TTC - First Time! (2)

Hey forevertimes ovia changes my fw too. I think it edits itself as you submit info. Like if your cycles are irregular, it takes all the info from all of the cycles you've added and balances the average length. When I started proper ttc in November, I went back a year on both ovia and clue to give them as much info as possible so they could balance everything with as much detail and accuracy as possible but then when you have an abnormal one, it can change it by days or even a week!! These apps are totally not an exact science but then neither are opks lol so dtd whenever is defo the best 😂

Morning all :)

So sorry to hear about the bfns. Keep staying positive ladies! You never know when it will happen!

I'm back from my staycation and peed off with ovia! It's changed my fw! So now I'm all confused.

How can I be CD 21 (usually 32 day cycles) and not ovulated yet? I'm not using opks so it's all pretty much guesswork, but I thought I would ovulate 14 days before AF.

Just keeping on DTD in case haha

I'm so glad you don't think I'm nuts 😂😂😂 it does sound a bit weird when you proper look into it but your dh is spot on, everyone says it all the time, but nobody notices it coz it's called different things... you've probably thought about it yourself when you talk about something and then say "oh god don't jinx it" or "Sod's law that happened" it's not Sod's law, it's a different law! Like have you ever thought of an old friend you haven't seen for ages and spend a couple of mins fondly remembering chats you had and times you were with them then out of nowhere they friend request you on fb or text you for the first time in months and you think "what a coincidence"... it's not a coincidence! It can literally happen on that small a scale!
So defo give it some thought chick and please be kind to yourself this weekend. You ARE an amazing woman, you're built to make a baby and if you're strong and in control of everything else in your life you can definitely control your mindset! Don't fool yourself into thinking you have zero control over this process, we can't physically control conception itself of course... well, I don't want to say we can because obviously some people physically can't due to circumstances biologically, but have to believe we can definitely control how we feel about it and react to our bad days.
Have a lovely weekend everyone and if anyone has any questions about any of the law of attraction stuff, please ask me. I don't want to seem like a witch or a crazy hippy lol but there's got to be something in it 😍xx

Thanks flat hope you enjoy your night tonight, prosecco and nibbles sounds perfect!

Misty thanks so much for explaining in so much detail! You don't sound crazy at all, it does genuinely seem to make sense. DH is always saying to me if I think negatively about things then only negative things will happen, so I guess that's the same way of looking at it. I love the idea of taking things into our own hands (or minds!) too, so far the TTC process has just seemed so out of my control, and as a control freak in every other area of life that's been the hardest part I think! As you said at this stage what have we got to lose - we've only got something amazing to gain, so it definitely is worth a try. I'll have to give that video a watch once I've got over the "I'm rubbish at being a woman" stage . I'll come back here on Monday telling you just how amazing a woman I really am xxx

flatwhite yeah dr google is awful! I went through that thinking omg my periods are more like a couple of days now but do you know what, they've been regular and I'm still having them so I'm not adding how long they are to my list of worries lol it's hard enough controlling my emotions and thoughts as it is so if there's one less thing to worry about, let it go lol.
Your evening sounds lush! I was planning on going over my friend's house and having some fizz in her hot tub but af is in full force so may be fizz on the couch instead. Not as glam as a lazy-spa but it will do lol. Xx

No babe you're like most people lol in fact, I am worried about mentioning it coz I'm scared I will sound a bit kooky and mad 😂 but the way I see it, we are driving ourselves mad with this process anyway so I think we need to have an open mind. I'm putting myself at risk of total ridicule here but sod it!

Basically, I shall try and keep this as short as I can... we know from school and science, everything in the world is made of energy, atoms and waves. We are all atoms and we have our own energy and the most powerful energy we have is our minds. There's laws of gravity, laws of the poles (magnets etc) but hardly anyone knows about the law of attraction. It's just a case of controlling our own minds and harnessing its energy focusing it in the right direction.
Our minds are made from little bits of electric energy which attracts stuff to us like magnets, good or bad, it doesn't matter, it's energy. You know the saying "money goes to money" it's true! People who have money think positively about money so they attract more money into their lives. And the opposite is the same, we all know someone that's always ill, they tell themselves "oh I've got plans Saturday, I'm probably gonna be ill," and guess what, they get ill! Or you're running late for work and you say in your head "oh god I hope I don't get stuck in traffic" and guess what, roadworks everywhere. These are just tiny examples.

Basically, we need to keep a check of our self-talk and our mindset coz everything we think and most importantly FEEL has a frequency! Whether it's good or bad, we are giving that frequency out and attracting it like a magnet! It's hard but we have to keep focusing on the end result, being pg and having a healthy baby 💕 really FEEL it, put yourself there in your mind's eye and really feel that joy and happiness inside how you'd feel seeing that bfp and it WILL happen! But the more we focus on what we don't want (which is natural for most people, everyone thinks I don't want AF to come, I don't want to see that bfn) but that's what we talk about every day, that's what we give our attention and emotion to, that's what we are giving out, and that's what we are attracting.

