Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

Good news on your bfn owl, and there's no reason to wait once you've stopped bleeding and got a bfn.

MC started yesterday, crippling back ache last night so I was hopeful! Really relieved it's happened naturally. 5 weeks today. In my pjs on a towel on the sofa eating toast, drinking coffee and popping painkillers.

Feeling pretty okay actually. I've been lucky in the past to get my cycle back straight after so fx as it's so early that'll happen again.

Mouse and Water,** sorry to hear that you're both having a bad day, it's really tough when you start to think about what could have been. It's so frustrating when thinking about it all as it can be overwhelming. Stay strong and look after yourself, I've found a lot of help on here and sometimes just reading other ladies posts feels like a massive support. Thank you everyone xx

Took a test this morning to confirm and thankfully it's negative, now have to wait for AF to show up which will likely be whilst we are away on a short break but I know for the first time I'll be pleased to see her! I spoke to the EPU this morning to ask if there was any reason we had to wait 3 months (as doctor advised pre-ERPC) but she said as long as we wait for first AF we can start TTC again, not sure whether to wait a full cycle or just start as soon as we can

Sorry mouse, hadn't seen your latest post before I wrote mine.

So sorry you're feeling so down and I really get you about the milestones.

After all the discussions about pg tests, I had to have a look myself. 9 days on and still a very visible line for me. So sad and poignant.

Also, TMI alert, but I've been feeling very strange in the nether regions. Had a feel in the bath and (sorry!) there seems to be a nobbly thing sticking out of my cervix. I'm not sure if it's symptoms of a prolapse (which I had in the past but sorted with physio) or retained products which I had in my last mc. Delightful...

I'm also struggling with pregnant women. I've just unfollowed everyone on FB (literally) partly to contain my addiction and also to ensure I don't see news of pregnancies, news items about babies etc. It's a bit extreme but I've just got to keep away from it all at the moment.

Crazy, have you seen your GP. It doesn't sound right and you may be retaining some products and have an infection. Hold off DTD and get seen sweets. X

I think my bleeding has stopped, day 6 post mmc. It's just weird yellowish spotting right now. Yesterday I felt a bit better and not as tender. I cried myself to sleep last night, DH tried to help but a lot of things just hit me at once.

We have a massive family party in June. I would have had a lovely bump. Now i can't face the "when you having kids" questions that will probably be thrown at us.

The uncertainty of when we can TTC again is making me really sad. I just want to be pregnant again. The possibility of a 12 month waif is making my heart ache.

I won't have a baby in my 33rd year.

I won't have a baby by Christmas and New Years. (I got my BFP New Year's Eve)

I won't be pregnant for Mother's Day. I probably won't be pregnant for Father's Day in June.

And the very dark thought of 'Will I ever have a baby?' Just is sat there reminding me I'm 33 and childless. I wish I'd TTC when I first met DH 13 years ago, I really do.

Lentil, have to make light of it, he's so understanding and not at all prickish but I can tell it disgusts him, poor bloke! He perseveres to appease me but it can't be nice

vaperlady, that made me LOL! Thank you for the laugh on a bleak morning.

noroom, I only got a negative pg test three and a half weeks after my MC, and I'm still spotting a bit. It's definitely being an exercise in patience but at least I'm starting to feel like myself again.

Here you all are! I hadn't realised we maxed out the last thread and was worked that my bad chat was a conversation stopper .

Sounds like everyone is having a rough time so to you all although I did have to laugh at tarmacing OH's penis crazy .

I'm feeling pretty down too - seems like everyone I know it's announcing pregnancies with due dates within a month or so of what would have been my due date. Being super brave and offering hearty congratulations before going home and sobbing my eyes out . On the TTC bus but sometimes (like last night) I just don't want to DTD. Not sure why, really do want TC but just don't feel good about myself.

Anyway, smile plastered on face for the day ahead

I had a miscarriage 26th Jan bleeding stopped by 28th and negative test on 31st... now I have horrible black sticky discharge on and off :( TTC straight away but OH isn't too keen when it looks like I'm trying to tarmac his penis

Yep stupidly took a test this evening bloody second line almost jumped off the stick and did a dance.
Really just need to be patient and let things get back to normal.Think I'm just a bit anxious for there to be no complications that mean I need to go back to the epu.

Sounds like lots of us are having a rather tricky day.

iecgi I'm so sorry you're bleeding again.

noroom I'm sorry for your loss and that you've had to join us. I was always advised to do a test 2 weeks after my miscarriage as it should be negative by then. I guess there is more chance of it still being positive before then and there's all the emotions that that brings.

Buddha that sounds really tough with your OH.

