Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

My body is playing a cruel joke on me. Thought I was having my first period after my mmc, I had all the grumpy symptoms last week and last night I had a spot of light brown bleeding after sex. But now nothing.

I just want to back to normal so I can focus properly on TTC

The RMC doctor said I was at no further risk of miscarrying, despite my 3 losses (at that point), so 15% each time, based on my age, general health etc.

Not sure what 4 means though.

I think worrying constantly is inevitable. As much as I hope we carry on being as fertile as we've been to date, I can't imagine feeling that optimistic about a future bfp at this point. But what can you do. If we're going to have babies we can't do anything but crack on.

Sorry AnneLovesGilbert just read your earlier post! If you have had one MC are you likely to MC in future pregnancies?

**AnneLovesGilbert thanks for your kind words, sorry to ask but why do you think you are going to lose this one too? This is what I am concerned with the ups and downs. My first pregnancy was so lovely and I had no problems. Now I feel like I will constantly be worrying in the future.

Only 4+5 fluffiny so they wouldn't see anything yet and I don't know much about ectopics. I guess maybe if the HCG stays at a certain level but there's nothing in the uterus they know it's elsewhere. Not sure.

I'm pretty fucked off today that not only am I shit at being pregnant, I'm also shit at miscarrying. If this one isn't going to stick, why is it hanging around?

DH was saying last night that he wished we didn't know and could have just enjoyed this part of the pregnancy then dealt with the loss when it happens, rather than being robbed - already - of any hope or optimism.

So sorry for your losses MouseLove and user

No one understands better what you're going through than the women on here.

user I had the same thing with a MMC diagnosed at the 12 week scan. There's nothing like the shock and awfulness. I ended up having an MVA as the medical management didn't work.

I bled that night but it stopped the next day and then nothing till my first af 4 weeks later. I had some pain for a couple of days which then got loads worse 4 days later and I ended up in a&e where they gave me antibiotics for an infection.

They weren't sure what caused it but I was feeling better a day or so into the ABs and it wasn't that bad. By then I was just weak and shattered I think so rested loads, ate lots of fruit and veggies and drank water, took vitamins etc.

We waited a month then cracked on and I got pregnant again straight away but looks like I'm going to lose this one too.

Mouse, it all sucks, there's no way round it, it's shit and I'm sorry for what you're going through. I can imagine your panic about having to wait for the thyroid specialist but get your MRI done and, as you say, get yourself fit and well again so you can be in the best shape for your next pregnancy.

You've been through a lot, so don't jump into a mad fitness regime just yet. It takes a while to stop being pregnant and to feel normal again. You don't get to 9+4 and then suddenly stop being pregnant, your body's been through a lot with carrying your baby and then your miscarriage so look after yourself and go easy.

anne how far gone are you anne is it too early to see on a scan then? How can they tell if it's ectopic or not. I'm keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you.

I had tests through the RMC fluffiny and everything's come back fine, on my last pregnancy and me. So we were super optimistic about trying again....

The EPU have told me to expect to mc this week and either way to go back for another HCG test on Monday. They're still considering a possible ectopic and I asked if there was a worry about waiting a week if it is, but they've said no.

Hi Ladies, I've followed this thread over from the Misscarriage page. I have recently had a MMC and only actually has the surgery yesterday so all very raw still. Physically I am OK but keep getting teary which is to be expected. I was at my 12 week scan and they found no heartbeat:( I am desperate for another baby but when I was being scanned yesterday before the op the nurse made a comment on having lots of follicles on my ovaries. She asked if I had PCOS or maybe that I am just really fertile As far as I am aware I don't have PCOS but reading up on this I'm not so sure. We had taken 3 years to conceive and I just want to get back to it as soon as I can. Are you ladies trying again? Or waiting for a couple of cycles. Emotionally I can handle it but now I am worried I have underlying issues. Sorry this post is a little rambled!

Hi ladies.

I am so sad to be here but I had a natural mmc Friday at 9+4 following several scans and tests earlier in the week and I'm absolutely heartbroken. In quite a lot of discomfort too. 😢

I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism in my 7th week and I believe it's what caused my miscarriage but of course that will never be confirmed.

I have been asked to not TTC while I stabilise my thyroid problem as it could have the same effect on a new pregnancy. I'll be seeing the specialist every 2 months with a potential for my wait to be up to 12 months. I'm absolutely gutted but this is really important to me. In the meantime I plan to focus on my health, fitness and wellness to be the best I can be. I also have rheumatoid problems so need an MRI scan which I had to postpone when I got my BFP.

I've been on a TTC journey for 3 years, losing 2 stone in 2016 and so I am really eager to try again when the time comes, I'm trying very hard not to let this ruin me. I'm 33 and desperate to have my first baby.

I really don't know what to expect now. I have another scan in 2 weeks (around the same time I would have had my 12 week scan, what a shitter) to make sure I've passed everything. I'm terrified I'll never be a Mum, when does the physical pain stop? When should I stop bleeding? How can I stop the waiting from slowly driving me insane?

