after nearly 12 yrs on the pill. We are just coming up to the end of cycle 2, so I can't offer a personal story yet, but I think everyone is different. My GP said that you should give your body three months to 'adjust' though. I had crazy mood swings and cramping in the first month off the pill, but thankfully things have been much more settled this month. Who knows if AF will show her face tomorrow though! I have no cramps today, but have given in to sugar, salt and fat cravings and have eaten really badly all weekend, so we will see!

Thank you twisted that's really nice of you. It feels sad as I am ready now. Stopped the pill etc.

BUT with the opportunities that opened up last week for DH and the other rings we need to consider I think it's the right choice. This way a baby will hopefully be born into our family home and we will be better off financially. And it's only three more months so not too long. It seems silly to be emotional about three or four months but I do feel sad.

I will use the time to eat well and take the vitamins. Can I still stay on here? I love reading about everyone's progress!

Confused I imagine that was a tough decision but I admire you for it. I'm not sure I could do the same.

Twisted, I'm sorry you're having a rough time!

DH and I had a lot of log discussion over the course of the week. We both want a baby.
Having read up on advice about prenatal vitamins and discussing our careers we've decided to put TTC on hold till summer. This way I can take three months of vitamins now. And falling pregnant from August onwards would be a lot more convenient money wise. And opportunity came up at work for him and same for me. We will hopefully also have completed on a home by then.

I'm upset but it's a compromise we've reached. My head says this is the absolute best decision. But my heart and uterus cry out for a baby

Does it effect fertility/ttc if you have previously used contraception for a long time? I've used either the contraceptive implant or the pill for around the last 15 years. Now ttc #1. Been ttc for 10 months. Any advice would be really appreciated Thankyou

Thanks charl & flatwhite. I'm not feeling so deflated now but I have unfollowed my cousin temporarily on Facebook. Because so many people were commenting it was there every time I logged in! This scan pic staring me in the face!! Ive wished her well & I do mean it as I'm sure deep down she's grateful. She's just needs to think about how she talks about it xx

Oh big hugs @Twistedsister7. I'm due on Mon and got a BFN today on a cheap test strip I bought on eBay. There will always be pregnancies and babies everywhere, but we notice them 100 x more while TTC. Hope you feel a bit better tomorrow. X

Aw twisted I feel your pain!! You feel like you're being a dickhead to other people but because it's so close to your heart and it's totally normal!! I think it's ok to be how you are, like the other girls said I'm sure we've all been there!! The main thing is that we don't let it ruin things for too long, have to get on with it and hold our heads high. Our time will come when it is right, but at least for now we've got here to have a good old moan! X

And Millie I had no idea I'd ever feel this way & was convinced I'd be so relaxed & what happens will happen in its own time. Wow what an eye opener the last 6 months has been!!

Thanks Emma & Millie.

Now I've had a good cry I feel a little better, still gutted it's not me but not on the verge of tears anymore.

AF is due tomorrow but no usual symptoms so will probably be a day or two after. I did a CB today & bfn. It wasn't fmu but still. It gave me the jolt I needed to stop convincing myself this was the one. Probably best to be realistic.

@Twistedsister7 really feeling for you right now, wish I could give you a hug! TTC is so emotionally draining sometimes, something I didn't really expect coming into it. ❤️❤️❤️ Is your AF due tomorrow?

Hope it's sunny where everyone is today!

@twisted sending hugs your way! It's an emotional roller coaster and when you see people announcing they're PG all over social media and running everyone's faces in their business (whether it be for the right or wrong reasons!) it can be hard to deal with. I get that. Every time I see another couple get engaged or announce they're pg it's makes me angry at my OH which I then get angry at myself for! I love him to bits, we have a mortgage and we're planning our futures but it still makes me bat shit crazy when other people get there before me. I think it's normal? 🤔 Lol.
@flatwhite that's another thing, I take care of myself and eat well for the most part but today all I've eaten is crisps and chocolate and my waist line will never thank me for it 😭
Some days it's genuinely a struggle being a woman. Men have no idea how easy theyve got it at times. I'm so woe is me today 😩

Oh my god I've just had it!!

A friend who has endometriosis is accidentally pregnant, my cousin who's words were 'well if I get pg he will have to stay with me' has just announced on Facebook & ive spent the afternoon with DHs close female friend who has just had a baby. I've just locked myself upstairs & cried my heart out. It's just all too much. And not to sound petulant but it's not fair!! I just can't even explain the despair but I know some of you are right there with me.

It's hard because I'm so happy for the friend with endo because it's something she though she couldn't have but the cousin one tipped me over the edge!! The way she talks it's like this baby is a means to an end & yet here I am trying so hard & it just won't happen for me. I know I'm not out yet & I was hopeful but now I just don't feel pregnant & im waiting for the inevitable.

DH can see I'm upset but he just keeps saying generic things like it'll happen when it happens like he just doesn't feel it the way I do each cycle. I just want to run away right now but the sad thing is I have nowhere to go so we're just sat here in silence.

I have tears streaming as I type. I feel like I've lost something but I never really had it in the first place so why am I even upset. There are people actually experiencing physical losses. I'm not there but I strangely feel heartbroken today!!

I'm sorry for the emotional rant but like I said, no one to talk to.

@Twistedsister7, fingers crossed for tomorrow!

Poor you @littleemma1, that sounds horrible. Really hope you get some answers at the doctor on Tuesday.
@MistyBxx, hope you enjoy the baby shower. You've got such a positive attitude . Enjoy a few cheeky wines!
I tested today (I think I'm 12 dpo but I don't actually know what day I ovulated, so that's just a guess) and it was a BFN. Not surprised at all. It wasn't an FRER though. Have also had a craving today for choc and crisps, so I'm 99% sure AF is on her way! Haha! Just want it over with now so we can get on with cycle 3.

Apparently because AF took so long to get here it would appear this is a far worse than normal period 😩 I feel rotten. So sick and tired and just generally run down and I'm so god damn heavy 😩 Really hope the doc has some answers on Tuesday because I really hope I won't have to cope with cycles like this!

@misty I hope you have a nice time at the baby shower!

@twisted that was something I was getting. A constant stitch like pain with no period for a long time which had prompted me to go to the docs. If you don't feel right about it then go. We know our bodies best!