Mindset is so important and I really hope you all don't think I'm bonkers lol I just figure where we are now, I don't think there's anything wrong with looking outside the box and focusing on the positive thoughts and feelings!! If anyone honestly thinks this is total bollocks, I won't be surprised lol I won't be offended and I won't think anyone is stupid for not believing it 😂

But if you've got some spare time, I would definitely recommend watching this film on YouTube. It's called The Secret. It's very weird lol I laughed when I first watched it but I've seen it about 10 times now and I keep it saved on my playlist coz I tell you what, when I'm feeling down and like the world is on top of me, I take myself off and watch it start to finish and it reminds me to just try and keep my thoughts and feelings on the right side- positive!!
And even if you don't believe in any of it and think it's all total bull, the worst thing that will happen is you at least try and feel a little more positive inside and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that is there 😊

Hello lovely ladies! So sorry @ttcnovice. I felt like you earlier in the week. It doesn't help either when social media is full of babies and pregnancy announcements.

@MistyBxx, thank you for your reassuring words. When I was a teen before I went on the pill at 19, my periods were abnormally long (ten days!) so a 2 day period was worrying me. I'm my own worst enemy going on Google!

I'm feeling a bit better today. DH away on a footie trip with his friends this weekend, so I'm having ten girlfriends over tonight for prosecco and nibbles! Have a nice weekend everyone. Xx

Misty I'm totally with you on the boredom of it all. Not just of hearing about others being successful straight away (which seems to be happening every other day at the moment ), but also of the TTC process itself! I'm bored of OPK's, bored of DTD to a schedule rather than just because we want to, and mostly bored of testing to see a glaring white BFN! Your positive attitude is amazing though with everything you've just been through, so I'm definitely going to try to channel you! Just maybe not until tomorrow so I can have today moping .

I've heard of the law of attraction, but not too sure on what it is? Does that make me really dopey .

It IS horrible and I know what you mean about getting angry, I'm BORED more than anything, bored of hearing how other people have come off the pill, winked at their partner and surprise, pregnant! Wow wee, like isn't that just amazing, pat on the back like somehow it's some skill to catch immediately... it's not a skill, they are not better than us or more fertile than us or more womanly or anything. They just didn't think about it and caught at the right time 😂 so don't feel bad for feeling anything, it is frustrating.
All I would say is don't think the worst. Has anyone on here heard of the law of attraction??xx

Oh shit ttc sorry chick I was writing my message as you posted 🙈xx

Just test ttc lol I defo would, hubby or not 😂

pibbee bless you, it's horrible trying to work everything out but don't write off May yet, it only takes one little swimmer!

flat my periods are really short. Before I went on the pill yrs ago, they used to be long and heavy, a whole week! The pill changed my flow completely to 3 days, very light. I'd literally use 1 regular tampon a day, and just a carefree pantyliner in the night! One box of tampons would last me years lol. Since coming off the pill, they've been VERY heavy for day 1, day 2 has either been heavy or much lighter, I'm lucky if I even spot by day 3! Very short! But much more painful and everything 😖

Speaking of period, girlies.... AF has arrived for me this morning. I've never come on on a Saturday in my life lol my cycle has all changed now since the mc 😳 it's not flooding or overly painful so that's good but I wonder how long it will last... and as soon as it's finished, I can properly get back to business!!

I did end up testing, and it was a BFN. So that's me out this month, yet again! Feeling quite angry to be honest, it just feels so unfair when people who aren't even trying can get pregnant by accident. I feel like it's never going to happen for us, and the thought of that is just truly awful .

Really sorry Pibbee don't give up on May just yet, you may ovulate early or a little late, so there's definitely still a chance xxx

Definitely worth booking a GP appointment if you're worried flat even if it's to put your mind at rest like you said. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about though, probably just yet another strange thing in the TTC minefield!

I'm currently 12DPO (I think) and CD27, lying here in bed trying to decide whether to test or not before I go for FMU! DH has left for work already and I'd hate to get a BFP without him here (not that I think I'll get one, but just in case). Don't know what to do!

Hello all!

Well AF has got me this morning so I'm out. Think DP was more gutted than me tbh, I hadn't got my hopes up this cycle despite our efforts during FW. I will be away for what's most likely to be my FW for May, so pretty much already onto June for me!

@flatwhite I wouldn't worry too much about that. I have read that short periods can mean something or nothing at all. Worth going to the docs if you are concerned though. Average length can range from 2-7 days I think, so you are definitely within that.

@Mayes hello, welcome! I think it is possible to ovulate that early. I know you said your cycles are irregular - are they sometimes quite short?

Hi ladies. Well I had two days of heavy bleeding, and today absolutely nothing. My last period was only 3 days too, and very light on the 3rd day. I keep reading that lighter periods mean your fertility is decreasing. Can't stop worrying. Going to book a GP appointment to put my mind at rest if nothing else! Hope you're all ok. X

Hi guys I'm new here so please bare with me.
I have a question, I have irregular periods, finished af last Thursday but had bright red spot on that day just one bit and only on the tissue. Since then I've had cramps, nausea, sore boobs and major headaches, and I've been sleeping 12+ and still wanting more, when I normally only sleep for about 7ish hours.
I started doing opk test and it's flashing smiley at me the last 4 days which I thought was way too early as I only stopped af last Thursday?? I took a pregnancy test today and it was negative :(
Please can anyone help or offer advice

Actually I am on CD25, just checked. So looks like this cycle wont be one of the weird 25-day ones, but no idea when AF will rock up, sometime in the next few days...