Thank you ladies. I'm so sorry we're all here. X

daddysgirl it definitely sounds like you deserve a break away. It will relax you be kind to yourself. And who knows if your not pg before then that will be the perfect time to get the practice in. I'd book it anyway give you something to look forward to. Good luck.

fluffiny31 - I really didn't want to get obsessed but I should've known better. I'm the type of person that goes full speed at something once I've set my mind on it. I also thought I'd have no problems conceiving given the fertility history in all the females in my family #ignorance #rolleyes

I hate the fact that I can't just book a holiday and get annoyed at myself. The thing that was stopping me last year was I didn't want to be tee-total on holidays as I love a drink in the sunshine and of course I worried about how far on I would be and if it would be safe to fly. It also didn't bother me not going away as I had chosen TTC and that was that. However, now we are a year down the line and I'm desperate for a break away and to relax....however the thing that is stopping me is the worry of falling pregnant beforehand and then having a MC abroad. Really negative way of thinking I know

So the plan is to wait until April and book something last minute for May if I'm still not pg. OH away in April so we will miss a cycle because of that.

Sorry to hear your sad news DJ and I hope something happens soon so you know where you are with everything.

Sock, sometimes I think it's nice to have a distraction with work but also need to make you don't work too hard and over stress yourself. I'm slowly learning that it will come with plenty of ups and downs and the ladies on here have been so supportive, thank you all x

Just want to get a full cycle out of the way so we can start TTC again!

@owl1011 looks like we will be going to naught speeding school together then it's really good to have people to talk to in real life. The ladies on here are a great support too, there is normally someone around at all times of the day.

I've had a great source of comfort from a friend who had a miscarriage a year or so ago. We were never that close before, but she has been a real true friend to me over the past few weeks.

I've just started a new job, my new line manager knows what happens as I had to delay my start date but I don't know my new colleagues well enough to talk to them about what happened. In a way I find it a huge relief as I have lots to learn in my new job.

Emotional day here too. Been doubled over with cramps and what looks like implantation bleeding or start of af... either way ill be happy as i know my body is on the mend

That exact thing happened to me, I'm expecting a letter with a speeding fine! Thanks for the kind words and I'm also sorry that you're having a bad day sock. I actually caved today when my colleague asked me how I was doing after being off sick. I started crying so ended up telling her. She's actually pregnant and due when I would have been but it felt weirdly better having someone who knows, she's also become a close friend over the years and was so lovely about it all and really supportive.

I forget to say in my previous post, because I was feeling so sad and upset today I drove home from work in a bit of a sad day dream. I can't remember a huge stretch of the journey where the bastard average speed camera is. Bet I have fine heading my way

@owl1011 I am sorry you are having a bad day. I too have had emotional day and understand.

I feel like I'm about to come on, it will be my first period after my mmc and I'm dreading it. I have also got very upset with my husband and somewhat unfairly accused him of avoiding me. I guess I need to say sorry to him.

Daddysgirl gosh it sounds horrible what your going through. I'm dreading ttc as i don't want to get obsessed with it i think I'll let it rule my life and i know putting pressure on yourself can make things harder. But although I'm still not in a good place I'm counting down the days weeks for my period. Good luck Daddysgirl

Sorry your message was overlooked DJ, the thread gets so busy and I struggle to keep up with it.

My cycles returned to normal immediately, I am usually about 28-29 days and after my MMC, AF came after 31 days. Then the next cycle was shorter.

Anne - I know I couldn't cope with another loss at all and I'm still having counselling for the first and all the stress that comes with TTC. My counsellor tells me to maybe give up trying for a while but I feel at my age (36) I cannot possibly stop trying and that I'll do anything to have a child so will take the risks

We are going to book a holiday in May if I haven't conceived by April (OH has two holidays without me before then because I stupidly thought I'd be pregnant so declined going).

I'm wasting my life but don't see a way to stop tbh...

Anne you sound so strong. Have you had tests to why you mc then? I know i won't get anything like that yet because it's my first i just wonder if something is wrong with me especially saying my body went into spontaneous labour with my first now healthy child. Life is so cruel sometimes. My nurse i had during my mmc told me she had 3 healthy girls but 4 mc she thought it was boys that she couldn't carry and she thought it even more strongly when her 4th born was a boy with severe heart problems. It's weird i think how it all works. Praying for our rainbow children.

Just to say as well, someone said to me mid previous mc, don't try again until you know you can handle another loss.

I didn't know what to make of it at the time but DH and I decided the prospect of it was too awful to contemplate so we'd just crack on. We also decided that the stress of another potential loss would probably get worse the longer we put off trying, so we'd just get on it and travel hopefully.

I sent myself into a flat spin about either never conceiving again, or having another mc. But I did get pregnant again and I am now going to have another loss.

It's not going to kill me and we will try again. All we can do is continue to travel hopefully.

You sound very well prepared Miami, make sure you get the time you need to cover everything. They might have a standard first appointment patter and while that'll cover a lot, it might not cover all your concerns or questions so make sure they're properly listening.

Is there anything they can do mitigate your uterus shape being an issue? Sorry, I don't know anything about that.

I went from my apt to the path lab and I always think they're much better at taking blood there, they do it all day every day. I got butchered by the doctor yesterday at the EPU - as if to prove my point!

I felt good about cracking back on this past cycle but my anxiety definitely started rising in the 2WW, possibly just as I haven't had to do that for a while.

Not a clue where I'm at right not tbh. Not distressed really, just cracking on with stuff and waiting.

That's so good you've talked it through Miami. We pretty much obsessed about what the appointment would cover, what we hoped the tests would show or not show, what would happen next, for weeks before ours. Gave us something to look forward to.

I'd expect to have a lot of blood taken, even if they took a bunch during your mcs. I was expecting a scan, but not sure why, as they'd done loads during my MMC and it's all structurally fine.

My third HCG was 54. So 60, 56, 54. Definitely falling rather than doubling but so very slowly. Had a message to say the consultant has given the EPU "a plan" and to expect a call.