Miami I hope tomorrow goes quickly so that you can get to your appointment and hopefully get some answers. I hope you don't mind me asking, was your last pregnancy sent away for genetic testing, or are there any results your expecting to get on Friday?

Owl, I think the thing that is making me most sad right now is the overwhelming feeling that my life is increasingly becoming different to my friends, and that that is going to get worse as more of them start families. And it frightens me. What if they no longer want to spend much time with me? What if I no longer want to or feel capable of spending time with them? I guess it is all fear of the what ifs and unknowns.

Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow all round.

It wasn't her fault at all.No one else knows and she is rightly excited.It was just the time and the place.Big circle of other mums,had to slap a grin on my face,congratulate her and ask all the usual questions,whilst claiming that a one and three year old are more than enough to keep me busy and we weren't even thinking of that yet(I know we have already been so lucky and my heart goes out to people trying for their first)
I am actually quite impressed with how I can fake normal.Really wanted to stamp my foot and shout it's not fair.
And then my crown fell off my tooth at lunch and had to make an emergency dental app where I got asked 'Is there any chance you could be pregnant'.
Also now have stinking cold so am looking at my body and wondering what it's going to balls up next.
Oh and my maternity exemption cert turned up today.I kid you not.
Extra vits can't do any harm so will grab some when I go on a supermarket run.

Hi can I join please.13 days on since my mmc at almost 9 weeks(thought I was 12)
All ended natuarally while waiting for my mva procedure.Couldn't get an apt for a week ended up starting whilst out with toddler,just what I had been trying to avoid happening,had to get the bus home.
Why doesn't anyone at the hospital tell you how bad the bleeding can be.Scared the life out of myself.
Think everything is going back to normal now,just waiting for a -ve test(does anyone know a time frame for that?)
Really just want it to be over now and moving on.
Had been fine until a mum announced she was due a few weeks before I would have been(our toddlers are the same age too).And was jokingly asked if we were having anymore.('About time isn't it?').
Sorry if rambling,haven't told anyone in real life.Only dp knows.
Hopefully af in a couple of weeks and then back to ttc.Would be lovely to have a +ve before August(edd)
Also is anyone taking a higher dosage folic acid and/ or vit d?

Emily sorry to hear that it's having an effect on your close friendships, I think that if people don't have any experience it limits their understanding and then it's hard to open up to them. Hope you're feeling a bit better this evening x

iecgi so sorry that you're having to go through this now, hugs for you

Miami it sounds like the miscarriage association was really supportive and it's good to know there's another outlet of support available, hope you're doing at the moment x

iecig So sorry you're going through this again. Id started writing my post ages ago but by the time id pressed send you had already written that - Didnt want you thinking id just ignored your message.

Fingers crossed for you though still.

Blatant place marking so I dont loose you all again!

Anne, so sorry its dragging on like this leaving you in Limbo . And for everyone else who has found the board, sorry you're all here too.

I had a chat to dp last night about trying again (4th MC was in December) He told me he wants to put of trying as he cant bare to see me go through it again. Devastated is an understatement. I couldn't even talk to him, i just walked off like a stubborn child and stayed quiet while trying not to cry. Not spoke to him today either, I left before him and I've been home a while, he was already in bed by 5 and left a note saying he didn't feel well.

So All I've got is My Rmc appt a week tomorrow to keep me going and hoping it provides a way forward, Interesting that someone upthread mentioned a clotting issue around week 6, all mine have ended between 5-6 weeks. I had blood tests done on the 3rd & 21 day I think through my gp but all that showed was that I hadnt Ovulated that month, nothing else.

Now wondering if this is what has been happening the whole time?

Well looks like I'll be sticking on the ttc thread started bleeding yesterday after getting a proper bfp over the weekend gp just see what happens it it stops in a day or two they'll book me in to epu if it continues I've probably miscarried and to retest in 2 weeks to check it negative.... its fairly heavy like a period (although mine are usually very heavy this isn't as heavy as that more like the bleeding that started after my mmc sorry if tmi) so now I'm left hoping it stops and its ok I know it isn't it's too heavy but stupid head won't let me give up on it 😣😢

Thank you for your reply Owl. It always takes me by surprise how quickly you can go from feeling alright to absolutely rubbish.

I think one of the things I'm finding hardest at the moment is the impact it is having on some of my closest friendships, on top of all the emotional trauma that comes from the MCs themselves.

Emily sorry to hear that you're having such a crap day, I had one of those on Saturday and yesterday. I think it's natural to have those thoughts about someone who has what you want, the never ending why me questions can eat you up. A close friend and colleague is also pregnant at the moment and due when I would have been, at the moment I'm feeling nothing but excitement for her but if we aren't successful TTC in the next few months I think I'll get more and more jealous. Look after yourself