Hello all!

@flatwhite I know exactly what you mean about that gut feeling! I have the exact same feeling about myself. You are not alone in this. It sucks, we are our own worst enemies sometimes.

@emma i dont think there is anything wrong with your wedding idea at all. I am contemplating similar for me and DP. As the others have said, it is yours and DP's day and no one else's. Not selfish at all...

I think I have got some spotting starting :( CD26 (i think) so I suspect I am out for this month. I hadnt got my hopes up at all this time, but I am still disappointed. Oh well, onwards and upwards...

Aww @flat I'm so sorry, I was hoping to hear about your honeymoon baby. This month we DTD everyday of my fw (except 2 days when I fell) but I basically had sperm in me throughout the week ( how nasty does that sound?!?). I guess it just wasn't our month babe, fx for next cycle

@misty I'm so glad you're feeling better x

@emma my endo is quite bad painwise but luckily it hasn't extended to my tubes, which I am thankful for. In regards to te wedding I don't think it's selfish at all. It's YOUR wedding and it's what you and your OH want that matter. A small ceremony can be just as beautiful and special as a big one, what matters is how you feel and that you are surrounded by your closest loved ones.

@littleemma1 not at all selfish!

I live in the Middle East and met and married my DH out here. We had a tiny wedding with 2 witnesses and I had gone straight from work, so not dressed up at all. Since then we've been saving up the money for a 'wedding party' which we will do out here and an 'English wedding' at home. But this won't be happening any time soon. As we are now married we have other priorities for spending now- like saving up for baby number 1. I never dreamed of a big white wedding so I am more than happy with how things have turned out.

According to Ovia I am in my fw now and DH has decided to treat me to a staycation for the weekend (it's the weekend here now). I'm pretending it's our honeymoon! Haha so hopefully we will be successful!

Emma I'd say just do whatever is best for you and your OH. At the end of the day the marriage is only about (and for) the two of you, so the opinions or thoughts of anyone else don't matter. I think it's easy to forget what marriage is all about when you get swept up in all the planning of a big celebration, but as you said you just want to marry your OH and that is the important bit. A small ceremony with just your immediate family can be just as lovely and special (if not more so!) than a huge event anyway .

Hope everyone is feeling slightly better! How's everyone doing?
@misty you might enjoy it when you get back to work, but the thought of going back probably isn't appealing for anyone! lol. Do you enjoy your job? If so, try to remember how much you enjoy it and that might help. If you don't, then I don't blame you for not wanting to go back! 😜

Can I ask peoples opinion please on something not TTC related?
OH and I are currently not engaged because we don't have the money to spend on a big wedding and don't want to be engaged until we can plan a wedding.
I'm not interested in a big wedding, I just want to marry him as that's the most important thing. Is it selfish to have a small tiny wedding, like literally just the ceremony and not have a celebration with the larger families? We'd probably still have parents and grandparents with siblings there with our witnesses but that's it. It's just so bloody expensive! Xx

Oh flat try not to think like that chick, I know it's hard if you've never been pg before but what I'm noticing is people are either catching immediately like as soon as they come off the pill etc OR it's the opposite and they're taking a good while. In the last fortnight, I've seen/spoken to 3 friends who caught literally immediately... and others like me and some on here who are taking months and months lol it's like there's no in between 😂
But we will all get there!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

I really wanted a honeymoon baby too, but it sadly wasn't to be. Who knows why, as my FW was in the middle of the honeymoon, and we DTD nearly every day that week! I just have a horrible feeling I'm going to have trouble conceiving. I don't know why I feel like that, it's just one of those 'gut feelings' I get. Sigh.
@Pibbee @ttc, keeping everything crossed for you both! @Misty, glad you're feeling a bit better. X

Hey girlies, sorry af has got some of you! I had high hopes for you jelly and flatwhite what a bugger 😡

I'm feeling a bit better than I was, don't know why I was so down, I bet getting pissed on sat night didn't help, alcohol is a depressant and since I've been over 30, the hangovers are so much worse, takes me days to get over a big night these days 😩

Still off work for another fortnight and do you know what, I don't want to go back 😳 I don't miss it, I love being at home on the couch, I'm not bored! I've always thought I'd be bored at home all day but I'm really not. I'm looking forward to maternity already! Just a small matter of getting pg first...

On that note, I'm on CD36 and not even a flicker of af symptoms. It's not a real cycle though as I'm counting cycle day 1 as the first day of proper bleeding of my mc which I know isn't correct but I don't know how else to count it! And I only stopped bleeding/spotting completely 18 days ago so this cycle is really messed up. Just want af to appear so I can start everything properly again!!xxx